r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

trickybiscuits posted:

But I�m single and always monitor my surroundings to stay safe.

A lot going on there as they say

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 15:33

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 11:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my MIL to get out of a photo of me and my husband were taking at my wedding?

It was nice of the MIL to let OP come to the wedding of her and her son

Found a comment by that account

quote:

Yes, I would say so. He cancels a lot of plans because his mother wants to call him.

Good thing she locked him down!

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 15:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Love of The Game

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 16:12

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

quote:

Daughter's ex boyfriend soliciting me for sex.

My daughter's ex-boyfriend took my cat when they broke up. He contacted me a couple of days later and said he would return the cat if I would have sex with him. Wanting to know what my legal options are. I live in Oklahoma.
‐----‐--UPDATE!!!!!!-‐--‐--
I got my cat back! After seeing everyone's responses to my last post, I decided on a course of action to get my cat back. Long story short, I was able to contact my daughter's ex and told him I would do what he asked, but it had to be at my house and I had to be able to see my cat first so I would know he had even brought her with him. He agreed and showed up at my house with my cat. As soon as he was in the house and I had possession of my cat, my boyfriend, (who is also my daughter's father), and my daughter's new boyfriend, both, came out of the bedroom and "nicely" escorted the ex boyfriend off of my property without further incident.
Thank all of you for your comments and advice.

An F in getting pussy

For real though that motherfucker should be in prison

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 16:16

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

quote:

glitter scattered all over apartment

hey, my ex partner recently scattered glitter all over my apartment, im not talking a cup or two, they�ve completely covered the entire apartment including bedding, work clothes, even the inside of the oven, microwave and air conditioning units. 2 cleaning companies have refused to clean and 1 has offered an extortionate amount(tbh i would not want to clean this either). im currently living on a friends couch and he told me to take legal action since I literally cannot live in my own home. I don�t know if this kind of dispute would even hold in court �they covered my stuff in glitter� doesn�t seem court worthy to me? im a bit stuck and genuinely considering ending my lease and finding a new propery over it. is this something that would hold in a court? what would be my best option here?

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 16:59

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Hughlander posted:

He cheated and that was her parting shot upon moving out right?

You swapped the genders

quote:

believe it or not it was a fairly normal breakup i don�t really feel comfortable exposing the internal aspects of my relationship with him but i know it was done by him and one of his girl friends who i assume was the main instigator here

Not sure where you read this story where someone makes someone�s home unlivable and ruins their work clothes and how you got from that it sounds like OP must be cheating. If anything people who cheat tend to be the most vindictive about being cheated on or broken up with in my experience, not the other partner.

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Apr 14, 2024

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 18:10

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

mystes posted:

Very possible but I could also see it just being a power trip where the teacher decided the student talks about weather stuff too much for their own good and decided to "help" by instituting this absurd rule and then flipped out when the student didn't obey it.

I had a teacher in third grade who just hated a kid in the class who was high functioning but obviously neurodivergent for no particular reason and did poo poo like this.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 18:13

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

mystes posted:

I don't know about their jurisdiction but based on how expensive it seems it will be to fix it I could easily see it being a crime (if they can get the police to do their job).

Vandalism at the very, very least.

In Aus from a google that�s up to year in jail.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 18:21

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

It seems like both OP and the boyfriend+his shithead crew haven�t fully grasped how much damage is done and how staggered the cleanup is going to be, if they glittered bombed the inside of appliances and all her clothes and furniture in every room this is like well into five figures of damage.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 18:28

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

A classic other party shows up in the comments one

quote:

