Dial-a-Dog posted:

Haha yeah it's definitely weird, but I'm assuming there was probably other stuff the dude wrote off or ignored and this was her hail Mary pass

loquacius posted:

Be the change you want to see in the world then, smash the patriarchy

I definitely sperged my way out of several sure things as a teenager, because my self esteem was so low in my formative years that the idea someone could possibly actually want to mess around with me took a while to seem plausible. Hearing it in plain English would have helped speed things along.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yeah younger me was guilty as well, I "get it" and hope reddit helps him out.

"My crush came over in a nurse outfit and her boobs were all hanging out and stuff, soooo distracting. She kept talking about examining me and putting on rubber gloves real slow. Well, long story short, 3 consultations later I'm still not vaccinated for Typhoid! What gives reddit?"

quote:

Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend [24F] Longish, Need advice on how to get over her cheating on me with 4 friends over time

So start this back 4 years ago. I was into drugs heavy. I had 3 girlfriends (names changed for privacy) Ashley- highschool gf of 5 years, Courtney- drug gf (just drugs and sex) and Casey-New gf no drugs just drinking

All the girls find out about each other and it's over for all of them. The only one who wants to stay and fix me is Casey( the new gf)

So I go to rehab and get clean. We still drink but I'm not doing drugs. I don't cheat on her, do anything bad. We still party and such. We work for a goal to get our own place with cats. I get a good job, we get a house. I've heard rumors about her loving this kid named Jake and this other kid Tyler. I ask her about it she denies it. Long story short, I go on her computer to backup my new iPhone and her old messages pop up, she did gently caress them (not at the same time and this was back when I was doing drugs and cheating) she admits it since there's concrete evidence. Using what I did in the past as a excuse for what she did.

Fast forward to last month. I texted a girl I just met asking her to hangout. Casey finds it and we fight for a whole week straight

Friday comes around and she says she's going out with her girl friend to the bar that's a 2 min walk from our house. I get a feeling in my stomach telling me something bad is going to happen. She says she's going to be home by midnight due to her friend having to leave. So I go to my buddy's house and hangout until 12 then head home. I get there, she's not home.

I call her and call her, no answer. It's now 1:50 bars around here close at 2am so I go to the bar and look for her, she's not there, nor is her friend. It's now 2:30 and I finally get ahold of her. She's fkn hammered. Says she's with this kid Ryan. I know Ryan, he used to bang my ex. Instantly I knew what was going down. She says Ryan is driving her home . She can't even talk she's so drunk. a 5 min walk turns into a hour car ride? im not a idiot.

Keep in mind I live a 5 min walk from the bar. A hour goes by, still not home. My buddy calls me and says she's at a nitrous party with Ryan. He picks me up and I go there. She's laying with her back to him on the couch. Basically cuddling. I tell her to get up and leave with me. She refuses cuz she's so drunk. Tells people when I leave the room that I'm her "phsycho ex boyfriend" I'm not, im her current boyfriend, we have a fkn house together.

All I was doing was trying to make sure she was not taken advantage of for the second time of the night. She finally comes home with me, since we caused so much drama at the illegal nitrous party, they kicked her out too. She says she doesn't remember what happened with Ryan but says "I know something happened but I don't know what"

Through word of mouth I find out they had sex. I try to talk to him, since he was a old "friend" I have his number, snapchat and everything. He reads but ignores everything I say to him.

Im mad she had sex with 4 of my old "friends" in the past but the thing that kills me the most is how she acted at the party. She feels terrible, feels disgusting. I was not perfect, but I changed. She says she has a alcohol problem and is stopping drinking for good. People are talking about her, calling her a "easy slut" and poo poo like that. It makes me look so stupid. She's so beautiful and so nice, it kills me she made this image for herself, because she did this publicly. Everything I did was behind closed doors. Does that make me better? No not at all, but others don't talk about me like that.

When I went to that party it was her (the only girl) and 7 dudes. I honestly think she could of got a train ran on her. It's hosed up any boyfriend should even consider this a possibility. She feels terrible about the bar night. we cry together every day. I know shes sorry and if she could take it back she would. its not about her loving that ryan kid, honestly about how she acted at the party. refusing to leave with the only person who was not about to take advantage of her (again)

Tl;dr hosed up past, lead to gf getting drunk and having sex with 4 of my old "friends" don't know if it was ever justified on her part. Don't know how to move past it or accept it.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

"My crush came over in a nurse outfit and her boobs were all hanging out and stuff, soooo distracting. She kept talking about examining me and putting on rubber gloves real slow. Well, long story short, 3 consultations later I'm still not vaccinated for Typhoid! What gives reddit?"

Pick posted:

"She's been joking about how we 'totally could have been having sex all day', but that's weird because we were just hanging out. Oh, and now she's tired, too tired to drive home right now. I guess she can stay in my room tonight, she did ask nicely. *lays out a sleeping bag on the floor*"

Redmanred posted:

Gaunab posted:

Ross Perowned posted:

God, I can hear the Jnco jean chains rattling through that post.

