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Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Applebees Appetizer posted:

Top goal for Rays this off season: Don't sign any pedophiles that are really good at baseball

Just sign pedophiles that are bad at baseball instead.

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Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Derek Jeter won five (5) gold gloves

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Make mcmagic the Yankees GM

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Intruder posted:

https://twitter.com/JBristolKHOU/status/1719090330463502549

rangers looking to complete their revenge on the astros

:bisonyes:

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Bandire posted:

And somehow John Wetteland might have been the worse human of the two.

Oh Christ I had forgotten about the Wetteland stuff :barf:

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

zoux posted:

Who uses openers with regularity, I know the old heads sports media has been clutching their pearls about it for a few years but it doesn't seem to be that common.

Two teams are doing it in the World Series tonight!

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I hope Tom Grieve is having a good day

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

The World Champion Texas Rangers will sign Shohei Ohtani

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


Please

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


Three. Three Rangers Gold Gloves. Ah ah ah!

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Lol

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Bandire posted:

I remember Benji Gil coming up in 1993 heralded as a huge prospect and franchise savior. I want to say I was even at his debut game or at least one very shortly after. What a massive bust he turned out to be.

Edit: Also massive lol that I am now getting SPRING TRAINING PRESALE emails from the Rangers. Who the gently caress buys Spring Training tickets in November?

I have an early memory of going to a Rangers game and filling out an all star ballot and picking all Rangers but when I was about to pick Benji Gil my dad made me pick Cal Ripken Jr. instead.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I remain convinced that the Yankees permanently broke Joey Gallo.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I think that my good friend Shohei Ohtani should sign with the Rangers. If that happened, I would like it.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Traxis posted:

With access to the Astro's cheating department Ohtani could break the single season WAR record.

Pud Galvin in shambles

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


Maybe the analytics staffers are all very short

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

mdemone posted:

My hopes for Ohtani staying are buoyed each time I read a disaster piece about how everyone else's organization is also total poo poo.

He should go to a well run organization that has recently demonstrated that they know how to win. That’s right, the Texas Rangers.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I’d be surprised if the Rangers cut payroll as they’ve just won a ring and look poised to compete for more. Also coming off a WS win is probably the best time to negotiate a new TV deal.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I’m hearing reports that Shohei Ohtani is “desperate” to sign with the World Champion Texas Rangers. “I want to hang out in the clubhouse and blast Creed with the boys,” Ohtani was reportedly overheard saying.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I’m a big hall guy for players I liked and a small hall guy for players I didn’t. Jeter out, Juan González in.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Intruder posted:

Juan Gonzalez deserves note at least for winning two of the least deserved MVPs in baseball history and arguably the single least deserved one in 96

How the gently caress did Griffey finish FOURTH?!

I can’t hear you over all these RBIs

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Intruder posted:

I know I'm opening a can of worms here but one of Trout's should have gone to Bregman :colbert:

People were wondering what it was gonna be like if Bregman won MVP. I guess we’ll never know.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

live with fruit posted:

I'm sure Darvish is already telling Ohtani and Yamamoto about how great Arlington is.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

zoux posted:

How many eligible MVPs are not in the hall? In the NBA, (which obviously is a lot less strict) every eligible MVP is an inductee, though I imagine Derrick Rose will break that streak.

e: besides Barry obviously

e2: MARIS ISN'T IN THE HOF??

Juan González won two MVPs and never sniffed the HOF. Josh Hamilton also won’t make it in. I imagine there are plenty of guys who were really drat good for a short period of time who aren’t in.

E: see above

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Blue Jays seem like the least repellent Ohtani destination at the moment (assuming the Rangers are indeed out of the running)

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Lots of people discounting the possibility of Ohtani joining MYSTERY TEAM

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Shinjobi posted:

According to my sources the Texas Rangers are the best baseball team in the world.


Still feels good. Creed, your writeup is this weekend. For realsies.

Oh god I still need to get to mine. I promise it’s coming by spring training!

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I am hearing that Shohei Ohtani is signing with the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Company Softball Team for 10 years and $635 million

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I’m hearing reports that the plane has been hijacked by someone identified only as “mdemone”

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

$700 million is a lot of money. I would like to have it.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I’m glad Shohei is getting paid but it’s kinda boring that he’s going to a team that has already won 100 games 5 of the last 6 non-Covid years

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Poque posted:

Jorbit Vivas

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Just remembered the Rangers 2010 bankruptcy when it came out that they still owed money to Mickey Tettleton

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


I don’t understand how this is even possible

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

I’ve gone from indifference toward the Dodgers to “ugh the Dodgers” pretty quickly

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

The only upside to all these Dodger moves is that there’s a slight chance of me seeing some of these guys make rehab starts for the Tulsa Drillers

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Jorbit Vivas

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Penisaurus Sex posted:

With this and Monty likely leaving what the hell are they doing?

Their opening day rotation is back to like Eovaldi/Gray/Perez/Dunning/Heaney right?

Without another career year from Eovaldi there's no way that rotation wins 90, jesus christ.

They need to pay Monty right now

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


Ohtani impressed by rapist. Cancelled!

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Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

It’s nothing but ups for Jeter Downs!

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