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Aliquid posted:Greenbacks or greenfuck yourself William Jennings Bryan is going to give Debs a hell of a run for his money. I mean, hell, in 1900 he was even supported by the Anti-Imperialist League! That is SA as gently caress.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 08:55 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 14:38 |
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voted birn for Ghetto Prince posted:massive , Haitian style revolt. i think every state wouldve seceded multiple times on the valid grounds that an electorate consisting solely of ironists from centuries in the future was not the intent of the founding fathers oystertoadfish has issued a correction as of 10:05 on Feb 15, 2016 |
# ? Feb 15, 2016 10:03 |
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oystertoadfish posted:
So in our timeline, every four years a shadowy image appears in front of congress, declaring who will be President and Vice President for the next four years? Sounds awesome. We should make this canon. I wonder when the candidates will begin pandering to this mysterious Future Cabal that is holding an iron grip on their society. So far, they should have noticed that abolitionism is a good way to gain our favors, but alternative tactics like going full anti-mason or wishing to explore the hollow earth might work as well. How long untill one of them will figure out that the magical words to become President for lifetime are "Full Communism Now!"?
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 13:12 |
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Pakled posted:William Jennings Bryan is going to give Debs a hell of a run for his money. I mean, hell, in 1900 he was even supported by the Anti-Imperialist League! That is SA as gently caress. 1900 will have Debs v. Bryan v. Roosevelt v. John "end child labor now" Wooley v. Joseph "Abolish the Presidency" Maloney. It will be an interesting election.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 13:29 |
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It will be one of the better elections. Also, I can only assume that the more legitimate politicians end up in congress, and that Congress ends up winning the balance of powers as the goon overmind elects fringe maniacs and Full Communists to the executive, and the judiciary is toothless from the word go. We probably saw Washington as either president pro tempore or Speaker of the House to actually unite the nation with His Excellency.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 13:43 |
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You guys, you guys, hard cider. I mean, Jesus Christ guys, hard cider. Do you not understand what is at stake here? I mean, you can be all like 'I'm freeing the slaves' poo poo or 'I'm using tariff funds to create a series of internal improvements such as a national canal system' or whatever poo poo, but like, Harrison? Harrison is hard cider. All the time hard cider. How can you not hard cider, dudes? 1840 hard cider erryday
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 14:15 |
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I am big into expansionism and were better to expand than into the hollow earth? Manifest Destiny demands we seize the West and also the Down gentlegoons.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 14:59 |
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Voted for Tippecanoe because the past is obdurate and doesn't wish to be changed
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 15:03 |
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Eschers Basement posted:You guys, you guys, hard cider. Hard Cider? Hard Cider. Hard Cider. Hard Cider. Hard Cider. HARD CIDER. HARD CIDER GOOD. HARD CIDER AMERICAN. Haaaaaaaaarrrrrdddddd Ciiiidddeeeerrrrrr
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 15:26 |
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kalstrams posted:Talk about poo poo election, Briney/Earle '40, smdh. At least we've got a nice template to vote in now. BIRNEY SANDERS 1840
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 15:46 |
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This thread has literally been a more educational history experience than my years of US history class, including AP US History. Why is the state of history education so bad? Why is this thread so good? Unsurprisingly, these questions have lead me to vote for the abolitionist. Burn it all down.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 17:06 |
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GlyphGryph posted:This thread has literally been a more educational history experience than my years of US history class, including AP US History. Because we let Texas write our textbooks for some godawful reason.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 17:11 |
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Thump! posted:Because we let Texas write our textbooks for some godawful reason. Oil & blood gets a lot a people in one big state.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 17:18 |
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The day of reckoning is upon us! We will free the slaves, win the upcoming civil war and create a new country truly committed to the rights of all men! There is a businessman who has sold me a fine ewe, but has really impressed onto me the tragedy of Lovejoy's death. Sic semper tyrannis! BIRN IT DOWN
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 21:25 |
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Thump! posted:Because we let Texas write our textbooks for some godawful reason. Do they teach that Ronald Reagan killed Hitler with his bare hands? I imagine it that way.
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 21:33 |
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So, what way is the Order of the Cincinnati signaled to vote again? Asking for a friend. I'm a one issue voter, and that issue is "No Popery."
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# ? Feb 15, 2016 23:11 |
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Nebakenezzer posted:So, what way is the Order of the Cincinnati signaled to vote again? Asking for a friend. I have good news, friend. News about Freemasonry being a Papist conspiracy to destroy our country and our way of life. News of President Ellmaker being stopped at the moment of victory by their perfidious influence. Vote *flips coin* William Henry Harrison for a less Papist future. Not necessarily that much less Papist, since both he and Tyler are Episcopalian and therefore diet Catholics, but at least the founder of their church broke off with the Bishop of Rome because he wanted to divorce his wife nonlethally.
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# ? Feb 16, 2016 04:00 |
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Gentlemen, time is running out. Each day that passes without an American expedition digging vigorously to reach Terra's hollow core is another concession to the Vatican, the Freemasons, the Mohammedans; any and all of the barbaric hordes of the Old World are seeking to establish the seat of their one world government in the very heart of the Earth. We have toiled to let freedom ring across the New World, but the Newest World deep below us also yearns to hear that sweet liberty bell chime. Will you chime that bell with me, brothers? Or will you stand idly by while the center of all creation becomes a sweaty pit of papists, or worse? You know what to do. Johnson as Vice President is our only hope.
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# ? Feb 16, 2016 04:39 |
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GreyjoyBastard posted:I have good news, friend. News about Freemasonry being a Papist conspiracy to destroy our country and our way of life. News of President Ellmaker being stopped at the moment of victory by their perfidious influence. Egregious folly! I have voted, friends, choosing the van Buren-Johnson ticket. While I admit van Buren has made surprisingly few tirades against the Papacy and his illegitimate empire, I vote mostly for the sterling qualities of his VP, Johnson. A man with a common-law negro wife? The south will choke on its own bile as it vomits itself to death, leaving those pestelant lands to be re-settled by men not infected with racism's vile taint. (Also it makes me sad that if he was running today as a GOP candidate, his hollow earth ideas would be accepted, or at least ignored as long as they had some bullshit religious justification. But having a common-law wife, let alone a black common-law wife would sink him instantly.)
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# ? Feb 16, 2016 17:58 |
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QuoProQuid posted:Haaaaaaaaarrrrrdddddd Ciiiidddeeeerrrrrr Who the gently caress cares about education or freemasonry or hollow earths or slavery? haaaarrrrrrdddddddddd ciiiiiidddddddddeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr HARD CIDER hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaarrrrrdddddd CIDER You are seriously telling me that something other than being hosed up on hard cider 24/7 is more important to you seriously holy poo poo seriously
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# ? Feb 16, 2016 20:35 |
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Eschers Basement posted:
The only thing more important to me is getting hosed up on hard cider in a LOG CABIN! edit: Ibogaine has issued a correction as of 21:03 on Feb 16, 2016 |
# ? Feb 16, 2016 20:49 |
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GlyphGryph posted:This thread has literally been a more educational history experience than my years of US history class, including AP US History. My minor at college was American studies, and the focus was more on cultural history and structural aspects of the US. I never took any classes on the minutiae of individual elections, so I wasn't prepared for the sheer insanity of it all. Never mind the structural differences between the different parts of the US and their effects on the long term development of political fissures and alliances: Voting for hard cider or anti-Mason is much more fun! So, yeah, this thread is awesome.
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# ? Feb 16, 2016 20:56 |
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Holy crap what horseshit are these candidates.
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# ? Feb 17, 2016 03:01 |
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How can Birney Sanders possibly lose? It's our Christian duty to end the misery of the enslaved.
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# ? Feb 17, 2016 03:06 |
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Neutron Bandit posted:How can Birney Sanders possibly lose? It's our Christian duty to end the misery of the enslaved. And send them packing because they can't be integrated. I mean I voted for Birn but oh man.
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# ? Feb 17, 2016 03:26 |
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RagnarokAngel posted:Holy crap what horseshit are these candidates. they're what we're gonna look like to people in 2200, probably the (presumably still) small handful of people who really start to look beyond history-as-just-so-story-for-why-my-politics-are-right and actually begin to try to put themselves in the shoes of people who lived in a different era, anyway
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# ? Feb 17, 2016 04:51 |
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In 200 years, futuregoons will be dismissing all the candidates in the 2016 election as assholes for not supporting equal rights for dolphins.
