ITT we are suburban moms

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Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Harvey Mantaco posted:

Lol yes

Good. I wouldn't want my tax dollars going to waste.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:19

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# ? May 15, 2024 12:54

Minimalist Program: Aug 14, 2010

I really like moms.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:21

ultimateforce: Apr 25, 2008; SKINNY JEANS CANT HOLD BACK THIS ARC

In my experience people who live in suburbs for reasons other than to own a garage for a race car project are trash.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:36

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

*pulls into mcdonald's drive-thru at 2pm on a summer day after going to ex-husband's mother's funeral*

*sees sweltering pizza-faced teen boy just trying to hold down his summer job, dripping with sweat from running a fryer*

*rolls down window of heavily a/c'd (MAX) 2009 grand cherokee*

"Sure is hot today, isn't it?" while she's wearing a funeral dress

my mother did this, i witnessed, hand 2 god

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:38

MiracleWhale: Jun 30, 2015

Jonny 290 posted:

*pulls into mcdonald's drive-thru at 2pm on a summer day after going to ex-husband's mother's funeral*

*sees sweltering pizza-faced teen boy just trying to hold down his summer job, dripping with sweat from running a fryer*

*rolls down window of heavily a/c'd (MAX) 2009 grand cherokee*

"Sure is hot today, isn't it?" while she's wearing a funeral dress

my mother did this, i witnessed, hand 2 god

sounds like the start of a p hot cougar porno

# ? Mar 31, 2016 01:21

Joe 30330: Dec 20, 2007; "We have this notion that if you're poor, you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids."

As the audience reluctantly began to applaud during the silence, Biden tried to fix his remarks.

"Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids -- no, I really mean it." Biden said.

*struggles to juggle Mary Kay, Scentsy and Avon appointments*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:22

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

MiracleWhale posted:

sounds like the start of a p hot cougar porno

she sells synthetic granite countertops to contractors building fracking mcmansions in Williston and Fargo. you wanna film a basic bitch porno there's your housecall set up right there

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:27

Zombiepop: Mar 30, 2010

*Finds herself during a vacation in europe and becomes a lesbian, feeling happiness for the first time in her life. Finally free from the shackles of suburban life. Ignores kids and parental responsibilites as usual*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:42

Reince Penis: Nov 15, 2007; by R. Guyovich

*accidentally walks in on 16yr old step-son while he's jerking off after school*

*is wearing negligée*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:09

Bro Dad: Mar 26, 2010

Hector Beerlioz posted:

wtf why didnt she go with mckarty

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:12

Kitsunegari: Aug 5, 2013

join the Nayvie

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:39

dad gay. so what: Feb 18, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

fake edit: i thought you said subHUMAN moms lol

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:42

ChairmanMeow: Mar 1, 2008; Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!; Lipstick Apathy

Jonny 290 posted:

*pulls into mcdonald's drive-thru at 2pm on a summer day after going to ex-husband's mother's funeral*

*sees sweltering pizza-faced teen boy just trying to hold down his summer job, dripping with sweat from running a fryer*

*rolls down window of heavily a/c'd (MAX) 2009 grand cherokee*

"Sure is hot today, isn't it?" while she's wearing a funeral dress

my mother did this, i witnessed, hand 2 god

*refuses to drop son a block from school and friends see her*

hand to god

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:47

Drad_Bert: Jun 26, 2013; by Smythe

Takes my weed and SMOKES IT :mad:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:00

Fasdar: Sep 1, 2001; Everybody loves dancing!

*Knows mid-level marketing is kind of a scam but it just feels too good when the salespeople are really building you up at weird meetings.*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:17

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

*has breakdown when son tells her that he isn't Christian anymore

*hasn't gone to church aside from Christmas since 2008

god dammit mom :smith:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:20

Part of Everything: Feb 1, 2005; He clenched his teeh and walked out of the study

Why didn't you respond to my invitation to my Fantasia party, are you shy or something

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:31

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

"Why doesn't America just stop buying oil"?

