ullerrm posted:

Ecco the Dolphin fanfic

Siets posted:

Eonwe will you come to my stalwart quadposting defense the next time someone calls me a Mean Name on the Something Awful dot Com forums?

Vendictus Prime posted:

Holy poo poo!! all this over Internet spaceships!

Kazak_Hstan posted:

It has recently come to my attention that sometimes people get called names in online video games.

Unfunny Poster posted:

Now imagine when this game actually dies the death it's deserved for years.

Numismancer posted:

Lots of not-in-GSF folks posting up a storm, sorry this didn't work out for you the way you had hoped~

OWLS! posted:

Unironically not shitposting here, would tip one out if it ever happened. Might swing by the monument if I ever go to Reykjavík, there were some good times.

Reverand maynard posted:

No one is going out and say, scouting ratting carriers then finding WH route to go kill them because that doesn't get rewarded. No one is getting awox alts into BNI then leading ratter killing fleets. As such the types of groups that would do fun things aren't joining and you wind up with FA cast offs that show up on fleets but are dull as a bricks.

Numismancer posted:

I try, thanks!

One of the nice things about metrics, numbers and ~accountability~ is that we can chart our success by people voting with their feet, and as our numbers continue to grow it's much easier to shrug off howling when the data contradicts it. So we know Elysium has been hugely popular, that Harpyfleets had people saying they loved them yet not actually flying them in practice, etc.

Unfunny Poster posted:

True, I still like it but CCP are certainly well....CCP, and I like a lot of people from there.

Glory of Arioch posted:

uhhhhhhhh

what are SIGs

what is The Initiative., literally the entire alliance

etc

Unfunny Poster posted:

Querns I have a quick question since you or someone else will know this. Why are there like three different The Initaitive groups? Initiative, Initiative Mercenaries, etc?

Vendictus Prime posted:

and based on Sion's tone on the Meta Show, Saturday, they are not changing anytime soon.

Eonwe posted:

is calling someone mentally ill good

y/n

Wulfling posted:

Hey Citizen Rat, how's your trekking going in Boston? Find anything interesting to shoot lately?

Hazdoc posted:

you're mentally ill
now i expect to see you post up a storm about how loving awful i am for saying that

Eonwe posted:

why can i not buy an eve online cash-in book yet

did reddit ruin that or something

feedmegin posted:

Dude there are two Eve novels already. They're both p bad.

feedmegin posted:

Dude there are two Eve novels already. They're both p bad.

Eonwe posted:

i want to buy a the mittani one

quote:

INT. SOME SORT OF GEEK/LAWYER HYBRID'S LOVELY HOUSE - WINTER IN CHICAGO - NIGHT
A party is in progress. Party is loosely defined here as it is 98% ugly men consuming alcohol and wiping cocktail sauce from their 4XL black t-shirts. Loose groups of chatting nerds are throughout the house. Camera pans in on a small group gathered around THE MITTANI who is talking of sabres.
He has his audience of two or three fawning nerds entranced. Although other conversations nearby are loud and filled with emoticons actually being spoken aloud, MITTANI'S voice is clearly heard with impeccable enunciation.
Having finished regaling another group with some sort of fabricated story, DBRB enters view from left and joins the half circle around MITTANI who is casually leaning against the wall, one leg drawn up, balancing on the other; a common pre-larp/pre-gothic dance stretching exercise for him. He continues his explanation:
MITTANI (smugly) ....which is why AWU V is particularily important on this sabre fit. Furthermore, it frees up...
DBRB (interrupts abruptly) Yeah, I did that in Cloud Ring last year. I used that sabre fit and just absolutely raped....
MITTANI (flicker of annoyance briefly flashes across his face, but he almost instantly recovers, his face settling upon an absolutely blank expression, a certain steeliness is still visible in his eyes.) (coldly) Excuse me, DBRB?
DBRB (surprised to be cut short during another stupid loving story, but smiles at his beloved CEO) Yes, Mittens?
MITTANI (emotionless) Do me a big favor, please, and perform fellatio on me.
Small giggle from nerd listening in.
DBRB (confused) What?
MITTANI (leans towards DBRB) I (pause) want (pause) YOU (emphasis, pause) to suck my cock until I cum into your mouth.
DBRB nervously laughs. Nearby conversations taper out as more nerds turn to listen to this fresh development.
MITTANI (voice, still coldly robotic, increases in volume) I'm quite serious. In fact, if you don't start sucking me, and well, mind you, you will become permabanned and booted from Goonswarm this very night. This very loving night. And not one of our allies will accept you. You will be blacklisted. Your experience in EVE will effectively end, reducing your small real life to almost nothing.
As this is being said, DBRB'S face undergoes much emotional turmoil, running the gamut of fear to abject horror until finally settling on a nervous smile, for this exchange reminded him of his wrestling days, when his team mates would mash his face into their buttocks and groins in homoerotic, but joking and playful, displays of bonding and friendship. DBRB has decided this is just such an instance of the same type.
MITTANI drops his other leg to the floor, and stands straight.
MITTANI (sudden anger) Stop smiling, fat man! I'm serious. Get on your knees now.
DBRB laughs and drops ponderously to his knees, looking left and right, catching the eyes of a now substantial crowd of goons. He is letting them know, by his compliance, that he is in on the "joke".
DBRB Har Har Har. How much iskies do I get?
MITTANI (snarls) Shut the gently caress up! (face becomes calm again, continues in a quiet, cold tone) Now, undo my pants.
DBRB'S face is now flushed in embarrassment. His eyes dart up to the faces of the crowd of nerds, who are watching this in shock. His mind races, trying to come to terms with what was happening here. He stammers.
MITTANI (quietly, with much menace) Boat, take my cock out and put it in your mouth.
DBRB'S eyes widen like some sort of obese deer trapped in headlights. Tears collect in their lower rims as he slowly reaches up and unfastens MITTANI'S belt. Our CEO watches this, impassive.
TAMIR LENK (shouts from the back row of watching nerds) I have a room for this, you know.
MITTANI (eyes never leaving DBRB) Continue.
DBRB unfastens the button of MITTANI'S jeans and slowly draws the zipper down, tears streaming down his flushed face. He reaches in and pulls out a fully engorged, shaved penis and scrotum. It pulses, its purple head moving slightly up and down in front of DBRB'S face.
DBRB (weakly) Please....
MITTANI Suck it, Boat, or you're out.
DBRB, sobbing now, grasps the veiny member and inserts it into his mouth. He begins to move his head back and forth gently, without closing his mouth fully. MITTANI grabs the back of DBRB'S head and forces his cock all the way in, causing DBRB to choke. Recovering, DBRB begins to suck the penis, building a rhythm that MITTANI reciprocates, rocking his hips to ensure proper depth.
At this time, most of the crowd stands aghast at the spectacle unfolding in front of them. Open mouthed and speechless, they bear witness to this display. Some few turn away disgusted, while a couple stand rapt, flushed and sweaty, visibly aroused.
While DBRB continues his blow job, his muffled sobs heard through the dick in his mouth, MITTANI turns his gaze away from his oral servicing, looks at the nerds he was speaking with earlier, and continues as if his penis is not currently being sucked.
MITTANI Of course, we are talking autocannons here, not artillery. Artillery is king in my Alpha Fleet, but on small gang (turns briefly to DBRB and snaps) LESS TEETH! (turns his head back to the nerds) pvp you can get amazing dps out of this dictor. In fact, with the proper damage implants..(stops abruptly)
At this time THE MITTANI cums into DBRB'S mouth. As MITTANI remains expressionless and silent during his orgasm, we are shown that it has occurred due to a brief spasming of his buttocks, and the fact that DBRB begins to choke and gag. MITTANI withdraws his swiftly shrinking member from DBRB'S mouth and suddenly slaps him full across the face. DBRB reels from the blow and involuntarily swallows.
MITTANI (quietly, suddenly peaceful) Leave me. (begins to fasten his pants)
DBRB stumbles to his feet and blindly, sobbing, pushes through the shocked crowd. He breaks free, all eyes upon him, and enters the bathroom, desperate to remove the bitter, cheesy taste from his mouth, and to escape from view. He slams the door, locks it, and rushes the sink. He turns the faucet on and begins to slurp water into his mouth, trying to become clean again. As his eyes clear of tears, and numbness sets in, he turns to something catching his eye near the toilet. There, written in marker on the top sheet of toilet paper, are the words "The Mittani Sends His Regards."
SCENE

Ckwiesr posted:

Hahaha, you've got to be kidding.


Please be kidding..

Reverand maynard posted:

Really this whole current state of the CFC is a result of a complete emphasis of space empire over fun, and I don't mean BNI version of losing fights, but just being space bullies outside of like weirdly scripted events. we have burn jita and miniluv but it seems kinda.. 'forced' and fun stuff like going awoxing doesn't really happen organically anymore.

Rhymenoserous posted:

Who gives a poo poo what reddit thinks?

I'm pretty sure that most of the directorate is normal dudes, some of whom are assholes sure.

Glory of Arioch posted:

that'll be $150,000 please

Hazdoc posted:

you're mentally ill
now i expect to see you post up a storm about how loving awful i am for saying that

Bilirubin posted:

Citizen Rat posted:

what

though I am also in the not-in-GSF crew so I should probably also see myself out

OWLS! posted:

Haaaazdooooc.That's not nice.

ullerrm posted:

Just in the last few days I've been going out in CD gangs. I've formed up for random roams of hurricanes to go troll elitepvpers with massed alpha. Since we now live two jumps away from FW lowsec, we've been using the navy mauluses and their +4 scrams to gently caress with russian farmers, and they call us all sorts of poo poo in local. I mean, poo poo, Dod Kalm's literally doing nightly random roams in gangs of 7-8 small ships, and it's loving fun.

Eonwe posted:

i dont want you guys to get probated, doing the gas emote is a 1 day probation usually

if you check my rap sheet you can even see an example, failed the gas chamber challenge