Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

He claimed to be equal to Captain because that was his pay grade as a contractor, wasn't it? Lmao

ItohRespectArmy posted:

i used to read a blog called the walter mitty club or some thing and i really appreciated the guys who were in really deep on the lying

like guys who spent 30 years living a fake life as an operator and it coming out that theyve just been going to london to do coke and go to crazy sex parties

dudes rock basically.

some plague rats posted:

I can't imagine doing actual research to steal valor. gently caress it up as much as you can, you don't want to fool anyone. the whole point is to disrespect the troops as hard as possible and make fun of their stupid little bits of flair and overblown sense of self-importance where they think they deserve any respect at all.

I worked with a guy who wears one of those Vietnam Veteran hats even though hes like 30 which to me is a really good bit

TheSwizzler posted:

drahma posted:

I run slow

I work in the social services, and a lot of the people we work with have a lot of regrets. I've asked our case managers to have their clients come out and watch me run. I run so slow, time run backwards. As I waddle along, your life runs in reverse. Scars becomes wounds become chances to exercise better judgement. I run slow.

Like most people, I enjoy running in the mornings, before it gets to hot. Unlike most people, I've been pushed over by a squirrel.

I run slow. Sometimes when I am running, I think of those zen fountains that absorb a drip drip drip of water down a bamboo tube before finally tipping over and dumping their contents into a pool. Each step I take is another drip. I think, that fountain would call me a pussy.

I run slow. But I know where I have been.

Six months ago, I didn't run.

Six months ago, I had heartburn bad enough to keep me from sleeping through the night. Six months ago, I felt like I needed to go to sleep at 2pm. And six months ago, running felt impossible.

I run slow, and I have ways to go. But I can sleep. I feel alive. I can run two, slow, miles. Slowly.

Sometimes I get discouraged. I compare where I am to where other people are. But all that matters is where I am compared to where I was.

Once something good becomes something you are going to do for the rest of your life, the pace becomes less important. I know that my drip drip drip will amount to that deluge, eventually. Someday I will run 3 miles, slowly.

some plague rats posted:

For some reason I mentally jumbled your opening and read this as "I've been walking at night because I hate my wife." which seemed like an extremely dark opener

Frank Frank posted:

Time to update the “Days since a sex weirdo has been outed” sign back to 0

ulvir posted:

found Jeffrey’s personal anthem

https://youtu.be/zlM0vahvauU

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

axemaniac melted down in the duke nukem forever thread and posted photoshopped pictures of the kool aid man and duke nukem having sex with microwaves mom

Spanish Manlove posted:

Hey what was that one goon with the fascination with trains?

*eyes roll back, ctrl+t types in "amazon.com" then "mangosteen" then mashes the buy now button*

Zero One posted:

Thanks

TheSwizzler posted:

TheSwizzler posted:

I'm kinda a freak

a little embarrassed its rather twisted

please don't judg me if i tell you

_{i like big boobens}

Grassy Knowles posted:

Call me a pervert but I like it when my partners boobs are unwrapped for me to see and they like that too. Sorry to let you all down with this info about my fetish.

CyberPingu posted:

I'd have been fine with just a ban if she was buying AVs and not blaming anyone else. But trying to dump someone else in the poo poo (regardless of what you think of them as a poster) is loving scummy.

There's also no way she would have copped to it if she hadn't been caught.

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

watching stux lol at the thread in real time, and remembering when i was lolling at the same things 2 hours ago. ftw

TheSwizzler posted:

That DICK! posted:

Feels Villeneuve posted:

Lmao

Arivia posted:

What about ultima 5

TheSwizzler posted:

it's a mean av, and you've already paid

sharknado slashfic posted:

Sagas tell me more about mushroom omlettes

Pragmatica posted:

i’ve added pablo and nuns as thread IKs. have fun.

Pragmatica posted:

i have also added you.

TheSwizzler posted:

lmao it’s the plan

sagas talks too much poo poo about the mods

how can you talk poo poo about the mods when you are mods?

That DICK! posted:

Mods are sex perverts. IKs do wacky false flags. The answer is skeleton warrior

TheSwizzler posted:

skeleton Iks have not had a great go of it recently let’s see if the trend gets bucked

Pablo Nergigante posted:

On the iPhone app it gives me the option to edit every post now and several times I’ve almost done it lol.

Lady Radia posted:

i installed the "sjw" to "skeleton warrior" browser extension like thirty years ago and i legitimately have no idea what this person's username is lmao

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

This IK only buys custom titles for themself. This IK only buys custom titles for others. Which IK had a psychotic episode? Both.

Fritz the Horse posted:

no because we don't know that she was buying other people avs, just herself. so this gag does not work!!

they're welcome to if they can but I think maybe they literally can't probe admins?

pretty sure IKs can probe mods. don't get too buck wild with this

Oxxidation posted:

this is your thread. are you the man of the house, or the man of the horse

quote:

That horse mocks you. Do you hear the neighing? More like naying! That horse says no to you. The horse is the man of the house. You are the horse. Clop clop! Trot about to your dingy office, little horsey. Your wife kisses her husband-horse when you can't see. And then again when you can. She buys it shoes, finer than any you'll own. Its metal feet crush your soul. "This horse is now man!" it exclaims. "I am defeated!" you cry. The horse has beat you. Soon you'll be in the stall, eating dry, bland grasses, while the majestic Horseband ferries your wife about town. "Oh!" the city folk shall say as they drop to their knees as their muscles fail them at the sight of such a couple. "The horse is such a man!" they weep as they tear out their eyes, knowing they'll never see such beauty again. Your wife and the HorseGod shall laugh and eat gold together. Ha ha! And your tears shall be blood as you shrivel and turn to dust, forgotten in that stall outside the city where the HORSE is now Emperor Of All and Lover Of One. The citizens will genuflect before the great beast, paying whatever tithe the Hoofed One demands, be it of coin or flesh. The people will rejoice to do so, as their Great and Benevolent Equine shall make their crops plenty, and their lives ever long. The rotten stall shall collapse on your worm-eaten bones, and none shall remember a whit about you. Except the UrHorse, the original horse, who shall shed no tear, but blink in bitter recollection of that brief time he had to endure you.

Do not let this come to be. Shoot that horse. With your Glock. Eat its meat. Make a horse stew. Turn its bones into glue, and use it to glue the skull to your wall. Use its hooves to make a tasteless gelatin to encase its eyes in. Do it. Be the man of the house, not the man of the horse. He watches!

Autisanal Cheese posted:

One hundred per cent. And the smaller and more insular the community is, the worse the drama gets.

That DICK! posted:

Can’t believe I was supposed to read the watch bush start a loving war post in an Australian accent this whole time

lobster shirt posted:

i thought spr was new zealand? the lore is so complicated.

some plague rats posted:

I'm from Wales, it's not my fault, please don't think less of me

Ibram Gaunt posted:

Jeff is going to pop up when he wakes up from his slumber to post where her IPs were located and it's going to turn out she actually was a Russian state actor like GBS thought...

Cuttlefush posted:

Name? I can't find it

Grassy Knowles posted:

Arm reduction