|
Wasabi the J posted:Suck ONE dick... Passionately defend ONE pedophile dress-up sim...
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 06:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 08:24 |
|
|
Kavak posted:Passionately defend ONE pedophile dress-up sim... Wait what the gently caress?
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 07:49
|
|
|
Wasabi the J posted:Wait what the gently caress? Fire- he posted a thread whining about the site's review of Princess Maker 2 in 2003. And then he went and had a long posting career calling everyone else evil bougie scum. This has nothing to do with anything except that watching GD American own him over that 10 years later was funny. Kavak fucked around with this message at 08:17 on Feb 10, 2014 |
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 08:15
|
|
|
Kavak posted:Fire- he posted a thread whining about the site's review of Princess Maker 2 in 2003. And then he went and had a long posting career calling everyone else evil bougie scum. This has nothing to do with anything except that watching GD American own him over that 10 years later was funny.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 08:20
|
|
|
Kavak posted:Fire- he posted a thread whining about the site's review of Princess Maker 2 in 2003. And then he went and had a long posting career calling everyone else evil bougie scum. This has nothing to do with anything except that watching GD American own him over that 10 years later was funny. Haha, this retard believed me and got all outraged when I suggested that my battalion commander kept an Afghan boy as a pet. I tried finding the thread but no luck.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 09:51
|
|
|
Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:her dad is also a federal judge iirc County judge in Texas. He was suspended with pay for a year and reinstated with a 'public warning.' He's running for reelection this year.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 14:24
|
|
|
Victor Vermis posted:Haha, this retard believed me and got all outraged when I suggested that my battalion commander kept an Afghan boy as a pet. Hahaha. I would like to read this when you find it. I have a special place in my gut (or whatever body part is reserved for hate) for IRR career soldiers. Had some gently caress up E7 in charge of me a few years back. Asked what he did before he got in and he said "Oh, Im a stocker at the lumber yard at Lowes." Manager? Nope! Been there 8 years too. I did like him because he really didnt know anything about the goddamn Army. "Hey Soulex, can you mop these floors?" "Sorry Sarge, Im really busy trying to formulate a working excel spreadsheet that will cut down production and extend hours needed to work." (I was playing an excel version of Battleship). Or "Sargent, one of my favorite celebrities died, I think I need to go home for a little bit."
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 14:34
|
|
|
Soulex posted:I did like him because he really didnt know anything about the goddamn Army. "Hey Soulex, can you mop these floors?" I like how "knowing anything about the goddamn Army" is knowing who to tell to mop. Sounds about right.
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 14:40
|
|
|
Or asking. You're a goddamn NCO, Im (was) a Specialist. Don't give me an option. I will lawyer you. We had one guy go loving MENTAL when he was told to mop the TOC. It was actually my first post on the forums. In a nutshell, I was a late deployer. When we started the whole color casing BS I was designated as the reserve color guard. So my job was hide until one the color guard falls out. Easy money right? Well, I ended up coming down with an accelerated case of appendicitis and had to have emergency surgery about 30 minutes before the ceremony. Everyone thought I was faking until the next morning when the 1SG took donations to get me flowers. Why loving flowers... Anyways, I met one of these soldiers on rear D as I was recovering (the rear D 1sg tried to ship me out the day after I came off of con leave) named Anderson. This dude was a weird man. Not like masterbates with peanut butter or is a brony but like "Im a loving serial killer" weird. Anyways he finally gets sent out and I follow a few weeks later when Im ok. I eventually find out he is working the same shift I am and decide to go see how things were going. I could tell that he was different. Angrier, snappy and the like. So I only went into the TOC when I had to. One night, I went in to give a report to my NCO when I hear yelling. I open the door and see Anderson, a skeeter wings Shove a mop back at an MSG and proclaim "Im a goddamn soldier, not a loving janitor!" This gathered the officers and some of the other NCOs to surround him trying to get him to calm down. What he did instead was grabbed a rifle out of one of the racks and flagged everyone in the TOC screaming all types of obscenities. The rifle wasn't loaded mind you, but this didn't stop everyone from dog piling him. Somehow he got free and ran outside. He stripped down to his underwear as he went and started to roll around on the ground shouting "gently caress this!" Over and over again. I said "he's covered in invisible flames! Someone put out my friend!" Which got me a lot of negative looks. The medics came by and took him somewhere in restraints. I saw him 2 days later at the Dfac with an armed guard. I asked him what the gently caress. He told me his girlfriend said if hes not back in a month she is breaking up with him. This girl is also 16, and is someone in the unit's daughter (I dont know who). He got back alright, she still dumped him, and he got a other than honorable discharge. All deployment long were stories about the incident to people that filtered in. "Hey, did you know we had Ricky Bobby in our unit?"