*is blissfully ignorant about how many consumer goods are made from petroleum*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:51

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

*od's on painkillers*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:58

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

I don't know why goons are suddenly so anti-drug

I think you just have an irrational hatred of females

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:59

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Bro Dad posted:

wtf why didnt she go with mckarty

Too easy to bully her by calling her mario kart. Lakynn, nobody at all can bully a Lakynn.

Also McKarty's a last name not a first name.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 07:17

Fasdar: Sep 1, 2001; Everybody loves dancing!

I think some people mistake a satirical exploration of a privileged class for genuine emotional dispositions. Nobody here actually has feelings.

*Makes a clucking sound like you just put too much cinnamon on a 859 calorie mocha.*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 07:40

Horniest Manticore: Nov 23, 2013; Hello, you!; Lipstick Apathy

Robo Reagan posted:

*graduated from looking like han solo in the original trilogy, now looks like han solo in the force awakens*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 09:24

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

This is so much funnier when you see the other names that were on her list: http://mommyslittlesunshine.blogspot.com/2012/01/29-weeks.html

(scroll down to right before the comments)

To quote my own post for a moment, I recall stating a few years ago on this very forum that the next fad in kid's names will be last names as first names but taken to an extreme. We are already seeing Madison and Griffin and Mason and Jackson, but within 3-5 years you will start seeing McDouglas, Martinez, Nicholson, Thompson, Jenkins, Washington, Fitzgerald, Strickland, Cunningham, Gallagher, McLaughlin, etc. as popular first names. Please quote my post and bump this thread in the future when this becomes reality and I my theory is proven right, tia

# ? Mar 31, 2016 11:48

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

I'm literally breastfeeding while posting this

# ? Mar 31, 2016 11:51

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

To quote my own post for a moment, I recall stating a few years ago on this very forum that the next fad in kid's names will be last names as first names but taken to an extreme. We are already seeing Madison and Griffin and Mason and Jackson, but within 3-5 years you will start seeing McDouglas, Martinez, Nicholson, Thompson, Jenkins, Washington, Fitzgerald, Strickland, Cunningham, Gallagher, McLaughlin, etc. as popular first names. Please quote my post and bump this thread in the future when this becomes reality and I my theory is proven right, tia

I have bad news my friend, this future is now

# ? Mar 31, 2016 11:51

Howard Beale: Feb 22, 2001; It's like this, Peanut

Excuse me?
ExCUSE ME?
EXCUSE ME?!

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:09

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

*is the definition of successful single working mother; still ostracized by stay-at-home suburban moms*

You deserve great mom friends, Mom :smith:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:30

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

"As the mother of an autistic child I..."

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:30

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

*has a master's degree in chemistry, answers phones at a bus company*

*grudgingly gives husband an extra \50 for lunch because sales tax went up*

*spends 45 minutes making a kawaii bento, 5 minutes taking pictures of it, kid won't eat it because it's 90% weird color rice and 10% tomatoes*

*makes family wear matching shirts to the zoo*

*just leaves doors open because her fake nails are too long to use handles*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:32

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

To quote my own post for a moment, I recall stating a few years ago on this very forum that the next fad in kid's names will be last names as first names but taken to an extreme. We are already seeing Madison and Griffin and Mason and Jackson, but within 3-5 years you will start seeing McDouglas, Martinez, Nicholson, Thompson, Jenkins, Washington, Fitzgerald, Strickland, Cunningham, Gallagher, McLaughlin, etc. as popular first names. Please quote my post and bump this thread in the future when this becomes reality and I my theory is proven right, tia

Sorry bro, the next naming fad is naming your kids after everyday objects.

Apple, Flower, Couch, Wheel, Knife, Floor, etc.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:41

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

*outs own gay son to other liberal moms for popularity points*

*is showered with thoughts and prayers when son is beaten nearly to death because of this*

*is called a good mother and receives ten thousand Facebook likes and a spot on the day time local news for her powerful post about "surviving" her son's suicide*

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:45

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

*outs own gay son to other liberal moms for popularity points*

*is showered with thoughts and prayers when son is beaten nearly to death because of this*

*is called a good mother and receives ten thousand Facebook likes and a spot on the day time local news for her powerful post about "surviving" her son's suicide*

Son's Gay. Beat up

# ? Mar 31, 2016 13:50

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat