Geniasis posted:For some reason this sounds like the opening sentence of a short story. I'd read it. Also, I have a great Chuck Tingle title for this, but I'm too lazy to post it.
|
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:20 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 11:14 |
|
Centripetal Horse posted:I'd read it. Pounded In The Butt By My Unrealized Comedy Gold
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:27 |
|
Perestroika posted:
He certainly has a way with words, that guy.
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:50 |
|
Centripetal Horse posted:I'd read it. Pounded in The Butt By My Own Reluctance to Post About Butt Pounding.
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:53 |
|
my friend got me some Chuck Tingle books for my birthday and Helicopter Man Pounds Billionaire Dinosaur rear end is genuinely one of the funniest things I've read in years
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:54 |
|
Pounded in the butt by huge tits also being pounded in their butt
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 03:59 |
|
Centripetal Horse posted:Ward comes home two hours late, smelling of his secretary's perfume. The family sits through a sullen meal, with Ward drinking from a highball glass and refusing to look his wife in the eye, while June makes a point of banging the spoon against the dishes as she serves dinner. Later, from his bedroom, the Beaver hears his mother and father fighting. "Jesus loving CHRIST, June! Don't start with me! Just do not loving START with me!"
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 04:02 |
|
Clipperton posted:Personally I'm excited Tim Burton is venturing outside his comfort zone with a movie about freaky kids who are shunned by society but they're actually sensitive and unique and amazing, not like those NORMAL people, I bet Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children never shoved anyone's head in a toilet yelling ANYONE GOT ANY SHAMPOO FOR BURTON, HE NEEDS TO LOOK PRETTY FOR WHEN HE MAKES OUT WITH THAT ELFMAN KID
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 04:31 |
|
Quotes are a dish best served without context:Grinning Goblin posted:"Death is the solution to all man's problems. No man, no problem" - Jospeh "Ultron" Stalin HebrewMagic posted:"No woman, no cry"
|
# ? Jun 23, 2016 08:11 |
|
PBS Newshour posted:i hope this becomes david cameron's ground hog day corn in the bible posted:i thought he already did that in college
|
# ? Jun 24, 2016 08:51 |
|
PleasureKevin posted:gimmicky dating site offers people beta access if they buy a t-shirt bassguitarhero posted:i dont think gimmick dating sites need any more betas accessing them
|
# ? Jun 24, 2016 21:14 |
|
If I had to see and read this, so do you.chaos rhames posted:Ironically enough if she's not changed this pumped rump will pickle pee.
|
# ? Jun 26, 2016 00:52 |
|
Still a terrible pun I'll still laugh at because I love exceptionally awful puns.
|
# ? Jun 26, 2016 04:42 |
|
Can someone find the quote where someone describes waking up and starting their day and outlines all of the government-managed tax-funded services they use throughout the day and then goes home to log on to Fox News to complain about how the government can't get anything right?
|
# ? Jun 27, 2016 00:11 |
|
Heath posted:Can someone find the quote where someone describes waking up and starting their day and outlines all of the government-managed tax-funded services they use throughout the day and then goes home to log on to Fox News to complain about how the government can't get anything right? i got you fam quote:This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.
|
# ? Jun 27, 2016 00:14 |
|
Over in PYF Unnerving Stories, goon Droogie is doing an absolutely dreadful (good dreadful) series of posts on the 1980 New Mexico State Prison Riot. I highly recommend checking it out because his story is very well written. It also prompted this fabulous exchange. There's a lot more to read if it piques your curiosity. Chichevache posted:Has Mythbusters ever tested whether or not a torch could make a human skull pop? That stood out to me and I wasn't sure if a traumatised witness imagined it, or if the right conditions could, what? Boil the brain and increase pressure until the skull burst like Scanners? Pharnakes posted:Surely the eye sockets and temples would act as pressure relief valves before that happened. Maybe he saw an eyeball bursting? Droogie posted:One would think. I paused before adding this one, but did so after the considerations that: cash crab posted:"Some of the group's studies tested common beliefs about how bodies burn. For example, many textbooks state that if a skull is initially intact, the brains will boil and cause the skull to explode into small fragments. Investigators may therefore see the lack of such an explosion as a sign of foul play. Pope's team tested this theory by systematically burning 40 human heads - some injured, others intact. They found that skulls do not explode, burning in broadly the same way regardless of trauma (see image). The team also showed that a skull may look like it has exploded if debris falls on it once the heat has made it brittle (Journal of Forensic Sciences, vol 49, p 431). " Business of Ferrets posted:I always assumed the cutting jet would have penetrated straight through, providing the effect. ToastFaceKillah posted:I remember watching something on Herculaneum once, saying that when they found the bodies there, at first they thought they were prisoners, or murder victims, because a bunch of the skulls were basically smashed. They found later that the pyroclastic flow was so sudden and hot that that was the reason the skulls had broken. Droogie posted:I think this is closer to what happened. What the guy witnessed was probably an explosion to him, but I think "explosion" is probably closer to "sudden split"
|
# ? Jun 28, 2016 00:20 |
|
Thread thread on the forum. What is the funniest post of them all? Enfield posted:idiot deers they get horny and have sex with each other and lay 30,000 deer eggs and suddenly your smashing into them on your motorcycle or chasing your dog around while it sprints desperately away hauling half a deer carcass. when i was a kid i had to sit around at dusk and shoot deer with an air rifle so they wouldnt eat all the tamaters. i had to slit a deer throat after it got tangled up in a barbed wire fence like a retard. every member of my immediate family has killed a deer with an automobile. you dont even need to hunt them anymore theyre more than capable of killing themselves and theres always about 7 or 8 little bambis ready to replace them. kill all the deer and eat their flesh is whatnibalways say
|
# ? Jun 28, 2016 00:58 |
|
That's a drat good post.
