PYF Schadenfreude: Um, no, dummy, why would a cat go TO a shelter?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Schadenfreude: Um, no, dummy, why would a cat go TO a shelter?

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HelloIAmYourHeart: Dec 29, 2008; Fallen Rib

Schadenfreude
noun. /ˈʃɑːdnfrɔɪdə/ /ˈʃɑːdnfrɔɪdə/ [uncountable] (from German) a feeling of pleasure at the bad things that happen to other people.

Previous Thread

We all love the classics: rope swings, premature celebrations, cat chaos, Ow! My Balls, cooking fails, dash cams, children falling over, people acting like they�re on Jackass, etc. The general vibe is a slightly meaner, edgier AFV.

What we do NOT love is anything graphic resulting in death or near-death injury (unless you have an article that says something like, �Miraculously, she survived the collision with only minor injuries�), any kind of abuse to humans or animals, political stuff that leads to derails, or bloodlust. If you have any concerns that someone has posted content that breaks those guidelines, please report the post or message a mod.

A lot of people in the previous thread requested the scripts that automatically resize posts, so here they are:

Swilo posted:

code:

// ==UserScript==
// @name           	video resizing and sound
// @namespace      	https://forums.somethingawful.com/
// @description    	loving giant vertical recording
// @include        	https://forums.somethingawful.com/*
// @grant          	GM_addStyle
// ==/UserScript==

GM_addStyle("video { max-height: 1000px; max-width: 1000px;} ");

window.addEventListener("load", function() {
	$("video").attr("controls", "controls");
}, false);

Takes No Damage posted:

This one also autopauses and sets the volume to 20%

code:

// ==UserScript==
// @name    	Fix videos - somethingawful.com
// @namespace   Violentmonkey Scripts
// @match   	https://forums.somethingawful.com/*
// @version 	1.0
// @author  	-
// @description 2/27/2020, 11:56:31 PM
// ==/UserScript==

const fixVideos = setTimeout(function(){
  var videos = document.getElementsByTagName('video');
  for(var i = 0; i < videos.length; i++){
	videos[i].removeAttribute('loop');
	videos[i].controls = true;
	videos[i].pause();
	videos[i].currentTime = 0;
	videos[i].volume = 0.2;
	videos[i].muted = false;
  }
}, 500);

A note about Twitter embeds: currently, twitter.com links will embed correctly, x.com links will not. If there�s something that should be preserved for posterity, please rehost it.

:thanks:

, have fun!

# ? Sep 20, 2023 02:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:34

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

The real schad is me never catching up on the last 4k posts in the old thread. Maybe now I'll actually stay current and not just watch the number of unread posts tick ever larger like the in-box badge on my phone.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 20:39

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

# ? Sep 23, 2023 20:42

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

https://i.imgur.io/KMlXYYA.mp4

# ? Sep 23, 2023 20:59

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

https://i.imgur.com/kLdXj7w.mp4

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:00

Kennel: May 1, 2008; BAWWW-UNH!

BaldDwarfOnPCP posted:

According to bird law that person is now divorced.

According to bird law that bird is now married to that lady's husband.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:04

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_s1fd36uyy31r0uzl6.mp4

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:07

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Admiral Joeslop posted:

https://i.imgur.com/kLdXj7w.mp4

If I hire you to trim a tree, or really do anything, and at some point your chainsaw blade touches me without my explicit request, you are getting a very bad review on Google Maps.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:16

BaldDwarfOnPCP: Jun 26, 2019; by Pragmatica

Subjunctive posted:

If I hire you to trim a tree, or really do anything, and at some point your chainsaw blade touches me without my explicit request, you are getting a very bad review on Google Maps.

Yo if you hire tree people you need to get out of their way and not "help"

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:20

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

Subjunctive posted:

If I hire you to trim a tree, or really do anything, and at some point your chainsaw blade touches me without my explicit request, you are getting a very bad review on Google Maps.

That is almost certainly his wife.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:20

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Oh the arborist's wife
Fears for her life
When she feels the tip of the saw
But each time she survives
the thrill amps her sex drive;
Some might say that's even the draw!

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:34

eonblue174: Sep 13, 2011; Still chipping away at the Anthem killer

Chop, chop, chop

Brawnfire posted:

Oh the arborist's wife
Fears for her life
When she feels the tip of the saw
But each time she survives
the thrill amps her sex drive;
Some might say that's even the draw!

Beautiful

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:40

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

https://i.imgur.com/aKZ8bED.mp4

She's at a sports event being shown on the giant TVs to the whole stadium and she notices.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:44

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Admiral Joeslop posted:

https://i.imgur.com/aKZ8bED.mp4

She's at a sports event being shown on the giant TVs to the whole stadium and she notices.

Is she dipping a chicken finger in soda?

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:49

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Is she dipping a chicken finger in soda?

what else you gonna do with dry rear end stadium tendies

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:51

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Is she dipping a chicken finger in soda?

