Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

Tunicate posted:

And remember, you want to keep the compressions at the proper rate of 100-120 BPM, which can easily be maintained by humming Another One Bites The Dust.

Or "Stayin' Alive".

# ? Jun 17, 2016 06:30

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:56

iyaayas01: Feb 19, 2010; Perry'd

Tunicate posted:

And remember, you want to keep the compressions at the proper rate of 100-120 BPM, which can easily be maintained by humming Another One Bites The Dust.

At our morning meeting with the O-6 a couple of weeks back there was this rather obnoxiously loud "BOOMP-BOOMP-BOOMP-BOOMP" going on from one of the rooms next door.

We all made jokes about someone having a dance party, turns out it was a BLS/CPR/whatever course and that was the beat from the video

# ? Jun 17, 2016 06:44

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Wingnut Ninja posted:

Or "Stayin' Alive".

FINE, HERE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmb1tqYqyII

# ? Jun 17, 2016 06:57

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

I think the thing that really annoys me is when people get knocked out and they start sticking their hands in their mouths trying to free the airway. I've seen it in football a bunch when the keeper goes and knocks a player out on accident and someone tries to clear an airway by shoving his grubby hand in the unconscious dudes mouth.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 07:04

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

But he'll swallow his tongue! :downs:

# ? Jun 17, 2016 07:07

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

Redeye Flight posted:

Yo, crossposting from the Current Events thread, have some Marine idiots:

http://imgur.com/gallery/w4SJ2

Whats the most he can get charged with?

# ? Jun 17, 2016 07:10

Aranan: May 21, 2007; Release the Kraken

Reverand maynard posted:

Whats the most he can get charged with?

Being a Marine. Punishable by flogging.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 08:43

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Reverand maynard posted:

Whats the most he can get charged with?

Conduct befitting a lance corporal

# ? Jun 17, 2016 12:22

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Reverand maynard posted:

Whats the most he can get charged with?

Reenlistment

# ? Jun 17, 2016 13:57

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Redeye Flight posted:

Yo, crossposting from the Current Events thread, have some Marine idiots:

http://imgur.com/gallery/w4SJ2

I like that I can tell that dudes white trash as gently caress just by looking at the picture.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 14:13

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

FIDEL CASHFLOW posted:

update on thinking about going into the air guard:

smoking weed is cool

gently caress you if you're still in

smdftb

"We're pee testing the entire MX Squadron"

Redeye Flight posted:

Yo, crossposting from the Current Events thread, have some Marine idiots:

http://imgur.com/gallery/w4SJ2

Ahahaha, good job Marine. As if having a kill/rape streak on Okinawa can make the force look any better.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 14:18

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

CommieGIR posted:

"We're pee testing the entire ~~MX Squadron~~ base, twice!"

# ? Jun 17, 2016 14:23

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Casimir Radon posted:

"We're pee testing the entire MX Squadron base, twice!"

Must be a nuke base

# ? Jun 17, 2016 14:27

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

CommieGIR posted:

Must be a nuke base

Nope. They just got really pissed off when a bunch of people popped hot in short succession with random testing. So they tested us all, then did it again a couple months later. Medical really doesn't have the staff to handle that many people, so two entire days went down the drain. That's a lot of pee.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 14:30

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Casimir Radon posted:

Nope. They just got really pissed off when a bunch of people popped hot in short succession with random testing. So they tested us all, then did it again a couple months later. Medical really doesn't have the staff to handle that many people, so two entire days went down the drain. That's a lot of pee.

To be fair, it was probably more alcohol than pee.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 14:31

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

My first day at AIT had the whole battalion piss tested. 800 or so people, 10 hats, one room.

It was my loving birthday too, and all I wanted to do was have a loving beer

# ? Jun 17, 2016 16:10

Internet Wizard: Aug 9, 2009; BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

Soulex posted:

I think the thing that really annoys me is when people get knocked out and they start sticking their hands in their mouths trying to free the airway. I've seen it in football a bunch when the keeper goes and knocks a player out on accident and someone tries to clear an airway by shoving his grubby hand in the unconscious dudes mouth.

What kind of IDR crap are you pulling claiming you're US Army and talking about football having keepers.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 17:53

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Internet Wizard posted:

What kind of IDR crap are you pulling claiming you're US Army and talking about football having keepers.

There is one football and that is European football. NFL be damned. It doesn't involve feet.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 18:02

Turdis McWordis: Mar 29, 2016; by LadyAmbien

On Memorial Day my brother in law posted on FB a generic message followed by a specific shout out to me, his father in law, and some other dude.