Posted by u/OKOrganization9552
My situation went from bad to worse in a matter of a week and I don't know where else to turn. I need to know if I was wrong. Possibly a validation thing because life is loving dumb right now. My wife and I have been together for 8 years and she just gave birth to our first (and last) baby 2 months ago. Up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her. I'm not sure wtf is wrong with my mom or why the switch happened but after my wife got pregnant, my mom started being very clingy to me and started avoiding my wife at all costs. Told everyone she wasn't excited about the pregnancy, etc. I threatened to go no contact with her when my wife was about 7 months along and after that she snapped out of it for the most part and stopped being so ignorant. The comments 100% stopped, at least. Though she still was clinging to me.
Now, a week ago my mom, my sister, my sister's husband and my sister's daughter (12) came over for dinner. I prepared the meal. Before my wife could eat anything, our daughter got fussy so my wife excused herself to go feed the baby and get her down to sleep. I thought I prepared enough but apparently not because my niece was still "starving" (she's 5'5" and 190lbs, I haven't seen her in a year and she was not that size then so I didn't exactly portion in an extra 3 helpings for a child- so it's on me). I apologized and told her that I hadn't made any more and offered her crackers, as I was putting my wife's portion in the fridge. After that, I just went outside with my sister's husband to smoke a cigarette and shoot the breeze. Didn't think anything of it. But then I hear yelling from inside. When I walk in, my wife and my mom were screaming at each other. Apparently my mom (who saw me put my wife's food away) gave my niece my wife's portion of food. As I was walking inside, I heard my mom say "looks like you can afford to skip a meal" and slapped my wife's stomach. Right as soon as I get ready to step in (literally fast walking toward them yelling "enough"), my wife winds back and punches my mother square in the face and drops her. The whole house went silent outside of my mom crying and holding her face. I tell everyone to "get the gently caress out". Immediately everyone leaves and my wife just turns toward the counter and leans with her hands on the counter and face down, eyes closed. I look at my wife and say "you too, leave, now." She says "really?" She's crying at this point. I say a clipped "yup". She packs up her and the baby and leaves.
I text her that night and say I just need space. I need to decompress and come to terms with what just happened. She doesn't respond. The next 5 days I'm texting and calling and I get nothing. She shows up here today (so 8 days later) and hands me divorce paperwork and my baby and says "here, you have a bit to hang out with her while I pack. Where I'm breastfeeding we can work out a visitation schedule that is either at your place or my mother's until she will take a bottle." I told her that's not what I want. I don't want to separate. I just needed time to process her punching my mother in the face. She said "you needing time to process gave me time to process the fact that I refuse to be in this situation any longer. I defended myself. I initially felt bad and remorseful but you making me leave when I needed you made me see more clear. I'm done. I'm sorry for what I did but there's no fixing this." She refused to speak to me at all the rest of the time that she was here. My house feels so empty and I don't know what to do. AITA for making her leave after she punched my mom? I just needed some loving space.
ETA: for the record, I am "team wife". My mom deserved it, wholeheartedly, and I've blocked her completely from my life. I literally just needed time to process what happened. My wife is a lot of things, violent is not one of them. So this came completely out of left field and would not have happened without her being provoked. After it all happened, my mom sent me a text saying "See! I told you she was crazy! That fat bitch doesn't belong in **our** life." I'm willing to bet she purposely tried setting my wife off. So no, I'm on my wife's side 100%. I truly just needed to process what happened and my wife took it as me giving up on her, not defending her and throwing her and our baby out (which did essentially happen because I knew she had to take the baby with her when I kicked her out).
eta: the reason "why": my dad was stupid abusive. I was beat. My sister's and brother were beat. My mom was put in the hospital multiple times. It took years for police to enforce restraining orders and he finally died in 2013. Violence scares the gently caress out of me. I clam up and get anxious around violence of any kind now. My wife knows this and she too grew up with a violent dad (step dad) and she gets just as anxious and panicky around violence. Her punching my mom in the face triggered an anxious response and I needed her gone in that moment. I needed it far away from me. I don't know why I didn't just leave. I could have. But in that moment I just let my emotions and fear run the whole loving circus and told everyone to get out, her included. My mom did slap her first.. I guess for some reason I was seeing my wife's punch as being worse than the slap. It wasn't a hard slap but my wife did kind of wince, looking back on it now. She was fine following but my mom was bleeding. Split her eyebrow open in good shape. Idk.
thanks for the responses. I'm the AH. I'm going to try to go kiss rear end now.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO
OOP
My mom did hurt her. She slapped her in the stomach and my wife winced back in pain before punching her in the face. As a few other people have pointed out.. I guess new moms have muscles separated in their abdomen so given the force that my mom slapped her in the stomach (like a little bit below the rib cage, full back handed slap, which could be heard from the door), I guess it's comparable to hitting my wife in her internal organs? Because her stomach muscles aren't healed? I just learned that.
PrettyLittleAccident
I�m sorry, you�re saying it wasn�t a hard slap but you could HEAR IT?!?!? Unless it was skin on skin, slaps are not usually something that can be heard at a distance
~
OlderMan42
Yup, YTA
Your mom wants to be your wife, or at least more important than her.
You really did need to prioritize your wife over your mother, end of story.
I hope you get another shot at it. Kinda depends on the past� if she has enough positive memories to make it worthwhile in her mind.
OOP
Starting to see that. My wife sent me a text about 10 minutes ago, saying "look up emotional incest", with no context. Definitely describes what my mom's doing. I did completely block her but it won't help my case.
~
CarrieFantastic6990
Info what other comments did your mom make about your wife?
OOP
That she was stealing me away. That she wasn't good enough. Made a few comments about baby trapping me. Never said it directly to me or my wife but it got back to us quick. She tried denying it at first but later confirmed she said it. Thats when I threatened no contact and nothing ever got back to us after that. I just assumed all had cleared up.
My response to my husband�s post �AITA for kicking my wife out after she punched my mom in the face?� Apr 7, 2024
Posted by u/ThrowAwayWifeNBaby
I�m still grieving at the loss of my marriage, but my friend had notified me about my husband�s post that had too may specific details that were hard to ignore. To clarify, this is my first time on Reddit. I read my soon-to-be ex-husband�s post and wanted to give my side of the story and include details that he didn�t provide in his post.
For those who hadn�t read it, long story short, my husband kicked me out of the house after his mother had physically slapped my stomach in front of him and I punched her in self-defense. I loved my husband dearly but his lack of action regarding his mother�s behavior was extremely disgusting to say the least, I tolerated his mom�s behavior long enough until I couldn�t take it anymore as he had overlooked his mom�s behavior over and over again that finally I had enough.
I was still recovering after giving birth to his child when his mom slapped my stomach, and my husband exaggerated when he said it wasn�t a hard slap. The slap itself was hard enough to be heard by everyone in the room. I had lost it at this point when his mother slapped my stomach with a turd eating smirk that wasn�t visible from my husband�s point of view, at least that�s what my husband claimed.
I had a mental breakdown when my husband told me to leave after kicking everyone out of the house, you should have seen his face when he told me to get out with a straight face and without hesitation. Our baby was crying at this point before I left, and I couldn�t do anything but cry that night after I went to stay with my mother. His mother sent me a text mockingly saying, "I am going to file charges against you for assault, you fat little whore!" Now stay the gently caress out of our lives!" She ended the text with a smiley face at the end. I was livid and decided I did not want to be associated with this family anymore and served my husband divorce papers, and as you can guess he didn�t take it well and tried to get me to reconsider.
I told him that he overlooked his mother�s behavior one too many times, and I was done with him and his inability to establish boundaries with his mother. I recommended setting boundaries, but he didn�t think it was necessary even after I told him throughout the pregnancy about the nasty names his mother called me when he wasn�t around, and he always brushed it off, even though he did tell his mom to stop she would continue this behavior after a short pause for a while.
Before I left after handing him divorce papers he begged me for another chance and told me he cut contact with his mother permanently. I told him that he is sorry now that I handed him divorce papers and that he was too late to act now that I decided I wanted out of the marriage. I told him I loved him so much that he should look at it as a sign that if I didn�t than I would have divorced him long ago because he didn�t stand up for me multiple times. and I let his mother�s snarky comments and behavior slide at my mental expense.
I told him he needed help with the trauma because I understand that he is dealing with trauma since he already mentioned my abusive stepdad, but he didn�t even realize that his mother hadn�t gotten him help for his trauma that he is still being affected in his adulthood. What I can�t understand is why he didn�t leave if he needed some space instead of being such a heartless bastard and kicking our child out with me. I�ve been ignoring his texts and calls ever since, and I�m waiting for a divorce hearing.
Something that I wanted to point out is that his mother had attributed to his niece�s weight gain, since she lives with my husband�s sister to save money. I, once again, told my husband about his niece�s weight gain that it�s concerning that she weighs 190lb at such a young age, and she was indeed not that weight before. On the day of the incident I was making the niece�s second portion of food and then my husband�s mother came towards me and snatched the plate out of my hands and said "I�ll do it myself, let me take care of it!" and when I tried to take the plate back his mother said "I know what to loving do, you don�t know how to properly feed someone as healthy as my grandchild!" I was shocked that she thinks that her grandchild�s weight was normal for her age.
I couldn�t take this harassment or abuse any longer and my breaking point was reached when he kicked me and our child out of the house, now I need to do what�s right for our child because she doesn�t need to be in a toxic household where she has to witness the drama going on. My soon-to-be ex-husband wants us to do marriage counseling, to which I have refused to do so because I am done with him. I�m starting to feel slightly guilty with his begging and gaslighting. I just want to be done with him. I�ve blocked him as recommended by my lawyer but he keeps reaching out through his other family members and siblings. What should I do to make him go away until the divorce hearing?

