Benny Harvey posted:

I'm not whining to co-workers. They are the ones bringing it up. I'm certainly not the one asking why I'm single. It's other people who are asking me why I am single and you would have realised that had you actually loving read what I had written. But hey gently caress that, that doesn't fit with your narcissistic world view that sees oval office power making all men weak. And the perceived power of your oval office is important for you because it's the only thing you think can give you strength over men because despite being a narcissist you don't see yourself as anything more than a glorified friction bag. DO YOU LOVE ME NOW DADDY?

Roro posted:

In the E/N thread titled, "How do I get through the next six months?", OP Benny Harvey begins to lose his poo poo.

Sloober posted:

Please pay attention to me i'm an introvert

Roro posted:

In the E/N thread titled, "How do I get through the next six months?", OP Benny Harvey begins to lose his poo poo.

Geniasis posted:

You missed the part where he flips out when someone calls him a bitch and how their feminism is hypocritical and his is superior despite, y'know throwing "oval office" around.

Tesseraction posted:

I think that thread is going to provide many good quotes. Probably best to let it unfold naturally.

Roro posted:

In the E/N thread titled, "How do I get through the next six months?", OP Benny Harvey begins to lose his poo poo.

Geniasis posted:

You missed the part where he flips out when someone calls him a bitch and how their feminism is hypocritical and his is superior despite, y'know throwing "oval office" around.

Centripetal Horse posted:

Why is this guy single?

Edit: Maybe I should go ask in his thread.

Subjunctive posted:

If you touch it, the OP will smell the difference and abandon it in the nest.

Centripetal Horse posted:

Why is this guy single?

Edit: Maybe I should go ask in his thread.

Roro posted:

Did the post I quoted not clue you in? The guy's a hardcore MRA that doesn't think he is. Also very insufferable.


That's an urban myth, the OP's inherent stench masks the scent of interference.

Pat Mustard posted:

He's just waiting for the right oval office to come along.

Pat Mustard posted:

He's just waiting for the right oval office to come along.

coolatronic posted:

But he can't punt on every oval office.

Centripetal Horse posted:

I was joking. The funny was supposed to be that his woman-repelling qualities are obvious to everyone except him.


There we go.

Benny Harvey posted:

I've posted about this frequently before so sorry for repeating myself.

I'm 5'9 and weigh 270 lbs (so I'm Homer Simpson fat). I am working on that though and I am to get back to how I looked around 10 years ago (around 160 lbs). I reckon that will take at least 7/8 months.

In the meantime, I'm a fat that doesn't want to gently caress other fats. I realise that this basically guarantees that I will not get laid but I'm willing to accept that. I'm not some bitter creep who gets angry at attractive women because he thinks they owe him sex.

I don't have a problem with not getting laid. What I do take issue with is the fact that people treat being single as a problem that needs to be fixed. I'm sick of being asked to explain myself for being single. I'm tired of unsolicited advice. What get me the most is that it seems to be something that people consider urgent. I'm also in a dead-end job and have no hobbies but the amount of time that people have bugged me about that is negligible. Why do people care about other people's dating lives so far.

I wish I could tell people the truth but they don't believe me. It's like sex is the new religion and I'm a heretic - how dare I intentionally go over half a year without sex. Then there's the fact that I think people will latch on to the fact that I shouldn't have "stnadards". I can't choose who I'm attracted too.


I realise that losing weight in some sort of panacea. I'm also a social retard. I don't even really know how to go about telling someone I'm attracted to them. I don't mean that I don't know how I would personally do it, I mean that flirting and dating are alien worlds to me. At least when I weigh a normal weight though I can approach women and be thought of as socailly awkwrd rather than just a creep. Hell, it might even seem ballsy. Throw enough poo poo at a wall and some of it will stick. And I might even be able to admit that I've never had a girlfriend and blame it on a lack of confidence from when I was fat. Sure I could say I lack confidence now but then people will start throwing the clichés at me: Just Be Yourself, There's Someone Out There For Everyone.

And to be honest, I don't know if I really want a relationship. But at least if I were a healthy weight, I could say that without people thinking that I was just a coward. At least then I could date women for the sake of being seen with them. People might write me off as a skeezy rear end in a top hat but at least the rear end in a top hat is a role people can understand. What am I now? A human being. gently caress someone Benny. gently caress a woman, gently caress a man, gently caress a slightly warmed up melon if you must, just gently caress something. It's OK to be gay, just don't be that human being that doesn't have sex.

