/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Dirtbag Diva: May 27, 2005

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/what-open-marriage-taught-one-man-about-feminism.html

"Monogamy meant I controlled her sexual expression, and, not to get all women’s-studies major about it, patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man’s fear that a woman with sexual agency is a woman he can’t control. We aren’t afraid of their intellect or their spirit or their ability to bear children. We are afraid that when it comes time for sex, they won’t choose us.

When my wife told me she wanted to open our marriage and take other lovers, she wasn’t rejecting me, she was embracing herself. When I understood that, I finally became a feminist."

Ugh, I finally finished reading this and the follow-up and I'm so angry with both of them for how ridiculous they are.

Like:

quote:

How does it work? We take turns going out. Because we have small children (ages 6 and 3), one of us stays home. (We don�t like to use babysitters because it gives us a curfew; we�d rather go out unfettered than worry about turning into a pumpkin at midnight.)

That's so sad. Of course you view the marriage being open as a better option if it's literally the only way one of you gets away from the kids. Parents go on dates (and get hotels) for a very important reason and if you're neglecting to nurture the relationship with your spouse because it's easier/cheaper for you to take turns dating, then no wonder you think sex with other partners is the solution.

Then the part where she doesn't answer the phone for half the day because she fell asleep at the dude's house. These folks must forget the big part of dating (for women at least) where you give your best friend/roommate the place you're going and a good check-in time to make sure you're okay. You can sure as poo poo bet my roommate knew the last name of my date and had his MySpace (lol) bookmarked just in case.

I was audibly eye-rolling through that whole article and when I brought it up to my husband,, he pointed out people seem to forget that for a lot of people, dating is finding the person you want to settle down with. So there's gotta be some misrepresentation to their "dates" about their relationship status. Of course, judging by how insufferable they both seem, the danger of someone falling for them seems pretty low.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:23

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# ? May 13, 2024 23:55

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

I don't think these guys think things through. It is extremely easy for women to get laid. The woman in an open relationship will universally have better luck than the guy. These guys are delusional.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:23

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Leon Einstein posted:

I don't think these guys think things through. It is extremely easy for women to get laid. The woman in an open relationship will universally have better luck than the guy. These guys are delusional.

In this case, it wasn't the guy wanting to get laid. It was the guy believing monogamy was inherently patriarchal which is an absolutely insane mindset.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:24

Dirtbag Diva: May 27, 2005

SirSamVimes posted:

In this case, it wasn't the guy wanting to get laid. It was the guy believing monogamy was inherently patriarchal which is an absolutely insane mindset.

I think that's what really rankled my oysters. My husband and I consider ourselves feminists and him doing mental gymnastics to make it seem like they were doing it for The Womyn when his wife admitted she doesn't consider herself much of a feminist in the follow-up just...ugh. Like, please don't give Rush Limbaugh and his ilk more ammunition to make us look like ball-busting harpies.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:35

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Another tool of Patriarchy dismantled.

Checkmate monogamists!

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:38

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/what-open-marriage-taught-one-man-about-feminism.html

"Monogamy meant I controlled her sexual expression, and, not to get all women’s-studies major about it, patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man’s fear that a woman with sexual agency is a woman he can’t control. We aren’t afraid of their intellect or their spirit or their ability to bear children. We are afraid that when it comes time for sex, they won’t choose us.

When my wife told me she wanted to open our marriage and take other lovers, she wasn’t rejecting me, she was embracing herself. When I understood that, I finally became a feminist."

Hahaha, oh jesus christ.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:48

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I don't believe for a goddamn second that the kid who has been denied video games his entire life wants suddenly to rebel and play a particular Pokémon on a particular handheld

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:49

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

tactlessbastard posted:

I don't believe for a goddamn second that the kid who has been denied video games his entire life wants suddenly to rebel and play a particular Pokémon on a particular handheld

Why not?

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:55

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Leon Einstein posted:

I don't think these guys think things through. It is extremely easy for women to get laid. The woman in an open relationship will universally have better luck than the guy. These guys are delusional.

