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Remember how you said in the other thread that you wish you had waited until finances were under control to have a kid? I think you need to wait until you have the car situation cleared up before you can even consider relocating. If you didn't have a $500 car payment and a lease break fee, things would look a lot more do-able.
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May 29, 2015 00:01
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Keep in mind the quantity of pets he has adding significant costs to rental options.
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May 29, 2015 00:04
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I am primary breadwinner and currently awaiting a job offer, likely tomorrow, that will impact where my husband, dog and five month old live (locally), how our daycare situation may change, and if we need a second car. I am more anxious for Knyteguy's offer than my own. I'll be fine, whichever offer comes in. I know roughly how my situation will end up. I'm nail biting on Internet Stranger's situation.
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May 29, 2015 00:07
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I hope the offer comes in at $80k/yr guaranteed so Knyteguy will just let it go. Knowing nothing about the company except what we've heard through Knyteguy it wouldn't surprise me if the "guaranteed" portion of the income is low, but the "earning potential!!!!" portion of the income is like $300k/yr! Again I have no idea, but it's frustrating that a month ago Knyteguy was talking about getting into debt repayment mode finally and now he's talking about ditching his emergency fund to live paycheck to paycheck in San Diego. EDIT: I don't mean ill-will towards Knyteguy. I hope he can find a position in Reno that's $80k-$100k a year. I just hope the offer is clear cut enough to make it an easy decision and he doesn't do something on a gut feeling that he may potentially regret. If the offer came in at $150k/yr + bonus that would be an easy decision to take it. I worry it's going to come in at $105k/yr and he's going to struggle to make it work which may have long term detrimental impacts on his "stated financial goals". Bugamol fucked around with this message at 00:17 on May 29, 2015 |
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May 29, 2015 00:14
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Knyteguy posted:Hey this is crazy. Here's my budget, San Diego maybe. quote:Travel
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May 29, 2015 00:26
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Knyteguy posted:To get back to the budget, Horking does June's budget have to be the same as May's for the competition? When I made May's I wasn't thinking it had to be the same, but if it does then it should be fine. If not I may adjust a thing or two (not sure). As someone on the payout side of this contest, I was under the impression that you had to make one budget that was the same for all three months and come in under that budget for all three months. I thought the whole point was to force you to set a reasonable budget that was for more than a month, not three more months of you shuffling it after you found out it didn't work. However, as Horking said, I'm willing to go with whatever the majority opinion is. This is all going to be a moot point anyway if you move to SD as that first budget won't apply and you'll have to change it, I suppose.
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May 29, 2015 06:37
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IllegallySober posted:This is all going to be a moot point anyway if you move to SD as that first budget won't apply and you'll have to change it, I suppose. It's the whole loving thread in a nutshell. He didn't even get through the first month of the budget exercise before he's getting  with a recruiter who's fueling his daydreams with talk about this San Diego job, which would of course require abandoning the budget and going deeper in debt ($5k relo lol). I'd say it's good interview experience but it's not the best use of his time.