Please, that is a �boneless wing� or �tender�, and priced accordingly.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:51

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

These threads always move uncommonly fast so it's nice to be on page one

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:52

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ep2I3Gf3Sec

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:53

Hihohe: Oct 4, 2008; Fuck you and the sun you live under

AceClown posted:

what else you gonna do with dry rear end stadium tendies

Take a bite of of your tendy then take a sip of soda

Like a god damned sane person

# ? Sep 23, 2023 21:53

Large Testicles: Jun 1, 2020; [ASK] ME ABOUT MY LOVE FOR 1'S

Hihohe posted:

Take a bite of of your tendy then take a sip of soda

Like a god damned sane person

You mean buy a thing of ranch like a fat blooded American

# ? Sep 23, 2023 22:00

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Admiral Joeslop posted:

https://i.imgur.com/aKZ8bED.mp4

She's at a sports event being shown on the giant TVs to the whole stadium and she notices.

https://i.imgur.com/XzLd2u0.mp4

# ? Sep 23, 2023 22:08

freeedr: Feb 21, 2005

https://i.imgur.com/L1ioYFL.mp4

Shodden froid

# ? Sep 23, 2023 22:14

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

Cyrano4747 posted:

The real schad is me never catching up on the last 4k posts in the old thread. Maybe now I'll actually stay current and not just watch the number of unread posts tick ever larger like the in-box badge on my phone.

Page one and it's already coming from inside the thread for me :negative:

Subjunctive posted:

If I hire you to trim a tree, or really do anything, and at some point your chainsaw blade touches me without my explicit request, you are getting a very bad review on Google Maps.

On the other hand, nothing actually came crashing down so this may actually be an OSHA success story? Kinda?

Hihohe posted:

Take a bite of of your tendy then take a sip of soda

Like a god damned sane person

You're never gonna get fried batter flavored soda that way :nyd:

# ? Sep 23, 2023 22:46

BlackIronHeart: Aug 2, 2004; The Oath Breaker's about to hit warphead nine Kaptain!

Mmmm, that fresh new thread smell.

Sound required, especially if you're a fan of Ginuwine.

https://i.imgur.com/3kkVCiE.mp4

# ? Sep 23, 2023 22:55

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

BlackIronHeart posted:

Mmmm, that fresh new thread smell.

Sound required, especially if you're a fan of Ginuwine.

https://i.imgur.com/3kkVCiE.mp4

when I die, and the video containing my last will and testament is played, please just swap it with this

# ? Sep 23, 2023 23:13

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Goodbye schad thread. Now that's it's gone from GBS I will rarely see it and therefore not contribute often.

It was a good 4 year run.

:smith:

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:08

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Goodbye schad thread. Now that's it's gone from GBS I will rarely see it and therefore not contribute often.

It was a good 4 year run.

I feel the same way about GBS now, never gonna see that forum again

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:17

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

https://i.imgur.com/k1zzDHE.mp4

Giraffes are basically horses that have had the elongate slider beaten into submission

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:21

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Goodbye schad thread. Now that's it's gone from GBS I will rarely see it and therefore not contribute often.

It was a good 4 year run.

Can you not bookmark it?

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:31

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

https://i.imgur.com/GaGpq9f.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/TPkMR8S.mp4

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:32

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Goodbye schad thread. Now that's it's gone from GBS I will rarely see it and therefore not contribute often.

It was a good 4 year run.

yeah, agreed. sucks

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:33

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Soul Dentist posted:

Can you not bookmark it?

I don't bookmark threads. You have to see them first in the wild in order to bookmark them and that's the benefit of not just going through your bookmarked list. You see more threads that might be interesting.

Also I'm very lazy.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:37

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Admiral Joeslop posted:

https://i.imgur.com/TPkMR8S.mp4

I feel like the sink was not installed properly if it can�t handle the weight of a full load of water plus maybe twice that much again in the form of some goober leaning on it.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:38

Bertha the Toaster: Jan 11, 2009

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Goodbye schad thread. Now that's it's gone from GBS I will rarely see it and therefore not contribute often.

It was a good 4 year run.

I hadn't even noticed TBH, I just bookmarked it and carried on about my day. Will be a bit crap if everyone stops posting though.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:47

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Pennywise the Frown posted:

I don't bookmark threads. You have to see them first in the wild in order to bookmark them and that's the benefit of not just going through your bookmarked list. You see more threads that might be interesting.

Also I'm very lazy.

I believe it auto bookmarks a thread when you post in it.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:47

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

Pennywise the Frown posted:

I don't bookmark threads. You have to see them first in the wild in order to bookmark them and that's the benefit of not just going through your bookmarked list. You see more threads that might be interesting.

Also I'm very lazy.

So you don't use bookmarks, to ensure that you get to see more threads. But then complain that you won't see this thread, because you won't bookmark it. :raise:

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:51

the yeti: Mar 29, 2008; memento disco

Platystemon posted:

I feel like the sink was not installed properly if it can�t handle the weight of a full load of water plus maybe twice that much again in the form of some goober leaning on it.

I'm not familiar with the details, but what we can see of that kitchen screams apartment to me, so "lovely install" is a safe bet.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:51

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Baron von Eevl posted:

I believe it auto bookmarks a thread when you post in it.

That is true. And I just checked for maybe the 3rd time since I've had an account and I have 39 pages of bookmarked threads. Yikes.

Wingnut Ninja posted:

So you don't use bookmarks, to ensure that you get to see more threads. But then complain that you won't see this thread, because you won't bookmark it.

No, I just won't see it as often as I don't visit PYF very frequently and I only look at the meme thread here.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:52

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Also I'm very lazy.

I am a lazy man, but this... I aspire to be this lazy.

Even though it's a step or two away from "forgot to breathe" kind of lazy.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:34

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Trabant posted:

I am a lazy man, but this... I aspire to be this lazy.

Even though it's a step or two away from "forgot to breathe" kind of lazy.

This dude gets it.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 00:59

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Schadenfreude: Um, no, dummy, why would a cat go TO a shelter?

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