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 14:58
|
|
|
Soulex posted:...Shove a mop back at an MSG and proclaim "Im a goddamn soldier, not a loving janitor!" This guy's warrior spirit really resonates with me. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 10, 2014 15:13
|
|
|
Was he, by any chance, a washed-out corrections guy? I went to basic with an Anderson that I totally could see doing all that.
|
|
#
?
Feb 11, 2014 17:37
|
|
|
I dont think so, he was around 19 and a 42A if I recall correctly. Its been years.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2014 00:12
|
|
|
Soulex posted:This dude was a weird man. Not like masterbates with peanut butter Is that a real thing? Dude I posted about a long time ago was known to open the door on Saturday nights wrapped in a blanket with a strong odor of peanut butter in the room.
|
|
#
?
Apr 14, 2014 18:37
|
|
|
Did he have a dog?
|
|
#
?
Apr 14, 2014 20:49
|
|
|
Dogs weren't allowed since it was the dorms but I don't recall anything against keeping a little asian boy in the wall locker.
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2014 03:18
|
|
|
Guy in my Unit, whom I also went to high school with, just got picked up on Child Abuse charges. He's also trying to claim PTSD despite never going on a combat deployment. http://wnep.com/2014/04/24/two-men-charged-with-new-child-abuse-law/ 2 Years ago we had a guy in our unit for one drill before he was arrested for Child Porn. http://www.delcotimes.com/general-news/20120406/middletown-teenager-faces-child-pornography-charges We grow em good here in PA.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2014 16:35
|
|
|
A new guy in my old ship had a list of screw ups... He took a CRT to the trash can by the pier. CRT's are implosive devices that can shoot phosphor all over your body. The neck of the screen broke while he was ferrying it down to the trash, and the entire back of his neck was coated in phosphor burns. I told him to take it to the HAZMAT locker...
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2014 15:35
|
|
|
Demonlord posted:Guy in my Unit, whom I also went to high school with, just got picked up on Child Abuse charges. He's also trying to claim PTSD despite never going on a combat deployment. My old 1SG was on the Sex Offender's Website (deviant sexual acts with a minor). PAANG is ok with it apparently.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2014 19:40
|
|
|
bulletsponge13 posted:My old 1SG was on the Sex Offender's Website (deviant sexual acts with a minor). PAANG is ok with it apparently. Our company currently has a guy in jail for armed robbery, and Bravo's got a guy in jail for shaking an infant. PAARNG is like a loving breeding ground for criminals.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2014 20:05
|
|
|
Nah that's the whole military. In Korea they told us if you and the chick you bang were both drunk when you wake up the next morning if you think she will say rape just get to the cops before she can and make her the rapist.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2014 20:14
|
|
|
Cole posted:Nah that's the whole military. truth right there
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2014 19:39
|
|
|
Demonlord posted:PAARNG is like a loving breeding ground for criminals. I think that's where the fake rape accuser went.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2014 19:42
|
|
|
Had a SSgt (USMC) ask a PFC, in Iraq, near Fallujah in 2006, to cut open a pillowcase on the side of the highway with his K-Bar. Not only did the PFC agree to do it.. he started climbing out of the truck, much to the very vocal dismay of the SSgt we were relieving at the time. This same SSgt also did a promotion ceremony in the middle of the highway outside of the city. He was also prone to randomly stopping the patrol, dismounting with nothing more than his 9mm and walking 100 or so yards out into the fields to stare at the villages/reeds/who knows what.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2014 18:17
|
|
|
Semper Retardus 
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 00:07
|
|
|
Godholio posted:I think that's where Major fake rape accuser went. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 00:09
|
|
|