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 21:44

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

On my recently pregnant wife�s side 100%, I say, as I kick her out of our house

E: he kicked out the baby too holy poo poo comic book villain level of bad husband

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Apr 14, 2024

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 21:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Flooding my kitchen 5 loving times before getting insurance lmao

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:04

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Kurieg posted:

I wonder how long this teacher has been just upgrading her phone by stealing them from her students?

Sounds like you went to some fancy private school where your teachers didn�t steal your poo poo, you rich spoiled fascist gently caress.

�wow, you rubes think some teachers would ever abuse a neurodivergent kid? You�re literally a spoiled brat Neo-hitler� and doubling down at every opportunity is sure answering a lot of question about how certain posters might interact with children that nobody was asking.

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 15:15 on Apr 15, 2024

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:07

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Kurieg posted:

AITA for refusing to pay for my girlfriend's plane ticket after she decided to stay longer on her trip without me?

Babe I need some time to go find myself (in a pile of Italian strange)

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

I didn�t work on LnD much but my roommates did and they were right across the hall from my medsurg ward, I heard it was not as uncommon for men to bring their gaming setups to their kids births

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:26

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Elblanco posted:

I usually brought aruff to do and food to eat for the borth of each of my 3 kids. Played pokemon games for the first two. Granted the first my partner was induced for. I also fell asleep during the main bulk of labor. During delivery though i was front and center, hand holding support and everything. I was actually a stirrup for the second lid as my partner broke his ankle about 4 weeks before the birth.

Dads have very little to do during birth, i have no idea how this fucks screw it up.

I�m not talking like a switch I�m talking like a couple time full blown pc/playststion gaming setups

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:40

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Pantaloon Pontiff posted:

I always get a kick out of these self-fulfilling prophecy stories. This just put WAY more points in the 'end this relationship' column for her since he's shown himself to be controlling with money as soon as something isn't exactly what he wants. These 'my partner must always do things with me and I will freak out if they want to do something alone' stories are so weird to me; if someone wants to cheat on you, they can do it locally or semi-locally, they really don't need to be on another continent.

Just in time for the last hot take to finish up lmao

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:43

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Not paying for your ex�s extended �finding themselves� euro trip (abusive, controlling)

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 15:49

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife because she got a reduction?

quote:

Basically the title. I (30M) and my wife (29F) have been together for 6 years married for 2. I have a type, and based on my past relationships and the women I'm attracted to, it's not subtle. I like curvy women. And my wife happens to fot this type to a tee. She thick, and ai appriciate that. I have been with other types of women, and simply put thinner women don't do it for me. I mention this because I think that attraction in a big part of a relationship. I could love a person's personality all day long but if I'm not attracted to them, it's not being to work.
Very early in our relationship she told me that she wanted a reduction as she felt like they didn't fit her frame and that they caused her to receive unwanted attention. I asked her if they caused her pain, she said that they didn't. I told her that I could understand doing something so drastic if they caused her pain or discomfort, or if it needed to be done for medical reasons, but for what boils down to just for aesthetics seemed a bit much. She didn't really agree or disagree and more or less just dropped the subject, as did I.
Fast forward 5 years and we have been married for a year at this point. Out of nowhere she said that she had an appointment with a doctor to talk about a reduction. I was kind of surprised because I figured that at the very least she would mention it to me. I understand that it's not my place to tell her what she can or can't do with her body, but idk, I thought she would have said something even in passing. After her appointment I thought that we should at the very least sit down and talk about her undergoing a massive surgery. I asked her about her appointment but she seemed cagey about the details. Eventually she opened up and told me that she was playing this close to her chest (no pun intended) because she knew that I would try and talk her out of it. I told her that I'm her husband and that I wouldn't try and talk her out of it but I did want to make clear that, for the lack of a better phrase, actions have consequences. She said that she understood that, but her chest makes her feel too self conscious and she wants to go through with it. I told her that I understood and would stand by her.
So she gets the procedure done and after all the healing and swelling went down she was left with a small B. We have been intimate a few times over the few weeks after she felt like everything was good and it's been a struggle. The size is really messing with me, but not only that, the scars are brutal. I have a thing about scars that just give me the ick. Even when I had my own surgery, my own scars gave me the chills in the worst way possible. I opted for doggy style and reverse cowgirl so I didn't have to see the scars, but my wife knew something was off. She would switch positions so we could face each other, and it's been the end every time. I made up some bullshit about lower back pain, and doggy style being the most comfortable position for me. She got upset and accused me of not finding her attractive. I didn't want to keep lying to her, but at the same time if I agreed I think thay would have crushed her, so I just walked away from the conversation. I know, it's not a great move to pull if I want a healthy relationship, but I didn't know what else to do. After that, I pulled back from initiating because I'm just not into it anymore. I would accept her advances as her libido is lower than mine, but I've pulled away from that as well because her chest is really unappealing to me. After a few weeks of me not initiating, she confronted me about it. I tried to brush it off by saying that I was stressed and tired (lying felt kinder than saying that her flat chest makes her look like a child and the scars make me want to dry heave) but she wasn't having it. I sat her down and reminded her that her actions would have consequences. She blew up at me, calling me shallow and telling me that "this wouldn't matter to a real man." She asked if I still loved her, I said that I did, but that doesn't mean that meant that I was obligated to sleep with her, and if the roles were reversed she would say that this dynamic is borderline abusive.
That conversation was like a month ago and since then, things have been icy at best. I will want to cuddle with her and spend time with her but she has rejected my offers to spend time with her at every turn. It feels lovely because this entire situation was caused by her. She made the decision to get this done, despite my concerns. She knew how much scars deeply affected me and she pushed a specific kind of sex onto me despite me trying to work around this. And now that the consequences of her actions are affecting her she is mad at me. I am going out of my way to offer her physical intimacy outside of sex to show that I still love her and that I'm still there for her but she's not having any of it. I know that she's hurt because while I won't admit to it, she knows that I'm not attracted to her, at least with her shirt off anymore. And that probably feels crushing, but she brought this upon herself. At this point I don't know where else to go from here. I feel like she won't forgive me, and to be honest this whole thing has caused some resentment towards her so I feel that divorce is our only option at this point.
So AITAH if I get a divorce over this?
Edit: Those of you saying that saying that I only loved my wife for her boobs, read the 4th paragraph, and then read it again until it makes sense to you. Sound the words out if you have to. Not only is that take reductive as hell, but it's also flat out incorrect. Is the size an issue for me, yes. But it's not the end all be all, I know that attraction is very much learned, but I'd like to do that at my pace. And constantly putting fresh scars in my face when we are intimate is not how you go about that.
My issue is two-fold.
She allowed the glinces of strangers supercede my comfort with the situation. She put herself into debt just to appease the thoughts and opinions of other people.

