paco650 posted:

or are you talking about the girl from OKC that had that whole photo album of how she was going to drag your (dead? drugged?) body along on some train adventure or whatever and then bury you in the woods and that would be a good first date?

The Man From Utopia posted:

Uhhh I had a notification of a visitor tonight and this is what I found:

JediTalentAgent posted:

It's all a test: To pass, you would have been smart enough to gradually make yourself immune to most poisons over the years just in case of just this situation, strong enough to overcome the small amount of drugs or crafty enough to switch the drinks when she wasn't looking.

She's wanting to date Batman, is what I'm saying.

Otisburg posted:

thought you were going princess bride with this one

paco650 posted:

Taking odds on whether this bald-faced motherfucker's first and only reference for Tsukuyomi is an anime or manga, and which one is it: YuGiOh, or Naruto.

computer parts posted:

Oh btw, the pics on this one are not what you expect, which is partially why I posted it.

Captain Yossarian posted:

Nah dude black people loving LOVE naruto I don't get it, but its science

calvus posted:

Not sure why but a lot of black people seem really into anime

calvus posted:

Not sure why but a lot of black people seem really into anime

calvus posted:

Not sure why but a lot of black people seem really into anime

Profondo Rosso posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DW31upNEEg

calvus posted:

Not sure why but a lot of black people seem really into anime

quote:

My self-summary
Fair warning, I am not like many people in the vaguest of senses. I highly value compassion, kindness, authenticity, sensitivity, creativity and humility over competition, violence, money, ego, institutionally academic achievements or status.

Also, this is a long and complicated profile that I know roughly 95% of all people landing on this profile won't bother to read and I'm not the least bit sorry about it (I like to be precise about what I am trying to communicate).

If I liked your profile, no need to do anything, it's just my way of saying I personally think you're awesome.

Personality: I and many others would describe my personality as the mix of Gir from Invader Zim, Daria Morgendorffer from Daria, Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice and Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter....if you can imagine such a strange combination.

If you want to get into type theory (which has it's flaws), I'm a INFJ on the Myers-Briggs scale and my enneagram tritype is 4-5-9 from what I can gather.

Semi-monogamous Hopeless Romantic: The ultimate goal/dream is to find someone compatible enough to settle down with, maybe even more than 1 someone if my life goes that way. In the meantime however, I am perfectly fine with being single, chatting with or befriending people.

I'm going to be honest here at risk of coming off as too much of an idealist. Monogamy feels like a social prison to me 99.9% of the time. I am open to the idea of monogamy with the right person, but I sincerely require a LOT of affection, sex, mentally stimulating conversations, effective and clear communication, as well has having common interests we are both passionate about and life goals if I am to be content with my serious relationships - if not within one partner, then within multiple partners.

Trans*/Agender: I don't believe in gender or gender roles. I use "they/them/their" pronouns. If cock or pussy turns you off, nothing besides a platonic friendship is going to happen between us, seeing as how I have both.

Unashamed: I prefer to be as authentic as possible, even if being authentic has negative consequences. Being authentic is as important to me as breathing.

Here are some things you should know that I am not, and will not be made to feel ashamed about :

* I deal with the following mental illnesses: Depression, excoriation disorder, social anxiety and PTSD.

* I deal with the following physical illnesses: HSV-1, HPV, visual impairment (legally blind, colorblind, photosensitive, etc.), scoliosis, a weak ankle and flat feet.

* I'm poor and currently on a fixed income. This means, no fancy dinners, expensive movie tickets, etc. - unless you want to purchase those things, they aren't really my thing anyways. Free/cheap dates are all you are going to get from me.

* I'm a zoophile/zoosexual, or "zoo" for short. I've been attracted to non-human animals since I could feel attraction to anyone. Yes, I'm still attracted to people, but it's about 50/50.

NO, I don't give a flying gently caress if you think this is "hot", stop asking for erotic videos, stories and pictures! It's disrespectful! Would you ask a complete stranger on the street for such things? Then why would you ask me - a complete stranger on the internet?

NO, I have no evil plans to befriend you and sex up your pets when you aren't watching, my orientation isn't a mental illness (I should know, I am studying psychology after all!) and I am not a meth or crack user who can't get laid by a human being (not that getting laid should be a standard we hold people to anyways). Please stop believing everything mainstream media has to say about people who don't fit western society's mold for "normal", your tube-fed thoughts are rotting your neurons and making you think ignorant things that harm other people.