Yet these guys will keep on suggesting an open relationship not realising that they won't be happy with it.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:55

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

tactlessbastard posted:

I don't believe for a goddamn second that the kid who has been denied video games his entire life wants suddenly to rebel and play a particular Pokémon on a particular handheld

what? I'm confused what you're saying? He probably (hopefully) has friends, and they have video games and therefore has played them, he's just reached a point in his life where he realizes mom and dad are dumb for denying him something that will not cause him undue harm in his life*

*provided he doesn't sit and play games all day.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:56

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

This one's great. MY PENIS IS SO LARGE IT'S WRECKING MY LIFE/BUTTHOLES

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2105595/my-penis-is-so-big-im-worried-girls-just-use-me-for-one-night-stands-its-wrecking-my-life/

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:05

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

SirSamVimes posted:

Why not?

If he's totally locked down, then he probably doesn't have a smart phone. It seems to me that a teenager today without a smart phone is essentially neutered and would rebel against that. If he had a smart phone then he'd have plenty of access to games.

Also, I could be wrong but it seems to me that Pokémon players are a crowd slightly younger than me who caught it when they were kids and are now the only market as young adults.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:07

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Devian666 posted:

This one's great. MY PENIS IS SO LARGE IT'S WRECKING MY LIFE/BUTTHOLES

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2105595/my-penis-is-so-big-im-worried-girls-just-use-me-for-one-night-stands-its-wrecking-my-life/

Statistically that has to happen to somebody, but I can't help but imagine a lovely 00s tween flick starring Josh Hartnett while reading that drivel.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:08

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

tactlessbastard posted:

If he's totally locked down, then he probably doesn't have a smart phone. It seems to me that a teenager today without a smart phone is essentially neutered and would rebel against that. If he had a smart phone then he'd have plenty of access to games.

Also, I could be wrong but it seems to me that Pokémon players are a crowd slightly younger than me who caught it when they were kids and are now the only market as young adults.

Man, I don't think you grok "tiger" parents, which is how she described her own parents. It has been around forever as a parenting style but picked up its name from the Amy Chua book that came out like, five or six years ago, and made all sorts of parenting science types flip out. It's kind of interesting (but a little trite, and not super successful) as a philosophy, if you want to look it up.

I'd bet $1000 that this girl's parents are conservative and traditional Asians, upper-middle class professionals, and have every aspect of her life on lock because the expectations put on her are so insane. She probably does have a phone, but has been instructed to use it only to talk to her parents and teachers, and that's just How It Is.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:25

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

tactlessbastard posted:

If he's totally locked down, then he probably doesn't have a smart phone. It seems to me that a teenager today without a smart phone is essentially neutered and would rebel against that. If he had a smart phone then he'd have plenty of access to games.

Also, I could be wrong but it seems to me that Pokémon players are a crowd slightly younger than me who caught it when they were kids and are now the only market as young adults.

What? No dude pokémon is for kids. There are adults who play but they're not the target audience.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:40

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Just read Picks awful story three pages go on my commute home and put her on ignore.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:40

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Tender Bender posted:

What? No dude pokémon is for kids. There are adults who play but they're not the target audience.

So kids, then. Not teenagers.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:41

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

tactlessbastard posted:

So kids, then. Not teenagers.

I don't know why you're accepting of both adults and small children playing pokémon but the idea of someone in between is some kind of gamer catfish.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:43

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Ash should've stayed monogamous with Pikachu but nooo, he wanted to open up their relationship so they could catch other pokemans but he forgot that Pikachu cannot catch any pokemon himself. You bastard, Ash.

Truly, in a poly relationship there's always a loser.

Stay monogamous, kids.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:52

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Regulation Size posted:

Man, I don't think you grok "tiger" parents, which is how she described her own parents. It has been around forever as a parenting style but picked up its name from the Amy Chua book that came out like, five or six years ago, and made all sorts of parenting science types flip out. It's kind of interesting (but a little trite, and not super successful) as a philosophy, if you want to look it up.

