Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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raruler: Oct 5, 2003; “Here lies a toppled god —
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.”

pram posted:

mate yr cruisin for a bruisin

would you say he is fronting on you?

# ? Jul 24, 2014 21:08

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:43

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

microsoft titanic status: criticizing the door mats

# ? Jul 24, 2014 21:09

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Sniep posted:

prams posting is on a level that is so far beyond your comprehension that your ridiculous analogy only highlights your own ineptitude

# ? Jul 24, 2014 21:31

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

I was jus tugn ya pubes jeez

# ? Jul 24, 2014 21:33

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

is that a thing u yanks do? pull on each other's pubes as a form of comradely

# ? Jul 24, 2014 21:34

Space-Pope: Aug 13, 2003; by zen death robot

echinopsis posted:

is that a thing u yanks do? pull on each other's pubes as a form of comradely

nah but sometimes well put glue on ur face, shave our own pubes, and then sprinkle them on the glue on ur face

also putting our balls and/or dick on or inside ur face

# ? Jul 24, 2014 22:05

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

qirex posted:

rename this thread to Microsoft is Bad Enterprise Edition and the other one to Microsoft is Bad Home Premium

# ? Jul 24, 2014 22:07

eric: Apr 27, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

The other thread is not authentic and YOSPOS may be a victim of counterfeiting.

# ? Jul 24, 2014 23:00

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Space-Pope posted:

nah but sometimes well put glue on ur face, shave our own pubes, and then sprinkle them on the glue on ur face

also putting our balls and/or dick on or inside ur face

i dip my balls in ink first

give ya the old inky teabag

# ? Jul 24, 2014 23:11

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

Siljmonster posted:

i dip my balls in ink first

give ya the old inky teabag

DOMINIC YOU RAT!

# ? Jul 24, 2014 23:15

univbee: Jun 3, 2004

eric posted:

The other thread is not authentic and YOSPOS may be a victim of counterfeiting.

-phones support hotline, waits 2 minutes while voice drones on in english and french, enters 54 random numbers, answers '0' to "how many other forums have you posted this thread in?" waits for "verified!" voice to chime in, clicks back and "i want to activate by internet", hangs up-

thursday afternoon cj'ing, motherfuckers

# ? Jul 24, 2014 23:16

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Base Emitter posted:

gonna lol when some data center falls over and catches fire when some obscure v-dash nobody knew about takes his finger out of the dike for his six month furlough.

already happening.

# ? Jul 24, 2014 23:17

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

DOMINIC YOU RAT!

lol

# ? Jul 24, 2014 23:58

Alzabo: Oct 23, 2002; You watched it, you can't unwatch it.

duTrieux. posted:

already happening.

This is but a single cause in the "reasons MS hosed up" list.

Being a v- could be pretty sweet depending on several factors. 100k salary via your agency and no real responsibility to deliver because you are a vendor. . .

[edit] plus a statement of work for the v- position means the money train goes on and on for years.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:04

Phoenixan: Jan 16, 2010; Just Keep Cool-idge

univbee posted:

-phones support hotline, waits 2 minutes while voice drones on in english and french, enters 54 random numbers, answers '0' to "how many other forums have you posted this thread in?" waits for "verified!" voice to chime in, clicks back and "i want to activate by internet", hangs up-

thursday afternoon cj'ing, motherfuckers

the yospos genuine advantage

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:08

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Alzabo posted:

This is but a single cause in the "reasons MS hosed up" list.

Being a v- could be pretty sweet depending on several factors. 100k salary via your agency and no real responsibility to deliver because you are a vendor. . .

[edit] plus a statement of work for the v- position means the money train goes on and on for years.

no the really sweet gig is supplying contractors to MS, billing them at $100/hour and giving the employees 50

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:10

LentThem: Aug 31, 2004; 90% Retractible

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/07/24/david_sacks_leaves_microsoft posted:

David Sacks, cofounder and former CEO of Yammer, has left his position at Microsoft after having steered the enterprise social networking service for nearly six years.
...
Sacks gave no reason for his departure on Thursday, choosing merely to tweet his thanks to the Yammer team, both at Microsoft and before.

Sacks got Sacked

i wonder how many other yammer people got axed

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:10

cremnob: Jun 30, 2010

I�ve fallen, and I can�t get up

I�ve been using a Windows Phone since Windows Phone 7 shipped, and for many years before that (with the exception on 1 year on the iPhone 3GS) I used Windows Mobile. Indeed my history with Microsoft�s mobile offerings goes back to the original Handheld PC followed by a number of Pocket PCs. So for the last few years, with the occasional complaint , I�ve worked around Windows Phone�s so-called App Gap. It hasn�t been pleasant. And now I have hit an app requirement that doesn�t appear to have a workaround. One that might drive me to Android, if not back to an iPhone.