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May 29, 2015 12:40
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You haven't gotten the offer yet, so this discussion could start all over again when you do. That said, I have to chime in on the side of not relocating (unless it's an absolutely life-changing step up in pay). I can relate to your excitement for a new opportunity. With that opportunity could come new surroundings, nominally better pay and status, and the feeling that your career is taking a big step forward. Because of this excitement, you might feel like not taking the job is choosing the status quo (permanently, maybe) instead of all this exciting stuff being offered to you in SD. You mentioned not having a whole lot to talk about in therapy. I would talk about this issue, and break down the decision making process. I've done something similar and have been working on becoming more aware of the feeling of excitement and differentiating it from the facts. One thing that I always used to remember when I would make a very impulsive decision was a pleasurable feeling of excitement about whatever new scheme I thought was going to solve a bunch of my problems. But under that excitement there was always a really strong doubt/anxiety, because part of me knew that in reality it wasn't a good idea (or maybe more accurately, that I had no idea about the reality because I wasn't actually analyzing the facts--I was going on my excitement). Getting more aware of these factors has helped me make better financial and career decisions. My dad considers himself a real estate investor (though he hasn't bought anything since the crash). The advice he always gave me was to constantly look at the market but never feel the need or even the desire to make a move. Just gather information. When a truly good deal presents itself, it will be so obvious, it'll be like an alarm is going off. At first I didn't really get it, but over time, reflecting on my decision-making process, I finally understand. You can't make good decisions when you're desperate for something different. The best decisions you can make are when you're content with how things are now and can thus see all your options without the bias of desiring something different. It might help to keep in mind that your efforts led to this potential opportunity. It didn't just happen to you. You deserve a lot of credit for making this happen and opening this door for yourself. You also deserve a lot of credit for opening up your decision-making process to a bunch of other people. It seems like exercising this kind of diligence is relatively new to you. What do you think would happen if you hit the pause button on making moves and just kept exploring the market and exercising this diligence? Maybe something will open up that gives you more money, a step forward in your career, and doesn't require you to relocate before you're financially/psychologically ready to do so. If that were to happen, it would be a no-brainer, right? If it doesn't happen, at least you looked long and hard at the market and made sure. I think a big part of financial success and independence (and I see it in the people I know and also on these forums) is the ability to choose the more un-exciting option when the numbers aren't working. And by working I don't mean "we can make it work," I mean, "exactly what I need to meet all my goals" or something close to it. Just one more thing before I wrap up this up--your discounting your desire to stay near your mother could be you just trying to justify the move. I lost my mom recently, having just moved out of state to explore a somewhat impulsive "career move," and I have lots of regrets that I wasn't there for her. I don't blame myself, but at the end of the day, when I compare what I gave up to what I got back from the decision, I definitely would have stayed. Whatever motivated me to move away seems so trivial at this point, I can barely relate to the past version of myself that made the decision to move away.
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May 29, 2015 15:46
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I appreciate the post qmark. I'm not going to argue with you guys about it any longer, but I will say that I feel like I've explained thoroughly enough that if the offer comes and it's about what I've been budgeting, then I'm very likely not going to take it. I didn't say I was going to dip into our emergency fund (in fact I said the opposite), and I never said anything about the budgets themselves working or being a justification for moving. I in fact said the opposite. I don't know why anyone would think the charity budget challenge isn't still on. I've never said anything except full speed ahead. Let me worry about the details of making that happen.
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May 29, 2015 17:12
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Knyteguy posted:To get back to the budget, Horking does June's budget have to be the same as May's for the competition? When I made May's I wasn't thinking it had to be the same, but if it does then it should be fine. If not I may adjust a thing or two (not sure). I'm not part of that contest, but as far as I can tell the whole loving point is to get you to stick to a single budget for several months straight. It was the chorus from the thread before this job offer / SD chat: "STICK TO A loving BUDGET WITHOUT CHANGING IT FOR X MONTHS" I thought you finally understood what a budget was, but here we are again.
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May 29, 2015 18:16
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Inverse Icarus posted:I'm not part of that contest, but as far as I can tell the whole loving point is to get you to stick to a single budget for several months straight. It was the chorus from the thread before this job offer / SD chat: "STICK TO A loving BUDGET WITHOUT CHANGING IT FOR X MONTHS" https://www.youneedabudget.com/support/article/using-the-budget quote:Can I change my budget throughout the month? "I thought you finally understood how I budget." lol and I even agreed to keep it the same, but I wanted some clarification. It wasn't in the rules to keep the budget the same for three months, as the rule specifically stated "Post your budget before the first of the month." If you don't like YNAB that's fine, but it's what I use and it works for me. The whole system is built to be dynamic. If the sponsors want me to keep it exactly the same then that's what I'll do. It's difficult because my wife's income is often variable, but I'll make it it work. What exactly are you yelling for?
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May 29, 2015 18:25
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I think you have me blocked for some reason but the reason he's yelling at you is very clear: just because you can change a budget mid-month doesn't mean it's a good idea. Again, you're fitting that piece from YNAB into your argument but the entire point of a budget is to set realistic goals and hit them. Or at least understand why you didn't hit them and adjust accordingly (SPENDING NOT BUDGET) the next month. If you change it constantly (which you do) what's the point if even tracking it all? It makes each months budget and the small changes in spending less meaningful because you can always just tweak the budget to feel better about your spending.
