LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

There is a difference between Sagas and drama. The two are often intertwined, but for the purposes of this thread we'll define Sagas as tales or events that people outside of Something Awful, perhaps outside the internet all together (they exist??) would find fun, funny, or otherwise interesting and noteworthy. Drama is when the event in question is doing little but causing a lot of people sadness, frustration, or harm. I understand drama will often find its way into this thread, especially ones that are currently on-going (cough), but please try to keep the thread focused on Sagas instead.

Rationale posted:

So my wife inherited a defunct commercial building with a leaky roof and crumbling corner. $12,000 later it’s dry and sound.

We’re paying taxes on it and waiting for the next thing to cost money so we decided to either sell it or use it.

The building is located by a busy street a few minutes from a 1,000 student high school. Cars go by every ten to fifteen seconds throughout the day with a decent morning rush hour. For this reason I intend to make the building into a drive-through coffee and donuts kind of place. I’d imagine that from 6am to 10am we could conservatively sell 800 drinks and 800 donuts netting double what the two of us make now.-

I’ve sourced a donut machine that claims to be capable of 40 dozen donuts an hour. I’ve been picking up espresso machines and coffee pots when they’re cheap. I can cut concrete, set drains, run gas and water. I’ve been a plumber for ten years and I’ve built quite a few kitchens but I’ve never designed one.

One current sticking point is a grease hood. I’d like a 5x12’ island hood in the middle of the kitchen but I can’t find one.

Then there’s also the layout consideration. I’ve never done much food service work and I’d hate to build my enterprise suboptimally.

Long story short I’m capable of doing most of what needs done I just don’t know exactly what that is. I can budget maybe 75,000 for this because that’s all the time I have before our projected open date and we’re funding this with our wages.

If any of you goons would like to weigh in I’d appreciate it.

Mia Wasikowska posted:

Like the title says! This classic web 1.0 forum has a lot of history!! You guys remember Tribute.avi? Well DID YOU KNOW it was actually tribute.wmv originally?

Some of the Lore discussed so far:
Fingat:
https://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/gamecube-challenge-fingat/ and https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3417598

Duke Nukem Forever Launch:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3416433&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

THE ZIPLINE!!!! A goon favorite:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3290020&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
https://twitter.com/FoldableHuman/status/1018965087074177024

Doom Bathroom:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3813464%22

Griefing:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637

FE8 Reverse Recruitment Hack:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749611&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

gom owns abe for a month:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

hawaii retreat gone wrong:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1174437&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

looking for a bento box:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=406683

Let's Play: Phoenix Command: AR-15 vs. 30-50 feral hogs

renfaire guy makes a pasta sauce:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3723305

controllers only mods used:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3856974&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

Ask me about being a birthday party princess:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3502448&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Turdiak:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3968160


Darken the Skies of the Third World with Angry Bees:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2722818

Porfiriato posted:

I still enjoy perhaps the most successful av/redtext purchase in forums history.

- click the quote to see the av

Mystery Post DO NOT CLICK:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3703099&pagenumber=41&perpage=40#post442993299


How about goverhaus?
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2253640



What made that one extra good was grover was a real doofus. I still remember his famous Iraq war predicitons!

quote:

How long will it take to capture Baghdad? 2 days
Will Saddam be killed? Yes
Total Iraqi civillian casualties: 500 dead
Total military casualties Iraq: 3000 dead
Total military casualties U.S.: 15 dead
Will the Iraqi army regulars hold the lines? No
Will the Republican Guard fight to the end? No
Will chem/bio weapons be used on invading troops?: Yes
Will Saddam launch attacks on the Kurds? Yes
Will Saddam launch attacks on Israel? No
-If yes; will Isreal retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Saddam sacrifice Baghdad (gas/nuke it)? No
Will the Kurds make a grab for independence? Yes
Will Iran do anything silly like try for land? Yes
Will Saddam burn the oil fields? Yes
How long will the US be occupying Iraq? ~15 years
Will the Iraq war catalyze increased terrorism in America?No
In the long run, will this war be good or bad for the world? Good
We have to look at what those civilian casualties are- just because they're civilian doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities:
1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a cruise missile fired at the market.
2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house is targetting by a smart bomb and blown up.
OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since the US doesn't make a habit of targetting markets or houses, they're very small in number!
3) A civilian working at a chemical weapon factory gets killed when the chemical weapon plant is bombed.
4) A civilian security guard at a weapons depot is killed when the weapons explode.
5) A civilian contractor repairing a tank is killed by a MOAB dropped on the unit.
6) A civilian engineer is killed when the military command center he works at is destroyed.
7) A civilian delivering snackiecakes to the baghdad bunker vending machines eats a 5,000lb bunker buster.
etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of civilians directly supporting the military that aren't exactly "innocent" and would be mire rightly counted among the military casualties than civilian. I'm a civilian and work for the US military, but I acknowledge I'm also a valid military target because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of civilian casualties in this campaign will not be innocent.

23 March 2023 Edit:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Maybe I do have a moral aversion to making money because here goes. You could have continued doing this forever if you weren't trying to pin the blame on another user. I read your posts in the GBS thread and thought to myself "drat - who would be dumb enough to buy that avatar in response to those posts?" It seemed to good to be true from your perspective, and well, it was. Why the gently caress would you buy this avatar for yourself? I know you are aware of the ongoing discussion about avatar traceability. The part that has gone unsaid is that I can look up when someone buys an avatar for themselves, and that's what you did here. You log in to the forums to do so and they are associated with your account.


link here:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=4027239&pagenumber=20&perpage=40#post530681135

I guess I can see why you said this:

I wish I could say this is the first time you've done this, but it's not. You seem to have used the avatar system to direct death threats at yourself and tell yourself to kill yourself repeatedly and even said that you, yourself should "join the 41%". Why? Why the gently caress would you do that? Mirror universe Koala's March where she sockpuppets negative attention at herself instead isn't any more fun. I maybe get it a little bit up until the point where you start blaming other people for them and manipulatively pretending you don't know what they're referring to.

So yeah, I am averse to making money if it's from someone buying hateful avatars for themselves and trying to pin it on other people.

fake edit: lmfao I swear on my forums life I'm not responsible for that KM avatar - it wasn't there when I started typing this post. Someone else must have puzzled it out.

secret confession:
i bought spr the km avatar

i had just refunded the re4 remake because it wouldn't run on my computer. i had noticed spr had their avs changed a whole bunch in just one day. an unusual amount of times. i had never seen an av changed so many times in such a short period of time on these forums.
what was especially odd was a few things - usually if someone already has a demeaning red text av and they go into another thread and piss that thread off, that thread won't buy them ANOTHER demeaning red text av about slightly different subject matter, because they already have a nasty red text av about denying genocides or whatever.

i also noticed a similarity in style between the writing in spr's redtext (the one screencapped in jeff's post) and some of the posts spr made in cspam's "thread for straight up doing misogyny".https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4027202
I also thought about a post spr made about how all the mods secretly lover her posts and are pming her encouragement and so forth - that reminded me a lot of KM.
That got me thinking about "forums main characters" and what kinds of things people who love drama on internet sites do. Different types of sockpuppeting and so on.

Would I do it again? well, i had no idea jeff was gonna make that post. but if i hadnt gotten lucky and jeff hadnt posted his take down, i would have just been out $10 and regretted it and felt dumb. don't be like me goons. there but for the grace of god etc. im DONE with forums drama.



Anyway, what are YOUR favorite tales, legends, forum history events and so on from Something Awful??

B33rChiller posted:

I get the feeling this thread is about to be moved to SAD. Or was it planned to be there when the OP was written, but later decided to keep it in PYF? Anyhow, great job Rhino.
New forums court, HERE WE GO!

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

For me PoE is an acronym for the old Portal of Evil website and I refuse to have this changed by a video game.

haha what posted:

i picked the wrong thread to open while eating lmao

CelticPredator posted:

Captain Invictus posted:

lmao, who's peppino then

The Saddest Rhino posted:

That Little Demon posted:

https://www.twitch.tv/ritoru_demon

IZWF Sudden Impact starting now!!

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Cool cool cool the epic GBS obituary gimmick account was a permabanned transphobe.

pentyne posted:

this really deserves a postin' because god drat you are not remotely exaggerating

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

i am very intelligent and figured out the sonic 3 barrel without a guide

Fritz the Horse posted:

This might be a question for Rhino but in my mind, the ideal way for things to work is if it's mentioned here, someone posts "yeah this is terrible I'm going to email the admins / start a SAD thread" and either you mostly wait a bit for a reply or you take discussion to the SAD thread.

Lady Radia posted:

posters are their avs, no ifs ands or buts about it

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Feels Villeneuve posted:

lmao

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

your laughing they made me the ik of the cspam musk thread and your laughing

Mirthless posted:

The no-joe toxx thread had nothing to do with the outcome of the election and this is a shameless loving cash grab by an admin that promised not to do this poo poo anymore

Classon Ave. Robot posted:

This is kinda like that time they gave creepy rapey avatars to a bunch of rape victims because they thought it was bad to elect a rapist, except now it's rape victims and everyone else too.

Classon Ave. Robot posted:

Wow how surprising that the transphobic scumbag admin who got kicked out of the trans thread in his own dying board would celebrate the election of a rapist and transphobic slaver VP by mocking the people who aren't that happy about it.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Spanish Manlove posted:

Idk why but a long time ago the yospos admin (toby) replaced his av with all the gang tags that were available at the time. Maybe it was to protest how they were becoming so common because that dude just was a miserable curmudgeon of a nerd. Whatever. But when I pointed out that one of them was from adtrw he immediately took it out

Paladinus posted:

How can you prove someone doesn't have an account?

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Radia kicked rear end and I’m sad she left. Hope she’s doing well

pentyne posted:

Also, Rhino, what have you been hiding?

TheSwizzler posted:

Rhino's headed to the pizza place again

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Cthulu Carl posted:

Of course the ungulates stick together

Fitzy Fitz posted:

I do actually have a large problematic family heirloom in a small back room lol

Fitzy Fitz posted:

It's a painting of nathan bedford forrest camped outside of our ancestral plantation house that was built on stolen cherokee land that was given to my family because of their help with the trail of tears. I am not even exaggerating.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

Oh right it's the picture thread

Mola Yam posted:

what the hell. how is that a "heirloom". that's like a 1980s/90s TV shopping print. just set it on fire.

Mola Yam posted:

like you can get that fucken print for five dollars. framed!



i guess it's uh "cool" that it's your family's plantation but why commemorate the lovely parts of your family history with a lovely memento. like you can just not do that. who are you ever even going to show it to (not anonymously, i mean)

vyelkin posted:

okay after talking to the other admins I'm going to try and sort this out once and for all.

What Hand Knit wrote in the LC is actually incorrect. The decision was not made to permaban Iron Crowned on March 13, 2022 and somehow missed for 13 months. Hand Knit saw another admin's summary of the ongoing discussions when we were talking about permabanning him, and missed that that message was from last year instead of this year. That made it seem like the decision was clear cut and recent rather than being one post in the middle of a larger conversation in 2022.

Iron Crowned had been given a ban on March 12th, 2022, with an explicit warning not to talk about dogs ever again, but we were still talking in the mod forum about whether it should be upgraded to a permaban. The cspam mods wanted that and so did some of the admins, and at one point it seemed like there was consensus on that, which was where the discord message Hand Knit rediscovered this morning came from: someone summarizing the mod forum discussion on discord. But the discussion actually continued after that point and into the next day on the mod forums, which is why my memory of it didn't include a final decision to permaban that was never enacted. In the end, the decision was to permaban facetoucher cat but not Iron Crowned, which is why he was left at the ban with the explicit warning not to talk about dogs.

I will amend the LC entry.