Gaunab posted:

batteries! posted:

My girlfriends need to be specialists, I can't just drink and do drugs with the same person

quote:

He bought molly and we took it maybe an hour ago, and it hasn't worked yet. Should I break up with him? He's 22 and I'm 20 and we've been dating for about 4 months. We normally watch King of the Hill and I give him bj's before I fall asleep.
tl;dr My bf bought bunk molly. Yes, this means MDMA, nerds.

Nazzadan posted:

My bf is such an rear end in a top hat.

quote:

So anyways, I'm 18, he's 22, and we've been dating for around a year. He's a pretty active poster on this one site and I found a topic he made. Basically in the topic he and some of his friends talk about 'schwing-worthy' topics and pictures, the majority of these pictures being pictures of underage anime girls who look like they're twelve. My bf is really into the anime scene btw.

Well anyways, he claims that he just has those pics and comics because he found the expressions cute, but if it's just 'cute', then why would he talk about them being hot/sexy and arousing? Plus, these are like...pictures of what looks like little kids. Is this kind of thing normal? This is my first relationship so I'm not sure what to think.

quote:

I have never been in a relationship, and never felt the need for one. There were guys who courted me, but I have only felt fearful, avoidant, and repulsed by such attempts. I have no problems being friends with males, but once they express a desire to move beyond a platonic relationship, I break off all ties.

I do find some males attractive, and I had several crushes in high school, but never once have I felt the need to date, sleep with, or have any form of romantic relationship with anyone. I never accept invites by male friends, single or not, to any kind of engagement outside of school or work.

Despite my resistance to rl guys, I have fantasies of being with fictional characters from anime, and I indulge in virtual games, manga, and anime to fulfil my need for intimacy. I have only ever imagined myself together with an anime character in romantic and sexual contexts, and real people just put me off.

Now that I'm 25 and fast approaching an age when I should be looking towards a committed relationship and marriage, I'm frequently questioned by curious family, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and pure strangers about my single status. Do I share with them what I said here, or will I be judged harshly for being unconventional (if that's the word)? Plus I am wondering how common my situation is. Anyone else experiences the same thing?
tl;dr: I am repulsed by real men, and only crave intimacy with fictional characters.

Pick posted:

"She's been joking about how we 'totally could have been having sex all day', but that's weird because we were just hanging out. Oh, and now she's tired, too tired to drive home right now. I guess she can stay in my room tonight, she did ask nicely. *lays out a sleeping bag on the floor*"

Nazzadan posted:

I (25F) only crave intimacy with anime characters

quote:

I [25F] found out my fiance [31M] married his close friend [35M] who he stays over with when he works elsewhere in the country; I'm a mum to [4/M], where do I go next?

First time here. Don't really understand this site's etiquete but I'll try.

I have been with my boyfriend, now fiance, Jack,since I was 20 and he was 26, we were students when we met. We got engaged a year ago; Jack did a surprise proposal at the luxury car dealer I work at, it got into the local papers here in our bit of the UK. Jack works away a bit; he works in sales/promotions as a travelling salesman/sales rep and has to travel for his job, which he's done since he was 21. Jack's work involves sales of technical equipment for nighclubs and bars, sound equipment etc.

He sometimes has to stay over at his friend Stuart's house in another town down in the South of England (we live in Northeast England) and has a long drive. I've never actually met Stuart but know what he looks like from photos and other things.

Stuart is technically a co-worker, as he works for one of the firms my fiance's employer has as a client, he's a promoter for a small record company with hip-hop artists and up-and-coming local bands, not big name artists, just local ones in their region.

Anyway, he came home from work yesterday afternoon (he'd been down South again visiting clients) and told me he'd got a big announcement to make; he admitted to me, well, confessed more like, that he'd married Stuart, got some strangers as witnesses, and that he only did it as a "marriage of convenience", and he and Stuart pretended to be a gay couple who'd been engaged for a few years.

Stuart is not gay, he has a girlfriend (who doesn't live with him yet, even though Jack told me they've been together 3 years), Jack's shown me photos of him socialising with Stuart and his girlfriend and their friends at a local pub.

I asked my husband flat out if he was gay, he said no, it was just somethign he had to do, to semi-officialise him lviing in Stuart's house evry so often.

I am a mum to a 4-year-old boy and this is causing me intense heartache and pain, and I don't really know how to cope.

It's one thing that he married his friend, but he's also the father of my son, so Jack'll be in my life at least until our son is 18.

Guess I needed to vent. Need advice. Am I with a married man, now, technically?

tl;dr: Fiance married his friend and claimed it was marriage of convenience.

Panfilo posted:

he should poo poo at work since he's at least getting paid for it

Tender Bender posted:

When I hear my crush masturbating right next to me, I: Go outside and sit in the cold, windswept grass, frozen in terror until the sun comes up.

Nazzadan posted:

I (25F) only crave intimacy with anime characters

reddit in response to some girl admitting she changed her okcupid answers to get a higher match % with some boy back in high school posted:

I've done something like this. Basically I am a man of voracious sexual appetite combined with the fatal character flaw of falling in love with every woman who pays me the least bit attention, so one day at work a random girl came in and made delightful small talk with me in a way that really excited my roosevelt and naturally I decided that i would try to get her to love me, but once she left I realized i'd probably be better off watching from afar before i try to make any move.

