/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

I also cannot love in the true sense of the word because my brain is broked and I go overboard on everything BoYLE style

# ? Oct 12, 2016 22:39

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# ? May 9, 2024 04:06

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

say what you want about the tenets of polyamory dude, at least it's an ethos

Jeffrey, do you see what happens when you gently caress a stranger in the rear end?

# ? Oct 12, 2016 22:40

Manticorny: Sep 7, 2016; It's a sad and beautiful world.

Battle Royale Baby posted:

but do you think the same person that can't handle a cooking tool or shopping cart without hurting someone or their property can play an instrument?

he could be a bassist :iamafag:

# ? Oct 12, 2016 22:43

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Man, I have the occasional issue or minor fight with my girlfriend, but holy poo poo. That post about the girl who contracted a STD (after not getting tested!) from her boyfriend is just plain amazing. How are some of these people able to successfully dress for work in the morning, let alone have a relationship with an actual human being?

# ? Oct 13, 2016 00:29

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Bonzo posted:

Prep the heffer
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/amorous-trio-who-sleep-together-9029654?ICID=ref_fark

# ? Oct 13, 2016 01:03

Carrion Luggage: Nov 24, 2006

Bonzo posted:

Prep the heffer
ref_fark

well, well, well

look what we have here boys

# ? Oct 13, 2016 01:04

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

I don't see a problem with poly relationships if they are all happy & involved in one relationship

Where it's comical is when you have these monogamous people who embrace an "open relationship" where both parties are free to make individual pursuits without the other involved which seems like a recipe for relationship disaster

36/m married suspect wife 36/f - open marriage advice

quote:

Wife and i have been married for over 10 years with 2 children under 10. We recently opened our marriage to spice things up .

It had been going well and our rules were 1)be safe (protection) and 2) be honest about everything. I recently broke rule 2 and saw a person without telling her about it and thus broke her trust. She found out by looking at my phone and seeing texts back and forth with the person. She does not feel she can trust me and I am trying to rebuild that desperately. This occurred a week ago.

In the midst of this I accidentally uncovered a journal of hers that had names written in it. My name was at the top of the list and there were 45 additional names. I should point out that I was her first lover.

At the bottom of the list are 4 people that she has told me of from our open status. That leaves 40 people that i have no idea about. My question is 1)doesn't this appear to be a "conquest" list? and 2)where to go from here? I want things to work for the children, but i don't understand why she would intentionally hide this when we are both working to rebuild trust that I have broken. Maybe she prefers I am the martyr?

# ? Oct 13, 2016 01:23

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Anyone on r/relationships can feel better that at least they aren't on r/polyamory and anyone on r/polyamory can feel better that at least they aren't on r/incels.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 01:38

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

berth ell pup.

I just wanted to revisit it, definitely the highlight of the thread still.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 01:52

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Tender Bender posted:

berth ell pup.

I just wanted to revisit it, definitely the highlight of the thread still.

OFFICER DOWN

# ? Oct 13, 2016 02:08

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

My [24f] boyfriend [29m] is in the hospital. Everyone is upset that I refuse to visit him.

quote:

Dating for almost three years now, it's been an amazing relationship to be honest, he's a great person and I really enjoy spending time with him and he generally makes my life a lot happier.

However, it's just one of those periods where I'm extremely annoyed at him and I don't know how to even react right now.

My boyfriend got ran over by a car recently. It happened because he went to his home city (we live a few hours away) and went back to his "old neighborhood" where he proceeded to meet up with some of his friends from "back in the day". As he was texting me throughout the day I could already tell he was drinking/smokign weed etc. I asked him several times, he said he wasn't, said he might in the evening. I told him I don't want to talk to him if he's going to drink, he told me "Idk, we'll see I'm not really sure I will" but of course - that was a lie. He started drinking at 11 in the morning because that's when he met up with his friends.

Anyway, usually we chat throughout the day on messenger, but that day he spent forever to respond to me. I understand - he's with his friends, he's talking to them, having fun etc. so I don't blame him for taking his time to respond, I'm just pointing this out.

After around 6 o'clock he stopped responding to my messages completely. I messaged him three times in a row and thought that he was either drinking, he was already passed out drunk, or he left his phone somewhere etc. Anyway, I went to sleep pretty early because I had work in the morning. Instead I get woken up at 5 a.m. by a phone call from a mutual friend (one of his friend's girlfriends) who proceeds to inform me that her boyfriend, my boyfriend and another guy are all in the hospital. She later calls me back and tells me that he's been run over by a car, but doesn't know the details.

Since then I've been able to piece the story together more or less by talking to a bunch of different people. What happened was the ran into somebody they had a serious issue with when they were younger and confronted that person about something. Said person told them to gently caress off, they all proceeded to get into a fight with that guy and his friends and later they all dispersed. My boyfriend and two other guys were later walking to a club (Already, I'm ticked off.) and saw that other guy's car parked outside of a store. They wanted for that guy to walk out and as he got in his car, my boyfriend ran up to him again and punched him in the face through his car's window. The guy put his car in reverse, slammed one of my bf's friends and knocked him down to the ground, before going forward again and running my boyfriend over at almost full speed. Thankfully he managed to cover his head/jump up and he survived. Guy drove off, but later he got into a car accident (as he was drunk as gently caress apparently) and killed himself.

My boyfriend has a broken ankle, broken (not sure about this) arm, a mild concussion, cracked his head and his ribs. He's been in a hospital for almost a week now (this might sound strange to Americans, not trying to be rude, but this is common where I'm from).

I haven't been picking up his phone calls/answering his messages (aside from the one where we talked about what happened and he kept it pretty vague, so I had to talk to other people) and I haven't visited him. His parents are apparently upset at me, our mutual friends are upset at me saying I'm being "childish" and he keeps messaging me from time to time saying he wants to see me and he's sorry. But I'm really pissed off and I don't know what to do.

Get drunk
Do something extremely stupid multiple times
Apparently go to a club, going to "pick up some girls" no doubt.
Almost loving die
I'm heated. Idk how to handle myself, what to say, or what to do in this situation. Can you guys give me some guidance/advice?

tl;dr: Boyfriend got drunk, got into a fight which resulted in him and his two buddies almost getting killed by a guy who tried to run them over. I don't know what to do/say. I'm very upset, everyone says I'm being childish/unreasonable.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 02:23

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Hahahahaha, she opened up the marriage because she was cheating anyway and was like "poo poo, this sneaking around is EXHAUSTING"

# ? Oct 13, 2016 02:24

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

Just posting this here to remind myself to check for updates on her eventual Murder by Manchild

My boyfriend [26M] and I [20F] have been having boundary problems with our autistic coworker [20M]

quote:

My boyfriend and I will have our 1 year anniversary in May. We met at work and still work together now. The only problem we've had at work is with our coworker.

I was friends with said coworker before I knew my boyfriend and he apparently developed a crush on me. At first, I honestly didn't even know he liked me. I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and at first, he didn't treat me any different than as a friend.

However , once he found out I went on a date with my now boyfriend, he made his crush painfully obvious. He revealed his feelings for me by telling me he really liked me, and that I was the first girl he ever really wanted to be with. I told him that I didn't share the same feelings, but that we could just stay friends. This is when the real problems start.

He would come in to work and cry over me and my boyfriend being together. He would say my boyfriend stole me from him. So once again I told him we could never be more than friends.

He escalated, saying he just wanted to kiss me, or give me a hickey. I always flat out said no, and that that would not be appropriate. He would come to my work area and try to sing to me.

Then things got serious. He started telling our other coworkers he was going to hit my boyfriend with a hammer, and that since my boyfriend is bigger than him, he'll just have to run him over with his car. This is when management got involved. They wrote him up and talked to him about workplace violence. (I think the reason he hasn't been fired is because he has autism and has a hard time understanding what is appropriate at work and what is not. He often takes everything as a joke and sometimes I honestly don't think he realizes how serious some of the things are that he says/does). He even tried to get my boyfriend fired by saying my boyfriend intentionally hit him, even though we had witnesses that said that the time he was referring to was when my boyfriend had accidentally bumped into him, and that the incident had happened months ago.

Since about 4 or 5 months ago things had calmed down for a while. The managers told my coworker to only say hi and bye to me at work, and he had been respecting that for the most part.

However, issues have started up again in the past couple of weeks. He's taken to hiding around corners at work and jumping out and scaring me. He at one point put his arm around my throat and whispered, "I'm the guy that's gonna get you." When I told him to get off, he said it was just a quote from a movie. (For the record, he does quote movies all the time, but I thought this was out of line).

The final straw though was tonight, when my manager pulled me aside at the end of work and said the security guards at my job had kicked my coworker off the premises because he was lingering after work waiting for me. Then when my boyfriend walked me to my car that night, I could tell my coworker had been in my car. I had my back window down while I was at work, and when I went to get in, everything that I had had in the backseat was placed in the driver's seat. My boyfriend hadn't moved it, and neither had I, so I can only think of one person who could have done it.

I really don't know what to do at this point. I've told him to leave me alone, but he doesn't seem to get it. I don't want him to get fired, but if I report him again I think he will. My manager said a while back that if he gets one more strike then he's gone.

I know this all sounds crazy but trust me when I say that if he didn't have a handicap (mental illness? Sorry not sure what the right word is) I would have tried to get him fired a long time ago.

So what should I do? And would he get more aggressive if he believed I was the reason he lost his job?

Tldr: obsessive coworker with autism has boundary issues, me and boyfriend don't like it. How far is too far?

Edit: sorry I forgot to mention in the original post that about a year ago he gave me a ride home when my car broke down. So I'm not sure if he would remember where I live or not...

Update: First of all I want to say thanks for all of the comments I got. They were all insightful and helped me to realize the severity of the issue.

I talked to my manager today and told him that my coworker had been in my car last night. He told me HR had been contacted about the issue, but he recommended I file a police report. Now tomorrow my coworker has to talk to the head of security at ny job and may be terminated. Hopefully if he doesn't get fired he'll at least realize how serious this is.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 02:43

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Lol, blaming grade A stalking, explicit threats, and harassment on autism.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 02:57

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Regulation Size posted:

My [24f] boyfriend [29m] is in the hospital. Everyone is upset that I refuse to visit him.

Holy poo poo.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 03:04

Manticorny: Sep 7, 2016; It's a sad and beautiful world.

loquacius posted:

Do they at least hook up with women, I've heard that's a common bi thing (hooking up with same gender, dating other gender)

is party-bi an actual orientation?

# ? Oct 13, 2016 04:12

Stato-Masochist: Aug 22, 2010; the air is fresh, there's plenty of parking, plenty of space to walk around

Manticorny posted:

is party-bi an actual orientation?

One of my exes had sexual attraction to both men and women, and had several same-sex encounters, but she had absolutely no interest in pursuing a committed relationship with a woman. I don't know if that qualifies as partly-bi, but I'd always previously assumed that if you were sexually attracted to either you'd be willing to have a relationship with either. I guess not necessarily :shrug:

E: So basically, what loquacious is saying is a thing in my anecdotal experience. Though, she never made it a point to identify herself as bisexual.

Stato-Masochist fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Oct 13, 2016

# ? Oct 13, 2016 05:22

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

That's just called hedonism

# ? Oct 13, 2016 07:05

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Gaunab posted:

Holy poo poo.

Yeah holy gently caress

# ? Oct 13, 2016 07:20

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

ikanreed posted:

Lol, blaming grade A stalking, explicit threats, and harassment on autism.

"He murdered my dog and left a note in her blood saying he wants to wear my womb as a coat, but he's autistic and doesn't know better I think so I let it slide."

mind the walrus fucked around with this message at 07:44 on Oct 13, 2016

# ? Oct 13, 2016 07:38

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Gaunab posted:

Holy poo poo.

I really like the burn at American Healthcare in there :v:

# ? Oct 13, 2016 07:40

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

my boyfriend's a great guy, except when he's intentionally deceptive and assaulting people from his youth

# ? Oct 13, 2016 07:51

sixth and maimed: Mar 20, 2012; Fun Shoe

Stato-Masochist posted:

One of my exes had sexual attraction to both men and women, and had several same-sex encounters, but she had absolutely no interest in pursuing a committed relationship with a woman. I don't know if that qualifies as partly-bi, but I'd always previously assumed that if you were sexually attracted to either you'd be willing to have a relationship with either. I guess not necessarily

My wife is the same; she calls it bicurious rather than bisexual because she's not romantically interested in women, only sexually.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 09:23

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

corn on the cop posted:

my boyfriend's a great guy, except when he's intentionally deceptive and assaulting people from his youth

I refuse to talk to my boyfriend but I have a very clear idea of what happened to put him in the hospital after not talking to him so now I'm gonna stop talking to him and not visit him in the hospital after he nearly got murdered!

You can disagree with his decision to confront a person from his past, but leaving him to rot in the hospital is loving brutal.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 09:46

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Both of those people have BPD

# ? Oct 13, 2016 11:33

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

KomodoWagon posted:

I refuse to talk to my boyfriend but I have a very clear idea of what happened to put him in the hospital after not talking to him so now I'm gonna stop talking to him and not visit him in the hospital after he nearly got murdered!

You can disagree with his decision to confront a person from his past, but leaving him to rot in the hospital is loving brutal.

her bf got trashed and indirectly caused the death of another person trying to assault them over some (probably) trivial poo poo from the past. I'd be pissed too if I were her

# ? Oct 13, 2016 13:39

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

CharlestonJew posted:

her bf got trashed and indirectly caused the death of another person trying to assault them over some (probably) trivial poo poo from the past. I'd be pissed too if I were her

I think it's a stretch to blame a drunk driver getting in an accident on a guy he'd been fighting personally

I dunno even if you rightly think your boyfriend is an idiot it still seems like the "done" thing to show up at the hospital and tell him so in person, he's gotta be going through some rough poo poo right now

# ? Oct 13, 2016 13:47

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

She seemingly doesn't know if it was trivial, and you certainly don't. Her boyfriend didn't force that rear end in a top hat to drive drunk and kill himself with his own car, and frankly, one less drunk driver isn't a heartbreaking tragedy. Again, the guy confronted an old enemy, and you can agree or disagree with him on that call, but nothing he did warrants the kind of treatment she's giving him. If she thinks his drinking is ruining their relationship, she can face him and end it, but just leaving him hanging while he's stuck in a hospital is ice cold and a p. horrible thing to do to someone you claim to love.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 13:50

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Honestly I can think of a few people from my past I'd sock if given the chance and I bet you can, too.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 13:51

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

I really don't blame her for wanting nothing to do with the boyfriend, but it'd still be the better move to go to the hospital and cut ties in-person. It'd be piling it on for the guy but really there's nothing more to do unless you're a crazy person.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 13:52

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

The panic from being jumped by a few guys and punched in the face probably messed with his driving abilities (along with the alcohol)

# ? Oct 13, 2016 13:56

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I think the alcohol probably did more

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:03

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Since he was clearly already driving drunk I sure hope getting jumped pushed him far enough that he crashed and killed himself with no injury to innocent bystanders

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:05

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Back to funny stuff

My [27M] girlfriend [25F] has a habit of pulling pranks on me. Today I got fed up and ended the relationship, now she won't leave me alone, what can I do?

quote:

My girlfriend hnd I have been dating for almost 1 year and have been friends for little over 2. She has a habit of pulling pranks but soemtimes these pranks of her can annoying (or dangerous) like pretending to give me a bj but straight away throws up food on my boxers, blow dryer filled with flour, putting icy hot on toilet seat early in the morning (not fun when on testicles), Vaseline in bath tub (I shower without my glasses so I can't see clearly and have lost my balance in the past).

The pranks get very annoying and she has the internet to resort for ideas. I have clearly told her that I don't appreciate these pranks, especially the ones that are hurtful. Well today, she decided it would be funny to block my car's exhaust. Only to find out that my car won't start and I may have lost my engine. I don't know whats wrong with the car and it won't start at all. My girlfriend things this is funny but I don't appreciate this.

So today I broke up with her right on the spot as she was laughing, then suddenly got tearful and apologetic. I clearly communicated with her that I don't want to put up with your pranks anymore, you won't listen and I told you to stop. This is not funny to me anymore so its best if I leave you.

I left our apartment and am now living with a friend until I find my own place. My girlfriend will not stop calling me and apologizing. She'e even got all our friends involved, mine and her parents (heck all our family members). She won't leave me alone even though I broke up with her and I don't want to continue, what do I do?

TL;DR: My girlfriend has a habit of pulling pranks on me. Today I got fed up and ended the relationship, now she won't leave me alone, what can I do?

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:08

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Dear Reddit, my girlfriend won't stop ~~trying to kill me~~ pranking me

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:21

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

Dial-a-Dog posted:

Dear Reddit, my girlfriend won't stop ~~trying to kill me~~ pranking me

clearly some sort of prank-based assassin, that guy should watch out

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:32

Ross Perowned: Jun 14, 2012; Shit in my hand and say yeah

quote:

pretending to give me a bj but straight away throws up food on my boxers

That's not a prank but an honest reaction to your peen, boy.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:33

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

KomodoWagon posted:

She seemingly doesn't know if it was trivial, and you certainly don't. Her boyfriend didn't force that rear end in a top hat to drive drunk and kill himself with his own car, and frankly, one less drunk driver isn't a heartbreaking tragedy. Again, the guy confronted an old enemy, and you can agree or disagree with him on that call, but nothing he did warrants the kind of treatment she's giving him. If she thinks his drinking is ruining their relationship, she can face him and end it, but just leaving him hanging while he's stuck in a hospital is ice cold and a p. horrible thing to do to someone you claim to love.

He's not a superhero, violently "confronting an old enemy" isn't a thing that needs to happen.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 14:44

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

CharlestonJew posted:

clearly some sort of prank-based assassin, that guy should watch out

Her dad is the Agent 47 and she was practicing the moves.

# ? Oct 13, 2016 15:08

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# ? May 9, 2024 04:06

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGbgAisf6_c

# ? Oct 13, 2016 15:11

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