Germany Thread: KEIN FASCHISMUS LEUDE BIDDE

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Germany Thread: KEIN FASCHISMUS LEUDE BIDDE

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frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Excuse, me, if we could drive all the religious extremists and neonazis from Oberfranken into Unterfranken, then burn Unterfranken to the Grundmauers, then put Oberfranken on stilts and flood the planet, that would be cool.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 18:55

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# ? May 13, 2024 07:15

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

az posted:

The rest of Germany would band together first and saw off your stilts from below because you can't have nice things god damnit.

The second the rest of Germany bands together to do anything, they'd murder themselves over the various cancers of the mouth they call dialect, and then get laughed at by unintelligible Oberfranken high atop their stilts, enjoying one of hundreds of local beer brands.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 18:56

GaussianCopula: Jun 5, 2011; Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

Westfalia is the best because you can be Catholic and Prussian.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 18:57

Randler: Jan 3, 2013; ACER ET VEHEMENS BONAVIS

GaussianCopula posted:

Westfalia is the best because you can be Catholic and Prussian.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 18:59

GABA ghoul: Oct 29, 2011

I like all Germans, north and south ones :shrug:

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:00

botany: Apr 27, 2013; by Lowtax

GaussianCopula posted:

Westfalia is the best because you can be Catholic and Prussian.

GC in a nutshell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khmpbuEzV24

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:01

az: Dec 2, 2005

waitwhatno posted:

I like all Germans, north and south ones

Only a spy would say such a thing

Also I'm launching a killerspiel right now, god bless us all.

Shots fired, steam friend yells at me what I'm doing playing violent video games since they are not allowed here.

az fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Jul 25, 2016

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:01

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

I play World of Tanks, which is highly problematic for a German, historically speaking.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:05

botany: Apr 27, 2013; by Lowtax

az posted:

Only a spy would say such a thing

Also I'm launching a killerspiel right now, god bless us all.

Shots fired, steam friend yells at me what I'm doing playing violent video games since they are not allowed here.

az posted:

edit: I'm gonna play somne killerspiele tonight pray to allah I don't snap thank you.

that's twice in a row, reported you to the authorities.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:06

Randler: Jan 3, 2013; ACER ET VEHEMENS BONAVIS

az posted:

Also I'm launching a killerspiel right now, god bless us all.

Shots fired, steam friend yells at me what I'm doing playing violent video games since they are not allowed here.

This man is your friend. He fights for freedom.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:07

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

GaussianCopula posted:

Westfalia is the best because you can be Catholic and Prussian.

The worst of both worlds.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:09

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Talk what you want about NRW. I usually don't have any trouble understanding anyone. Unless I go to some Kaschemme in K�ln I guess.
Oh Yeah! The dialect in D�ren is also completely unintelligible. Listening to Holl�ndisch ist more understandable than that!

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:14

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

You know what else is Lava? Saechsisch and Schwaebisch. Can we agree on that?

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:18

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

The difference is that people from NRW actually know how to speak correctly and only sometimes use made up nonsense to confuse bystanders.
Those other people never learned anything else and had no access to actual culture. I can't blame them and can only pity them for their flawed childhood in a desolate hell hole devoid of actual language.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Jul 25, 2016

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:42

Lawson: Apr 21, 2006; You're right, I agree.; Total Clam

Duzzy Funlop posted:

You know what else is Lava? Saechsisch and Schwaebisch. Can we agree on that?

du gannst mr mal n buggl rundrrudschn

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:44

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

I was born im Allgaeu, to a father from Sylt, a mother from Muenster, grew up in South Africa, returned to Oberfranken, and served in Oberschwaben in the Bundeswehr. Language/dialect-wise, I am the daywalker.

ASK: me about how much fun Grundschule was in Oberfranken after coming straight AUSM BUSCH and speaking Hochdeutsch

please don't

hey santa baby posted:

du gannst mr mal n buggl rundrrudschn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanoi

Duzzy Funlop fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Jul 25, 2016

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:45

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

Y'know, if I was a global brand in terrorism, and someone managed to pull off a literal suicide bombing where they manage to only kill themselves, I don't think I'd be so quick to lay claims to that. Just saying.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:53

Jygallax: Oct 17, 2011; Every human being deserves respect. Even if if they are a little different.

My Lovely Horse posted:

Y'know, if I was a global brand in terrorism, and someone managed to pull off a literal suicide bombing where they manage to only kill themselves, I don't think I'd be so quick to lay claims to that. Just saying.