I'd bet $1000 that this girl's parents are conservative and traditional Asians, upper-middle class professionals, and have every aspect of her life on lock because the expectations put on her are so insane. She probably does have a phone, but has been instructed to use it only to talk to her parents and teachers, and that's just How It Is.

Yeah that's what I assumed. And I don't think a kid like this is going to pull some huge 180 in college either, usually if things go bad it manifests in some kind of mental breakdown but not necessarily drug or sex binges.

Frankly if I were a parent having a secret Gameboy would be a much bigger relief than something like pregnancy, drug addiction, shoplifting, etc.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:55

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

Stop biting off on the circular open relationship circle jerk or you assholes will close the thread.

:justpost:

My [21F] boyfriend [23M] called me a "white trash disappointment"

quote:

I'm using this throwaway account because mine has too much information about me. Anyway.
My boyfriend, Don is a complicated guy. To other people he can seem like a bad person, but he is really just unique. Well I like him. Although he can be quite mean to me at times, I don't think he means the crap he says. Well me and him have been fighting a little more than usual recently. Well last night he was going to hang out with his "boys" and he wanted a ride to and from the bar. And I obliged. Except he said he would be done at 9 and I waited for him. I called and called but he ignored my calls and I finally sent him a a message at 10:15 and told him I was going to sleep because I had work. Well come midnight he calls me and tells me to go pick him up. It's late, I was asleep and I had work in less than 7 hours. I wasn't going to get up and pick him up, a half hour away. So I told him go get an uber, and hung up. And that was that. I called him this morning to apologize for not picking him up. But he ignored me again. And I called him again when I got off work, about 2 hours ago and he picked up. He said this "I thought you were in it for me, I thought you had my back. But you're just a piece of white trash disappointment... Like you're family." And then he hung up. That really hurt because he knows I hate that. My family is very working class and struggled raising us kids. To an outside perspective we can seem "white trash" but we really aren't. My family is loving and kind. My boyfriend is Latino and his family is one of snobbiest I've ever met. My boyfriend mocks me for only speaking English while he can speak 3 languages fluently... Ugh sorry I didn't want to bring his family into this.! But he brought mine. Sorry. Anyway. Do you think this is a deal breaker? He can be charming and sweet when he wants. I just wish I knew how to make him be that way always.
tldr: boyfriend called me a mean name.

It's so 100% archetypical abusive rear end in a top hat, right down to "he's a complicated guy" and "he can be charming and sweet when he wants". My knee jerk reaction is fake, but this is a trope for a reason and people like this really do exist so...

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:08

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Glenn Quebec posted:

Just read Picks awful story three pages go on my commute home and put her on ignore.

Please don't post in this thread to snipe at other posters. I'm serious, I don't want to see it, the thread does not care what you think about Pick's posts.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:13

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

He sounds like a total loving douche and she should follow the thread's de facto advice.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Panfilo posted:

Frankly if I were a parent having a secret Gameboy would be a much bigger relief than something like pregnancy, drug addiction, shoplifting, etc.

I have a very distinct memory from when I was 16, where my parents got really really mad at me because I didn't want to wear dark socks with a khaki/sportcoat outfit for some special occasion or other, and I couldn't stop laughing because I realized all at once how loving white we were to be having that argument in the first place, let alone have it be considered something worthy of raising your voice over

I was like "I have never even tasted alcohol :lol:

SirSamVimes posted:

Edit: MY GIRLFRIEND and I like talking about the fantasy of bringing in another girl, but we both agree that we could never share.

same, I think this situation is fairly common actually

Sort-of related, one of my friends and her boyfriend once got in a huge fight because she wanted to have a threesome, he didn't, and she got drunk one night and tried convincing him, and for some reason the first name that came to mind as an example potential threesome partner was her ex-boyfriend. He did not like that one bit.

