Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

H110Hawk: Dec 28, 2006

Inspector_666 posted:

Didn't you just get into IT like a year ago? How are you already doing interviews.

We put people onto interview panels more or less 3 months after they start. It might not be solo, but into the deep end with you.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 00:45

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# ? May 12, 2024 14:11

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Greatest Weakness: Remembering names.

It's a great answer because you can say that it's difficult and you have to make a conscious effort to remember. At that point, you can take a moment to recite back the interviewers names to show that you're paying attention and that you can overcome your weakness.

Historical figure on an airplane: Mata Hari.
It works on multiple levels.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 01:05

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Greatest Weakness: Remembering names.

It's a great answer because you can say that it's difficult and you have to make a conscious effort to remember. At that point, you can take a moment to recite back the interviewers names to show that you're paying attention and that you can overcome your weakness.

Historical figure on an airplane: Mata Hari.
It works on multiple levels.

unless you were applying for a sales position i'd laugh you right out of the room with this horseshit

then again i wouldn't ask this question, i would attempt to find your deepest, most personal insecurity and bring it up

# ? Nov 19, 2015 01:52

Gucci Loafers: May 20, 2006; Ask yourself, do you really want to talk to pair of really nice gaudy shoes?

That actually seems like a half-decent answer but my answer is kryptonite which is typically followed by laughter and on to the next question.

If they press then it's time to bs a weakness but tell it in way that's a strength. I took on too much work, overload myself but now I've started to refer tasks to my immediate team members.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 01:59

bull3964: Nov 18, 2000; DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK.

Airwatch is software made by VMWare that's not a hypervisor.

That makes the situation pretty much self explanatory.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 04:02

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

Vulture Culture posted:

unless you were applying for a sales position i'd laugh you right out of the room with this horseshit

then again i wouldn't ask this question, i would attempt to find your deepest, most personal insecurity and bring it up

You could always ask the question I was asked when I interviewed for a Mac Genius position almost a decade ago.

"If you were tasked with designing the world's most advanced toilet, what would you focus on?"

# ? Nov 19, 2015 05:05

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

You could always ask the question I was asked when I interviewed for a Mac Genius position almost a decade ago.

"If you were tasked with designing the world's most advanced toilet, what would you focus on?"

the answer is always product-market fit

# ? Nov 19, 2015 05:14

Toshimo: Aug 23, 2012; He's outta line...

But he's right!

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

"If you were tasked with designing the world's most advanced toilet, what would you focus on?"

Twitter Integration

# ? Nov 19, 2015 05:17

luminalflux: May 27, 2005

Vulture Culture posted:

When this happened to me it was really loving annoying because they took six weeks to build and deliver us a new rack and when they had everything all together it still didn't work for another month

Why IBM doesn't just avoid the trouble by not using dog-poo poo discount shippers is beyond me because I guarantee their actuaries are mis-estimating the financial cost of their awful reputation

Yeah we fortunately had another rack destined for another location ready to go at the integrator that we could just deliver to the location where it took a happy little dive off the liftgate, but that had fun knock-on effects for future rollouts.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 06:02

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

luminalflux posted:

Yeah we fortunately had another rack destined for another location ready to go at the integrator that we could just deliver to the location where it took a happy little dive off the liftgate, but that had fun knock-on effects for future rollouts.

What really annoyed me about these idiots is that I told them exactly what kind of truck to bring, what kind of liftgate, and how they would need to get the equipment off the truck, and they ignored me because what does this dumb fuckin' computer nerd know about shipping and moving anyway

Instead they put a wheeled pallet jack containing a tall, top-heavy, extremely expensive piece of equipment onto a liftgate where the outer half angled about 15 degrees down, because how can this go wrong

When it started to list the guy underneath tried to catch it and keep it from tipping because we just haven't established their intelligence yet

Vulture Culture fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Nov 19, 2015

# ? Nov 19, 2015 06:09

luminalflux: May 27, 2005

I'm glad I don't do datacenter ops at all anymore.