So E/N. Advice?

(I've been in therapy before for depression. Didn't get very far and any time the subject of relationships came up, it'll always just ended up in hand-waving platitudes telling me to not give up hope becasue some women find fat men attractive.).

Benny Harvey posted:

Also, the former UK PM Ted Heath was recently accused (posthumastly) of being a paedophile. One of thing that came up when discussing the case was that he was never seen with any women.

Say Nothing posted:

Inzombiac posted:

Hinata
I loved her family bloodline powers or whatever they were called.

AlmightyBob posted:

Glaucoma

honda whisperer posted:

How many potatos does it take to kill an Irishman?

none

kalstrams posted:

Centripetal Horse posted:

I was joking. The funny was supposed to be that his woman-repelling qualities are obvious to everyone except him.

sirbeefalot posted:

If you ever feel like it can't get any worse, just take a bite of a vegan/gluten free donut. That is the bottom of the barrel. I've never tasted anything else that made me feel as defeated.

Aesop Poprock posted:

I didn't know donuts had skeletons

Applewhite posted:

I am taking my balls and going home!

wayfinder posted:

What are you, some kind of faminist?

quote:

quote:

hissss dont bread on me

The Golden Man posted:

Me, slowly opening the door to my dads den: dad I bought Japanese blue jeans again because of my anxiety
Dad: we hell the dowgs cuh fine her they got time time a wait fuh toma-how
My mom yelling from upstairs: tuh fine her tuh fine her tuh fine heheher

manyak posted:

Me: i used my student loan to buy ps4 because ps3 doesnt have blood born. Can i have $30 to get Wendys
My mom: schwozzy was my wohahoy, everythin Zen everything zen i dont think so

The Golden Man posted:

me: mom i think i may be in trouble for getting $1300 in american money on a donation website by saying I have leukemia please dont sing dragula
mom: dead i am the one
me, sobbing: please please i got a phone call from the canada revenus agency
my dad via speakerphone: conquering the worm

kalstrams posted:

Subjunctive posted:

Well huh. I guess my anaconda do want some.

Subjunctive posted:

Well huh. I guess my anaconda do want some.

Thermos H Christ posted:

calhoun posted:

The older goon looked at the younger with a loving, pitiful smile and said, "Good sir, I set her printer down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying it."

Syd Midnight posted:

Whiz Palace posted:

Can someone please kill the joke by explaining it to me thanks

Whiz Palace posted:

Can someone please kill the joke by explaining it to me thanks

PCOS Bill posted:

I spent $800 making a rich rear end in a top hat AR-15 pistol. A tattoo is retarded though.

Inzombiac posted:

I etched #FeelTheBern into my shotgun because sharing ammunition is high-velocity socialism.

trapped mouse posted:

This person is talking to their parents, and every time they're having a self-imposed problem their parents start singing 90s rock.

Branis posted:

sometimes I like to wear american flag boxers and watch JDAM videos, that way when I get a boner it's like i'm raising the flag. My own personal Iwo jima

Syd Midnight posted:

Sylink posted:

OSHA: Whats the terminal velocity of an unladen bolt down an elevator shaft?

Platystemon posted:

Metric or ANSI?

God Hole posted:

Anyone got the original printer carrying story? That was a good read

Borky posted:

A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.

I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.

By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed.

After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that

To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall.

This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door.

So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.

Smythe posted:

My man. Do not front with me. I am not from Idaho. I have Pizza out of ovens imported from italy. I have had pizza in NY. I have had pizza in Chicago. I have had a slice for $30 and a slice for $0.30. I have eaten a lot of pizza. Why? Because I'm a loving pig. I'm a manlet who can't eat green food so I eat Pizza and Ham and Macaroni Non Stop. I've got Type 2 and a RMS-Type Gut. I've got a fat rear end with greasy pimples. I pull the grease napkins out of ulilululia's trash and rub them on my hawaiin za for extra flavor. I'm a Pizza Expert. And guess what? The 2 x 2 Topping Medium Hand Tossed COupon from Dominos.com online delivery is a Good loving Deal for some P. God drat Deece. Pizza.