I don't remember if I told this story before but it's about my very special class leader from technical school. This dude had been in the Army but got out to get a job in the civilian world making a lot more money but fast forward 20 years and I guess he doesn't have a retirement plan so he wants to finish out his last few years in the military to have something in place. I don't know why he chose the Air Force but when he went to the recruiter he told them he wanted to be security forces so I guess he could kind of pretend to be Army again. Well security forces happened to be full that cycle and this is where things started to get interesting. The recruiter offers him a job "that's just like security forces!" That job? Cardiopulmonary technician. So he gets told the job title and has a contract slid across the desk to him and what does he do? Signs that poo poo and boogies on home. Motherfucker spent 4 months sitting on his couch not even giving this poo poo a second thought until he shows up for the first day of class. Dude is blown the gently caress away when he realizes what he's going to be doing, like right off the bat he started complaining about how he doesn't like blood and how he feels uncomfortable around topless people and that's like 80% of our job. I could go on about how some old as poo poo Army dude wasn't the best qualified to lead a bunch of Air Force medical pipeline students or how he kept sexually harassing any and every teenage girl he could even though the had daughters only slightly older but it still blows my mind someone would sign a contract for a job they knew nothing about and did zero research for before showing up. Cenen fucked around with this message at 09:31 on Apr 29, 2014 |
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 09:28
|
|
|
Cenen posted:but it still blows my mind someone would sign a contract for a job they knew nothing about and did zero research for before showing up. It really shouldn't surprise you at all.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 14:34
|
|
|
vulturesrow posted:It really shouldn't surprise you at all. I had a friend who must have met the best recruiter in the universe. After seeing my buddy's application to become infantry, combat engineer, or military police, the recruiter asked if he knew what MPs did. My friend thought they were some sort of HRT/CP types and said so. The recruiter said something to the extent of 'it sounds like you want a real army don't join the MP retards' now he sometimes blows stuff up for a living.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 15:16
|
|
|
I figure I should share a story my dad told me about idiot contractors. Not sure If I've told it on here before, but since he just told it again the other night when we were talking to him, I'll go ahead and tell it again because it's a good story. When my dad first made E-8 they moved him out of the Army Space Program Office and to a DISA project clearing the handing over of training assets like flight simulators and MILES gear to US allies. In all it was a pretty sweet gig because he'd get to fly all over the world and chill out for a few weeks in places like Belgium, Italy, and Australia while making sure what had been handed over by US contractors was satisfactory from both an operational and security standpoint. It's probably the main reason he was hired by a 3-letter within 48 hours of retiring from the Army. He ended up making friends with a bunch of Australian helicopter pilots due to his frequent trips to their base when they were getting upgraded Kiowa simulators. The contractor for the sims was one my dad hated working with though, because they half-assed every thing they touched, meaning he'd spend months sending them notes CC'd to DISA's chief which always led to a poo poo storm that was worse for him than the people who weren't doing their jobs. The Kiowa sims started off really lovely though, because the company making them just directly imported the software for USMC Mid 80's AH-1 Cobra simulators and just made it work in a faux Kiowa cockpit. Which really didn't work for a lot of reasons. 1) Australia didn't really need to train pilots in 1994 on the proper way to close the Fulda Gap and 2) the Kiowa and the Cobra don't handle anywhere near the same So they (contractors)go in and after months of arguing with both DISA and the Australian pilots that a simulator that doesn't simulate the right thing is worthless finally make some of the needed updates. They fixed the handling characteristics (by hiring two engineers from Bell who designed the sim the US Army uses) and changing Central Germany to Australia by making the ground brown instead of green and throwing Ayers Rock where some of the German Alps had been. And just to be cute, they replaced random Soviet soldiers that would flee when they spotted the helicopter to Kangaroos just as an added "gently caress you, here's some added realism" poo poo. The Australian pilots are pretty happy with the changes and spend the first few minutes flying from one side of their base to the other, attempting loops and all other manner of loving around. Then the Aussie lead pilot decides to fly out to Ayers Rock since one of the contractors had mentioned it. As he's flying out to it, he see's some movement on the ground and changes course to check it out. His copilot confirms its a pack of kangaroos so dude figures "gently caress it, lets buzz some kangaroos" He drops down to 10 feet above the ground and flies over them as fast as he can while the Kangaroos scatter. Then as he pulls up, he realizes he has lost control of his tail rotor and his panels are lighting up like a Christmas tree. Dude tries to put it down gentle, but then gets informed he's been hit by heavy machine gun fire and the sim freezes. Everyone is dumbfounded by this. Then one of the sim techs has a revelation, they had been shot down by the Kangaroos. After they buzzed them, one of the kangaroos fled to cover, then fired a shoulder launched SAM at them, hitting the tail rotor, while he tried to recover, some other kangaroos set up a 13.7mm gun and shot him up. Because the coders had only changed the graphics of the Soviet soldiers to Kangaroos and nothing else, meaning they still had a full platoon's worth of Soviet anti-helicopter weapons. So if anything, it proved that everything in the Australian outback is designed to gently caress poo poo up.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 16:23
|
|
|
That's awesome. Some more from my end of things: We were out at CAX in 29 Palms as part of the work up to our second deployment over to Iraq. It was an incredibly lovely training evolution as most of the stuff being taught (that we actually got to attend) was stuff we already knew like the backs of our hands from direct experience or the unit we had been attached to didn't actually make space for us so we got to sit in Camp Wilson for 42 days. All we had were the convoy sims and anything we could teach on our own to occupy our boots. As the end of the training cycle approached 3/1 (1/3, someshit, I can't remember who they were to be honest) graciously informs us that we've been slotted into the crowd control portion of training at one of the mock villages spread out around the base. After a quick class on ROE's and EOF procedures to refresh the new kids we mount up and head out to the village to secure the intersection in question. We hadn't been there 10 minutes when the "mob" appeared about 3 blocks away. With security set we began our EOF's, the shout/flag/wave/present/warning shot style of EOF we used was what we had been directed to use in 2006 (it was 2007) and if there had been a change, we had not been informed of it. To try and keep this short; As the crowd approached and refused to heed the initial non-lethal forms of EOF one of our gunners was told to fire off a warning shot from his 240 (Yes, I know, but let me explain). You see, the unit we were attached to didn't think us worthy enough for enough blanks or even blanks of the right caliber for us all to use, so all we got was 200 rounds of 240 linked blanks which we split amongst the gunners, 50 a piece. So this gunner takes his 240 off the pintle, lifts it up onto his shoulder with the muzzle pointing straight up and fires off a 4-5 round burst. Three roleplayers in the crowd fall over dead. We laugh, literally, looking up at the gunner while everyone randomly says 'what the gently caress?' Well the crowd is still advancing so we tell the next gunner, same deal, warning shots. He lifts his 240 up to his shoulder and fires off a burst straight up like the first guy. This time another 2 or 3 drop down dead in the crowd. So at that point, knowing the roleplayers don't give a gently caress or have been instructed to die to teach us a lesson or something, the command is given for everyone to open fire and we proceed to shout bang bang bang while the gunners burn up what little blank ammo they had. While we're sitting there quietly laughing to ourselves and shaking our heads at the absolutely ridiculous poo poo we've had to endure over the last month, the battalion commander of the unit hosting us randomly appears out of a cloud of dust and begins to berate us for being complte sacks of poo poo who aren't even fit to stand guard over a porta shitter. He then goes on to show us the proper way to placate and angry mob when presented with such. I can't make this up. He gets down on a knee in front of us and tells us that we need to show the mob that we mean no threat by releasing our rifles to let them hang on their slings, holding our arms out to our sides with our palms up and then finishes it off by putting his had down to express some kind of poo poo-tastic emotion who's proper name or definition eludes me right now. It blew my loving mind. He wrote our battalion commander to tell him that we were unfit to deploy and should be kept CONUS and replaced with another platoon from the company. He then wrote us on the BluFor trackers when our unit code popped up asking how the hell we had made it into the country after he sent his message. Luckily the guy who received the message had a bit of maturity and didn't reply back.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2014 20:17
|
|
|
Cenen posted:I don't remember if I told this story before but it's about my very special class leader from technical school. I knew a guy in tech school who failed out of pj school. He was given a choice of jobs to reclass to. He chose radio because he was told he got to use cool things like oscilloscopes. He thought an oscilloscope was a ray gun.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2014 01:25
|
|
|
grovers cousin?
