Aphrodite posted:

Yeah but that's only because they're usually on fire, have a high mortality rate, and have trouble starting up when there's wind.

I forget who posted this posted:

lmao everyone forgot how to build planes

like in 50 years they're going to proudly introduce the F-300 by having a team of oxen pull it out of the hangar and then enthusiastically describe its many features while it bursts into flames behind them

cock hero flux posted:

lmao the US spent trillions developing stealth and the first time they started using F-117 stealth planes in combat they were defeated by yugoslavia

after all the time and effort and especially money they spent on stealth you can't pretend it works when a fat serbian man is keeping a chunk of stealth fighter in his garage as a trophy

Subjunctive posted:

That was the guy who dropped some winners on the beginning of the F-35 thread. Joe something? Cited in the previous version of the thread.

Nope, cock hero flux: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3627558&pagenumber=12&perpage=40#post428652825

My favorite from that thread:

Persona non grata posted:

Flight Lieutenant Kip Touchdown wouldn't take a last look at the picture of his sweetheart that he kept taped to the inoperative cloaking machine console. The Somali hot air balloon had manoeuvred into a firing position and Dalmar's spear struck through the canopy into the back of Kip's skull.

Effectronica posted:

Captain Jack "Joe" Johnson III pissed himself and let out a stream of cusses as the terrain-following radar crashed just as he entered his attack run. The Congolese oxcart convoy was still 500 feet away through some of the most mildly rugged terrain on Earth. He yanked back and forth on the joystick like he was back in the dorms at Columbia, and managed to pull up before hitting a molehill. The AESA started playing elevator music, which informed him of hostiles. According to the board it was an enemy seagull armed with 2 Sidewinder missiles. Then he nearly hit a rosebush and there was no time to think. The convoy was upon him. He pulled the trigger and his canopy filled with the images from the TVG bombs. He started sobbing, and managed to cancel out and arm the bombs just as the enemy Cessna unloaded his revolver into the F-35's engine. Then he knew nothing. The bombs, meanwhile, proved to be duds.

Indolent Bastard posted:

more than 100 titles available by the end of 2016, including Minecraft

MINECRAFT? I can hardly wait.

Saint Freak posted:

Ouya said this same thing once.

YA BOY ETHAN COUCH posted:

can't wait for newer more futuristic ways to janitor my rig

*gestures in the air wildly like in minority report, but the gesture does something mundane like defrag the disc, which is quantum*

mysterious frankie posted:

You think the rift is good now but wait until the first time you're in a 3D porno, getting real close to a butthole, to check it out. Closer, closer, but wait the camera man didn't film as close to the butthole as you've gotten; "ERROR ERROR ERROR" comes thundering out of the glitching hole as your brain overloads and leaks out your ears onto the t shirt you got for free from Spiceworks. Sometime later when the emt pries the goggles from your head he gasps; where once were eyes now are two stinky puckered holes. Butt holes.

holocaust bloopers posted:

Shifty Pony posted:

Japan's pussy censorship has gone too far.

The Iron Rose posted:

Goons, what the gently caress do I do. I mean, obviously, but how the gently caress do I do that and still be able to sleep at night.

gentle pete posted:

I know it seems like a callous thing to say, but you're not responsible for her behaviour. You should read this - I found it really helpful when I was in a similar situationNear constant flatulence that has a smell so powerful to me that I risk cumming on particularly strong farts. In addition I can't hold them back for more than 10 minutes at most; if I try then it'll practically explode out my rear end, soil my pants a bit, and of course make me cream them like I was edging for a whole day.

The thing is, it becomes oddly easier to hold it if I somehow manage to keep them contained past that threshold point (I.e. industrial butt plugs) but if they're held in for over an hour I can't fart for a week. Instead, my cock farts instead of cumming (but the cum is still built up in my balls) and my body odor becomes my farts. My breath is of course foul to everyone but me. The result is if I hold it in too long, I become a perpetually aroused, sporadically ejaculating filth hound.

gentle pete posted:

Uh, whoops. I copypasted the wrong thing. Looks like I can't edit my post.... I meant to link this. http://www.heartspiritmind.com/relationships/codependency/

YeahTubaMike posted:

YeahTubaMike posted:

Moon Slayer posted:

Holy poo poo this had me laughing harder than that time somebody kept accidentally posting his workout log in an abortion debate thread over and over.

Moon Slayer posted:

Holy poo poo this had me laughing harder than that time somebody kept accidentally posting his workout log in an abortion debate thread over and over.

SLAMMYsosa posted:

back in November two of my (former) coworkers got in a brake cleaner fight, each dual wielding sure shots, just like standing still spraying a constant stream of brakleen at each other's dicks, and then one of them put down his empty sprayers, walked to his tool box, grabbed his camel lights, then produced a lighter from his pocket and flicked it once I guess to test it before he went outside to smoke and just from the spark he was immediately completely engulfed in flames and ran around screaming and flailing his arms while one dude sprayed him with a hose and some of us got him on the ground and tried to pat it out but he was on fire for at least a full minute before all of the brakleen cooked off of him

one guy was just wailing on the dude's dick the entire time because, as he lated explained, he was just thinking how much he would hate to have his own dick burned off and it was where the highest concentration of the brake cleaner was but it was great because at one point the guy who was on fire was literally like trying to defend himself from the dick slapping guy. like dude is completely on fire but was still more concerned with getting his dick wailed on. pretty good stuff

the singular most stupid thing I have ever seen in my life but at least now I know what burning human flesh smells like

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

mind the walrus posted:

Yeah this sounds hilarious and I missed it. Someone please throw it up.

