Pablo Nergigante posted:

I’m Commander Shepard and this is the best thread on the forums

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

found another one



this one might actually just be a self-purchase though

Zetsubou-san posted:

if it was any lamer they'd have to bring out the black tent

Kild posted:

another one

Captain Invictus posted:

The yard was pristine, unblemished snow shortly before that video. Gus's favorite thing is making sure no stretch of snow is not mucked with or rolled around in. He was born on the streets of Texas and lived a year basically wild before being rescued, so snow is a new and amazing thing to him that he's only recently gotten to enjoy. It's his favorite thing.

Anyways, I know there's a lot of hilarious drama and meltdown sagas, but gimme some feel good, positive tales.

Lotus Aura posted:

A little while back, folks posted the first Turdiak IZ thread but left out its immediate sequel

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3968297

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

you have no idea how gratifying it is to see a community that isn't inexplicably resigned to his presence react to Lurdiak

Fritz the Horse posted:

remember that guy that posted completely seriously in the Ancient History thread about how Sparta was the epitome of human civilization and how we've fallen since then, we need an aristocracy and of course I would be a noble unlike you plebes etc. it's some wild rear end posting:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3486446&userid=183787#post406735667

also produced this emote:

Grassy Knowles posted:

i shouldn't have been surprised by the t slur

Psycho Landlord posted:

Why is Fritz' star red

NoiseAnnoys posted:

What the everloving hell?

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

edit5: disregard edit 3

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

you have 30 minutes to move your car

edit1: you have 10 minutes to move your car

edit2: your car has been impounded

edit3: your car has been crushed into a cube

edit4: you have 30 minutes to move your cube

Psycho Landlord posted:

I can't find the links but I remember the dog crate couple do angry dogperson bdsm loudly when told no

Yellow Jackson posted:

I share an apartment with two other people, Mike and James. For the past year everything has been going great. We all get along fine, have similar interests and personalities, and we've been dividing the housework fairly between us.

Now, one of my housemates, Mike, has informed me and James that his girlfriend will be over for the weekend, during which she will spend two and a half days handcuffed to his bed. Mike will be popping in and out of the house during this time, leaving her alone for long stretches. Apparently, this is a thing they do and both of them are really into it.

Now, what consenting adults do in the bedroom is their own business and so on, but honestly the fact that he won't be here while she is makes me uncomfortable. For one thing, what the gently caress do we do if there's a fire in the building?

Am I being unreasonable? Part of me feels like it's none of my business, but on the other it will feel weird having guest over knowing that there's a sex dungeon in the next room.

TheSwizzler posted:

They're not wrong but "Think of the fire code violations!" is one fun reaction to the whole idea

Nix Panicus posted:

I did some basic internet detectivery (took 30 seconds to search for the text of one of the tweets Jeff posted) and that person is still alive and employed with health insurance

Dixville posted:

Lol

"We can reopen the sagas thread!"
*immediately posts about something jeff probably really doesn't want us to talk about*
Welp, it was nice while it lasted see y'all on the flip side!

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

what on earth are james rolfe and mike matei doing why is mike handcuffing his girlfriend in james apartment lol what a poo poo load of gently caress

Cranappleberry posted:

could be a different one, but I remember she was listening to classical music and someone saying that she was going to poo poo her pants/the bed to Bach or Beethoven. maybe that helps with searching

Nude Bog Lurker posted:

Yellow Jackson posted:

Well, he only told us about it because they'll be doing some sensory deprivation thing where he'll have loud classical music playing in the room whenever he's out, and he thought we might begin to wonder what was up after x amount of hours of Beethoven's fifth blaring on repeat.

Right, sorry: she going to poo poo the bed to Beethoven.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

[james rolfe voice] she was making GBS threads herself to moonlight sonata which, i later learned, is in three movements.

Paladinus posted:

Now google Ron Paul.

Nix Panicus posted:

Sorry, I saw a story where a goon claimed they were dying and would soon be dead and wanted to know if it had actually been a scam or what

Captain Invictus posted:

I vaguely remember two posters, husband and wife I believe, who were like...dog nazis. Like if you had a mutt or anything but a purebred they told you straight up your dog should be purged for the good of dogkind etc. They were weirdly prolific posters for a long time but I don’t remember their names or what happened to them. Does anyone know who I'm talking about?

skasion posted:

Does anyone have a link to the old thread where the Pet Island mod(?) raged about her kid letting her chicken Megatron get hosed by other chickens

Chido posted:

I'm so angry right now. I was outside with the chickens and I asked my younger niece to grab Megatron and put her in the crate so I could let Roo out of the run. What does she do? She gets distracted trying to grab another chicken and puts Megatron on the ground. Roo mounted her and ripped off the scab, tearing the wound wide open again and only part of the scab is attached on one edge. I yelled at my niece and she said it was an accident, but for gently caress's sake, how hard is for an 11 year old to do as told before playing? And this is supposedly her chicken.

I put EMT gel on the wound and bandaged it again, and brought the crate back to my room and she'll stay here until the wound scabs over again. I really want to be harsh and tell my niece how thanks to her Megatron's healing is back to square one, and that if she cries so much and whines about tiny scratches, to imagine how Mega feels with a hole on her side, and that if Mega was her size, that hole would be like 10 inches long, and how she would feel if she had a hole that big, and her muscle exposed. I won't do it because I'm not her mom, but I certainly won't let her help me anymore, and that will get through, because she hates being excluded.

Lumbermouth posted:

Recent saga from the Costco thread: the guy who returned a bed after sleeping on it for three years.

TheMightyBoops posted:

If you work for a giant faceless company there’s no reason to piss people off. When I was at Starbucks I would give people free poo poo if it seemed like they might complain, and we trained new people to do this too.

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Ok lmao... But please let's focus on... I don't know if we can still call them sagas.............

haha what posted:

im not sure if the original post was a goon or just posted with no source but

"i am here at the Planes of Oblivion on Sexual Business" will be stuck in my head til i die

quote:

I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with—especially non-humans! I’d rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.

The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human’s natural habitat. The Planes of Oblivion is the Flame Atronach’s natural habitat.

Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know that I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Markynaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.

EasilyConfused posted:

Holy poo poo, this brings me back to the simpler time of early 2000s insane websites.

TheSwizzler posted:

the jew has shot the food

Kazinsal posted:

morally inept was the actual dogfucker but knowing that when someone says "the dogbricker" on these forums they need to narrow it down a bit more, there could be multiple actual dogfuckers

Autisanal Cheese posted:

fun hater posted:

lieutenant jeff talking about mrs jeffrey of yospos but the more he talks, the clearer it becomes that hes describing a 1998 ibm

NoiseAnnoys posted:

this is like the third time i've clicked on you posting this and i lol each time.

HonorableTB posted:

SPR got a perma

Joey McChrist posted:

take some mushrooms and fry em up with some onions thats the good stuff

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Lmao what the hell