Of course i kept a copy of her receipt. I usually did that anyway with hot girls so I could look them up on facebook and masturbate to their photos- it's a university town so it's easy to narrow down students and if I have their full name it's cake. the best was when girls were buying underwear. or the ones who were clearly uncomfortable going to a male cashier with their lingerie and were awkward and all that with me but i just put on a smile and pretend it's fine and thanks to my photographic memory i could go home and masturbate relishing in the thought that i knew exactly what they would be wearing.

Anyway back to the story at hand. My Aphrodite was obviously a student at the university so i found her on facebook and quickly realized that her profile was wide open, meaning i could see all of her statuses and photos- every update. it's not stalking because it's public information anyway and whatnot. so i had her receipt, i found her on facebook, and it began quite innocently, like i was just masturbating to her swimsuit photos three or four times a day but then i realized that i TA in the building right next to where her major classes were. so i began to pay attention to her status updates, hoping to catch when she'd be in the building. not for any nefarious purpose, I just wanted to see if i could maybe track her down like a wild sow or something and pretend like i was nigel thornberry.

Well, as i said before i am a man of diverse sexual tastes and after the first few times i saw her wandering across the causeways between our buildings and my subsequent masturbating in janitorial closets i decided to step it up a notch. by that point i already had memorized her class schedule, at least in the building next to mine, so i knew where she was at most given moments. THIS is where i thought to maybe do something like OP here did, like pretend like i'm in her classes and that we're compatible and whatnot, but then i realized i'm not the best looking guy and she might remember me from the store and i should probably just stick to my normal technique of hiding in the women's restroom and masturbating to the sounds they made on the toilet- something I've done since early teenagehood and something I've mastered.
So I posted up like a military sentinel on a bench in her ac building where i knew she had class. the first few classes were futile- would my darling ever piss? was she a camel? alas, it took a few tries but on the third or fourth day of waiting i caught her slip out of class towards the women's restroom. i buried my head in an book and let her pass. then as soon as she went into the bathroom i hobbled over at full mast, glanced around like a perverted priest in an orphanage, and slipped furtively into the bathroom.

I perched on a toilet like a crow to hide my hairy ankles and crocs so no lady would see me in their domain. Almost immediately, the concerto of her bowel movement graced my ears. Toccata and Fugue in poo poo Minor- an artful evacuation of the rectum. Sensual yet gripping: it sounded like she was making fart noises with her mouth, but I could detect the verisimilitude. It was sublime. I conducted my typical stealthy masturbatory symphony, relishing in the stench reeking into my stall from hers. It was 8 or 9 minutes that felt like an eternity and I still can't hide in womens' restrooms without wistfully remembering that great day.

And as quickly as it began it was over, and she flushed, and washed, and was gone. I try not to get hung up on women too badly so I told myself she'd be out of my life forever. Barely holding back tears, I took one nostalgic glance into her stall, just to solidify the memory forever, when I realized that upon the toilet seat was a spiky black pubic hair.

Naturally I snatched the pube like Smeagol and his precious, and to this day it occupies a special spot in my wallet, going around with me everywhere i go as a romantic reminder of what true love feels like- that love is everywhere, all around us, and inside all of us, and sometimes all that it takes to realize said love is an ungodly bowel movement and a lonely forgotten pubic hair.

quote:

Toccata and Fugue in poo poo Minor- an artful evacuation of the rectum. Sensual yet gripping: it sounded like she was making fart noises with her mouth, but I could detect the verisimilitude. It was sublime. I conducted my typical stealthy masturbatory symphony, relishing in the stench reeking into my stall from hers.

Regulation Size posted:

Helsing posted:

My [24F] father [60'SM] attacked my brother [16M]. My brother knocked him out and my father committed suicideNon-Romantic

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

rrelationships: perched on a toilet like a crow to hide my hairy ankles and crocs

quote:

This reminds me of one of my earliest truly sexual memories, something that profoundly affected me and changed the way I viewed human sexuality. My sister was a few years older than me so when I was in the depths of early adolescent sexual depravity she was a gorgeous 17 year old nymph who would often prance around the house in a bra and panties, sauntering and pouting with all the sexual energy of a healthy proud young woman. She knew I admired her figure, and was always quick to let me run sunscreen or lotion on her and maybe even "accidently" grab her boob and she'd laugh and giggle and I'd run off to the nearest bathroom or portajohn to rub one out so it was quite a healthy and happy sibling relationship. I knew from careful observation and the occasional foray into her trash can and hamper that she was indeed sexually active, but the degree of her exploits was unknown to me until I discovered, while searching for a token to keep in my fap box, a rubbery black strapon, hidden carefully in the back of that no-man's-land between headboard and wall. A quick scientific sniff led me to conclude the use of this artificial phallus was both masturbatory and coital, and you can be sure that for the rest of the time I lived at home, that black strapon kept me company during my darkest and most lonesome moments.