She is not letting me adjust at my own pace. I love my wife, and I love being with my wife, but forcing me to look at something that I find deeply disturbing is kinda hosed up. I've offered solutions that could work for us perfectly but it seems that unless the only words out of my mouth are "great decision honey, your new boobs are way better than your old ones" she doesn't want to hear it.

Because of those two factors this is hard for me to look past. Especially since, this wasn't a necessary thing to do. I haven't even gotten into the fact that insurance refused to cover the surgery because it was technically a cosmetic surgery and she put herself in debt to do this which pushes us back from buying the house we want. All around this was selfish and pointless. Literally hustling backwards.
I started a deadbedroom Apr 2, 2024
I (HLM30) started a deadbedroom with my (29HLF) wife.
Essentially she made a unilateral decision to get a breast reduction for cosmetic reasons. I tried to get used to it but my issues are multifaceted.
1.after all the swelling went down she's left with a B cup. She's flat chested and it feels very gross to me, like I'm looking a a child. It fucks with me mentally as am I used to seeing large breasts when we used to have sex, so seeking her so flat just makes it feel inappropriate.

Her scars are loving terrible. I have a strong aversion to scarring and scars in general. Her scars have being absolutely brutal. Red and raised all the time. I even thought that she had an infection, but she tells me that her scars are red for a long time.

I'm simply not into flat chested women. It's just not for me.

I'm angry that she would make such a bold decision with basically no heads up or room for feedback.

With how they look between the flatness and the scarring not pnly does it do nothing for me, but they actively turn me off when I see them.

I used to out her in positions like doggy style and reverse cowgirl where I could at least focus on other things but it's like she puts them in my face on purpose. She even confirmed that theory when she told me that she wanted to face me while we have sex so she can "make sure I'm still attracted to her". And to be frank, I have lost a lot of attraction towards her. I told her the truth, I said that her chest is turning me off and that I would like to work around that for the time being until I can grow some attraction towards them, but she freaked out on me. I suggested she wear a shirt, or if we can have her face away from me and she said that's degrading (fair). I asked if she can wear lace bras or lingerie so it's sexy for the both of us but she says that it feels like I'm just trying to cover her up. To be fair to her, I am, but it's what I'm comfortable with. She either balks at every suggestion or cries and tells me that it feels like I don't love her. I asked her what a good solution for this would be and her solution is that I should appriciate how she looks and just get used to it.
Well I have a 3rd option, I can just take sex off of the table. It's been a few weeks since we last had sex (we averaged 3-4 times a week) so obviously she has been pissed. She asked me when I get over my "bitch fit", and I'll just ask her if she is willing to use any of my suggestions. She stormed away. Imagine trading your sexlife just to get a worse pair of tits.
It's a poo poo show.
We'll probably get divorced. FML
Update Apr 8, 2024
Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/MNyq6lcH5u
I want to start off by saying those of you who commented some version of "did you only marry her boobs or her?" Go to hell. Actually, get a course on phonics, then go to hell. If that's all you got from the post then I can only hope you don't have kids to pass your low IQs down to.
I have done some soul searching and have evaluated my true feelings on the matter. After speaking with a few people that I trust and my therapist, I am realizing that my issue wasn't JUST with the reduction. Does it suck? Sure, but I'll live. I sat down with my therapist and understand that I have four main issues with her decision to get the procedure.
My wife allowed outside influences to affect our marriage in an irreversible way.

The constant pushing of my boundaries during sex.

The lack of communication beforehand.

The lack of communication after I rejected her advances.

I gave it a week and have come to the conclusion that I can't let these feelings go. If I can't trust that she won't change her body because a creepy dude gives her a look then how am I supposed to trust her with bigger poo poo like having kids or buying a house? I asked if she felt happier after the procedure, and she said that she doesn't. I asked if she felt like she was stared at less, she said that she feels like she gets the same amount of looks. I asked if she felt like she got her money's worth, I didnt get an answer for that one. So the whole thing has been a failure. In essence, this was a big waste of time, money, effort, and stress. My friend put me in contact with his lawyer so done is done, I suppose. She can keep everything, I just want the cat.
Finally, for those of you that told me to leave her so she can find someone who actually loves her, you got it. I'm done with her.

Babe your disgusting b-cups, scars, and desire to control your own body are giving me the ick and violating my boundaries of you not being a hot piece of rear end. You are creating an abusive gaslighting dynamic that violates my autonomy.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 16:07

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

StrangersInTheNight posted:

he is way too caught up on the 'you let other people affect our relationship' thing, it's clear it wasn't just random dudes but a way she felt about her body in general

but the buried lede is that she got a major surgery that costs money, like 5-10k, and wasn't covered by insurance, and will set them back on their life goals (like buying a house) without discussing it with him

Normally yeah but if this was my husband I would not tell him poo poo. It�s covered in the first post, that she did but waited until it was close because she knew he would freak out.

Can�t violate his boundaries

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Apr 15, 2024

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 16:27

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Pantaloon Pontiff posted:

In what's posted (I didn't track the story down so there may be something different in comments on the original) there's no mention of her wanting 'several thousand dollars for a solo European vacation' or for him to pay anything more than he's already paid. She's just moving the date on a plane ticket back, which AFAIK doesn't is usually just a token fee for rescheduling, not a new ticket cost (if this is actually a 'thousands of dollars' change then never mind my original take). Also my read of "left her stranded in a foreign country without financial help" is that he canceled the existing ticket when she talked about changing the plan, not just that he refused to pay for a new ticket.

It's his responsibility because he got her over there in the first place with a promise that he'd pay for the return trip. If he just said 'take it or leave it' on the original ticket then I'd have no problem, but what he wrote implies to me that he said 'oh, you thought of a different plan? fine I'm canceling your way home entirely' which is him backing out of a promise.

It's more like if I go on a business trip where they'll pay for me to fly and stay out somewhere Monday-Friday, and I decide to move the plane flight back to Sunday to stay longer, or a week to use up some of my vacation. I'd be paying for wherever I stay and whatever I do, but they'll still pay for the ticket as long as I don't make it cost more or pay whatever extra cost there is in moving the ticket later.

Or maybe it's like if I go on a cruise, I talk about doing another week of cruise, and the cruise company says 'lolno' and strands me on an island rather than letting me take the return leg of the cruise we had already agreed on. The 'removing the return ticket when she talked about staying longer' (which is only implied in the original) is the piece that's controlling to me.