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May 29, 2015 18:37
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I don't care about YNAB or whatever software you happen to be using, I'm just saying the thread has been yelling this same message over and over and you somehow don't get it. Even Horking said it a week before offering the challenge, quoting me:Inverse Icarus posted:You're the one doing it. The entire thread has been shouting "MAKE A BUDGET AND STICK TO IT FOR THREE MONTHS" for about a year now, and every month it's like you're discovering how to make a budget all over again, shifting things around in a shell game to make yourself feel better about the numbers. Horking Delight posted:Has there been even one month yet where you aren't fiddling with your budget? At first I assumed you just needed some time to get used to using a budget, and then I assumed you were having fun playing with the numbers, but seriously. Which is why Horking then said recently: Horking Delight posted:I sorta think yes because I'm of the opinion that budgets should be "set it and forget it", but I'll happily go with whatever BFC recommends if they're okay with changing it.
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May 29, 2015 18:39
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Iron Lung posted:I think you have me blocked for some reason but the reason he's yelling at you is very clear: just because you can change a budget mid-month doesn't mean it's a good idea. Again, you're fitting that piece from YNAB into your argument but the entire point of a budget is to set realistic goals and hit them. Or at least understand why you didn't hit them and adjust accordingly (SPENDING NOT BUDGET) the next month. I don't have you blocked. I don't have anyone blocked (except for one TFF poster whose gimmick drives me insane). I don't have the energy or the will to debate right now. Moving forward I'm going to try to relax a bit in the thread. That will really help me I think. I hope some of you guys do as well. I mean look at the thread title how can any of us be mad? 
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May 29, 2015 18:55
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Knyteguy posted:I don't have you blocked. I don't have anyone blocked (except for one TFF poster whose gimmick drives me insane). I'll be mad if the thread title comes true.
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May 29, 2015 19:17
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I vote keep the budget EXACTLY the same. Changing the budget every month is part of the issue the challenge is trying to address. When your budget changes too often, it won't feel real and binding. I think I kind of get your mindset. It's fun to think of what could be and it's fun (and possibly even useful) to think out loud in this thread and get feedback. The problem is the same it's always been - your past behavior makes us think this isn't an idle daydream but a real possibility that you will take if given the slightest encouragement. The solution is pretty easy though. When you get the offer, unless it is ridiculously better (120k base+ salary, I would say), don't take it. And don't post the offer in the thread and then ask for opinions unless it is ridiculously better. Otherwise it will sound like you're trying to justify taking it. Just post the offer and that you're telling them no.
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May 29, 2015 19:19
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Knyteguy posted:https://www.youneedabudget.com/support/article/using-the-budget Is it really working for you? If you were to rate your performance on a scale of A - F what grade would you give yourself? Given how LONG this thread has gone on, do you think it is reasonable that you should be able to establish a budget that lasts for more than a month? I can understand the idea of changing the budget if something weird comes up - or dipping into savings. That being said, the primary flaw that you continue to make is you don't work with a set amount of money each month. One month you spend X, then for whatever reasons you decide you should spend Y next month. That's not how budgeting should be working. This has been discussed ad infinitum in this thread, and probably in your previous thread as well. I continue to wonder if the reason you argue these points is you just like to argue and hate admitting you are wrong, or if you just don't understand it. Same thing goes for this whole relocation thing. Against the face of a bunch of really well thought out arguments, you continued to argue for what is objectively a rather poor choice. Is it because you don't want to admit someone else is right?
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May 29, 2015 19:25
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Wait KG did you think that the goal of this budget challenge is to not end up with any red numbers in YNAB at the end of each month for 3 months? And that it's okay to employ Rule 3 to move budgeted dollars from one category to another?
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May 29, 2015 19:49
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Knyteguy posted:I don't have you blocked. I don't have anyone blocked (except for one TFF poster whose gimmick drives me insane). Does he hate Alex Smith?
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May 29, 2015 20:36
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No Butt Stuff posted:Does he hate Alex Smith? Your science is impeccable  I'll get to everyone else's posts.