Dirtbag Diva posted:

I think that's what really rankled my oysters. My husband and I consider ourselves feminists and him doing mental gymnastics to make it seem like they were doing it for The Womyn when his wife admitted she doesn't consider herself much of a feminist in the follow-up just...ugh. Like, please don't give Rush Limbaugh and his ilk more ammunition to make us look like ball-busting harpies.

Wait, I've been avoiding clicking those links because I cringe too easily

Are you telling me that the feminism angle didn't come from his wife trying to subvert it to make him let her gently caress random dudes, he just sort of made it up himself as justification? Christ, these people :psyduck:

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:19

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

Anony Mouse posted:

Stop biting off on the circular open relationship circle jerk or you assholes will close the thread.

My [21F] boyfriend [23M] called me a "white trash disappointment"

It's so 100% archetypical abusive rear end in a top hat, right down to "he's a complicated guy" and "he can be charming and sweet when he wants". My knee jerk reaction is fake, but this is a trope for a reason and people like this really do exist so...

I like how she downplays it to "boyfriend called me a mean name" instead of "my bf called me literal human garbage and I somehow havent broken up with him yet"

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:29

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Me [40/F] with my Fiance [43/M], 1 year together. My Fiance breathes deeply out of his mouth when talking on the phone and it drives me insane.

quote:

I recently noticed that my fiance breathes heavily when we are

talking on the phone and it drives me insane. I want to reach

through the phone and punch him in the face. I don't notice his

breathing when we are together. He uses a hands free headset when

on the phone so maybe that is why his breathing is emphasized. He

is also never still when on the phone, always running around and

doing something. He's definitely not out of shape or overweight so

it's odd that he is breathing heavily. I cannot stand the sound of it

and I become really irritated. I dread talking on the phone with him.

I am wondering if this is just something I've never noticed before or

if it's something new. Any suggestions? I have mentioned

how irritated the sound of his breathing makes me and he thinks I'm

making a big deal about nothing, basically he thinks I just need to

get over it.

tl;dr: My Fiance breathes heavily while on the phone and it

drives me crazy.

The mental formatting is the OP's, and I think it adds a charming poetic aspect to the post.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:41

pushpins: Sep 11, 2006; Title text (optional; no images are allowed, only text)

White trash beautiful. Trailer park queen

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:47

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

lazorexplosion posted:

Me [40/F] with my Fiance [43/M], 1 year together. My Fiance breathes deeply out of his mouth when talking on the phone and it drives me insane.
The mental formatting is the OP's, and I think it adds a charming poetic aspect to the post.

It's kind of beautiful. It reads like a really lovely haiku made by someone who's too old to care.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 01:47

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Me (23F) and BF (27M) of two years. I am struggling with forgiving myself, and it is messing with my day to day life.

quote:

Hi, I have a tendency to be long-winded but I'm going to do my best to keep this shorter. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot but through tons of hard work and therapy, our relationship is amazing right now. I love him so very much, and he is truly the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. It is crazy that I am able to say that--I am usually so indecisive, especially about relationships, but I love him. However, it was extremely tough for us about two and a half months ago. I was stressed about some school-related stuff, as was he, and we were coming off the honeymoon phase hard after moving in together. I had pleaded for things to change for months, for him to be more expressive and helpful, but nothing changed and he remained unhelpful around the house, etc, and emotionally unavailable. This distance and resentment all culminated in one terrible, awful weekend, in which he and I both made tons of mistakes (he skipped my dad's 50th birthday for a funeral after telling me he would only be there for an hour--he stayed for 10 hours, got poo poo-faced and high and lied about it, hung up on me, left me alone in a neighborhood we didn't know in the middle of the night--I was shoved by a crazy drunk guy because of this, we missed a romantic weekend because of this and bailed on money, plans, and friends, he broke up with me while drunk, and I ended up fooling around with an ex after the break up & didn't tell him right away about that for fear that we wouldn't be able to fix things if he knew. I came clean a week later and we have worked on it since). We were very close to staying broken up over everything that happened, but after talking about it and realizing that all the mistakes had come because of the distance that had grown between us over the past few months, we doubled down on boundaries, being emotionally available for each other, communication, etc. I can honestly say right now that things are the best they have ever been with us--he is finally making some connections to what I like as far as romantic gestures and where communication is concerned and we are amazing lately, really--I mean that.