|
# ? Jun 28, 2016 01:09 |
|
Enfield is on fire, haha
|
# ? Jun 28, 2016 01:14 |
|
Lunchmeat Larry posted:Enfield is on fire, haha
|
# ? Jun 28, 2016 05:41 |
|
anthonypants posted:feeding a bird with a spoon seems like a really stupid thing to do SmokaDustbowl posted:toucan sam eats with a spoon dipshit
|
# ? Jun 28, 2016 21:16 |
|
Young Freud posted:BTW, on actual BREXIT talk, someone on Pornhub added Boris Johnson's speech to the site under the title "DUMB BRITISH BLONDE FUCKS 15 MILLION PEOPLE AT ONCE".
|
# ? Jun 29, 2016 11:07 |
|
On faulty IUDs and sexrndmnmbr posted:"Put your dick in the vag, young Paul Atredes."
|
# ? Jun 29, 2016 11:30 |
|
Tuxedo Ted posted:All we need is a donkey and then we got a band going.
|
# ? Jun 30, 2016 03:02 |
|
Rosalind posted:I want to hire someone to dress up as a Disney Princess and sing to my cat at his birthday party. Yes I am serious. I just really like the mental image of a Disney Princess singing to my cat. I had a ton of friends and friends of friends offer to do so especially because I said I would be willing to pay for such a performance (I didn't specify any amounts yet) and also he's a pretty popular cat in my social circle. At his birthday party last year we raised enough money to fund all the medical expenses for 2 cats at the Humane Society and the year before that over 50 people attended his party. NESguerilla posted:For the amount of money you are willing to pay you could see a mental health professional for a whole hour.
|
# ? Jun 30, 2016 05:58 |
|
For $100 I'd be willing to do an unionized striptease for someone's stupid cat.Gorilla Salad posted:China buys all the poo poo we dig up
|
# ? Jun 30, 2016 17:23 |
|
Doctor J Off posted:Keep your ear to the ground. Look for underground currents. Listen to the wind in the trees, hear the whispers. Bundle up onion grass, and sauté them in butter with leeks and chives. Extend every fifth step to a lurch on a walk down to the crossroads on the second hour after a rainstorm, and identify yourself to a stranger who will step out of the shadows. rezatahs posted:did you just reveal the wu-tang secret
|
# ? Jun 30, 2016 17:53 |
|
ratbert90 posted:My wife's call center just told her she can't go to her doctors appointment because there is a client walkthrough. This doctor's appointment she made two weeks ago, told them about, and had approved. WampaLord posted:What the gently caress? Like the client is going to go "WHAT IS THIS?" at the site of an unoccupied workstation?
|
# ? Jul 1, 2016 04:59 |
|
Presented without contextProkhor Zakharov posted:When he transforms Colossus' dick very slowly slithers up into his body with a sound like someone sucking jello through a crazy straw
|
# ? Jul 1, 2016 09:35 |
|
Thread about the Olympics in Gbs is pretty goodJustin Godscock posted:I love how the IOC and FIFA seem to be in a competition over who can award the shittiest applicant their event. Roylicious posted:That's why we're crowned the murder capital still
|
# ? Jul 1, 2016 13:11 |
|
Trilas posted:Man, the guy didn't age a day. I wonder what his secret was. Helen Highwater posted:Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Mujahideen!
|
# ? Jul 1, 2016 18:15 |
|
ArtIsResistance posted:Good thing goons are here to tell all the obscure uhhh... pedophilia logos? Gromit posted:Actually, I got that knowledge from assisting the police child sexual assault investigations unit for about 6 or 7 years. Does that make you feel better? Whybird posted:That's a really long time to resist interrogation, I'm impressed.
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 00:23 |
|
Grand Prize Winner posted:There was one guy who'd wear his ren-faire costume to school in the days leading up the ren-faire. One chick wore a cape but she killed herself sophomore year and wasn't a problem anymore.
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 02:21 |
|
Holy poo poo
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 03:09 |
|
Scionix posted:pls do not talk about alzheimers everyone in my family ends up dying from alzheimers i would like to not be reminded of my crushing mortality doomed to end via forgetting everyone i hold dear and making their lives miserable as I foppishly shuffle off this gay earth That Works posted:
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 04:00 |
|
LSD CURES JUNKIES posted:Thread about the Olympics in Gbs is pretty good That first post is referring to Russia, Brazil and Qatar (I think), but what's the forth country?
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 04:01 |
|
Red Suit posted:That first post is referring to Russia, Brazil and Qatar (I think), but what's the forth country? Probably Saudi Arabia would be my guess.
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 04:03 |
|
Page 74 has been sick
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 04:10 |
|
Red Suit posted:That first post is referring to Russia, Brazil and Qatar (I think), but what's the forth country? Russia, Brazil, South Korea, Qatar.
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 07:14 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 11:14 |
|
A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Page 74 has been sick let's top it off (context: a tesla on autopilot failed to detect a truck because it was painted white and ran under it) Wild EEPROM posted:You're all missing the point. Smythe posted:This Smythe posted:94 mph autopilot, or, how I learned to stop steering and love Elon's Guillotine
|
# ? Jul 2, 2016 09:43 |