Hell yeah dude

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 17:40

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

I need to know how big the tits/dicks in this situation are before I can make any decisions about whose boundaries are violated.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 17:55

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Ominous Jazz posted:

i think, given the breadth of what we know about him from his posting, that not only should we shame him but that there should exist a government institution that can shame him more effectively into being a better person

This place could also just be an extremely hot orbital body that he could get sent to at high velocity

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 18:24

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

quote:

My precal teacher thinks he knows everything about female bodies

I have PCOS, and while I was in my Precalculus class when I unexpectedly started my period. I raised my hand to go to the bathroom but my teacher said no because he was teaching. Reasonable I guess, but then when were doing independent work, I had finished early and asked to go to the bathroom once again, he said no. I asked again 10 minutes later and he still said no.
Whenever the bell rang I had bled through my blue jeans and blood stained my crotch area and a fair bit down the back of my thigh. I wrapped my jacket around my waist gather my things to try to rush to the nurses office when he stops me.
He tells me that what I did was disrespectful. I explained I started my menstrual cycle because I am quite blunt and don't feel like making up an excuse. He said that I wouldn't really have to go to the bathroom because "Women only lose 6 tablespoons of blood during their period". In addition he said periods only last 4 days so it wasn't a big deal anyway. And when I said I was concerned about the other students smelling my blood since I bleed quite heavily, he said blood doesn't stink but then made an offhanded comment of me smelling metallic today.
After being lectured by Mr"I know everything about women" for 13 minutes after the bell rang and already being late to my lunch, i went to the nurses office and she gave me a change of clothes ans a pass to go to class.

Tired of women disrespecting me and my knowledge of their anatomy

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 18:32

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

quote:

I 20M am not comfortable with my gfs 19F living situation and I'm not sure how to bring it up.

I (20m) am visiting my girlfriend (19f) for spring break. This is the first time I have visited here this year as we both go to colleges that are across the country from each other. I have met her 2 roommates briefly when we facetime and they all seem nice and enjoy similar things as her. They had met each other through social media and had been talking for a while and had planned to live together so they're all pretty close.
Her dorm is apartment style (includes living room and dining area). When she was giving me a tour I saw that there were 4 bedrooms. I know she and her two other roommates all have a room but I didn't know why there was a fourth room. When I asked her she said that the room wasn't that important and laughed with her roommates.
The first night, after having dinner the four of us were hanging out in their living room area when the door opened and another girl walked in. She seemed surprised to see me and walked right into the fourth bedroom. My gf and her roommates started to laugh and after they were done told me that she was their other roommate. I was super confused because anytime I've talked with my gf the only other people who talk were the other 2 girls. My gf even sent pictures of the bathrooms, living room, and kitchen after the three of them decorated it for themselves.
My gf and her roommates then told me that because they went into the dorms as a group of three, they ended up with a random roommate. The entire time, they never said her name and just called her �random roommate� while laughing. At one point, the girl came out to fill her water bottle and my gf and the other two stopped mid conversation and stared like a hawk at her until she went back into her room. After she did, they resumed talking and laughing. The girl didn't come out for the rest of the night.
Before we went to bed I asked my gf more about her other roommate and why they all act like that. At first she was confused but then said that the girl is really nice shes just not like them. She said that in the beginning of the year, the girl was really talkative towards them and friendly but the other two girls did some stuff and now she just goes to her room all the time. She said that she says hi to her sometimes when she's getting ready for class but that's it. She said that she was just different from them and not all roommates have to get along. I asked if she knew I was coming and staying here for a week and she said no but she'd be fine with it.
The past 3 days I�ve been here, I've noticed that while my gf and her roommates all hang out in the living room, the other girl stays in her room and only comes out when she leaves. My gf gave me a more in depth tour and the girl gets one door shelf in the fridge and half a drawer/cabinet in their kitchen. The rest is used by the other girls. I asked why she doesnt have more space and my gf just shrugged.
I'm not sure why but I just feel really soured about the entire thing. My gf has never been a mean girl but something about this just makes me uncomfortable. On one hand, I'm really happy my gf was lucky enough to have roommates she gets along with and are her friends, but on the other hand I feel bad for her other roommate. I don't know if I'm just overthinking this. How do I bring this up to my gf or should I just leave it alone?
Editor Note: This post did not receive many comments but the ones that were posted all agree that he needed to let his girlfriend go.
[Update: I 20M am not comfortable with my gfs 19F living situation and I'm not sure how to bring it up.(https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRAspringbreakbf/comments/1bob55d/update_i_20m_am_not_comfortable_with_my_gfs_19f/ - March 2024
Hi everyone. I posted a while back and received some replies as well as a bunch of private messages. I decided to post a short update to let you all know what happened. Shortly after I posted and read through your comments and messages, I realized that this relationship was about to end. A lot of you brought up great points andI just couldn't justify staying with a person who acts like this.
That night, we all went out to a couple of parties and seeing her act just kind of reinforced my previous thoughts. Her and her friends were just so rude. I don't mean flat out, they actually were pretty fun and nice to a bunch of people, but the three of them just had no regard for everyone else except for them. It was like they had no awareness of their surroundings and didn't even care.
Towards the end of the night, I was so upset about everything that I asked my gf if we could head back early. She said yes and we split up from the other two girls. When we got back to her place and got ready for bed, I brought up her two roommates and just lightly spoke about everything on my mind. She fully admitted that she knew the two girls were rude and literally called them �horrible bitches� but there was nothing she could do because they all lived together. I brought up that she willingly signed a lease to move in with them in an apartment next year and if she didnt like them, why did she always entertained them. She said she didnt know what to say and just kind of shrugged it off.
I then asked about her other roommate and found out wha the other two girls did. Apparently, when the 3 of them went out, the girl made her dinner and ate in their living room while watching a movie. When they came back and saw her, one of the two walked into the living room, unplugged the TV (in the middle of the movie) and said, �you did not pay for this. This is not yours. Do not touch� while the other girl took the remote and laughed. The TV belonged to one of the roommates who brought it from her room at home. The apps on it were all split between the roommates and I think one of the accounts belonged to the girl. So, my gf and the other girl also didn't pay for the tv.
I was shocked. That is legit mean girl stuff you see in movies. When I asked my gf what she did, she said she did nothing and in the moment laughed because she was embarrassed for her and thats just what she does when shes uncomfortable (which is true). My girlfriend passed out after that and I spent a little bit packing my stuff and preparing what I was going to tell her.
The next more i straight up told her that I really dont see a future with her. I said that she has become a bully and I dont want to be with someone who surrounds herself with people that are horrible people. She became defensive and said that shes never done anything bad and its the other two girls. I told her that by now, shes an adult and had many chances to not partake in their bullying but has chosen to and stuck up for them. She got very emotional and then became angry and told me to leave.
I got an uber and headed to the airport and when I got back to my place she had texted me and asked if this was a break while I figured out what I wanted or if this was definite. I restated what I told her and said that I hope she figures out who she is and I wish her well. I think she blocked me after that. I havent heard from her since.
I did hear from my friends gf, who is friendly with her and on her private stories, that their room got busted for having alcohol in them (which is banned in the dorms) and all four of them have to have a meeting with their RA and dorm director "proving their innocence". I hope this gives the fourth girl an opportunity to tell them about her living situation but I don't think I'll ever know. Anyways, thanks for all the advice that I revise. I know it wasn't much, but I defiantly appreciate it.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 18:53

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

quote:

AITA for sending graphic videos to my wife to try and change her views on the Israel-Gaza conflict?