That caused this super sperg major I once worked for to comment "OMG, Turdis is dead?! What happened?" I replied nope, still alive, and got on a plane. Meanwhile, my BIL and this retard got in a slap fight for dozens of comments, and the wife eventually saw it and sent cease and desist texts to her brother. I ignored it thinking about my blood pressure and assuming it would quickly blow over. It didn't, although the wife's nagging did get us both unfriended by her brother.

Recapping this last week with her parents led to the wife storming out of her own birthday dinner because they wouldn't sufficiently denounce her brother's confusion between Memorial and Veteran's Day.

Don't join the military, don't get married, don't be an idiot.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 18:02

Spacman: Mar 18, 2014

Booblord Zagats posted:

Conduct befitting a lance corporal

All jokes aside, I reckon that is the thing where Jack Nicholson admits to everything and Tom cruise is shocked and you still get a dishonorable.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 18:44

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Derek Dominoe posted:

Nope. Continuous compressions are preferred for bystanders. Interrupting chest compressions for what are usually ineffective breaths at room air FiO2 is really detrimental to brain and tissue perfusion. No more "look, listen, and feel" even.

If you're a trained professional with an ambubag and know what you're doing, then go for it. Even then, if you're by yourself and can't ventilate without interrupting compressions for <10 sec, it isn't worth it.

Rescue breathing is for respiratory arrest with a pulse.

(All this can be very different for kids...their most common cause of circulatory arrest is hypoxia, so respirations are more important.)

tl;dr: Chest compressions are BY FAR the most important part of CPR.

I just renewed Red Cross cert in May and they still start out with two breaths and then go into compressions.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 19:35

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

This is a peak mount. We like to use them because they're inexpensive, portable, quick to set up, don't require poking holes in the roof or major modifications to the building, and don't necessitate CE getting involved. Now some colonel is complaining because the sight of cinder blocks of the roof has offended their aesthetic sensibilities. They got very insistent that we should just bolt antennas to the roof like we have elsewhere on base. Except that A. Nowhere on base is there an antenna bolted to the roof, and B. That would require serious and expensive modifications to the buildings. So now we've got to explore options to shut up whoever this dickhead is.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:00

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Casimir Radon posted:

This is a peak mount. We like to use them because they're inexpensive, portable, quick to set up, don't require poking holes in the roof or major modifications to the building, and don't necessitate CE getting involved. Now some colonel is complaining because the sight of cinder blocks of the roof has offended their aesthetic sensibilities. They got very insistent that we should just bolt antennas to the roof like we have elsewhere on base. Except that A. Nowhere on base is there an antenna bolted to the roof, and B. That would require serious and expensive modifications to the buildings. So now we've got to explore options to shut up whoever this dickhead is.

Isn't there some instruction for roof building or whatever that came from an echelon above the colonel?

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:19

Ygolonac

Nov 26, 2007

pre:

*************
CLUTCH  NIXON
*************

The Hero We Need

Soulex posted:

There is one football and that is ~~European~~ Australian Rules football. NFL be damned. It doesn't involve ~~feet~~ protective equipment or sobriety.

Casimir Radon posted:

This is a peak mount. We like to use them because they're inexpensive, portable, quick to set up, don't require poking holes in the roof or major modifications to the building, and don't necessitate CE getting involved. Now some colonel is complaining because the sight of cinder blocks of the roof has offended their aesthetic sensibilities. They got very insistent that we should just bolt antennas to the roof like we have elsewhere on base. Except that A. Nowhere on base is there an antenna bolted to the roof, and B. That would require serious and expensive modifications to the buildings. So now we've got to explore options to shut up whoever this dickhead is.

I see eight options right there - you're already up on the roof.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:28

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Stultus Maximus posted:

Isn't there some instruction for roof building or whatever that came from an echelon above the colonel?

From what it sounds like this is completely outside their area of expertise and they're basing all of this on how they think it looks as opposed to any sort of regulation or common sense. Also our commander is a captain so that can make it kind of hard to win arguments outright no matter how stupid the colonel is being.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:32

Ceiling fan: Dec 26, 2003; I really like ceilings.; Dead Man’s Band

Ygolonac posted:

I see eight options right there - you're already up on the roof.

Yeah, but don't those options also require that Col standing just beside that roof?

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:36

Turdis McWordis: Mar 29, 2016; by LadyAmbien

Who owns the building? Demand a memorandum for record that states they authorize holes to be drilled in their roof and accept all damages and charges that base facilities may someday recoup from the future hand receipt holder. That'll slow it down for at least a month. Your commander can always solicit a legal opinion from the SJA on whether he's authorized to damage or modify someone else's property.

