PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

«‹›489 »

Stottie Kyek: Apr 26, 2008; fuckin egg in a bun

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 14:20

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Seen this one a million times, can never get over how disgusting it is.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:22

The_White_Crane: May 10, 2008

... Is that pre-cooked bacon?
Is that a thing in America?

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:38

Islam is the Lite Rock FM: Jul 27, 2007; by exmarx

The_White_Crane posted:

... Is that pre-cooked bacon?
Is that a thing in America?

gently caress no. Bacon cinnamon roll looks like a great way to shove uncooked bacon in your mouth.

Can't imagine that cooks properly without burning the cinnamon roll.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:44

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Some of those 'hacks' are full-on moronic. Dump a load of cooked mince in a bag of Doritos. And why does every 'hack' have to contain about 2000 calories?

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:47

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

monkeytennis posted:

Some of those 'hacks' are full-on moronic. Dump a load of cooked mince in a bag of Doritos. And why does every 'hack' have to contain about 2000 calories?

The kind of people that want to make their life "easier" are the kind of people that don't eat healthy or exercise.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:49

Psychedelicatessen: Feb 17, 2012

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

All of these recipes are weird and awful, a good lifehack collection.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:52

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

The_White_Crane posted:

... Is that pre-cooked bacon?
Is that a thing in America?

That bacon is raw, but yeah precooked bacon is a thing.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:54

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

And yes, as you were probably certain already, precooked bacon is not exactly the king of flavor. That may just be because I've only had it heated in a microwave, and it just comes out kind of soggy.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:59

Rad Tad: Jul 2, 2014

sorry teach, my dog ate my homework, but not before the cat poo poo on it

# ? Aug 23, 2014 21:16

EXAKT Science: Aug 14, 2012; 8 on the Kinsey scale

My Lovely Horse posted:

I'm browsing Ikea Hackers to get some ideas for a desk (it's not very fruitful) and spotted this one: Kids desk and cat toilet all in one.

A dream come true.

Check out this awesome hack to give your kids toxoplasmosis!

# ? Aug 23, 2014 21:17

Flaskraven: Nov 20, 2012; I hope you get crushed to death by a fat guy trying to commit suicide by falling out of a window and when the paramedics answer the local bystander asking if you'll live, he just says "fat chance" and laughs.

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

They even combined this one with the stupid loving "Put as much ketchup as humanly possible in your cup" hack. I hate that one, how much ketchup do you need?

# ? Aug 23, 2014 21:44

Present: Oct 28, 2011; by Shine

twoday posted:

The lifehacks subreddit is exactly the sort of infuriating garbage advice from garbage people that you would expect it to be:

Nothing stupid about this. Sitting on the rim of the tub with your foot on the bowl and clipping toenails right into it is fucken quick and easy.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 21:48

thespaceinvader: Mar 30, 2011; The slightest touch from a Gol-Shogeg will result in Instant Death!

Spergminer posted:

All of these recipes are weird and awful, a good lifehack collection.

The exception to the rule is the sliced-potato one, #20 - that's (more-or-less) Hasselback potatoes, and they're loving delicious.

I also have to say, I quite like the cupcake one, I do find them nicer that way (more akin to a 2-layer sponge cake which I like). But it still pisses me off how much I see it, and how it's called a hack all the time.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 21:58

Planet Piss: Dec 18, 2006; hey you kids, get out of my moat, it was not meant to be played in

Flaskraven posted:

They even combined this one with the stupid loving "Put as much ketchup as humanly possible in your cup" hack. I hate that one, how much ketchup do you need?

Maybe they haven't heard this Lifehack:

Buy a bottle of ketchup at the store to have as much ketchup as you need!

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:09

Comptroll The Forums: Apr 25, 2007; DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!

I don't think you understand the convenience of carrying literal fistfuls of ketchup on a loosely held together scrap of paper.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:19

Leper Residue: Sep 28, 2003; To where no dog has gone before.

Planet Piss posted:

Maybe they haven't heard this Lifehack:

Buy a bottle of ketchup at the store to have as much ketchup as you need!

And when you run out, you can take the bottle to the fast food place and refill it there for free!

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:26

Planet Piss: Dec 18, 2006; hey you kids, get out of my moat, it was not meant to be played in

Leper Residue posted:

And when you run out, you can take the bottle to the fast food place and refill it there for free!

Now that's a video I'd like to see

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:29

Devor: Nov 30, 2004; Lurking more.