I'm Jewish, and although I'm not particularly religious, I have strong feelings about the recent Israel-Gaza conflict. To me, there's a clear distinction between right and wrong, especially when it comes to the killing of innocent civilians.
My wife, however, believes that both sides have their faults. She feels it's not as clear-cut and that the people in Gaza have a right to defend and fight back. Her Twitter feed often mirrors this viewpoint and seems to primarily show the bombing of buildings in Gaza.
We've had several passionate debates about this, and she often concludes by suggesting we "agree not to talk about it anymore" to avoid further conflict. Despite her wishes, today I sent her some graphic videos of disturbing incidents involving Israelis, thinking it might sway her perspective. She is now deeply upset.
AITA for continually pushing my viewpoint on her, especially after she's made it clear she wants to avoid the topic and asked me to respect her "personal political beliefs"?
*Throwaway account because she has my handle.

Fellas is it okay to post gore to win an argument with your wife?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 18:58

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

el dingo posted:

You may not discuss the Ip Man movies in this thread

Death to Nippon China #1 bitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv9ygN2B8WU

Teacher [40sF] called me[19F] out in front of the class, asking if I am an adult and making me admit I don't have $10 to spend on school supplies

quote:

This isn't the most important or dramatic thing ever, but I'm really upset right now and I don't know what to do.
I'm in a figure sculpting class at my community college, and I've been having a hard time. I've never worked in clay before, let alone made figure sculptures out of it. Good clay was expensive at the store she recommended we go to, and it was a large heavy block so I was under the impression we didn't need to buy more. I just smashed all of my work when we were done, I didn't like them anyway.
There has been a piece here and there where my teacher (I'll say Mary) has asked if I want to fire them (put them in a furnace to harden them). I always said no, I need the clay from the piece because I can't afford to buy more. She assured me she has recycled clay, that I should keep some of my pieces, but I didn't want to.
I'm also having a hard time financially. I work a job slightly above min wage, and I'm not given many hours. I'm struggling at that job, too, and that's been a great source of stress for me.
I haven't been the biggest fan of Mary so far. She hasn't taught this class before, and for people who've never used clay in their life, I didn't feel like she explained enough about the medium, she just threw us in and got irritated when we didn't know what we were doing. When we ask for help (even if we don't ask), she shoves you aside and works on your piece. This includes tearing it out, using tools to scratch at the clay, smashing more clay on to whatever you were working on. In my figure drawing class, the most that teacher would do was gesture with her finger what needed to be done. That's all. Mary also has given people poo poo for the whole semester. People ask innocent questions, and she answers in a mocking way. I was sitting in a chair once, because my clay was set up on something short, and she ranted about how we shouldn't be lazy and our sculptures aren't going to be good and we aren't good artists if we aren't standing with the model. She tried to make my sculpting stand taller, but then it was too tall, so I ended up sitting the rest of the class so I could reach my piece. Now, with the added impression that I'm lazy. She then said I should have gotten there earlier so I could get a sculpting stand that worked.
Today, someone ran out of their clay. She has always said she has recycled clay, so I don't think anyone thought it would be a huge deal. After giving her a hard time, she went to check and came back saying she was out of recycled clay. She asked "do your other art classes ask you to buy supplies?" People said yes. "Then it's no different here, you need to come to class prepared." Which is fine, but the bag of clay I bought at the beginning of the semester was $20. I felt bad for the girl who had no clay now, but when I went to get my clay out I found that it had hardened in my locker over the weekend. I've seen her help someone whose clay hardened before, so I asked for her help.
She gets PISSED. She goes to say something to me, stops, then starts pacing around the room. "Are you guys adults? Like, are you? I am DONE talking to you guys about your clay, you need to grow up and sort it out yourself. You need to go buy more clay, it's $10 at the bookstore." I never knew it was cheaper there, but I literally have no money this week. She looks at me and tells me specifically to go buy more clay. I ask, "right now?" She says, "unless you're just going to sit there all day."
I say I literally do not have the money to go buy clay. She stops, bends over, makes a dramatic frustrated noise and paces around some more. I'm bewildered because it's not like I KNEW my clay would be hard when I came back to class. I say I'm sorry, and she comes back asking if me and the other girl can share a bag of clay. The other girl says yes, and Mary says she is going to front us the money and buy us some clay, then storms out.
I'm just sitting there, people staring at me and I can feel myself start to tear up. I usually try to be humorous in awkward situations, but when I went to speak the only thing I could say was "great, I just had to admit to everyone that I don't have ten loving dollars." I started to actually cry, so I just muttered that I should just leave, and grabbed my stuff. People said not to, that she was getting more clay, that they could give me money, but that just upset me more and I didn't want Mary to come back to me sobbing. I left.
I realized I left my partner without someone to sculpt. I feel really bad, but I just didn't want to be around Mary anymore, and I didn't want to take anything from her. I would rather skip a day than owe her money. It also loving sucks to know that I was once making good money at my last jobs, but I made the stupid decision of trying to find a non-seasonal job and now I'm loving broke. I've been trying my hardest to keep up having a job and going to school, but I'm really struggling this semester and this didn't help.
I guess my question is now what do I do? I really don't want to face her again, and silently pretend nothing happened, but I would be wasting the entire semester so far to drop the class now. My fianc� gets paid tomorrow, so if I ask him for money he will buy me more clay, but I feel lovely already asking him to pay for my share of the bills. And I don't want to come to class with a bag of new clay, because knowing her she would call me out saying I had the money all along. This is a class that I needed to get a certificate here, and as far as I know she's the only one who teaches it. What do I do?
TLDR: Teacher calls me out in front of everyone for not having clay (even though I did, it just hardened). Tells me to buy more, I have to admit that I don't have $10. She gets pissed and asks if I'm an adult, insinuates that I'm irresponsible and says she will buy me clay and I can pay her later. I get upset and leave. What do?

