Powerball is 1.3 Billion Dollars

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cram me sideways: Apr 26, 2015

lol there's actually an argument itt that if you don't play powerball then ur a filthy poor

goooooooooooooooons

# ? Jan 11, 2016 00:36

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 21:08

Samuel L. ACKSYN: Feb 29, 2008

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Only 6 states let you do it anonymously. What people do is set up llcs that receive the money so their personal info isn't public , but I think they still require you to pick up the novelty giant check in person. Basically if you win you're gonna have a whole lot of friends you never knew you had.

could you do the llc thing and then when you pick it up in person, just hire one of those johnny knoxville bad grandpa-type makeup artists to make you look way different

and maybe wear a fat suit if ur skinny

so everyone will be looking for a rich fat old guy instead of u

# ? Jan 11, 2016 00:49

VR Native American: May 1, 2009; Gun Saliva

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

could you do the llc thing and then when you pick it up in person, just hire one of those johnny knoxville bad grandpa-type makeup artists to make you look way different

and maybe wear a fat suit if ur skinny

so everyone will be looking for a rich fat old guy instead of u

You would still have to use your real name if you went in person.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 00:52

Samuel L. ACKSYN: Feb 29, 2008

VR Native American posted:

You would still have to use your real name if you went in person.

ok but do the thing i said and then also have a sorta generic name

# ? Jan 11, 2016 00:53

a_gelatinous_cube: Feb 13, 2005

Accretionist posted:

Don't be like Jack Whittaker:

Thanks. This article made me decide not to play any lottos at all anymore. Gonna spend those extra $2 a week on cheeseburgers or something.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 00:58

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

If any of you win and can't handle the impending pressure, DON'T PANIC, I will happily take that ticket off your hands and publicly declare, then secretly give you half. I do this, because I am a good person, who is always looking for a way to help.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 01:06

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

jon joe posted:

If any of you win and can't handle the impending pressure, DON'T PANIC, I will happily take that ticket off your hands and publicly declare, then secretly give you half. I do this, because I am a good person, who is always looking for a way to help.

Same, but I will only take 45% because I'm an even better person.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 01:08

Zogo: Jul 29, 2003

Microwaves Mom posted:

Yeah there's no way I'd ever let anyone know I won it. Thank god for lawyers.

When I win and my LLC lawyer goes on TV he will probably be kidnapped and tortured for a few days before body parts are found across the country. :rip:

Inzombiac posted:

What special feature will your house have?
Mine would be a theater and a cinema. I'd have a huge library of movies and hire a local acting troupe to perform whatever they wanted.

I thought about that but then remembered the evil poor person building my home theater would stick a box of dynamite underneath my leather seat to explode and steal my hard earned MONEY!

Microwaves Mom posted:

Where do you even store that much money? Aren't like most banks limited to the amount of money you can invest with them?

This is 206 million.

I could fit that and much more in my basement.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 01:54

Ace of Baes: Jul 7, 1977

I dont think your likelyhood of getting murdered or kidnapped is as high as you guys think.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 01:56

rabble rabble: Mar 24, 2015; Nap Ghost

no all the tales are true, it's why rich people are constantly hounded and accosted in the streets, like bankers and stuff

what? you mean that literally never happens? that's weird, must be something specific about the kind of person who is likely to win the lottery hrmmmmmm

# ? Jan 11, 2016 01:59

Zogo: Jul 29, 2003

boom boom boom posted:

Could they send a lawyer or someone acting as a representative?

Yes, in the past some have done that.

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

could you do the llc thing and then when you pick it up in person, just hire one of those johnny knoxville bad grandpa-type makeup artists to make you look way different

and maybe wear a fat suit if ur skinny

so everyone will be looking for a rich fat old guy instead of u

This is a good idea. Going to buy one of those very realistic masks that cost thousands of dollars. Maybe this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P_FJRduLYY

Also, going to carry an M60 machine gun and a cyanide pill on me just in case.

Microwaves Mom posted:

My old man messaged me today saying that if the lotto didn't win tonight to let him know he thinks he has some "numbers as a message from above"...

I thought even he was immune from this poo poo, but I guess when we're talking about a billion dollars everyone starts to get a little bit loopy.

I had a vision earlier today. A smiling, friendly old man came up to me and said that only I was responsible enough to manage this much $$$. I'm like Frodo and the ring in LOTR.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:03

Jst0rm: Sep 16, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Accretionist posted:

Oh, underlying the sense of impending doom would be a great deal of zest and moxie, I assure you.

Edit:

This is how you get Whittaker-ed.

Don't be like Jack Whittaker:

This is why If you win you set up a trust to take the winnings and keep your name out of it. That guys problem is he became known as a winner.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:03

Black Baby Goku: Apr 2, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

I'm gonna win on Wednesday

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:05

Jst0rm: Sep 16, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Black Baby Goku posted:

I'm gonna win on Wednesday

please give me 10 million. Thank you.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:07

rabble rabble: Mar 24, 2015; Nap Ghost

here's how you can win the lottery, be known, and still have a luxurious lifestyle with minimal problems: don't live in bumfuck west virginia, move to a real city

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:13

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

Black Baby Goku posted:

I'm gonna win on Wednesday

drat, I thought I was going to win.
Congrats, buddy!

