The next new football team

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > The next new football team

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Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

The City Name Sports Team

# ? Nov 5, 2022 16:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:26

Kawalimus: Jan 17, 2008; Better Living Through Birding And Pessimism

The Florida Scrub-Jays

# ? Nov 5, 2022 16:38

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

The Montana Buttes

# ? Nov 5, 2022 16:47

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Kawalimus posted:

The Florida Scrub-Jays

I heard the Scrub-Jay is a lazy bird looking for a government handout!!!!!

# ? Nov 5, 2022 20:45

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

The Deez Nuts

# ? Nov 5, 2022 20:50

ghosthorse: Dec 15, 2011; ...you forget so easily...

The Toronto Tyrannosaurs solely to gently caress with the raps

# ? Nov 5, 2022 22:00

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

I believe Sacramento is currently the largest media market without an NFL team. Might be St. Lois or San Antonio now, not sure, but I.feel like Sac should get a team.

Name them the Wildfire. Or maybe for the most famous feature of the city, the Sacramento Swarzeneggers.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 22:13

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Sacramento Dr. Dementos

# ? Nov 5, 2022 22:23

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Rarity posted:

Washington Football Team

The Department of Football Services

# ? Nov 5, 2022 23:51

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Sacramento Lobbyists

# ? Nov 6, 2022 00:00

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

San Diego Sparky Horsies

# ? Nov 6, 2022 01:26

Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Ehud posted:

Frank

Turn Your Crank To!

# ? Nov 6, 2022 01:27

Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Sacramento, Portland, or San Antonio Chargers

get out of LA you idiots

# ? Nov 6, 2022 01:33

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

fartknocker posted:

The Montana Buttes

The Butte Montanas.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 01:53

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

The Blues Brothers

# ? Nov 6, 2022 02:06

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

The Bananana posted:

The Vermont Maples

I dunno, I like the alliteration of Montpelier Maples better. Or how about just The Vermonsters?

# ? Nov 6, 2022 04:10

Penisaurus Sex: Feb 3, 2009; asdfghjklpoiuyt

Sacramento Cake

# ? Nov 6, 2022 04:19

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

For Sacramento have it be party magician themed and call them the Sacramentalists.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 04:22

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Quiet Feet posted:

I dunno, I like the alliteration of Montpelier Maples better. Or how about just The Vermonsters?

I yield that the The Vermonsters is better; can the mascot be a Bigfoot?

Does Vermont have bigfoots?

# ? Nov 6, 2022 04:41

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

The Bananana posted:

I yield that the The Vermonsters is better; can the mascot be a Bigfoot?

Does Vermont have bigfoots?

Bigfeet? Not that I'm aware of but you could probably hide some in all those mountains and forests.

What they do have is a lake monster apparently named Champ. Although in looking up its name I discovered that there is already a minor league baseball team up there called the Lake Monsters.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 13:35

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

It'll be the London Jellied Eels or whatever they use for logos over in Brexittania.

The Newcastle Geordies.

The Sydney gently caress This Is A Long Plane Rides.

The Honolulu Pineapples.

The Bananana posted:

I yield that the The Vermonsters is better; can the mascot be a Bigfoot?

Does Vermont have bigfoots?

When I worked at a Ben & Jerry's there was a super sized sundae called the Vermonster. It had a special bucket for the occasion.

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Nov 6, 2022

# ? Nov 6, 2022 16:10

unl33t: Feb 21, 2004

The Spokane Special Bucket

# ? Nov 6, 2022 16:37

Shadow0: Jun 16, 2008; If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.; Grimey Drawer

The Metaverse Metahumans

# ? Nov 6, 2022 16:50

Cognac McCarthy: Oct 5, 2008; It's a man's game, but boys will play

The San Antonio Clowns. You'll never guess which player they'll sign first

# ? Nov 6, 2022 16:54

epic bacon: Sep 19, 2022

the Brooklyn Hipsters. their logo is a freaking fixie

# ? Nov 6, 2022 17:06

surf rock: Aug 12, 2007; We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.

The Newark Needledicks

# ? Nov 6, 2022 17:26

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

The Albuquerque Azteks.

Not for the former empire in Mexico, but for the Pontiac car from Breaking Bad.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 18:27

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

The Cleveland Shitheads

# ? Nov 6, 2022 20:57

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Mulaney Power Move posted:

The Cleveland Shitheads

We're talking about new teams though.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 21:25

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

The Portland Bitches

# ? Nov 6, 2022 21:36

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

The Brooklyn Motherfuckers

Wait, no, that's the Jets

# ? Nov 6, 2022 21:44

PureEvil6_13: Jun 1, 2004; I LIKE PETA AND THINK THAT SCIENCE IS EVIL

The Topeka Meth

# ? Nov 7, 2022 17:07

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

PureEvil6_13 posted:

The Topeka Meth

You know how these teams are named, they have to have an s at the end unless they are one of a few Hockey teams. Topeka Meth...
Addicts?
Fiends?
Shakes?

# ? Nov 7, 2022 18:18

Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Topeka Kochs

# ? Nov 7, 2022 18:21

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

The Funky Cold Medina

# ? Nov 7, 2022 18:23

PureEvil6_13: Jun 1, 2004; I LIKE PETA AND THINK THAT SCIENCE IS EVIL

AAAAA! Real Muenster posted:

You know how these teams are named, they have to have an s at the end unless they are one of a few Hockey teams. Topeka Meth...
Addicts?
Fiends?
Shakes?

I wanted to convey how methy they are.

# ? Nov 7, 2022 21:14