Turdis McWordis fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jun 17, 2016

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:41

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Soulex posted:

There is one football and that is European football. NFL be damned. It doesn't involve feet.

I like that rugby players coming over from Australia often say that the 300lb linemen in the NFL are super fast. Because seeing those rugby fella's talk poo poo about pads then quickly coming to grips with the fact that a guy who weighs as much as a motorcycle that can do the 40 under 5.5 might infact make those pads a bit of a necessity

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:44

Davethulhu: Aug 12, 2003; Morbid Hound

smemper fi

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:51

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Turdis McWordis posted:

Who owns the building? Demand a memorandum for record that states they authorize holes to be drilled in their roof and accept all damages and charges that base facilities may someday recoup from the future hand receipt holder. That'll slow it down for at least a month. Your commander can always solicit a legal opinion from the SJA on whether he's authorized to damage or modify someone else's property.

Whoever it is I think the most they can really do is bitch about it. The plan right now is to paint the cinder blocks the same color brown as the roof, and if that doesn't work refer them to the officers at CE who aren't going to side with them.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 20:52

MA-Horus: Dec 3, 2006; I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Booblord Zagats posted:

I like that rugby players coming over from Australia often say that the 300lb linemen in the NFL are super fast. Because seeing those rugby fella's talk poo poo about pads then quickly coming to grips with the fact that a guy who weighs as much as a motorcycle that can do the 40 under 5.5 might infact make those pads a bit of a necessity

Yeah they're fast for about 10 minutes. Put your average nfl lineman in the front line of a rugby squad and he'll be dead by the half from exhaustion.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 22:29

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

after watching tuf 10 and the abortion of the wes shivers/james mcsweeney fight, i lost a lot of respect for the athleticism of nfl players

dude on the right was an offensive tackle for the tennessee titans. dude on the left is british, so thats his excuse i guess

# ? Jun 17, 2016 22:35

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

after watching tuf 10 and the abortion of the wes shivers/james mcsweeney fight, i lost a lot of respect for the athleticism of nfl players

dude on the right was an offensive tackle for the tennessee titans. dude on the left is british, so thats his excuse i guess

American football hasn't really got much in the way of anything except athleticism in short bursts. And beating up your girlfriend.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 22:40

Affi: Dec 18, 2005; Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA

Davethulhu posted:

smemper fi

This dude is going to swallow soooo much poo poo on his way to a dishonourable discharge. Unless I guess they send him to prison too.

He is the idiot.

# ? Jun 17, 2016 22:59

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Affi posted:

This dude is going to swallow soooo much poo poo on his way to a dishonourable discharge. Unless I guess they send him to prison too.

He is the idiot.

Question him until he says something slightly different and then charge him with making false official statements?

# ? Jun 17, 2016 23:51

Dingleberry: Aug 21, 2011

Affi posted:

This dude is going to swallow soooo much poo poo on his way to a dishonourable discharge. Unless I guess they send him to prison too.

He is the idiot.

Maybe he meant obummer is gonna send marines to protect their civilian counterparts.

# ? Jun 18, 2016 17:48

Vengarr: Jun 17, 2010; Smashed before noon

MA-Horus posted:

Yeah they're fast for about 10 minutes. Put your average nfl lineman in the front line of a rugby squad and he'll be dead by the half from exhaustion.

That's not really the point. The point is that if you can run a 40-yard dash in 4.5 seconds while weighing 300 pounds, the amount of force generated by your tackle is enormous, over 1.5 tons of force for the biggest hits. Potentially enough to kill someone not wearing pads.

# ? Jun 18, 2016 19:03

lightpole: Jun 4, 2004; I think that MBAs are useful, in case you are looking for an answer to the question of "Is lightpole a total fucking idiot".

There aren't many situations in which a 300 lb lineman is going to have 40 yards to reach top speed and then make that hit.

The momentum advantage in rugby usually goes to the ball carrier as tacklers have to wrap up and are more likely to be making open field tackles without support. Once I started playing men's rugby it became pretty common to see 240+ lb islanders running at me, including Samu Manoa. It's not that hard to make those hits.

# ? Jun 18, 2016 19:42

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

It's not taking him 40 yards to build up that speed. Maybe 5.

# ? Jun 18, 2016 23:25

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:56

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

yall enjoy arguing about which sport is more macho, ill be over here on the couch enjoying not having tbi and blown out knees

# ? Jun 19, 2016 19:36

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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