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:20

praxis: Aug 1, 2003

rabble rabble posted:

here's how you can win the lottery, be known, and still have a luxurious lifestyle with minimal problems: don't live in bumfuck west virginia, move to a real city

Sure, that's what those big city thugs want you to think.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:30

Fame Douglas: Nov 20, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:54

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Fame Douglas posted:

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:55

BouncingBuckyBalls: Feb 15, 2011

Fame Douglas posted:

If anyone believes this look at the 35. It was cut and pasted in oddly. These joke tickets always comes up on big draws where someone lost by one digit on all numbers.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:57

Fame Douglas: Nov 20, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

BouncingBuckyBalls posted:

If anyone believes this look at the 35. It was cut and pasted in oddly. These joke tickets always comes up on big draws where someone lost by one digit on all numbers.

Guess the 14 looks dubious as well.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 02:57

Jst0rm: Sep 16, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Fame Douglas posted:

Guess the 14 looks dubious as well.

Still funny

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:05

Marv Hushman: Jun 2, 2010; Freedom Ain't Free

ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:

If I send you guys some money can you mail me back the 1.3 billion dollars when I win?

If I said yes, would you believe me?
- Ed, The Disappearer

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:06

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

I hit the match 5 jackpot after only 16 thousand years on the simulator! No powerball jackpot though.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:10

Tots: Sep 3, 2007

Maybe this is all a tax related political play and no one will ever win the jackpot and it'll just disappear in a month

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:17

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Tots posted:

Maybe this is all a tax related political play and no one will ever win the jackpot and it'll just disappear in a month

State, local and federal governments are already going to take about 70% of the jackpot with the lump sum option.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:20

Blind Rasputin: Nov 25, 2002; Farewell, good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

Are presidents, politicians, presidential candidates allowed to play? Donald trump please win the powerball. You're the winner America deserves.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:25

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

Pawn 17 posted:

State, local and federal governments are already going to take about 70% of the jackpot with the lump sum option.

Not if you live in Texas. No state tax on lottery here.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:27

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

Blind Rasputin posted:

Are presidents, politicians, presidential candidates allowed to play? Donald trump please win the powerball. You're the winner America deserves.

If I don't (deservedly!) win, I'm hoping its someone like Charlie Sheen who wins. Would be pretty funny IMHO

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:30

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Blind Rasputin posted:

Are presidents, politicians, presidential candidates allowed to play? Donald trump please win the powerball. You're the winner America deserves.

Watch some Trump supporter mail their winning ticket to Trump so he can get on stage and talk about how he's gonna win the Presidential Election, too.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 03:37

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

If I win I'm legally changing my name to John Smith, growing a beard, claiming the prize.. Doing all that poo poo on the arfcom post, and then buying one of these and driving it around the world until I get bored.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoHBHEmv79M

Good luck finding me/murdering me, bitches!

Also my non-wife/kid family can gently caress all the way off, they aren't getting poo poo from me.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 04:15

Fiend: Dec 2, 2001

naem posted:

Mine craft is really fun though it's ok

Mein Kampf, not so much.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 04:23

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

could you do the llc thing and then when you pick it up in person, just hire one of those johnny knoxville bad grandpa-type makeup artists to make you look way different

and maybe wear a fat suit if ur skinny

so everyone will be looking for a rich fat old guy instead of u

I plan on dressing up as the Zodiac killer when I pick up my check.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 04:39

Tots: Sep 3, 2007

If I win I'm gonna buy new silver ware.

Tots fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Jan 11, 2016

# ? Jan 11, 2016 04:42

No. 6: Jun 30, 2002

I'm gonna cut up my face with a razor and walk out bloody with hanging, flapping flesh to collect my check.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 04:44

Turtle Sandbox: Dec 31, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

rabble rabble posted:

here's how you not live in literal hell: don't live in bumfuck west virginia, move to a real city

Solid advice.

# ? Jan 11, 2016 04:45

Zogo: Jul 29, 2003

OctoberBlues posted:

Also, say it ends up being $1.5 billion or so. What would you actually get if you took cash after all of the taxes and whatnot? like $500 million? Hardly worth it imo

Let's get down to brass tacks. According to my calculations EV is finally in positive territory (even after the gov't/lottery fat cats/political goons take 50% of it).

code:

Numbers	    Annuity	Prize - Cost	Probability	(Prize - Cost) * Probability
MY TICKET   $650000000	$649999998	0.0000000034	$2.209
5w	    $500000	$499998	        0.0000000856	$0.042
4w 1r	    $25000	$24998		0.0000010951	$0.027
4w	    $50		$48		0.0000273784	$0.001
3w 1r	    $50		$48		0.0000689935	$0.003
3w	    $3.5	$1.5		0.0017248517	$0.002
2w 1r       $3.5	$1.5		0.0014258623	$0.002
1w 1r	    $2		$0		0.0108719287	$0
1r	    $2		$0		0.0260960334	$0
YOUR TICKET $0		$-2		0.9597837679	$-1.91
				
			Expected Value =		$0.37

Translation: buy as many tickets as possible.

soy posted:

If I win I'm legally changing my name to John Smith, growing a beard, claiming the prize.. Doing all that poo poo on the arfcom post, and then buying one of these and driving it around the world until I get bored.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoHBHEmv79M

Good luck finding me/murdering me, bitches!

Also my non-wife/kid family can gently caress all the way off, they aren't getting poo poo from me.

I think I could afford having a tank stationed at the front and back of my house.

Zogo fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Jan 11, 2016

# ? Jan 11, 2016 05:01