There is no Windows Phone application for the Honeywell Total Connect 2.0 security system. There is one for the iPhone, Android, and (get this) Blackberry. The website requires Apple QuickTime, so that isn�t an answer. In fact if you go to the website with WP8.1 it thinks you are on a Blackberry and tells you to download the Blackberry app!

There is a third party app. Many users report trouble getting it to work, and even those who rate it highly say it has very limited function. Basically you can arm or disarm. But that isn�t the only reason I need to access my system, so the app (even if it works) is inadequate. Further, it costs $2.99 and there is no trial. Ordinarily I wouldn�t have bothered downloading it, but I wanted to see for myself. So now I�m down $2.99. The app works, but won�t do what I need. So I�m S O L.

Of course moving off Windows Phone would bring other benefits, like being able to control my SONOS (another case of inadequate third-party apps not really filling the gap) or sync my Fitbit without using my wife�s iPhone. Or actually get a smartwatch. Or run a dozen or more other apps where I�ve resigned myself to struggling with a website for the last few years.

Of course some of these things are coming to Windows Phone. Eventually. Maybe. I mean, Uber finally made it this week. Finally. Are the other things imminent? Who knows. They could appear next month, or I could get someone pregnant and see my child graduate high school first. Someone said that to me recently and I thought they were joking, now I�m not so sure.

So I�ve finally fallen into the app gap. And as long as I stay on Windows Phone it seems I can�t get up. I�m done fighting, tomorrow I�ll probably get a Samsung Galaxy S 5. Lemming seems like a fine label to wear right now.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:12

Alzabo: Oct 23, 2002; You watched it, you can't unwatch it.

qirex posted:

no the really sweet gig is supplying contractors to MS, billing them at $100/hour and giving the employees 50

truth

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:15

FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

why does ms employ so many contractors? is this some weird 80s cultural holdover thing.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:15

pram: Jun 10, 2001

so they dont have to pay any benefits / insurance / can eliminate them easily / grind the proles into blood in the gears of commerce/ the chain of industry must be pulled taut

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:17

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

pram posted:

so they dont have to pay any benefits / insurance / can eliminate them easily / grind the proles into blood in the gears of commerce/ the chain of industry must be pulled taut

dont forget to collect on life insurance

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:15

eric: Apr 27, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

cremnob posted:

So I�ve finally fallen into the app gap. And as long as I stay on Windows Phone it seems I can�t get up. I�m done fighting, tomorrow I�ll probably get a Samsung Galaxy S 5. Lemming seems like a fine label to wear right now.

Out of the frying pan in to the fire. Anything but crapple.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:19

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

cremnob posted:

I�ve fallen, and I can�t get up

I�ve been using a Windows Phone since Windows Phone 7 shipped, and for many years before that (with the exception on 1 year on the iPhone 3GS) I used Windows Mobile. Indeed my history with Microsoft�s mobile offerings goes back to the original Handheld PC followed by a number of Pocket PCs. So for the last few years, with the occasional complaint , I�ve worked around Windows Phone�s so-called App Gap. It hasn�t been pleasant. And now I have hit an app requirement that doesn�t appear to have a workaround. One that might drive me to Android, if not back to an iPhone.

There is no Windows Phone application for the Honeywell Total Connect 2.0 security system. There is one for the iPhone, Android, and (get this) Blackberry. The website requires Apple QuickTime, so that isn�t an answer. In fact if you go to the website with WP8.1 it thinks you are on a Blackberry and tells you to download the Blackberry app!

There is a third party app. Many users report trouble getting it to work, and even those who rate it highly say it has very limited function. Basically you can arm or disarm. But that isn�t the only reason I need to access my system, so the app (even if it works) is inadequate. Further, it costs $2.99 and there is no trial. Ordinarily I wouldn�t have bothered downloading it, but I wanted to see for myself. So now I�m down $2.99. The app works, but won�t do what I need. So I�m S O L.

Of course moving off Windows Phone would bring other benefits, like being able to control my SONOS (another case of inadequate third-party apps not really filling the gap) or sync my Fitbit without using my wife�s iPhone. Or actually get a smartwatch. Or run a dozen or more other apps where I�ve resigned myself to struggling with a website for the last few years.

Of course some of these things are coming to Windows Phone. Eventually. Maybe. I mean, Uber finally made it this week. Finally. Are the other things imminent? Who knows. They could appear next month, or I could get someone pregnant and see my child graduate high school first. Someone said that to me recently and I thought they were joking, now I�m not so sure.

