Papa Johns WILL fully embrace quality again, says Papa John

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Papa Johns WILL fully embrace quality again, says Papa John

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

5er posted:

Never expected in a thread discussing Papa John's mediocre quality and their deposed racist wormbrained former leader that I'd get nostalgia triggered for the meatball grinders from a mom & pop pizzeria in my wmass home town. I haven't been back in over 20 years but I think the same place is there. Hopefully nothing's changed.

A good meatball grinder is a rare and beautiful thing

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:02

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# ? May 11, 2024 10:16

Prof. Crocodile: Jun 27, 2020

Dr. Fraiser Chain posted:

sub sandwiches with a "Midwestern style" taco meat + cold cuts and some kind of slightly spiced white sauce

dude wtf

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:16

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

better ingredients, better cum

my cock

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:18

5er: Jun 1, 2000

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

A good meatball grinder is a rare and beautiful thing

I've definitely learned that after moving all over the country the past two decades.

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:18

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

Prof. Crocodile posted:

dude wtf

Forget about it, Prof. It's the midwest.

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:31

precision: May 7, 2006; by VideoGames

Coupon deez nuts

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:34

Jack-in-the-Bach: Oct 15, 2005

No place is as bad as cicis pizza. There should be laws about what you can call pizza.

# ? Mar 15, 2023 16:40

Jose Oquendo: Jun 20, 2004; Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie

5er posted:

Never expected in a thread discussing Papa John's mediocre quality and their deposed racist wormbrained former leader that I'd get nostalgia triggered for the meatball grinders from a mom & pop pizzeria in my wmass home town. I haven't been back in over 20 years but I think the same place is there. Hopefully nothing's changed.

Go hit it up. There�s a deli in NE Mass I grew up eating at. Every time I go back up there I stop there. It�s so loving good and it�s one of the things I look forward to most when I visit.

# ? Mar 15, 2023 21:26

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

makin' a batch of meatballs this weekend extra good just to spite poppa j's. probably gonna serve them to a large friend group of immigrants, lgbtq peeps, and minorities just for extra funsies.

# ? Mar 15, 2023 21:41

ZeusCannon: Nov 5, 2009; BLAAAAAARGH PLEASE KILL ME BLAAAAAAAARGH; Grimey Drawer

Is there an official pizza tier list yet and where does Little Caesars fall on it

# ? Mar 15, 2023 21:55

Prof. Crocodile: Jun 27, 2020

ZeusCannon posted:

Is there an official pizza tier list yet and where does Little Caesars fall on it

It doesn't so much fall on it as it falls off it.

# ? Mar 15, 2023 21:56

Jelly: Feb 11, 2004; Ask me about my STD collection!

pencilhands posted:

A grinder here is when you�re loving a dude in the rear end and he starts vibrating on your dick like a pencil sharpener

oh is that why you're called pencilhands

# ? Mar 15, 2023 22:46

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

I don't understand their new pizza straw. How tf is that even supposed to work?

# ? Mar 15, 2023 22:47

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Pillbug

# ? Mar 15, 2023 23:34

SatansOnion: Dec 12, 2011

MoonshineWilly posted:

Remember when Papa John complained that his pizza would go up in price by 50 cents if he had to provide health care to his employees due to the Affordable Care Act? Oh no, I have to treat my employees like actual humans!

iirc the tyranny of Obamacare was to cost roughly an extra $0.25/pie. the poor guy might have had to consider scaling back the third swimming pool on his palatial estate/affront to good taste and his community :ohdear:

# ? Mar 15, 2023 23:51

pencilhands: Aug 20, 2022

Jelly posted:

oh is that why you're called pencilhands

yeah

# ? Mar 15, 2023 23:55

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Philthy posted:

Aren't there a bunch of these? Like people always seem to crash into papa john's stores or something?

# ? Mar 16, 2023 00:18

Neo Rasa: Mar 8, 2007; Everyone should play DUKE games.

Treecko posted:

What if you could use the pizza grease to run your car

Is that poster who was in direct contact with Ulillillia still around?

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Aren't there a bunch of these? Like people always seem to crash into papa john's stores or something?

It's just an existential level flight or fight thing like when you immediately have to destroy a cockroach.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 00:29

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Well I just did a google image search and....

# ? Mar 16, 2023 00:32

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Well I just did a google image search and....

Can you please search for papa john nude xxx, please? My internets down and I need it for my masters thesis that's due TOMORROW. You can pm me the results thank you.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 01:14

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Absolutely not.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 01:45

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

papa_john_garlic_goatse.jpg

# ? Mar 16, 2023 02:05

Treecko: Apr 23, 2008; The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!

Guinea grinders are good, hot sausage and extra pickles plz

# ? Mar 16, 2023 02:13

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

Remember when Papa John came out against Obamacare because it would increase the cost of pizzas by $0.14?

You know. The guy who lives in a mansion with a literal car carousel?

The poo poo could taste like it was made by God's Angel of Cooking and I'm not eating any of it. gently caress that guy and gently caress anything that gives him a nickel.

Marco's is the far, far superior pizza! Also whoever owns Marco's is not a sociopathic racist piece of poo poo like Papa John. Or they might be and are smart enough to keep to them loving selves.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 02:29

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

Papa John had always been known for his love of garlic sauce. It was his secret ingredient, the thing that made his pizza so special. But one day, something strange happened. He began to sweat garlic sauce.

At first, he was worried. He didn't know what was happening to him, and he was afraid that he might be sick. But then, he realized something incredible. The garlic sauce oozing from his pores had amazing properties.

Papa John discovered that he could use the garlic sauce to make mixed drinks that were out of this world. He started experimenting, mixing the garlic sauce with different types of liquor and juices until he found the perfect combinations. His garlic sauce cocktails became a hit, and people would come from all over just to try them.

But that wasn't all. Papa John also discovered that the garlic sauce gave him incredible powers. He could run faster, jump higher, and his senses were heightened. He realized that he had been given a gift, and he decided to use it for good.

Papa John donned a cape and a mask and became the Garlic Sauce Avenger, fighting crime and protecting his community. His garlic sauce cocktails gave him the strength and courage to take on even the toughest criminals. He would swing through the streets, his garlic sauce cape billowing behind him, dispensing justice with every swing of his garlic sauce-coated fists.

The people of the city came to love and admire the Garlic Sauce Avenger. They knew that he was always watching out for them, ready to defend them against any threat. And whenever they needed him, they would call out his name: "Papa John!"

Years went by, and the Garlic Sauce Avenger continued to fight for justice. His garlic sauce never ran out, and he never grew tired. He was a true hero, and his legend lived on long after he was gone.

Today, people still talk about the Garlic Sauce Avenger, and they raise a glass to him whenever they drink a garlic sauce cocktail. They know that he was more than just a man, he was a symbol of hope and courage, a true hero who used his powers for good. And they know that as long as there are people like Papa John in the world, there will always be hope.

write a story about Papa John using the garlic sauce oozing from his pores to make mixed drinks and fight crime

# ? Mar 16, 2023 02:42

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Pepperino poppers pickled ina giant bucket for a goimmick that worked.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 03:04

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

Papa John Schnatter sat in his laboratory, his brow glistening with sweat. His hands were shaking as he looked down at the test tube in front of him. Inside, a milky white liquid sloshed back and forth, a mixture of Papa John's garlic sauce and his own sweat.

For months, Papa John had been working on a serum that would cure him of his horrendous racism. He knew that he had done wrong, that he had hurt people and caused irreparable damage to his company and reputation. But he also knew that he had the power to make things right, if only he could find the right formula.

As he stared at the test tube, Papa John felt a sudden surge of prescience, as if he could see the future unfolding before his eyes. He saw himself as he was now, a broken man, consumed by his own hatred and fear. But he also saw a glimmer of hope, a chance to change his destiny and make amends for the wrongs he had committed.

He picked up the test tube and injected the serum into his arm. Almost immediately, he felt a strange sensation spreading through his body. His skin began to tingle, and he felt a sudden surge of energy.

But then, something strange began to happen. His skin started to change, taking on a sickly green color. His bones began to creak and crack, and his muscles bulged and twisted, growing in size and strength.

Papa John felt a surge of fear rising within him, as if he had unleashed something terrible and uncontrollable. He stumbled backwards, knocking over a tray of test tubes and vials, and fell to the floor.

As he lay there, writhing in agony, he realized that he had made a terrible mistake. The serum he had created was not a cure, but a curse. He had unleashed something within himself, a dark force that was consuming him from within.

In that moment, Papa John knew that he had only one choice. He had to destroy the serum, to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands and causing even more harm. He struggled to his feet, his body wracked with pain, and stumbled towards the lab's emergency shut-off switch.

With a trembling hand, he slammed his palm down on the switch. There was a loud hiss, and then a sudden silence. The lab fell still, and Papa John slumped to the ground, exhausted and broken.

As he lay there, he realized that he had been given a second chance. He had seen the future, and he knew that he could change it. He would use his knowledge and his power to make things right, to fight against racism and hatred wherever he found it.

And he would do it not with a serum or a potion, but with his own two hands and his own indomitable will. For he was Papa John, and he would never give up the fight.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 03:07

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Frucking crack doesn't make you hungry.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 03:08

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

I don�t have any cool stories like �accidentally served customer fingat� or �manager died locked in the walk-in� but I worked for Pizza Hut for a while and everything bad about them that has ever been said is valid.

Every one of the restaurants is filthy as poo poo and all of them violate sanitary guidelines to some degree, stuff like re-using pans/trays, stacking wet dishes, refilling containers/toppings instead of replacing them, not enforcing proper hand washing/gloving (not even all throughout Covid!), etc.

# ? Mar 16, 2023 03:35