* My body is squishy, has plenty of tiger stripes (stretch marks), has plenty of scars, has body hair and otherwise defies western beauty standards. You want to date/gently caress a model? You're on the wrong profile.

Agnostic Atheist: I've gone through Christianity (baptism, catholicism), wicca and LaVeyan Satanism growing up. As an adult, I am now an Agnostic Atheist. Don't worry, I'm not a militant Atheist until you use your religion as an excuse to hurt others. Religions should always be highly personal and not a tool to hurt others.

Moral Philosopher: Philosophy is a very interesting topic, and so is ethics. It is extremely important to me that I feel I am doing the right thing, whatever that is at the time. I often think about various states of oppression and what I can do to help others.

History: A fair warning to curious minds - I have a history chock full of pain, death, tragedy, abuse, violence, bullying, etc. If you want to ask me about my history, prepare to potentially get depressed.

Sensitive: I am what is known as a highly sensitive person. I cry during the sad parts in movies. People treating other people like crap makes me feel like they are treating me like crap personally and makes me not want to be around those people anymore. If you are one of those people who is proud to be an rear end in a top hat or thinks that you are better than others, we won't be getting along and you'll probably get the boot rather quickly because being around you hurts and is highly depressing for me.

Autodidact: I'm a high school...or rather middle school drop-out. I dropped out due to the hostile/boring environment I was forced to participate in. That does not mean I am uneducated, I have learned most of the academic knowledge I know just from the internet and reading books. I can't do calculus yet, but I can clearly answer science and logic questions correctly on here, so I must be doing something correct.

Cook: I'm not a gourmet chef nor can I afford all the fancy ingredients and cookware that would make a portland foodie giddy like a 5yo. with a pony, but I can make cheap ingredients (and on occasion, not so cheap ingredients) taste pretty damned good according to everyone who eats my cooking.

Open-minded: Being open minded to me means being able to accept and respect other people as they are. I cannot with a clear conscience say that I agree with belittling others simply because their perspective is different than mine, no matter how offensive the person is. Having an open mind also allows me to try on the metaphorical shoes of others at will.

Hopeful Cynic: Dealing with the violent and hostile people in my past and looking at how most people think and behave today, I can't help but remain cynical even though my cynicism lessens over time. I really appreciate when I do see kindness though, because it gives me hope that humanity isn't dooming itself into oblivion.

Stinky_Pete posted:

because even the Japanese are white-centric

LethalGeek posted:

Did I find a doozy, bits snipped for not being funny:

LethalGeek posted:

I'm a zoophile/zoosexual, or "zoo" for short. I've been attracted to non-human animals since I could feel attraction to anyone. Yes, I'm still attracted to people, but it's about 50/50.

drat horror queefs posted:

Finally a fat, herpes-ridden ladyboy furry to call my own

loquacius posted:

I wonder how successful "I am not attractive so if you want someone attractive I guess this isn't the profile for you" actually is at shaming people into lowering their standards

Marketing New Brain posted:

Probably worse than saying nothing, since they don't even give you the opportunity to delude yourself into thinking they are fuckable.

calvus posted:

How are they white-centric?

calvus posted:

How are they white-centric?

amusinginquiry posted:

People get mad because animes look too white

drat horror queefs posted:

calvus posted:

How are they white-centric?

cyberia posted:

Hmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmmmery hmm. Surely admitting to using drugs on this public internet profile while I'm going through a divorce and custody battle will not hurt me in any way. No sirree, not at all

computer parts posted:

Oh btw, the pics on this one are not what you expect, which is partially why I posted it.

Shumagorath posted:

If the mom doesn't have custody that ship has probably sailed.

LethalGeek posted:

Did I find a doozy, bits snipped for not being funny:

Frackie Robinson posted:

Feel like I'm really honing my game since I moved to West Virginia

Frackie Robinson posted:

Feel like I'm really honing my game since I moved to West Virginia

Otisburg posted:

Look up when the next big sports contest for this team is and invite this person to meet you at the local sports bar to enjoy it together.

Then use the resulting emotional high/low from the victory/loss to celebrate/console each other.

paco650 posted:

Honestly, at what point do you stop writing out your profile and just shut it down because, clearly, other human beings just aren't for you?

I feel like this is a trap. Is this a trap profile? Do they have a tumblr somewhere where they post like a Best Of the messages this piece of work doubtlessly generates?

computer parts posted:

Oh btw, the pics on this one are not what you expect, which is partially why I posted it.

computer parts posted:

Oh btw, the pics on this one are not what you expect, which is partially why I posted it.