So I�ve finally fallen into the app gap. And as long as I stay on Windows Phone it seems I can�t get up. I�m done fighting, tomorrow I�ll probably get a Samsung Galaxy S 5. Lemming seems like a fine label to wear right now.

yyyyyeh

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:39

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

microsoft is insane not to have had a standing program where they would 100% fund the development of windows phone apps for any/all gadgets, accessories, services, whatever

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:59

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

duTrieux. posted:

microsoft is insane not to have had a standing program where they would 100% fund the development of windows phone apps for any/all gadgets, accessories, services, whatever

how many apps could they have funded with the money they spent on that ad where a guy drops his phone in a urinal

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:04

Elder Postsman: Aug 30, 2000; i used hot bot to search for "teens"

Breakfast All Day posted:

jeff sessions is the junior senator from alabama and one of the worst human beings alive, hth

like he's not just a politician i disagree with the dude would repeal the 13th amendment if he could

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:10

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

it would be cheap too. have a few engineers and a pm dedicated to working with third-parties on basic control apps. 3p kicks over api/whatever and some visual assets, microsoft pays for all labor costs

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:11

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

duTrieux. posted:

it would be cheap too. have a few engineers and a pm dedicated to working with third-parties on basic control apps. 3p kicks over api/whatever and some visual assets, microsoft pays for all labor costs

the problem is that 3rd parties don't want to support windows phone. they just don't want the hassle.

for a while wasn't microsoft publishing un-licensed apps for 3rd party services w/ 3rd party trademarks?

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:13

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

the problem is that 3rd parties don't want to support windows phone. they just don't want the hassle.

for a while wasn't microsoft publishing un-licensed apps for 3rd party services w/ 3rd party trademarks?

okay, how about microsoft just pays to use the android version of the control app so their coders can put something together and support it themselves.

this is a situation that could have been fixed with judicious application of large amounts of money and they didn't do it

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:24

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

qirex posted:

how many apps could they have funded with the money they spent on that ad where a guy drops his phone in a urinal

how much was the coordinated dub step dancing and the pop-up slides ?

over 500mil iirc

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:39

Base Emitter: Apr 1, 2012; ?

FamDav posted:

why does ms employ so many contractors? is this some weird 80s cultural holdover thing.

overhire, misallocate, management tries to fix problem by constraining head count, teams hire contractors instead

# ? Jul 25, 2014 06:01

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

FamDav posted:

why does ms employ so many contractors? is this some weird 80s cultural holdover thing.

only way to get anything done the rest are microsoft employees op

# ? Jul 25, 2014 06:06

pseudorandom name: May 6, 2007

duTrieux. posted:

okay, how about microsoft just pays to use the android version of the control app so their coders can put something together and support it themselves.

this is a situation that could have been fixed with judicious application of large amounts of money and they didn't do it

because then the windows phone version will be out of the developers control and lag behind the real versions, and devs don't want that either

# ? Jul 25, 2014 16:45

buttcrackmenace: Nov 14, 2007; see its right there in the manual where it says; Grimey Drawer

graph posted:

how much was the coordinated dub step dancing and the pop-up slides ?

over 500mil iirc

the sound of clicking

# ? Jul 25, 2014 21:48

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

duTrieux. posted:

okay, how about microsoft just pays to use the android version of the control app so their coders can put something together and support it themselves.

no matter what microsoft does, third parties don't want the support hassle. if the microsoft version of the app sucks, that fucks up your brand, not microsoft's.

if the microsoft version has a bug, people will report that to you, not to microsoft

etc etc

# ? Jul 27, 2014 20:11

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

that said i went googling for a major-brand that didn't have a windows phone app and there are not many left. facebook, twitter, foursquare, spotify etc all support WP to some extent

comments on tech blogs from deluded wp users mostly complained about niche stuff: individual banks, fast food chain rewards thingies, bus/train schedules

judging from those complaints it would be my guess wp passed the "we have 90% of what you want" mark a long time ago, despite its near-0 market share. no app maker wants to miss The Next Big Thing, even if it's a long shot

congratulations, microsoft, on coasting into a not-last-place finish.

# ? Jul 27, 2014 20:13

pram: Jun 10, 2001

remember when they hosed all early winpho adopters by making 7 and 8 completely different lol

# ? Jul 27, 2014 20:18

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

it's all those niche apps that actually matter in my experience though. stuff like controlling your security system, wireless speakers, depositing checks in your bank, etc

# ? Jul 27, 2014 20:23

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:43

distortion park: Apr 25, 2011

pram posted:

remember when they hosed all early winpho adopters by making 7 and 8 completely different lol

i remember this very much. i still like my winpho 8 though! even if it is a piece of poo poo htc

# ? Jul 27, 2014 20:37

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