They're desperate

# ? Jul 25, 2016 19:56

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

Jygallax posted:

They're desperate

old men, bombing the world

# ? Jul 25, 2016 20:06

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

I'm sure they managed to horribly and permanently maim a dude or four with that bomb.

e: also that VVVVVV

aphid_licker fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Jul 25, 2016

# ? Jul 25, 2016 20:20

Perestroika: Apr 8, 2010

My Lovely Horse posted:

Y'know, if I was a global brand in terrorism, and someone managed to pull off a literal suicide bombing where they manage to only kill themselves, I don't think I'd be so quick to lay claims to that. Just saying.

It's not so much that they're looking for prestige from the attack itself, they're fishing for a response. If they can cause a panic and get people (particularly the government) to become more hostile towards muslims, they're furthering their propaganda goals. ISIS' whole thing is projecting the idea that there's an ongoing, unavoidable war between muslims and the west, to give themselves legitimacy and to drive recruitment.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 20:24

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Air is lava! posted:

The difference is that people from NRW actually know how to speak correctly and only sometimes use made up nonsense to confuse bystanders.
Those other people never learned anything else and had no access to actual culture. I can't blame them and can only pity them for their flawed childhood in a desolate hell hole devoid of actual language.

Visit Sachsen-Anhalt, in most parts of the state they speak good Hochdeutsch as well. Although it gets worse the closer you get to Sachsen, obviously. I was a small child when the wall fell and my parents quickly decides to move us to their relatives in NRW, and nobody thought I had a dialect.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 20:34

Nektu: Jul 4, 2007; FUKKEN FUUUUUUCK; Cybernetic Crumb

waitwhatno posted:

Elektroschockhalsb�nder die auf Allahu Akbar und die N�he von kecken blonden M�dels reagieren.

Kann man ein neuronales Netz auf Blondinenerkennung trainieren? Sind Informatiker im thread die sich da auskennen?

Nee geht nicht. Neuronale Netze gibts nicht in so bl�d.

Smirr posted:

Will it explode? :ohdear:

Nektu fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Jul 25, 2016

# ? Jul 25, 2016 20:49

Einbauschrank: Nov 5, 2009

Nektu posted:

Will it explode?

Always to be expected with those migrants who don't want to return to Africa.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 21:36

Lucy Heartfilia: May 31, 2012

Einbauschrank posted:

Always to be expected with those migrants who don't want to return to Africa.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 22:01

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

Einbauschrank posted:

Always to be expected with those migrants who don't want to return to Africa.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 22:20

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

I don't even get it. Thanks, recent short ventures into GBS.

# ? Jul 25, 2016 22:28

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

So with suicide bombers knife attackers and pistol wielding fascists attacking germany, will.we return to a time that the country needed a protection squad to deal with such troubles?

# ? Jul 25, 2016 23:42

elbkaida: Jan 13, 2008; Look!

Protection squad has a good ring to it, will propose that at the local AfD meeting!

# ? Jul 26, 2016 00:43

az: Dec 2, 2005

Nice Gartenzwerg you have there good B�rger, would be a shame if something were to happen to it.

# ? Jul 26, 2016 00:55

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

elbkaida posted:

Protection squad has a good ring to it, will propose that at the local AfD meeting!

It sounds like a really good idea, but we have to be very careful not to verscheiss it this time.

# ? Jul 26, 2016 06:34

Mithaldu: Sep 25, 2007; Let's cuddle.

Re Ansbach:

quote:

wurde auf dem Handy des Mannes ein Video gefunden, auf dem er einen �Racheakt� gegen Deutsche ank�ndigt � und zwar daf�r, dass diese Muslime umbr�chten. Der T�ter spreche im Video Arabisch. Eine erste �bersetzung habe ergeben, dass der Mann sagte, er handle im Namen Allahs. Au�erdem habe der Mann sich auf Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi bezgen, den Anf�hrer der Terrormiliz IS.
Der Polizeivizepr�sident von Mittelfranken, Roman Fertinger, f�gte hinzu, man habe bisher kein Bekennerschreiben bei dem Mann gefunden. Bisher habe man auch keine direkten pers�nlichen Beziehungen zu terroristischen Personen oder Gruppen feststellen k�nnen. Dass es Hinterm�nner gegeben haben k�nnte, schlie�en die Ermittler aber noch nicht aus.

De Maizi�re betont, dass es beim T�ter von Ansbach eine Sicherheits�berpr�fung gegeben habe. Zu ihm habe es keine auff�lligen Daten gegeben. Fingerabdr�cke allein reichten nicht, um solche Taten zu verhindern. Dazu br�uchten die Beh�rden Vergleichsdaten.

Der Attent�ter von Ansbach war dem IS-Sprachrohr Amak zufolge ein "Soldat des Islamischen Staates". Das teilte Amak am Montag im Internet mit. Er habe die Tat als Antwort auf die Rufe des IS begangen, die Koalition zur Bek�mpfung der Terrormiliz anzugreifen, hie� es in der Botschaft. Das IS-Sprachrohr berief sich dabei auf eine nicht n�her genannte "Sicherheitsquelle" der Terrormiliz.