When I did rock'n'roll the first thing I taught people when unloading a truck was to not try and catch something if it's about to fall off the liftgate/ramps (also, if you're 4 people holding something that won't happen). Still didn't stop idiots from trying catch the rigging assembly for a Meyer line array from toppling off the gate with their foot. It looks like

, weighs 275 lbs and is transported standing like that on wheels.

luminalflux fucked around with this message at 06:30 on Nov 19, 2015

# ? Nov 19, 2015 06:21

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

You could always ask the question I was asked when I interviewed for a Mac Genius position almost a decade ago.

"If you were tasked with designing the world's most advanced toilet, what would you focus on?"

"I've been to Japan, the answer is the bidet."

# ? Nov 19, 2015 06:29

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

You could always ask the question I was asked when I interviewed for a Mac Genius position almost a decade ago.

"If you were tasked with designing the world's most advanced toilet, what would you focus on?"

Automatic Instagram posts of my latest turd including weight and size stats

# ? Nov 19, 2015 06:59

mewse: May 2, 2006

A toilet that makes continuous bathroom noises to mask the bathroom noises that oneself is generating

# ? Nov 19, 2015 07:02

Sprechensiesexy: Dec 26, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

mewse posted:

A toilet that makes continuous bathroom noises to mask the bathroom noises that oneself is generating

The toilets I used in Japan all had a music button. Never tried it though but I expect crappy music to drown out a furious butt trumpet solo.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 07:30

luminalflux: May 27, 2005

The only real music for drowning out my time on the throne is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOsaYPV9ldM

# ? Nov 19, 2015 08:55

Mr. Fix It: Oct 26, 2000; 💀ayyy💀

Sprechensiesexy posted:

The toilets I used in Japan all had a music button. Never tried it though but I expect crappy music to drown out a furious butt trumpet solo.

One at my workplace comes on automatically and sounds like birds and a creek. I always turn it off :marc:

# ? Nov 19, 2015 09:06

Che Delilas: Nov 23, 2009; FREE TIBET WEED

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

"If you were tasked with designing the world's most advanced toilet, what would you focus on?"

Making sure the flush worked. Seriously. You can have a toilet with a massage and a heated seat and internet connectivity but if it doesn't get all the poop down it's worse than a basic model.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 09:40

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

bull3964 posted:

Airwatch is software made by VMWare that's not a hypervisor.

That makes the situation pretty much self explanatory.

I thought it was made by someone else, not finished and then bought by VMWare?

Thanks for the info guys. We just finished a demo with Maas360 and will probably be doing one with Airwatch soon if they even call us back.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 14:02

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Vulture Culture posted:

the answer is always product-market fit

Dev Ops

Toshimo posted:

Twitter Integration

Marketing

Inspector_666 posted:

"I've been to Japan, the answer is the bidet."

Sales

CLAM DOWN posted:

Automatic Instagram posts of my latest turd including weight and size stats

Marketing manager

mewse posted:

A toilet that makes continuous bathroom noises to mask the bathroom noises that oneself is generating

Accounting

Che Delilas posted:

Making sure the flush worked. Seriously. You can have a toilet with a massage and a heated seat and internet connectivity but if it doesn't get all the poop down it's worse than a basic model.

Networking

Systems admin: hardening the toilet to prevent cracks and leaks, even if used maliciously

Programming / dev: the perfect fitting toilet seat and an intuitive flusher

CEO: more features, some not yet invented, at a lower cost than any competitors even if it means cutting positions from marketing because this thing will market itself!

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:27

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Instead of selling a toilet that user owns forever, what if we give them the toilet for free and sell them annual user licenses?

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:36

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Instead of selling a toilet that user owns forever, what if we give them the toilet for free and sell them annual user licenses?