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# ? Feb 17, 2016 04:58 |
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Nebakenezzer posted:(Also it makes me sad that if he was running today as a GOP candidate, his hollow earth ideas would be accepted, or at least ignored as long as they had some bullshit religious justification. But having a common-law wife, let alone a black common-law wife would sink him instantly.) Whenever the Democratic Party attacked Johnson on his wife, he would respond by listing off the names of every party leader who kept a black mistress. This strategy tended to work very well. Vavrek posted:The Paranoid Style in American Politics is required reading for this thread, right? Very nice read. I'll add it to the OP.
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# ? Feb 17, 2016 15:35 |
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For those of you with any interest in American history, the History Channel will be airing their new show, Join or Die tonight at 11:00/10:00c. The show stars former Late Late Show host, Craig Ferguson, and a random panel of historians, talking heads, and comedians as they discuss a particular historical topic. The first episode's topic is, "Worst political blunders," so stay tuned to see whether they discuss the Hartford Convention or Alexander Hamilton's ill-conceived crusade against John Adams.
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# ? Feb 18, 2016 18:02 |
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QuoProQuid posted:For those of you with any interest in American history, the History Channel will be airing their new show, Join or Die tonight at 11:00/10:00c. The show stars former Late Late Show host, Craig Ferguson, and a random panel of historians, talking heads, and comedians as they discuss a particular historical topic. The first episode's topic is, "Worst political blunders," so stay tuned to see whether they discuss the Hartford Convention or Alexander Hamilton's ill-conceived crusade against John Adams. The Hartford Convention: when secession was a Northern, Yankee idea
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# ? Feb 18, 2016 18:58 |
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QuoProQuid posted:Alexander Hamilton's ill-conceived crusade against John Adams. How does Hamilton, the short-tempered, protean creator of the coast guard, founder of the New York Post ardently abuse his cabinet post and destroy his reputation?
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# ? Feb 19, 2016 02:57 |
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Tao Jones posted:How does Hamilton, the short-tempered, protean creator of the coast guard, founder of the New York Post ardently abuse his cabinet post and destroy his reputation? Bitch, please.
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# ? Feb 19, 2016 05:05 |
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QuoProQuid posted:For those of you with any interest in American history, the History Channel will be airing their new show, Join or Die tonight at 11:00/10:00c. The show stars former Late Late Show host, Craig Ferguson, and a random panel of historians, talking heads, and comedians as they discuss a particular historical topic. The first episode's topic is, "Worst political blunders," so stay tuned to see whether they discuss the Hartford Convention or Alexander Hamilton's ill-conceived crusade against John Adams. All of these are pretty recent
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# ? Feb 19, 2016 05:15 |
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i just found this thread and this is super interesting/fun. i would also like to share my picture of my martin van buren action figure as i thought you all would enjoy it.
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# ? Feb 19, 2016 05:45 |
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MMM Whatchya Say posted:All of these are pretty recent That's disappointing. I unfortunately was not able to tune in, but hoped they might bring up some of the ridiculousness that we have seen in these early elections. axeil posted:i just found this thread and this is super interesting/fun. Very nice.
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# ? Feb 19, 2016 14:17 |
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Bitch, please. My Herbert Hoover action figure has a pistol grip. What does your Van Buren figure do? Sit around all day drinking mulled wine? loving HARD CIDER, dude. No, that's an awesome Van Buren, be proud of that Matty!
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# ? Feb 19, 2016 14:45 |
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Thank you for voting. Continuing the country’s descent into single-issue chaos, Liberty Party nominee James Gillespie Birney has been elected President in a landslide. Having won with such an overwhelming margin, Southern plantation owners have cried foul and have accused northern abolitionists of tampering with the vote. Virginia has threatened to march its state militia on Washington, D.C. unless the votes are recounted. As Birney races back home from his anti-slavery conference in London, Vice President-elect Thomas Earle has been forced to try and cool tensions. As he has never before served in elected office and is considered an abolitionist radical, these attempts have gone poorly. States across the South have gathered in South Carolina to discuss the Birney Presidency and whether the Freemasons are involved in the abolitionist conspiracy. RESULTS BREAKDOWN: Most Popular Ticket: James G. Birney / Thomas Earle (Liberty) - 60 votes (68.2%) William Henry Harrison / John Tyler (Whig) - 15 votes (17%) Martin Van Buren / Richard Mentor Johnson (Democratic) - 9 votes (10.2%) Martin Van Buren / Littleton W. Tazewell (Democratic) - 4 votes (4.5%) QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 17:56 on Feb 21, 2016 |
# ? Feb 21, 2016 17:45 |
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ELECTION OF 1844 Click here to vote in the Election of 1844! When William Henry Harrison took his oath of office, he hoped to show the country that he was a serious, intellectual man. A man who could both lead militarily and politically. A man in the mold of George Washington. Harrison would begin his inauguration with a bold and visionary address, one that show his commitment to reform, to repudiating the legacy of Jackson, and to ensuring Whig hegemony for years to come. Then he died a month later. To the horror of both Democrats and Whigs, Harrison’s death allowed John Tyler, the much-abused, aristocratic, anti-Jacksonian Southerner, to seize reigns of power. Acting in opposition to both major parties, Tyler acted unilaterally to ensure his vision of the Constitution became reality. He vetoed major bipartisan bills because he considered tariffs and internal improvements to be unconstitutional. He acted unilaterally and tried to bypass Congress to seize Mexican territory. By 1842, former President John Quincy Adams had been appointed to head a select committee to consider whether Tyler should be impeached. By 1845, the 28th Congress became the first Congress to override a Presidential veto. To no one’s shock, Tyler was booted from the party and has made no attempt to run for election. What is surprising is the Democratic nomination process. While most Democratic insiders expected the party to nominate former President Martin Van Buren, Van Buren’s opposition to Texas’s annexation and popular opposition to him within the South has led to a de facto coup by anti-Van Buren forces. In his place, the Democrats have nominated James K. Polk, a politician who is little-known nationally but respected within his native Tennessee, and George M. Dallas, who was unaware that he was even under consideration and only reluctantly accepted the nomination. While the Democrats have thrown together their usual platform of states’ rights, strict constitutionalism, and opposition to the “American System,” Polk has decided to shift the election’s framework to a much more divisive issue: American expansionism. In particular, Polk has seized upon America’s ongoing disputes with Mexico and Canada to gain support among Northern abolitionists and Southern slaveowners. Hoping to shatter the fragile Whig coalition, Polk has promised annexation of all of Texas and Oregon if elected President. This compromise has earned him praise among the press. Many American believe that it is their destiny to conquer not just Texas, but everything between it and the Pacific. For the Whigs, the nomination process has been much less contentious. After one ballot, the Whigs have nominated Party Leader Henry Clay, the only man that the Whigs believed capable of winning after Tyler’s disastrous presidency. To thwart Polk, Clay has attempted to focus the issue on the dangers of admitting Texas into the Union and the potential for new territory to disrupt the North-South balance. Hoping to win over northern anti-slavery advocates that may flock to Birney’s Liberty Party, Clay has also selected Theodore Frelinghuysen as his running mate. As a prominent evangelical Christian advocate and anti-slavery activist, Clay hopes he can discourage too many Whigs from voting for a third party and instead support him to thwart the “slaveocrats.” Clay is suspected to be responsible for the sudden appearance of thousands of anti-Polk tracts around the country, many of which accuse Polk of being a roaming slavetrader and a devil in disguise. The Democrats have retaliated in the South by spreading rumors of Clay’s atheism, his womanizing, and his bloodthirsty nature. They have also levelled the worst accusation possible against him: That he is an abolitionist. While the candidates’ positions on expansionism are clear, their positions on other issues are less so. Both Polk and Clay have danced around substantive issues like tariffs, the Treasury, and internal improvements. Many suspect that Clay and Polk are largely in agreement on most matters and that their only real feud is over who gets to be President. Background: Presidential Nominee: James Knox Polk
Vice Presidential Nominee: George Mifflin Dallas
WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES: Presidential Nominee: Henry Clay
Vice Presidential Nominee: Theodore Frelinghuysen
LIBERTY PARTY CANDIDATES: Presidential Nominee: James Gillespie Birney
Vice Presidential Nominee: Thomas Morris
QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 17:56 on Feb 21, 2016 |
# ? Feb 21, 2016 17:46 |
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gently caress Polk and his manifest destiny bullshit.
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# ? Feb 21, 2016 17:52 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 14:38 |
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Required listening: https://youtu.be/H9SvJMZs5Rs
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# ? Feb 21, 2016 17:56 |