Der Fl�chtling war offenbar in Bulgarien in die Europ�ische Union eingereist und als Asylbewerber registriert worden. Sp�ter reiste der Mann nach Deutschland weiter, wo das Bundesamt f�r Migration und Fl�chtlinge (Bamf) aber seinen Asylantrag ablehnte und eine R�ckf�hrung nach Bulgarien anordnete. Das Bamf habe dann aber selbst die Abschiebeanordnung wieder aufgehoben, wohl wegen gesundheitlicher Probleme des Syrers. Vor zw�lf Tagen habe das Bamf dann neuerlich eine Abschiebung nach Bulgarien unter dem sogenannten Dublin-Verfahren angeordnet, sagte Herrmann. Diese Anordnung w�re innerhalb von 30 Tagen zu vollziehen gewesen. Gem�� den Dublin-Regeln ist dasjenige EU-Land f�r Asylbewerber zust�ndig, das sie als erstes betraten.

quote:

2014 kam der Syrer nach Deutschland. Am 24. August des Jahres soll er den Beh�rden erkl�rt haben, warum er Unterschlupf suche. �Ich f�rchte mich vor dem Tod und Dem�tigung. Ich will keine Waffen gegen Menschen tragen. Ich habe Angst vor einer R�ckkehr nach Syrien, weil ich zu einem M�rder werden k�nnte�, zitiert die �Bild�-Zeitung seine �ngste aus seiner Asyl-Akte. Angeblich sei der 27-J�hrige in seiner Heimat mehrfach festgenommen worden, weil er Videos von Demonstrationen ver�ffentlichte.
Zu seiner Familie sagte er: �Meine Frau und meine Kinder sind gestorben. Sie wurden von Splittern verletzt. Mein Haus wurde bombardiert.� Zu seinen Eltern will er damals keinerlei Kontakt mehr gehabt haben. Er gab zudem an, dass die beiden im Gef�ngnis s��en.
Wie kam der Mann nach Deutschland? Der Syrer soll �ber Bulgarien in die Bundesrepublik gekommen sein. Zwei Monate habe er dort im Gef�ngnis gesessen. Dort sei er geschlagen worden. Er gab an: �Ich wurde nicht medizinisch versorgt, obwohl ich Splitter im K�rper habe.�

Bavaria's president of ministers is thinking loudly about permitting deportation of criminals into war zones.

Bavaria's health minister wants to expand availability of psychic health services, particarly related crisis services.

The various ministers of the interior of the german states are in agreement that police will need to be made available in bigger numbers for public events, and federal & state powers need to work together more to be able to investigate internet-related crimes better. All of this will be discussed in november by them.

Mithaldu fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Jul 26, 2016

# ? Jul 26, 2016 06:46

Mokotow: Apr 16, 2012

Does anybody here know D�sseldorf? I'll be moving there soon and I'm not sure if I should just stick to living close to the office (Hafen) or live somewhere else that's totaly amazing and I would miss out if I didn't.

# ? Jul 26, 2016 12:56

Drone: Aug 22, 2003; Incredible machine

Mokotow posted:

Does anybody here know D�sseldorf? I'll be moving there soon and I'm not sure if I should just stick to living close to the office (Hafen) or live somewhere else that's totaly amazing and I would miss out if I didn't.

This'll be your neighborhood if you stick close to work. And if you can afford it.

# ? Jul 26, 2016 13:20

BabyFur Denny: Mar 18, 2003

Welcome to the best city in Germany!
Medienhafen is rather expensive to live in.
Bilk is close by and has some cool areas. Pempelfort is also a good place to be, but a bit further from Medienhafen (15-20 minutes by tram).

send me a message once you arrived and I can give you a tour through the Altstadt

# ? Jul 26, 2016 13:23

Mithaldu: Sep 25, 2007; Let's cuddle.

Mokotow posted:

Does anybody here know D�sseldorf? I'll be moving there soon and I'm not sure if I should just stick to living close to the office (Hafen) or live somewhere else that's totaly amazing and I would miss out if I didn't.

Use immobilienscout24 to look for an apartment. Most non-germans don't seem to know about it, and it is fantastic.

# ? Jul 26, 2016 13:25

Mokotow: Apr 16, 2012

Thanks for the info! I've worked for the company for two years and visited the Hafen offices (and hotels) almost weekly. Finding a place to live is another thing altogether!

BabyFur Denny, will take you up on it once I move my rear end over.

Mokotow fucked around with this message at 14:03 on Jul 26, 2016

# ? Jul 26, 2016 13:59