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Since I've only seen cockatoos in Internet videos of them being huge shits, it somehow just never occurred to me that they are real animals that actually exist in the wild and now the way I think of nature has been totally changed.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 12:01 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 09:18 |
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Iirc this is a wild bird and the person left their window open: Birdenfreude Thread
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 12:14 |
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Tofu Terry posted:Iirc this is a wild bird and the person left their window open: Yet another relative of the Cockatoo
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 12:18 |
A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:Since I've only seen cockatoos in Internet videos of them being huge shits, it somehow just never occurred to me that they are real animals that actually exist in the wild and now the way I think of nature has been totally changed. they also exist in captivity, which is often amazingly stupid and cruel because they, like most/all parrots, are really social creatures and require a shitload of stimulation having a cockatoo as a pet means: - your neighbours will hate you (cockatoos basically communicate by screeching and screaming at 5 million decibels) - unless you want to be the proud instigator of animal cruelty/neglect, you as the owner must fulfill the social duties of an entire goddamn flock. which means it needs to be on/near you basically always - anything it touches gets destroyed. even with all the stimulation that nature and a giant flock bring, wild cockatoos have a primal urge to destroy everything they can get their claws on. a pet cockatoo.. well, do IKEA, Apple, and Amazon have frequent flier points? You might need to sign up - the angrier you get, the more excited they get. if they can pinpoint an action that visibly pushes your buttons, they will repeat that either ad nauseam or with the timing of a master psychologist. they loving love riling you up - they have the emotional maturity of little children and will often bite things. and these are not little birds - those beaks are designed to crush nuts and strip the bark from trees Cockatoos are great and I always wanted one as a kid, but thank god I never got one. The only way I'd keep a cockatoo now is if I lived on a farm with an aviary the size of a barn out back and about fifty other birds in there. Which is never going to happen, so I'm stuck with the schadenfreude of watching other people's youtube videos
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:05 |
Have some cockatoo videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRsfOGJ5lZg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35FcCsjwRZ0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fphSfjShySI The schadenfreude is on the owners who have to take care of a psychotic beaked 3 year old for 30-80 years
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:13 |
That's the great thing about the modern world, those of us without pets effectively have everybody else's pets, in 30-second photogenic increments.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:14 |
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Data Graham posted:That's the great thing about the modern world, those of us without pets effectively have everybody else's pets, in 30-second photogenic increments. It's the best parts of owning a pet without the worst parts of owning a pet, paid for by the kind of person who videotapes their pets in the hopes that they do something funny.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:16 |
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Sulla-Marius 88 posted:Have some cockatoo videos I can't stop laughing at that first one.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:19 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXgjG_noNEU Holy gently caress this one gets amazing at 1min 35sec (watch it from the start).
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:28 |
Periphery posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXgjG_noNEU The casual intensity with which cockatoos rampage is amazing. They're like the bird version of Calculon crossed with Roberto.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:32 |
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gschmidl posted:I can't stop laughing at that first one. I had a feeling I knew what video that was before opening it It started a great bird thread not long ago https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3743086
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:34 |
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gschmidl posted:I can't stop laughing at that first one. Its that look of wonder every time it lowers the cup. "When I scream into this thing, it sounds weird! "
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:34 |
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Sulla-Marius 88 posted:- they have the emotional maturity of little children and will often bite things. and these are not little birds - those beaks are designed to crush nuts and strip the bark from trees They will also lie. I had a friend whose father owned a cockatoo and its second favourite thing in the world was getting its head scratched by strangers. Its very favourite thing was luring hesitant strangers in to scratch its head by saying, "No bite! Happy!" and lean its head towards them until it was almost sideways and make some very gentle bobbing motions until the person got the courage to scratch it. And then it would bite them.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:43 |
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Like i said:Malachite_Dragon posted:They're malicious toddlers with feathers. The other would start bellowing "SHUT UP, JOE-BOB! SHUT UP!" Malachite_Dragon has a new favorite as of 13:49 on Oct 6, 2016 |
# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:46 |
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A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:Since I've only seen cockatoos in Internet videos of them being huge shits, it somehow just never occurred to me that they are real animals that actually exist in the wild and now the way I think of nature has been totally changed. What is this "the wild" business? I live in suburban Melbourne and there's regularly hundreds of the fuckers just hanging out on front lawns near my house. The funniest thing I've ever seen one of them do was land on a power line that was too narrow for it to grip properly. It promptly tipped over until it was hanging upside down. It sounded like the ones on the ground started laughing at it while it tried vainly to tip itself the right way up.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:48 |
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A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:Since I've only seen cockatoos in Internet videos of them being huge shits, it somehow just never occurred to me that they are real animals that actually exist in the wild and now the way I think of nature has been totally changed. I am reminded of this article. quote:Today, Dr. Masello’s hands are covered with bite scars. He has had four operations to repair a broken knee, a broken nose — “the little accidents you get from working with parrots,” he said.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:50 |
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These guys hate parrots with the white‐hot passion of a thousand Suns (source (1877)):quote:PARROTS.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 13:53 |
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Gorilla Salad posted:They will also lie. This reminds me of a trip I took to a pet store with my dad when I was very little. A cockatoo was sitting quietly on top of a cage until he walked past, when it jumped onto his shoulder and bit his ear. Totally unprovoked. We had to go home because it wouldn't stop bleeding.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 14:04 |
snucky posted:i live on oahu and watching tourists get plowed on beaches has been a great pastime for decades. i highly recommened sandies (i think offically called 'sandy beach park'). notorious shore break that will piledrive the poo poo out of you even when you're paying attention. i believe the current stats this year are 1 fresh parapalegic every 3 weeks. Tourists find new and amazing ways to bewilder me. Just the other day I was out on a beach with some friends and there's a family all just on their phones while their kid walks out further and further on the rocks. By the time we left he was playing on the memorial marker left for someone else who died in the waters on that same drat spot. HelloIAmYourHeart posted:This reminds me of a trip I took to a pet store with my dad when I was very little. A cockatoo was sitting quietly on top of a cage until he walked past, when it jumped onto his shoulder and bit his ear. Totally unprovoked. We had to go home because it wouldn't stop bleeding. This sounds about right. I know a guy with a conure and he always gets upset that I hate the little monster. If I don't keep my eye on it at all times it will try to quietly climb around his house like a feathery ninja just so it can try, again, to eat my fingers.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 14:54 |
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People who own birds as pets are the worst. They're so much worse than cat people.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:07 |
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What if you live in Mongolia and your pet bird is a golden eagle, and its diet consists of small wild cats?
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:12 |
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https://twitter.com/LPDonovan/status/784031314399887360
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:14 |
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im pooping! posted:What if you live in Mongolia and your pet bird is a golden eagle, and its diet consists of small wild cats? Those aren't pets. Don't they use them for hunting?
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:14 |
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It's been an odd sort of a day for schadenfreude news: Politician demonstrates how classy his party is by getting knocked the gently caress out at a party conference http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/06/ukip-leadership-favourite-steven-woolfe-collapses-at-european-parliament-6175325/ Young lady demonstrates why a firm grip and a flared base is important http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/06/student-got-vibrator-stuck-up-her-backside-during-sex-with-boyfriend-6174685/
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:14 |
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Birds are awesome. My father in law has an African Grey that will start barking to get the dogs going and then laughs about it. He also gets a kick when the kids get in trouble. He'll knock over full cups and try to blame them. Like I said, birds are
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:15 |
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This completely breaks my heart. That poor dog.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:17 |
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My parakeet loved to throw food down to the dog. She would drag pieces of toast and fruit to the edge of the cage, throw them off the top (the food was on the top and she was out), then watch as the dog came and ate it. Then she would do a little bobbing dance an go find another piece of food. She and the dog had a great relationship. She would do this regardless of whether the other bird was still eating or not. She would be dragging food to the edge and he would be running after, trying to grab bites before it was gone forever.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 15:37 |
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:This reminds me of a trip I took to a pet store with my dad when I was very little. A cockatoo was sitting quietly on top of a cage until he walked past, when it jumped onto his shoulder and bit his ear. Totally unprovoked. We had to go home because it wouldn't stop bleeding. The same thing happened to my uncle but with a monkey
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 16:06 |
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Bonster posted:My parakeet loved to throw food down to the dog. She would drag pieces of toast and fruit to the edge of the cage, throw them off the top (the food was on the top and she was out), then watch as the dog came and ate it. Then she would do a little bobbing dance an go find another piece of food. She and the dog had a great relationship. The bird thread in PI has convinced me that parrots and other pet birds are adorable and that I would never, ever want to own one. The gif of the cockatoo screaming at the barn owl originally came from there.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 16:29 |
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They are enormously challenging sometimes, extremely messy, destructive and loud. They're also very personable, charming and full of personality. They are definitely not a pet for everyone.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:02 |
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spog posted:Young lady demonstrates why a firm grip and a flared base is important I'm not sure that it's a good idea to get a story like that published when you are a student teacher. Future schadenfreude I guess.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:12 |
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Gorilla Salad posted:They really are like toddlers, but evil. Cute. But evil. That owns e: Gorilla Salad posted:They will also lie.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:41 |
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spog posted:Young lady demonstrates why a firm grip and a flared base is important How the hell does that get into the news? I work Emergency and literally everyone I know (including me) has multiple stories about patients who stuck things up their butts and had to go to hospital. It's up there with having a news story about how a guy broke his arm that one time.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:41 |
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Silentgoldfish posted:How the hell does that get into the news? I work Emergency and literally everyone I know (including me) has multiple stories about patients who stuck things up their butts and had to go to hospital. It's up there with having a news story about how a guy broke his arm that one time. Because she's British hot and posed for pictures holding a big dildo
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:45 |
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:This reminds me of a trip I took to a pet store with my dad when I was very little. A cockatoo was sitting quietly on top of a cage until he walked past, when it jumped onto his shoulder and bit his ear. Totally unprovoked. We had to go home because it wouldn't stop bleeding. Your dad basically got roughed up by a Max Sec prisoner.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:15 |
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Azhais posted:Because she's British hot and posed for pictures holding a big dildo Why the gently caress would you pose for photos for that story unless you work for some sort of sex shop or porn site? It's going to bite you in the rear end later. Wtf. Also, 'I don't know where it went, I though he hid it' yeah right, he railed you in the rear end with a dildo and lost it up there. Unless you both were really that drunk I guess.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:18 |
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Wow, he really went out of his way to avoid telling them who to actually vote for.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:31 |
Outrail posted:Why the gently caress would you pose for photos for that story unless you work for some sort of sex shop or porn site? It's going to bite you in the rear end later. Wtf. The tabloid would have paid her a bunch of money and there is no end of people willing to 'debase' themselves for money or to get their face in the news. She might also not be as hung up about sex as your average goon.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:39 |
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A friend of mine saved two baby racing pigeons that had been abandoned by their parents. A hawk got one of them (the nicer one), but she still has the crabby one who bites people when it is stressed out and stands on people's heads as a display of dominance. It bit me over the weekend when she had a bunch of friends over. On the other hand her ex-boyfriend used to let the birds sleep in his beard when they were little and it was hilarious. (His beard was very big and fluffy.) That's my bird story, thanks for reading.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:47 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 09:18 |
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Sulla-Marius 88 posted:The tabloid would have paid her a bunch of money and there is no end of people willing to 'debase' themselves for money or to get their face in the news. She might also not be as hung up about sex as your average goon. It's not about people get hung up on sex, it's more that an article like that can lead to you never being taken seriously. Again, "student teacher". If that's secondary school, well, better find a different profession because teenagers would be savage about a thing like that. I knew one student teacher who appeared on television dating show called Take Me Out. None of the female contestants wanted to go out with them (and the way the show works is that there are like thirty of them) and they edited his entire appearance to make him look like the saddest, most oblivious guy on Earth. If he hadn't dropped out at the end of the the first year it would have kept haunting him throughout his career.
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# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:55 |