Phlegmish posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3543702&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=5#post414408653

It's a kind of magic that only happens every now and then.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Phlegmish posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3543702&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=5#post414408653

It's a kind of magic that only happens every now and then.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Belisarius6 posted:

I was (and still am) a serious student of military history, with a special interest in the Eastern Front in WWII. There's lots of corroborating evidence supporting the German claim that their attack on the Soviet Union was a necessary preemptive strike. The best, most complete, argument defending this possibility, in my opinion, is presented in a very readable book titled "Icebreaker" by a Russian historian who calls himself 'Suvorov. You can download the PDF copy of the book at http://justice4germans.com/2012/11/11/who-started-world-war-ii-the-answer-is-not-as-simple-as-we-have-been-led-to-believe/

Splode posted:

let me be the first to say I saw "justice for germans dot come" and Not clicking that link

team overhead smash posted:

The article on their front page is titled: "The Real Holocaust Victims Were the Victims of British Firebombing in World War II"

The tagline for the website at the top is "Exploring the little known, but true history of National Socialism, Hitler and WWII, what was really behind it, and seeking truth, justice and honour for the German people"

Here's an example of one of their articles:

Adolf Hitler: An Overlooked Candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize posted:

lenoon posted:

I guess an occasional salutary reminder that the grog world is divided into two groups:

People like us who really enjoy ridiculously in depth games of strategy and planning.

and

Hitler apologists

Cythereal posted:

They're called wehraboos, and can typically be summoned by raising the fact that the Panther and Tiger tanks were at best mixed bags and didn't impress Allied and Soviet forces that encountered them.

Belisarius6 posted:

I'm stunned at the reaction I've received for my link to Suvorov's "Icebreaker". The only reason I used the "Justice4Germans" website was because my Google search showed it had the book available online. I never stated support for Nazism - in fact I immediately followed up my first comment with a statement that Hitler was going to attack the Soviet Union regardless of any provocation or threat. Yet forum participants are all over me for being a Nazi sympathizer. Someone changed my avatar, I'm assuming the moderator himself, to a cum covered Iron Cross. What the hell? This is why the U.S. is collapsing before our eyes - nobody's willing to make a serious effort at understanding any viewpoint that differs from their own - even when that viewpoint is, all in all, very much the same.

kelvron posted:

LPs of super-grognardy WWII strategy games will derail for no reason into theoretical history. And because it's an LP, Something Awful gets new members.

And then there's this.


Goons react:

Mel Mudkiper posted:

You are an unfunny vanilla white noise posting waste of loving life and the sheer effort you put into being worthless is almost admirable if only because it would be easier to do something or anything worth reading even once in your entire time here you loving abyss

14 INCH DEVITO posted:

Finally, someone who truly gets me

Volume posted:

Context: Occulus Rift

Somfin posted:

How do you keep growing

14 INCH DEVITO posted:

Finally, someone who truly gets me

System Metternich posted:

Now this makes me think what other posts/threads on this forum have made me laugh that hard as well


- the one crazy lady who claimed to have multiple personalities, one of them being a snarky rear end in a top hat called "Lucifer Gucifer"

Somfin posted:

How do you keep growing

Trig Discipline posted:

the way my family plays, we allow players to bundle their monopolies into tranches. we then auction pieces of those tranches to other players, who get a small chunk of money any time sone lands on one of those properties and has to pay rent. players can then combine their tranches with other bits of tranches they own into a new security that they then auction off to other players at will, paying some portion of their dividends downstream. now here's where it gets interesting: players can borrow against the value of their securities in order to build houses and hotels on theor property, so that they drive rents higher. they can then borrow against those houses and hotels in order to buy or improve other properties they own. other players can then buy insurance against those loans failing, so that they get a large chunk of that player's money when the player goes bankrupt. eventually the whole system gets so complicated that one person lands on free parking and therefore fails to pay anybody rent for a single turn, which causes a cascading series of failed payments and drives everybody bankrupt. but at the end of the game the bank gives everyone their money back, we euthanize the dog, and then we set fire to our Risk game board

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Brawnfire posted:

Australians don't even sound like that anymore, now they mostly sound like a rectum full of jagged teeth yawning in morse code

Moola posted:

Microwaves Mom posted:

A Jew Goldburn Machine

cram me sideways posted:

yes well it's all very good that YOU have a deep personal history with bowie, but what matters is MY deep personal history, which is in no meaningful way different or more interesting than yours, but i'm talking now and also i can get louder and uhm space oddity

cram me sideways posted:

you: i will miss you david!!!!!

*ghost of david materializes in front of u*

david: i never knew you, and if you were on fire i wouldn't have pissed on you to douse the flames. you are deeply incorrect to me and i'm better for having never, ever known you

cram me sideways posted:

*pushes deviantart engine out of the garage and pulls on ripcord. thousands of maudlin, boring tributes begin spewing out*

oh look, here's one where he's a jedi; how novel