Update

quote:

Okay. I had no idea so many people would care so much about clay, I thought I would get like two comments. This really blew up. Thank you to everyone who commented, to all the people who told me how the process works, and for all of the general tips regarding clay, student financial aid, and general finances. A lot of people took time to read my stupid ramblings and type up a reply. I'm grateful.
I also want to thank every single one of you who offered to buy me clay. You are all the kindest, most generous people ever. I just wouldn't feel right taking money to buy clay, when I don't even enjoy the medium. I also will go into more details below, but I'm not going to be taking the class anymore.
To all of you who agreed with Mary and said that I'm not an adult because:
I don't have $10
I wasn't prepared coming to class (Gosh, if only I was psychic and knew my clay hardened)
I cried when someone yelled at me for not having money
I'm lying about not having any money, and I just wanted to be a bitch to my teacher
I would like to say that I'm glad none of you has ever been in this situation before. I put it clearly in my post (and my replies) that I didn't have $10 that day. I have money now! Fiance got paid, we're fluuuuuuuuuush with cash! I mean not really, but still. We're good! If I wanted to buy a poo poo ton of clay right now, I could. It just so happened that I ran out of money after paying the bills in the middle of the month, and I didn't see how it was a big deal because I wasn't expecting any purchases. It was probably a period of 3 or 4 days where I was OUT of money, and at that point it's easy to just hold out until one of us gets paid. I have an apartment, a computer, my bills are paid and I have food. I would say I am adulting, just by definition. For everyone telling me I need to sort that out, I AM. FFS I AM. Fiance got a better job, I'm looking for a better job. I KNOW I'M NOT IN THE BEST SITUATION, I'M WORKING TO FIX IT. JEEZ.
For the clay, I stored it in my locker the entire semester with no problems so far. The outside would maybe be a little stiff, but being new to clay (at least, new to fancy high-fire sculpting clay), I thought it was normal. I would just spray it and squish it until it was manageable. This was the first time the entire block felt like a rock, and I couldn't move much of the clay. I didn't know what the procedure was here, so to all of you saying that it's easy to google and find out, guess who doesn't like phones in her class? Also, why would I google it when I have a supposed clay expert two feet from me? I picked up my bag, felt the clay, and asked Mary for help because my clay was hard. That was it. I didn't say, "Mary. My clay is ruined. Get me new clay or I'm not participating in your stupid class." I also wasn't taking her away from her lesson, because she had just finished demonstrating something. People were picking up their clay and getting started on the assignment, so I wasn't taking her away from my other classmates and I certainly wasn't disturbing anyone. According to many of the ceramicists(?) here on reddit, hard clay is an easy fix. She could have showed me how to fix the clay. She could have TOLD me how to fix the clay, and left me to do it on my own. She could have told me that without clay, I can't participate and my grade will be docked. She could have simply said, "Can you go get more clay?" And I would have probably said "Not today, but if you want I can model for my partner today and I'll have clay on Thursday."
So on to the update. I spoke to my other trusted teacher, who happens to be the chair of my major's department. I came up to him and said, "I know it's not YOUR department, but as a department chair, I was wondering if I could get your advice. It's about a teacher." And he just gestured me outside to where we could talk. At first I tried to be vague, and not single out who the teacher was since it's not his department, but I was struggling with what I was trying to say. He asked me to tell him who it was and what happened, so I did. I teared up a little bit, felt stupid, but he totally validated my feelings. He said she was unprofessional and classless, that she should NOT have done what she did. He said I confirmed what he already thought of the teacher. He also told me (he used to go to school for ceramics) that she is not even using the right clay for figure sculpture. She's using ceramics clay, and it isn't necessary or easy when it comes to sculpting people.
I asked what I should do, because it's his certificate I'm taking the class for. He told me we would find some other alternative for those credits, or I could wait it out until the department takes the class from her and gives it to someone who deserves it. He advised that I should drop the class, because as a teacher, you start to be in danger when your enrollment drops. You get looked at, you get questioned, evaluated. He basically said, gently caress her. If she's going to be that unstable and treat me like that, she doesn't deserve to have me in her classroom. She thinks she's teaching us some big life lesson when she gets mad about a late student, or when she yells at us about having hard clay, but she forgets where she is. A community college. We're there to learn, to try and better ourselves, and we're doing it despite being in a worse-off financial position. I shouldn't let someone like her discourage me from getting a certificate or a degree. So I asked if a complaint would make any sort of difference, and he just said it wouldn't. Unless there are a thousand complaints, then nothing will be done. Her file will be flagged, but unless it's a pattern, then she won't be fired. Being new to the class, however, might get through enough to where they take the class from her. He also told me that if he hears any other student having problems with her class like this, he will take it off of his certificate and replace it with something else. This would hurt her, because over half of those students were in there because of the same certificate I was.
When I got home, I got an email from her. It said:
"Teacherthrowaway1313
I am so sorry if I embarrassed you in front of the class. Please accept my apology"
Heartfelt, right?
So basically I'm writing a letter to the dean and dropping the class. I know a lot of you said how it would be cowardly of me, how I should walk back in with my head held high, and pretend that she can't hurt me, but this was the final straw. I was not learning anything from her class. When it started, I was really excited to learn how to work in clay and how to make little sculptures, to learn about more sculptors and their techniques, and none of that has happened. The only reason I was there was a certificate, and if I don't have to go back, I don't want to waste my time on her. I can spend my time focusing on my other classes and looking for a better job I've been working on standing up for myself more (my roommate's friends wanted to crash on my couch for a few days, which of course turned into wanting to stay for a few months, and I shut that down before he was even done talking. Set boundaries, set expectations. Felt like a bitch, but a boss rear end bitch). You win some, you lose some. Next time someone starts to yell in my face, hopefully I won't turn red and stutter apologies. Let them know it's not okay to talk to me like that, and give them a chance to correct themselves. But this time, I feel better just leaving it behind me. Thanks for your help, /r/relationships, you guys are cool
TLDR: Writing a letter to the dean, dropping the class. Finding alternative credits for my certificate, don't have to deal with Ms. Crazypants anymore. Also, am now flush with cash.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 19:20

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Reddit seems to remove double newline characters

Consent: not sexy for some

My girlfriend is upset because I hesitated to have sex with her

quote:

I'm 36M and have been together with my 32F girlfriend for 3 months. This is my first relationship after losing my wife 5 years ago so I admit I took some time to get used to dating, especially since I hadn't been with anyone new since like 2010 when I started dating my wife.

We have had sex a couple of times and during those times, we've both been either sober or had a couple of drinks, nothing more. It's of course always been consensual.

Last night, we went to a friend's party where my girlfriend got super drunk, like she must have had about 8 drinks. I wasn't drinking that night and dropped her back to her place. Once in, she wanted to have sex. I did want to make sure she was okay with it, so asked her. She said yes of course. I asked again because I knew she was drunk and had had a very long day.

She then got super upset with me and started crying and yelling asking if I was stupid or didn't find her attractive. I said that's not the case and I just wanted to make sure she's really on board with it. She didn't believe me and made me leave, like literally kicked me out the door.