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May 29, 2015 21:02
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I think you should keep the same budget all 3 months. FWIW, the way we do it is that my wife and I revisit the budget "as necessary", which ends up being 2-3 times a year. The "as necessary" events are usually either a change in income (raise for either of us, change in health insurance taken from paycheck, etc.) or a completion of a short-term goal (paying off a debt, hitting a savings goal). We use these reviews to look at: 1. Our short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals, along with relative priorities of those goals 2. Whether any of the line items have seemed too low or too high In general, only a couple of categories ever really change at any given review, because we take a look at our priorities and usually commit any leftover money to that priority. By giving it multiple months, you can see if your feeling of a line item being too restrictive was a one-time thing, or a bigger trend. It also smooths out some of the month-to-month fluctuations just due to the particular day you get something, like for gas or food. I guess that was a long way of saying that I think you should stick to the same budget for all 3 months, with the key being that you actually stick to it and then review later.
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May 29, 2015 21:14
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Most importantly is that the same amount of money in total goes out each month.
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May 29, 2015 21:28
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Got the offer. $110,000. I said OK. Sorry Goons I had to prioritize what I had to prioritize. .
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May 30, 2015 01:37
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May 30, 2015 01:40
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lol
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May 30, 2015 01:42
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I hope you're joking?
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May 30, 2015 01:46
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Huh. Okay.
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May 30, 2015 01:52
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Nah I'm just playing. I'd let the meanness go longer but poor Eris and I'll be out of town all weekend and there's another opportunity to discuss. The partner who I interviewed with was unable to sway the other partners that they needed someone in that spot for that price range. They prioritized other needs (billable work). They said they'd probably be able to extend an offer in 3-5 months if I was still looking when they fill their actual billable guys, but obviously that's off the table. However the big positive takeaway from this, is the partner is going to give me a glowing recommendation to one of their clients in Stockton who I was actually going to interview with before this one came up. Now I don't know much about the area, but my mom says Lodi is nice and pretty close to Stockton. The recruiter says that with the recommendation from the partner he doesn't think that it will take very much interviewing at all to get me in. The recruiter said he would be shooting for $100,000, especially with the recommendation of their technical partner for their consultancy firm. The cost of living in Stockton is insanely close to Reno, we'd be close to family... it seems doable but I don't try to guess what BFC will think anymore. And you big jerks look at how cool the view was from that office in SD (it was downtown btw): 
Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 01:56 on May 30, 2015 |
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May 30, 2015 01:53
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Stockton is Satan's rear end hole. Lodi is "okay".
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May 30, 2015 01:56
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Bless you KnyteGuy. Meanwhile, my crazy rear end HR person pulled a Houdini on me! Figures.
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May 30, 2015 01:56
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I was deceived.
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May 30, 2015 01:58
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 Bummer Eris it's the worst not knowing. Good luck!
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May 30, 2015 02:01
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Stockton loving blows.
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May 30, 2015 02:23
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Knyteguy posted:Nah I'm just playing. I'd let the meanness go longer but poor Eris and I'll be out of town all weekend and there's another opportunity to discuss. The partner who I interviewed with was unable to sway the other partners that they needed someone in that spot for that price range. They prioritized other needs (billable work). They said they'd probably be able to extend an offer in 3-5 months if I was still looking when they fill their actual billable guys, but obviously that's off the table. The Padres are loving garbage, I'm hoping for another blowout tonight.
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May 30, 2015 02:35
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Please post in the California Megathread for honest opinions of Stockton and then stay in Nevada.
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May 30, 2015 03:26
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Can you guys stop telling him the truth about Stockton? I want to see a few pages of justification why Stockton is great. We've already got the requisite "close to family." Now talk about how you've always been a Central Valley wine connoisseur or how your family has dreamed of living in a major inland port city.
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May 30, 2015 04:16
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Can Stockton really be that much worse than Reno?
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May 30, 2015 05:20
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100k in Stockton can easily be done. But... it's Stockton, so there's that.
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May 30, 2015 05:28
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Isurion posted:Can Stockton really be that much worse than Reno? 100k in Stockton seems like a pretty good amount of money if the cost of living is the same and would prepare him for a much better career move for the job after that. Even if it sucks, having family around can make it suck less.
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May 30, 2015 05:29
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Isurion posted:Can Stockton really be that much worse than Reno? Yes. San Diego? Nah. Bay Area? One day. Stockton? Knyteguy says, "Sure thing let's go."
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May 30, 2015 05:34
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