Schadenfreude Thread: What did they think would happen?

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Croisquessein: Feb 25, 2005; invisible or nonexistent, and should be treated as such

Testekill posted:

Kid, if you get caught with your dick in your hand like it sounds then you've lost most options to deny this.

edit: Seriously though, gently caress this kid. His mum clearly sounds like she's trying as hard as she can but he's just such a disrespectful little prick.

I am almost not sure who to feel more sorry for, the kid in a most awkward situation from which there is no real higher ground other than to be mature about it which most kids aren't, or the mom completely unable to deal with adolescent shittery which deserves to be slapped a bit.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 09:57

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# ? May 13, 2024 23:24

Queering Wheel: Jun 18, 2011

Testekill posted:

Kid, if you get caught with your dick in your hand like it sounds then you've lost most options to deny this.

edit: Seriously though, gently caress this kid. His mum clearly sounds like she's trying as hard as she can but he's just such a disrespectful little prick.

He's a disrespectful little prick because his parents are terrible parents. Kids don't magically become that way, they learn it from their parents. I don't feel sorry for her at all.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 11:01

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Croisquessein posted:

I am almost not sure who to feel more sorry for, the kid in a most awkward situation from which there is no real higher ground other than to be mature about it which most kids aren't, or the mom completely unable to deal with adolescent shittery which deserves to be slapped a bit.

She did an alright job with the first part which is an awkward situation for both parties, telling him he's not in trouble etc. The latter part of the video where it devolves into a slapfight with both of them calling each other douchebags is terrible though. Stooping to your kid's level of thinking arguing is an endless back and forth of namecalling is never a good idea.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 12:51

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

How does she not just unplug his computer two minutes into this.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 13:09

Kay Kessler: May 9, 2013

That's kinda a violent game for a seven-year-old to be playing.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 13:40

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Data Graham posted:

How does she not just unplug his computer two minutes into this.

That's what I was wondering the whole time. When I pissed my mom off she would take the power cords away and put them on shelves I couldn't reach.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 14:00

Tracula: Mar 26, 2010; PLEASE LEAVE

im pooping! posted:

i worked at a gas station and some lady came in asking if we sold 5 hour energy and i pointed her to it and she bought some and said she needed to know what was in it because her nephew drank 4 of them and wound up in the hospital

cool story rite?

*and thats the stuff that IS an energy drink

Long story short someone we knew had a son that got in a car accident. He went to the hospital and they asked him if he had used cocaine or something like that. He said no and they went over the night. Apparently he had three red bulls and his heart rate was so loving high they thought he had been using goddamn nose candy.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 14:13

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

Say Nothing posted:

Feck!

In the same vein

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToPRDDPN4xg

# ? Jul 3, 2016 15:48

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Inco posted:

As someone who has had a person in a car merge into my lane while I was on a motorcycle, you can jump off a bridge. The guy was absolutely right to get mad as hell, because it's fuckheads like that person who don't know how to drive that get people killed.

I've had a person in a car merge into my lane when I was in a car, and while I also got mad as hell I also didn't continue trying to drive alongside them because I'm not a gigantic tool.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 17:42

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 17:51

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

speak to a therapist

# ? Jul 3, 2016 18:52

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

Thinking like that doesn't mean I'm a psychopath, those are normal thoughts for everyone!

# ? Jul 3, 2016 18:55

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Lotta serious posting in this thread

# ? Jul 3, 2016 18:56

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Sometimes while driving I fantasize about running motorcyclists off of the road and then exiting my vehicle and continuing to inflict injury on them with a variety of blunt and edged objects while they futilely mewl for mercy. Everybody does it. Goons freak out about the stupidest things.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:01

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Post Your Favorite (or Request) � Schadenfreude Thread: PYF Murder Fantasy

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:32

Rondette: Nov 4, 2009; Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.; Grimey Drawer

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:34

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

I'm glad I don't drive anymore with people like you on the road.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:41

mod saas: May 4, 2004; Grimey Drawer

my favorite schade is the steady trickle of weirdos and monsters outing themselves over the most unexpected things

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:46

Ultimate Shrek Fan: May 2, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

If you are serious, you need some mental help.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:48

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

One time I took out a bicyclist with my car door. I couldn't stop laughing over his injured body as I took his wallet for damages to my door. I still buy one McDonald's double cheeseburger a year with his credit card. Just a small tradition to remind myself of the best moment of my life.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:49

mod saas: May 4, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Solice Kirsk posted:

One time I took out a bicyclist with my car door. I couldn't stop laughing over his injured body as I took his wallet for damages to my door. I still buy one McDonald's double cheeseburger a year with his credit card. Just a small tradition to remind myself of the best moment of my life.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 19:54

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Solice Kirsk posted:

One time I took out a bicyclist with my car door. I couldn't stop laughing over his injured body as I took his wallet for damages to my door. I still buy one McDonald's double cheeseburger a year with his credit card. Just a small tradition to remind myself of the best moment of my life.