Planet Piss posted:

Now that's a video I'd like to see

Google, man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhjYdHQO4lQ

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:54

Doubtful Guest: Jun 23, 2008; Meanwhile, Conradin made himself another piece of toazzzzzzt.

Devor posted:

Google, man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhjYdHQO4lQ

They seemed very eager to get caught/challenged, but I doubt the average fast food employee gives a gently caress as long as they're not making their jobs harder.

At a Subway near me homeless folk go in all the time and fill up cups of the soft drinks and walk out. The drinks cost pennies and no one wants to get potentially stabbed or hassled for minimum wage.

Lifehack - look like you might stab someone to take free fountain drinks!

# ? Aug 23, 2014 23:43

chickie nugs for brekkie: May 17, 2010

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

The taco lettuce trick seems legit though.

Rad Tad posted:

sorry teach, my dog ate my homework, but not before the cat poo poo on it

Lifehack: Don't want to scoop the litter box? Get a dog. (Dogsitting for my parents. Gross little bastard. Get the gently caress out of there.)

# ? Aug 24, 2014 00:16

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

The following article is very, very silly: http://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/15-tips-for-backpacking-around-the-world-on-a-dime#3iw1itu

tl;dr: "Don't want to spend a lot of money on vacation? Don't go to expensive places!"

# ? Aug 24, 2014 00:18

Montague Tigg: Mar 23, 2008; Previously, on "Ronnie Likes Data":

Devor posted:

Google, man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhjYdHQO4lQ

That guy looks like the kind of douche that would love to make a scene and then drive home while satisfying himself in his Prius.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 00:55

Planet Piss: Dec 18, 2006; hey you kids, get out of my moat, it was not meant to be played in

Doubtful Guest posted:

They seemed very eager to get caught/challenged, but I doubt the average fast food employee gives a gently caress as long as they're not making their jobs harder.

At a Subway near me homeless folk go in all the time and fill up cups of the soft drinks and walk out. The drinks cost pennies and no one wants to get potentially stabbed or hassled for minimum wage.

Lifehack - look like you might stab someone to take free fountain drinks!

Yeah, I thought they'd at least attempt to be discreet

How to face your fears: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DeBfvPiFN0

How to make a Thanksgiving feast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4rkAmtYhmU

How to clean your messy desk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VujixzgyVcw

How to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO34wntBRS8

# ? Aug 24, 2014 00:56

Mocking Bird: Aug 17, 2011

Survival Tips for Living Along

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/24-survival-tips-for-living-alone#ngit48

I'm just... I'm just... so alone :saddowns:

I'm imagining someone doing this at a beach. Just spackling on a paint rollers worth of sunscreen.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:10

Ambystoma: Oct 22, 2008; At least I looked like a popular idiot.

That one and the dress one, how can you be a normal sized human and not be able to reach your own goddamn back? (Unless you have genuine mobility issues or tiny arms :ohdear:

)

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:31

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

In all of my experiences, shaking pop makes it go flat. I know people who don't like the feeling of carbonation and shake their drinks beforehand to lessen the fizz.

I do love how these are "survival tips" however.

"Woe be unto me, for my soda has become flat, and now I await only the sweet embrace of death."

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:39

Jose Valasquez: Apr 8, 2005

Ambystoma posted:

That one and the dress one, how can you be a normal sized human and not be able to reach your own goddamn back? (Unless you have genuine mobility issues or tiny arms )

Normal sized people have a difficult time reaching their entire back

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:39

SystemLogoff: Feb 19, 2011; End Session?

I wonder if at first they decided that "Shaking Wine" to keep it good sounded bad before they said 'put in jar'. :v:

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:42

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

On second thought, a bunch of those seem to be "How to do things that you'd normally get a man to do for you because you're a sissy incompetent girl"

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:43

RillAkBea: Oct 11, 2008

kazil posted:

Saw this on imgur today: http://imgur.com/gallery/SPM1sJI

Helpful lifehacks such as "pour poo poo from around your house all over your house to fix your house" and "put poo poo in bags to organize poo poo".

For bonus laughs, the top comment is a rape joke.

Some of these are just awful even beyond the par for bad hacks.

"Clean stuck-on gunk
Put a fresh [dryer] sheet in a pan with baked-on food and fill with water. Let sit for a few hours and the food will just wipe away."