Something, something volume licensing.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:38

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

If your diet changes and you don't have active software assurance then it throws the turds back at you. If you let maintenance lapse then you need to pay 90% of the cost of a new toilet and have a chargeable engineer visit to be allowed to bring it back under support.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:47

nielsm: Jun 1, 2009

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Programming / dev: the perfect fitting toilet seat and an intuitive flusher

Maybe I should go back to software. "Sitting comfort" was my first thought, admittedly I was also reading that post while taking a dump on company time, on a toilet with a half broken seat.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:49

Roargasm: Oct 21, 2010; Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy

Double wide with an iPad stand

flosofl posted:

Something, something volume licensing.

Horrifying

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:52

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Why, you already have a shelf for your milk and comics.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:53

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Instead of selling a toilet that user owns forever, what if we give them the toilet for free and sell them annual user licenses?

Would this be a model of Flush as a Service, where one annual license allows the functional use of the device? Or perhaps client PALs (Poop Access License) for every user? Or a tiered volume deal of 5 turd Basic, 15 turd Professional, unlimited turd Enterprise licenses?

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:53

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

if it doesn't have a snack tray i don't see the point frankly

# ? Nov 19, 2015 15:53

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Sales

The difference between my suggestion and most of the ones that come out of sales is that the built-in bidet is actually something you need but just don't know it yet.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:01

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

I love this thread so much right now.

This is exactly what I needed this morning.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:02

H110Hawk: Dec 28, 2006

No Chipotle gift card cross promotional jokes?

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:04

Japanese Dating Sim: Nov 12, 2003; hehe; Lipstick Apathy

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Dev Ops

Marketing

Sales

Marketing manager

Accounting

Networking

Systems admin: hardening the toilet to prevent cracks and leaks, even if used maliciously

Programming / dev: the perfect fitting toilet seat and an intuitive flusher

CEO: more features, some not yet invented, at a lower cost than any competitors even if it means cutting positions from marketing because this thing will market itself!

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:05

Kashuno: Oct 9, 2012; Where the hell is my SWORD?; Grimey Drawer

anyone have opinions on simplivity vs.tintri?

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:14

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Current status of https://microsoft.com: :laugh:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:19

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

Judge Schnoopy posted:

CEO: more features, some not yet invented, at a lower cost than any competitors even if it means cutting positions from marketing because this thing will market itself!

"Make it so I can poo poo in the toilet without having to sit on it or take the time to actually use it. What? No, it can't be mobile, that's stupid. Don't tell me it's impossible, I'm sure those boys at Apple could figure it out! Put on your thinking caps and get it done, we're already selling the concept."

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:30

vibur: Apr 23, 2004

"It looks like you're trying to drop a log. Would you like help?"

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:38

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Kashuno posted:

anyone have opinions on simplivity vs.tintri?

Well, Simplivity is hyperconverged and Tintri is storage, so they are going to fit somewhat different needs. But if your budget can accommodate it Tintri is really really good. All of our customers who buy it are very happy with the performance and simplicity.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:40

Nerdrock: Jan 31, 2006

The correct answer is a toilet that blocks smartphone use to help reduce employee downtime and increase efficiency.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:45

Kashuno: Oct 9, 2012; Where the hell is my SWORD?; Grimey Drawer

NippleFloss posted:

Well, Simplivity is hyperconverged and Tintri is storage, so they are going to fit somewhat different needs. But if your budget can accommodate it Tintri is really really good. All of our customers who buy it are very happy with the performance and simplicity.

That's where I'm at; idk why we had considered Simplivity as an option, and I just sat through the most embarrassingly bad sales meeting ever with them. Trying to narrow down some storage options to put in front of upper management. Comparing Tintri and Tegile is next.

# ? Nov 19, 2015 16:57

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# ? May 12, 2024 14:11

CloFan: Nov 6, 2004

Nerdrock posted:

The correct answer is a toilet that blocks smartphone use to help reduce employee downtime and increase efficiency.

Whoa now, don't want to incite a riot

# ? Nov 19, 2015 17:07

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