You let a bicyclist live? drat, that's some cold poo poo. Fate worse than death, wearing them tiny stretchy clothes and gay helmets day-in day-out, always making people want to hurt them. Not finishing off a wounded cyclist is pretty hardcore, dude. I wish we all had your courage, honestly. I just don't have the heart for it.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:01

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

"One should not suffer a cyclist to live." - Mallius Birota

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:07

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Solice Kirsk posted:

One time I took out a bicyclist with my car door. I couldn't stop laughing over his injured body as I took his wallet for damages to my door. I still buy one McDonald's double cheeseburger a year with his credit card. Just a small tradition to remind myself of the best moment of my life.

Dammit, now I have a boner and I'm hungry! :mad:

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:39

Telemaze: Apr 22, 2008; What you expected hasn't happened.; Fun Shoe

Adix posted:

my favorite schade is the steady trickle of weirdos and monsters outing themselves over the most unexpected things

My favorite is the goons who take joke posts super seriously. They're just so earnestly offended it is cute.

p.s. kill all motorcyclists

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:41

NiceAaron: Oct 19, 2003; Devote your hearts to the cause~

It was just a prank, bro

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:44

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Adix posted:

my favorite schade is the steady trickle of weirdos and monsters outing themselves over the most unexpected things

My favorite is how many people don't recognize irony posting even though this forum pioneered the art form.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:46

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

# ? Jul 3, 2016 20:49

TheRagamuffin: Aug 31, 2008; In Paradox Space, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.

The schaden is the sheer volume of the whooshing sounds that just occurred.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 21:15

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

TheRagamuffin posted:

The schaden is the sheer volume of the whooshing sounds that just occurred.

cross over with the osha thread because i now have hearing loss from the sustained noise

# ? Jul 3, 2016 21:33

Osama Dozen-Dongs: Nov 29, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

Sometimes while driving I fantasize about running motorcyclists off of the road and then exiting my vehicle and continuing to inflict injury on them with a variety of blunt and edged objects while they futilely mewl for mercy. Everybody does it. Goons freak out about the stupidest things.

But only if they're attractive lady motorcyclists. Bicyclists are fine, too.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 21:43

SiKboy: Oct 28, 2007; Oh no!😱

As Buddhists say; "If you see a biker on the road, kill him"..

# ? Jul 3, 2016 22:02

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

SiKboy posted:

As Buddhists say; "If you see a biker on the road, kill him"..

# ? Jul 3, 2016 22:10

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Also consider most know how to drive, but would put more effort into avoiding a dog or raccoon than they would a motorcyclist.

I mean, yeah, it's harsh, but the first thing people generally think about when they see a motorcycle on the road is that it would be totally awesome to see that motorcycle ramp into a drainage ditch on the side of the road, ideally separating the rider in twain. There's a reason why one of the top activities people do while driving in open-world games is running down every motorcycle they see. Even better in Sleepy Dawgs when you could open the car door into the path of oncoming bikes.

I, too, used to always think "Man it would be hilarious if that guy fell down and got hurt" whenever I saw a motorbike on the road. Then one day there was an accident and I got to see a man's severed head. I don't think that anymore.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 22:20

Elfgames: Sep 11, 2011; Fun Shoe

Nuebot posted:

I, too, used to always think "Man it would be hilarious if that guy fell down and got hurt" whenever I saw a motorbike on the road. Then one day there was an accident and I got to see a man's severed head. I don't think that anymore.

well duh you already got your wish.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 22:38

breadshaped: Apr 1, 2010; Soiled Meat

Nuebot posted:

I, too, used to always think "Man it would be hilarious if that guy fell down and got hurt" whenever I saw a motorbike on the road. Then one day there was an accident and I got to see a man's severed head. I don't think that anymore.

Were the eyes open? :twisted:

# ? Jul 3, 2016 22:51

Regalingualius: Jan 7, 2012; We gazed into the eyes of madness... And all we found was horny.

Bedshaped posted:

Were the eyes open?

Can you really tell when they're popped out?

# ? Jul 3, 2016 23:12

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

Regalingualius posted:

Can you really tell when they're popped out?

I guess they would've had to have been for that to happen.

# ? Jul 3, 2016 23:30

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Bedshaped posted:

Were the eyes open?

No clue, I could only see the back of the head, an ear and the neck stump which was plenty gross for me to not try for a better look. Dude should probably have worn a helmet or something. :shrug:

# ? Jul 3, 2016 23:35

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# ? May 13, 2024 23:24

Cobweb Heart: Mar 31, 2010; I need you to wear this. I need you to wear this all the time. It's office policy.

Telemaze posted:

My favorite is the goons who take joke posts super seriously. They're just so earnestly offended it is cute.

p.s. kill all motorcyclists

it's fun to imagine what sincere shock must be going through the minds of sponges like that who rush in to show everyone that they're completely mentally normal and do NOT support random murder. Oh heavens, what a horrible thing to think!! How best to register my disapproval? Perhaps a fun little emoticon, like the one where a guy walks in through the door and is horrified by what he sees? That's one of my faves

There's my scooty froodly-doo for th' day! Haw haw

# ? Jul 3, 2016 23:56

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