This brings me to my stress right now: Boyfriend frequently messed up in the past, over big and small things (see past post history) but we have always gotten past those issues without any problems because I never resented him--I just wanted to help him through what went wrong because I love him. I, on the other hand, haven't really done much to warrant any animosity throughout this relationship up to this point. I have had much more experience with relationships than him, and it's been quite the uphill battle bringing him up to speed on how they tend to work. This subreddit has been invaluable for that, by the way, so thanks for that. Anyhow, I hold myself to a very stringent moral code and even though boyfriend has forgiven me for what happened while we were broken up with my ex, I don't think I have forgiven myself. In individual therapy, I have a terribly hard time viewing myself as a good person because of my mistakes already--but this is even worse. I know no long-term relationship is without its issues, but I feel horrible still for what I did to jeopardize us. We can't pretend that we have a fairy tale relationship ever again--things have gone wrong. I know that these feelings will easily prevent me from making the same mistakes ever again, but how do I move past the wrong I have done him? I wanted everything to be perfect for us...or maybe I could at least feel comfortable knowing that even though he had messed up, I was perfect. I don't know. I just hate myself for hurting him. I love him with all my heart. What I do know is that I get anxious about the situation once a week, usually when I'm already stressed about other stuff. I know that these feelings can only harm myself and our relationship in the long run. And I know I struggle with wanting to be perfect in all aspects of my life already, so I'm probably nervous about him thinking I'm flawed in this way now...or admitting to myself that I am flawed. I was raised to be this way--never showing flaws or faults because that would mean you weren't 'good' enough, in so many ways. I even have pretty bad anxiety about going back to therapy over this, individuals or couples, because I fear the judgement I guess. What if we bring it up again in couples counseling and he is upset by it and leaves? I know it's not that bad in my head, and I know it isn't realistically the end of the world to be alone, but for me it would be horrible because I love him so much, and this crushing feeling in my heart just seems to emerge now and then. It's almost impossible to alleviate when that happens and it gets into the way of everything--even my studies.

I should be happy. We have a great life, we have vacations planned, things are great except for this sinking feeling of...I'm not sure. Not being good enough, I guess. I know he accepts my flaws, so why can't I?

A serial poster to /r/relationships and also /r/exmormon, go figure.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:00

Spaced God: Feb 8, 2014; All torment, trouble, wonder and amazement
Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!

lazorexplosion posted:

Me [40/F] with my Fiance [43/M], 1 year together. My Fiance breathes deeply out of his mouth when talking on the phone and it drives me insane.

The mental formatting is the OP's, and I think it adds a charming poetic aspect to the post.

Ah yes, I love my posts double spaced, MLA format. No citation page though so I can't accept it.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:03

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

lazorexplosion posted:

Hi, I have a tendency to be long-winded but I'm going to do my best to keep this shorter...

*writes galtse.txt*

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:05

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

SirSamVimes posted:

Edit: MY GIRLFRIEND and I like talking about the fantasy of bringing in another girl, but we both agree that we could never share.

Lady Sybil is a goddamn saint and I will loving cut you, Sir.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:24

doyle-san: Feb 25, 2001; "This changes nothing."

The worst part about that self-important feminist faff is that there was no consent to her stepping out until she'd already kissed some peanut and resolved to "do more than kiss next time". From there, you can tell she has no respect for him; then the following mental gymnastics he used to make it all okay only prove he has no respect for himself. Christ almighty. He was so worried about the absence of his masculinity he decided that if he was a super-feminist he'd be too advanced to need it anymore.