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2014 04:41
|
|
|
A few years back a guy in my squadron went out drinking and got a ride back to base by the weekend drunk bus. After getting dropped off at his dorm around midnight or so, he proceeded to hop in his car and drive to the shopette to hit up the Red Box. He got pulled over on the way because he rolled a stop sign and subsequently busted for DUI. What was worse was it was maybe a 1/4 mile walk. This same guy proceeded to get court martialed and kicked out nearly a year later for stealing a 40 dollar phone base from the BX. They were going to give him an Art 15 and leave it at that but he thought he knew better.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2014 21:45
|
|
|
Last year there was a FOD damaged engine in the engine shop so they took a camera and documented it like you're apparently supposed to do. The camera was left out and some genius decided to take a picture of his nutsack with it, which the AMX commander saw when he was looking through the camera. EDIT: Oh and swastika-cat guy is who I heard it from.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2014 22:43
|
|
|
Casimir Radon posted:Last year there was a FOD damaged engine in the engine shop so they took a camera and documented it like you're apparently supposed to do. The camera was left out and some genius decided to take a picture of his nutsack with it, which the AMX commander saw when he was looking through the camera. I laughed at that one. He can't be a total idiot I'd he didn't get caught Someone did that to my digital camera once in barracks, and followed it up a few pictures of some freaky porn .jpegs. I didn't notice until I had transferred all the files to my parent's computer and was going through the a slideshow of some parade with my mom  e. Also holy poo poo that kangaroo story is awesome 
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2014 23:33
|
|
|
I think I first heard that kangaroo story in a comp sci class back in the mid ' 90s, except it was beach balls, not actual weaponry the Roos fired at the helicopter. Edit: yep. Must have heard it after university, memory is a funny thing. http://www.snopes.com/humor/nonsense/kangaroo.asp
|
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2014 23:48
|
|
|
Smiling Jack posted:I think I first heard that kangaroo story in a comp sci class back in the mid ' 90s, except it was beach balls, not actual weaponry the Roos fired at the helicopter.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2014 00:31
|
|
|
Guest2553 posted:I laughed at that one. He can't be a total idiot I'd he didn't get caught Someone did that to my digital camera once in barracks, and followed it up a few pictures of some freaky porn .jpegs. I didn't notice until I had transferred all the files to my parent's computer and was going through the a slideshow of some parade with my mom
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2014 00:34
|
|
|
Casimir Radon posted:Last year there was a FOD damaged engine in the engine shop so they took a camera and documented it like you're apparently supposed to do. The camera was left out and some genius decided to take a picture of his nutsack with it, which the AMX commander saw when he was looking through the camera. Back when the iPhones first came out we had a kid who went out and grabbed one. He was one of the first guys in our platoon to get one and used to always let us play with it.. Until he got it back and his home and lock screen savers had been changed to a picture of someone doing the goat. The sad thing was that he didn't know how to work the phone all that well yet and those pictures stayed up as his home and lock screen for about a week before we relented and told him how to change them.
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2014 14:35
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 08:24 |
|
|
LCL-Dead posted:Back when the iPhones first came out we had a kid who went out and grabbed one. He was one of the first guys in our platoon to get one and used to always let us play with it.. Until he got it back and his home and lock screen savers had been changed to a picture of someone doing the goat. How loving stupid do you have to be to not figure out how to change backgrounds? This is some meta-idiot story stuff.
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2014 15:38
|
|