It sounds like some idiot just lucked onto the secret of letting stuff soak and attributed the success to dryer sheets somehow.

"Freshen up the shower
Rub shower doors with a wet [dryer] sheet to remove mineral deposits and soap scum."

Well get ready to have your life hacked senor life hacker because you can also do this with a sponge, and a sponge can be washed and reused! Put your bathroom sponge in a ziploc bag and mark it bathroom so you know that it's for the bathroom, then you can keep it in the bathroom so it'll always be available in the bathroom.

*Use only brand name products in your hacks such as Ziploc, Oreos and Nutella. Failure to use mentioned brand name products could result in injury or death.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:47

CJacobs: Apr 17, 2011; Reach for the moon!

RillAkBea posted:

Some of these are just awful even beyond the par for bad hacks.

"Clean stuck-on gunk
Put a fresh [dryer] sheet in a pan with baked-on food and fill with water. Let sit for a few hours and the food will just wipe away."

It sounds like some idiot just lucked onto the secret of letting stuff soak and attributed the success to dryer sheets somehow.

I love this one because for some reason the person gave all the credit to the dryer sheet, and not the probably more obvious water the dish is soaking in, because then it wouldn't be a life hack. :rolleyes:

# ? Aug 24, 2014 04:55

Croccers: Jun 15, 2012

El Estrago Bonito posted:

I'm shocked no one has mentioned Subway yet. I know this because I love Tomatoes not because I'm some kind of shifty shyster.

Tomatoes are the only thing Subway will just keep giving you if you ask for more politely. I routinely ask for "triple tomatoes" on my sub because gently caress you its awesome. Someone once told me they do the same for Spinach as well. This seems like the kind of lifehack thing people would talk about because you gots to maximize your 5 dollar footlong profits.

American Subway is weird.
My Subway, bar Avocado and Beetroot (Guess where I am), there's a general build to follow but if you ask for more salad you get it. The limit is common sense and being able to close the thing unlike that Tom Green video.
I used to serve one guy that would get nothing but chicken schnitzel, hot chilli and two full handfuls of olives on a footlong.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 05:15

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

davidspackage posted:

If you hit someone with your car, keep driving. The police can't catch you this way!

Life hack: Claim the law doesn't apply to you!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p-7XoVgNtA

Croccers posted:

American Subway is weird.
My Subway, bar Avocado and Beetroot (Guess where I am), there's a general build to follow but if you ask for more salad you get it. The limit is common sense and being able to close the thing unlike that Tom Green video.
I used to serve one guy that would get nothing but chicken schnitzel, hot chilli and two full handfuls of olives on a footlong.

Life hack: Ask for no lettuce so you can fit more of the better salads in your sub!

# ? Aug 24, 2014 05:25

Epi Lepi: Oct 29, 2009; You can hear the voice
Telling you to Love
It's the voice of MK Ultra
And you're doing what it wants

Spergminer posted:

All of these recipes are weird and awful, a good lifehack collection.

Nah #15 is dope for parties, assuming you use a good cheese and not like, American or something.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 05:45

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

That is a hell of a better way to get mango peeled than the cube method.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 06:05

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

I know they're only hotdogs, but just look at those things. Ugh.

# ? Aug 24, 2014 07:12

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

Wanamingo posted:

I know they're only hotdogs, but just look at those things. Ugh.

Doobie gonna have a new corkscrew dog

# ? Aug 24, 2014 07:17

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

The spaghetti hotdogs one is obviously incredibly dumb if you're an adult doing this to eat it yourself, but I can see it being a fun thing to do for children.

quote:

14.) Store-bought pastry dough can be filled with pretty much anything, then baked.

This is the best one. Go to the supermarket, buy a thing, then use it for its intended purpose. Lifehack! :downs:

# ? Aug 24, 2014 08:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 14:20

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

RillAkBea posted:

*Use only brand name products in your hacks such as Ziploc, Oreos and Nutella. Failure to use mentioned brand name products could result in injury or death.

That reminds me, I've seen a bunch of lifehax/household tips to make your own stain remover, window cleaner, weed killer, etc., that specify Dawn dishwashing detergent. Sometimes even "blue" Dawn dishwashing detergent. Just once one specified "dishwashing soap (NOT Dawn)". WTF is up with dawn? We have Dawn here in Canada, but it appears to be identical to all the other brands. Is it made with pixie dust and nightmares or what?

# ? Aug 24, 2014 08:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

«‹›489 »