I called her this morning and she said that she was really offended last night. She said I made her feel like poo poo and if she says she wants it, she always means it. She then said she needs some time apart to think through things and how I made her feel.

Was I wrong for doing what I did, and how do I make it better?
TL;DR: Double checked that my drunk girlfriend really wanted to have sex. She felt offended and kicked me out as a result

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 19:49

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

quote:

I would gladly offer to pay for a cleaning person to come over 5 days a week on days when I'm home, but I know she would refuse to hire one because of reasons related to her past.

Reasons related to� butter activities?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 19:53

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Shanghaied posted:

Heh

I like to imagine that all aita posters are real and cross over, in some sort of posting cinematic universe

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 19:54

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

New perfume?

quote:

Original post
New Perfume?

So, my husband and I have been married for 5 months now. I (25F) have been noticing weird changes in his (27M) behavior, and this certain instance is nagging me.
The other day after he got home from work, he smelled like perfume. My husband wears the same cologne, has since I�ve known him at least.

It would be just odd, but it�s been a couple days this week that it�s happened. He smells like vanilla.
When I asked him about it, he said he got off a bit early and wanted to surprise me with some self care and beauty stuff. He says he went to the mall and the lady helped him smell some perfumes and lotions to give me. Maybe bath & body works? Idk.

But if that were true, he would smell like a couple scents mixed right? not just vanilla? It�s not a week long thing to pick a perfume.

Well today, after he got off work, he gave me a gift basket. it had melon scented lotion, a new loofah, hair ties, some snacks and�
vanilla perfume.
Am I being crazy?

To note, I don�t wear perfume often. When I do, it�s normally a light floral scent or lavender. Nothing sweet or heavy like vanilla.
What should my next step be?

Update (3 days later)
okay. wow. i�ve had a lot of people pming me for an update. i would�ve preferred to wait but i guess it doesn�t matter.

my life is a mess now. i�m distraught and have been crying endlessly for the past 3 days.
i�ll try to sum it up: there�s no other woman. there�s another man. i guess my husband has been living in the closet for years. he�s not gay, but he is bisexual. he said he missed out on getting to experiment. he used the perfume as a cover up so at the very least i�d think it was a woman.

we�re divorcing. my best friend of so many years. lost. he put me in danger by having unprotected sex with men. it wasn�t just one. it�s been tens of them for years.

i guess his current fwb gave him the perfume idea? but that�s what led to him getting caught.
i did do a panel test for stds but won�t know my results for a bit. if it�s positive, that explains the itching.
i want to be there for him and support him but right now i need space. he�s with his mom right now. she doesn�t know anything. i would never out my husband.

he says he isn�t gay but does prefer men. i�m torn and indescribably sad.
so there it is reddit, the update.

No honey calm down I�m just raw dogging other women, not men

What was the though process on that one

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 22:05

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Warning references to but not direct descriptions of really bad stuff

My (20m) gf (20f) keeps calling me a nickname she knows makes me uncomfortable, what do I do to get her to stop?

quote:

So of your not familiar there's a show on YouTube I think, called hazbin hotel I haven't watched it but my gf is obsessed with it

From my understanding it's about a hotel in hell run by a angel who's trying to get people to repent for there sins
Again I'm very unfamiliar with the show, and I only seen tiktoks of it and what my gf showed me
But there's a spider dude named angel dust that's a prostitute and a addict I think

She's convinced I look like him so anytime she refers to me to her friends (who are also obsessed with the show) she refers to me as angel dust and they refer to there bfs as other people from the show

Now it wouldn't be that bad and make me that uncomfortable but from 16-18 I was addicted to coke and from 6-10 I was basically sex trafficked

I've talked to her about why it makes me uncomfortable and her response is always basically
"it's not because of that it's because you look like him" or "it's a joke your being full of yourself"
This is not something I'm willing to break up with her over but I can't stress how uncomfortable it makes me, all there bfs think it's innocent so I kinda feel like I'm overeating

TL;DR my gf keeps calling me angel dust and it's making me uncomfortable
so update

i got home like 3 hours ago and we got into a huge argument because she refused to tell me why she was calling me that and i kept making assumptions on why she was calling me that
anyways i basically told her to just text me when she was ready to talk and i was going to drive
so i drive to a park and was just walking and after like 10 minutes she texted me
and basically what happened was shes in a girls movie club and they were all at this one girls house watching the show when one of the girl joked about wanting to date a dude from the show

One of the other girls joked about how she kind of was because her bf acted like a "nice" version of the dude in the show

So basically one thing led to another and they all agreed to play a prank on there bfs my gf included that they'd just call there bfs there show crushes names till they finished the show
She said that it had nothing to do with us acting the same it was just because she had a crush on him

Also to note i wasn't doing a good job at explaining why it hurt me looking back at it so that was my fault
So yeah now my gf is embarrassed and i feel bad because i yelled at her and made her cry but now were on good terms

Also to the people saying i was ignoring other problems i promises you i wasn't this was on of our only problems in the past 3 years

TL:DR to the update my gf has a crush on a cartoon spider

My brother in christ this is not her only problem

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 22:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

DeeplyConcerned posted:

so what you're trying to say is that you are going to gather a bunch of like-minded supporters, head down to Washington DC and stage a protest with your " legalize incest" signs ?

Not a lot of Rick and Morty fans itt

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 22:54

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Brain Curry posted:

Sucking queso off each other�s fingers

Before I can decide who is the rear end in a top hat is it New Mexico or Arizona queso?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 23:05

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Arsenic Lupin posted:

It seems tacky and has weird aristocratic vibes that just don't seem right to me. I told him that I am not totally against the idea, but I don't want to just agree to it right now because I want time to think about other names too.

Huh yeah all things I agree with her on, maybe she should have considered those before making the agreement with her husband!

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 23:47

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Stealing this from someone who responded to food kink couple�s post but this is their vibe lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF7wGZ7fmJ0

Brain Curry posted:

Old el paso queso

Not narrowing it down

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 23:56

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLvpLbQwAM4

Lmao this whole scene is amazing

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 01:35

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Even the show makes a pretty clear point about what that character has gone through is pretty horrible and not funny, with obvious trauma resulting from it.

All I can really say from watching the show was that it was okay but kinda cringe tumblr theatre kid esque and seems perfectly engineered to inspire a lot of incredibly weird/horny people to have strong feelings about it that will become extremely funny posts

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 01:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Brain Curry posted:

New York City style https://youtu.be/Gi6AFz2fbr8

I�m imagining this is the Glanton gang

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 01:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 21, 2024 11:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

R/relationships: it's possible that she's been spending too much time in online fandoms

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 02:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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