Starbucks has completely lost the plot at this point, no sense going there

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Starbucks has completely lost the plot at this point, no sense going there

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super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

A Fancy Hat posted:

What's the deal with those size names at Starbucks anyway? I mean, was 'large' too boring for these marketing geniuses? I mean, hello!

Hating the stupid size names is my most right wing opinion.

# ? Nov 13, 2023 00:25

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 01:24

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

cumpantry posted:

oh yaa ill have a green tea frappe and no i wouldnt like to round up, i dont like children

ok in that case would you like to round down?

# ? Nov 13, 2023 00:50

The Bible: May 8, 2010

Size names being weird makes customers feel sophisticated, as do extremely complicated orders (also containing foreign/foreign-sounding words) which basically amount to "make it 50% liquid sugar".

The Bible fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Nov 13, 2023

# ? Nov 13, 2023 00:55

111213_5: Nov 13, 2023

Starbucks: where to begin

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:26

Tnuctip: Sep 25, 2017

Extra Large Marge posted:

People only go to Starbucks because the name is a reference to Moby Dick, and they want to look smart.

Me, I'm a dumbass, so I make Hills Bros at home. Leave literary references out of my coffee please!!!!

Where do you find hills brothers these days? My bougie coffee ran out and all the supermarkets around me only had poo poo Folgers and maxwell house

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:53

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Can't post for 1 minute!

Tnuctip posted:

Where do you find hills brothers these days? My bougie coffee ran out and all the supermarkets around me only had poo poo Folgers and maxwell house

DUNKS!

# ? Nov 13, 2023 02:54

111323_5: Nov 13, 2023

111213_5 posted:

full halcion beginning at 11am today or?

this place slowin down and emptying like poo poo

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 13, 2023 18:33

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

111323_5 posted:

this place slowin down and emptying like poo poo

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

you seem to keep going there pretty often for saying there's no sense going there OP. given your penchant for throwing away money on disposable accounts that shouldn't be a surprise I guess

# ? Nov 13, 2023 21:36

111523: Nov 15, 2023

this starbucks is so busy there's not a seat to sit in!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 15, 2023 19:22

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

111523 posted:

this starbucks is so busy there's not a seat to sit in!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

can i have a dollar

# ? Nov 15, 2023 19:56

The Hello Machine: Jul 19, 2021; I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.

I make coffee at home. Sometimes when I want a nice treat I will purchase a cappuccino or some other espresso drink. About once a year..

not from starbucks though

# ? Nov 15, 2023 20:05

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

The Hello Machine posted:

I make coffee at home. Sometimes when I want a nice treat I will purchase a cappuccino or some other espresso drink. About once a year..

not from starbucks though

if you saved that money instead of splurging on cappuccinos every year, you'd be rich already

# ? Nov 15, 2023 21:13

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

STARFUCKERS!!!!! STARFUCKERS INCORPORATED!!!

# ? Nov 15, 2023 21:36

Haptical Sales Slut: Mar 15, 2010; Age 18 to 49

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

STARFUCKERS!!!!! STARFUCKERS INCORPORATED!!!

It�s really not so bad once you get past the taste.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 21:37

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

STARFUCKERS!!!!! STARFUCKERS INCORPORATED!!!

I'm suing you for stealing lyrics from Carly Simon

# ? Nov 15, 2023 22:24

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

welcome to Starbucks, I love you

# ? Nov 16, 2023 09:50

ClCADA: Nov 16, 2023

gently caress Starbucks they don�t use enough pre workout in there coffee

# ? Nov 16, 2023 14:29

Caesar Saladin: Aug 15, 2004

The Hello Machine posted:

I make coffee at home. Sometimes when I want a nice treat I will purchase a cappuccino or some other espresso drink. About once a year..

not from starbucks though

wow man you're incredible, you're like some kind of ascetic monk

# ? Nov 16, 2023 14:51

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

starbucks harbors a terrible secret

# ? Nov 16, 2023 17:37

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

Bad Purchase posted:

starbucks harbors a terrible secret

the right tail is a falsie!?

# ? Nov 16, 2023 18:11

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Bad Purchase posted:

starbucks harbors a terrible secret

the secret is their coffee sucks poo poo!!!! :flip:

# ? Nov 16, 2023 18:13

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Smugworth posted:

the secret is their coffee sucks poo poo!!!!

# ? Nov 16, 2023 18:13

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Thinking about copping a cuppa

# ? Nov 16, 2023 19:28

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

support your local starbucks

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Nov 16, 2023

# ? Nov 16, 2023 19:39

111723: Nov 17, 2023

starbucks today? OverWhelming.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 17, 2023 19:17

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Had a Starbucks Americano the other day because I'm currently visiting my parents in America who make drip coffee with the potency of weak tea.

I ended up splurging on an Aeropress at Target and its been getting a lot of use.

# ? Nov 17, 2023 20:00

SatansOnion: Dec 12, 2011

if that's like a French press, hell yeah French press coffee

got a vacuum-insulated steel one for hot coffee, and a glass one for iced. They're basically coffee magic

e: in order to stay on topic, it's not even in the same star system as Starbucks in terms of quality. Heck, even in the realm of expensive coffee milkshake drinks and their providers, there are so many better choices than the ash juice from Starbucks

SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Nov 17, 2023

# ? Nov 17, 2023 20:12

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

french press is nasty and gritty

aeropress is paper filter and good

# ? Nov 17, 2023 20:18

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Can't post for 1 minute!

I get Starbuck ground coffee for home.

# ? Nov 17, 2023 20:49

naem: May 29, 2011

paper filters remove oils that are not as good for you from the coffee, french press etc leaves the oil in

# ? Nov 17, 2023 21:09

Saalkin: Jun 29, 2008

naem posted:

paper filters remove oils that are not as good for you from the coffee, french press etc leaves the oil in

I'm going to invade the French press for their oil

# ? Nov 17, 2023 21:10

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

Saalkin posted:

I'm going to invade the French press for their oil

lol

# ? Nov 17, 2023 21:11

nice obelisk idiot: May 18, 2023; funerary linens looking like dishrags

Poohs Packin posted:

Had a Starbucks Americano the other day because I'm currently visiting my parents in America who make drip coffee with the potency of weak tea.

I ended up splurging on an Aeropress at Target and its been getting a lot of use.

My most recent visit was on a work trip to Kentucky. it was a kroger supermarket Starbucks. Kroger sushi and an americano weren't a good combo.

# ? Nov 17, 2023 21:35

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

naem posted:

paper filters remove oils that are not as good for you from the coffee, french press etc leaves the oil in

Yeah if you have high cholesterol (lol goons amirite) a French press or stovetop espresso will juice your serum cholesterol and should be used sparingly. I still use the Moka pot once in a while though because sometimes you need that 2 pm cafe Cubano.

# ? Nov 17, 2023 21:52