Also, content:

Me [29F] with my boyfriend [30M] weird sims behavior

quote:

This will be quite a strange question but I never grew up playing video games so alas this is all foreign to me. We've been dating for a year and a half and its been great. Usually if I am at his apartment when he plays video games I'm in the next room reading a book, its our separate time. But today I walked in with food and I saw his sims family. It was a guy that looked like him and a woman that looked nothing like me. I'm a redhead and she was blonde. He was having sex with her in the game right in front of me like nothing was wrong and trying to romance her. Just wondering if I should be worried, it seems like he made the sim based on his own appearances... I ignored it but now I can't stop thinking about it. Is this just a normal sims thing?
tl;dr: BF made sim and is romancing another virtual woman, do I worry?

How upset do you think she'll be when she finds out he made her first then took the ladder out of the pool while she was swimming?

# ? Nov 4, 2016 04:32

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Leon Einstein posted:

I don't think these guys think things through. It is extremely easy for women to get laid. The woman in an open relationship will universally have better luck than the guy. These guys are delusional.

I've always kind of assumed that guys who get fussy and pressure open relationships are just fussy that they haven't slept with enough women to meet their magical fictional quota and don't realize that central to this problem is they just can't take a loving chill pill and stop obsessing over "missed opportunities." The result of course being that their lovely attitudes about women and sex lead them to not being successful after the relationship opens up, while the relatively well-adjusted partner who doesn't have possessing worries about this is more successful. Et voila, partners meets other people and finds out the fussy child with weird sexual preoccupations is kind of offputting so of course the relationship is ruined.

Like a chicken and egg thing maybe. tl;dr people who pressure their partners for open relationships are pathetic imo

# ? Nov 4, 2016 04:57

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

Anony Mouse posted:

Stop biting off on the circular open relationship circle jerk or you assholes will close the thread.

My [21F] boyfriend [23M] called me a "white trash disappointment"

It's so 100% archetypical abusive rear end in a top hat, right down to "he's a complicated guy" and "he can be charming and sweet when he wants". My knee jerk reaction is fake, but this is a trope for a reason and people like this really do exist so...

i wonder do you have to be really attractive to get away with being a humongous douchenozzle or just date someone really stupid

# ? Nov 4, 2016 04:56

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Tolkien minority posted:

i wonder do you have to be really attractive to get away with being a humongous douchenozzle or just date someone really stupid

Spoiler most of these people are probably fat & dumb

Girlfriend [25f] wanted to marry me just because her friend got married. I [28m] proposed. Girlfriend has now been complaining ever since that the proposal wasn't beautiful enough.

quote:

First of all, I do not want to hit the lawyer. Don't ask me to do that.
Joke aside, girlfriend is not a bad person or anything like that, but one of her best friends got married recently and my girlfriend started having this really cringey wedding fever. I don't mind marrying her, we've been together for 5 years so marriage for me isn't good or bad. If we get married, good. If we don't, fine. Either way she wanted me to propose really badly and started giving "hints", showing me wedding rings, telling me how getting married would be awesome etc.
She didn't give me any clue on HOW or WHERE I should propose, but I made it clear that it was going to happen. I made the effort of taking her out of the state to propose and bought a really expensive ring (10,000+) just because I wanted her to calm down about the whole wedding/proposal thing and make her happy. Her friend was proposed to in Italy and now she's complanining that "I really should have done it in Europe, you know? It's cooler, I don't know" and it's annoying me. What do I do?
TL;DR: gf is having the whole wedding fever thing. Kind of proposal fever though. I think she's being shallow.
Edit: word

"I don't mind if my lawful wife is you,
we've been going out for awhile so,
get married, don't get married,
don't really care I guess,
but you're being kind of annoying about it,
so to calm you down about your wedding fever,
here's this $10k rock.
Shut up about Italy now."

Nancy fucked around with this message at 05:11 on Nov 4, 2016

# ? Nov 4, 2016 04:59

Spaced God: Feb 8, 2014; All torment, trouble, wonder and amazement
Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!

Charles Get-Out posted:

Girlfriend [25f] wanted to marry me just because her friend got married. I [28m] proposed. Girlfriend has now been complaining ever since that the proposal wasn't beautiful enough.