/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I(20F) have a very high sex drive but my boyfriend (23M) does not. He sometimes rejects my advances, but now I found out he's been watching porn instead of being intimate with me?

Hi all.

My boyfriend and I have been dating two years and in the beginning we had couldn't keep our hands off each other. We had sex every time we saw each other and while its normal for this to settle down, I feel as if my libido is much higher than his.

I'll preface this by saying that I have remained the same weight and my body hasn't changed since we started dating. So there shouldn't be an issue of physical attraction. He has gained about 30-35 pounds and often comments that he hates his stomach. I'm not sure if his insecurity about his weight is relevant but I thought I'd add it.

About 8 or 9 months into the relationship he started having issues with finishing to the point where he said he couldn't even do it on his own anymore. This has since gotten better, but he still only finishes about half the time.

I've come to an issue where I feel extremely rejected. Sometimes he'll tell me he's not in the mood, too tired, or just kind of shrugs me off when I try to start things. It makes me feel incredibly horrible. We only have sex now 1-2 times a week at best. This rejection has now been amplified now that I found out he watches porn a lot. As a disclaimer: I am not against porn, I watch it myself and I find nothing wrong with getting off to it. I have an issue with the fact that he watches porn almost every night, even sometimes after hanging out with me when he rejected me, instead of being intimate with me. It's making me feel like I am not good enough to be with and I don't know how to proceed. Possible tmi here: I'm not vanilla in bed, and I spice it up as best I can, so I'm at a loss for what else to do to interest him.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend of two years and I have had issues in the bedroom. He rejects my advances a lot and I've now found out that he's been watching porn just hours after I've left instead of being physically intimate with me. I'm not sure why this is or how to change it. Advice?

# ? Nov 5, 2016 00:46

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# ? May 9, 2024 08:49

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Anony Mouse posted:

This must have gotten deleted because I can't find it. Her boyfriend shouldn't have lied to her, but I think he did it to avoid facing the truth that his girlfriend is an awful money-grubbing selfish bitch. I mean usually when someone is narrating an event from their point of view they consciously or unconsciously try to make themselves look as good as possible, and she still comes across as shallow and insufferable. Instead of being grateful for the huge amount of costs he's already covering, she acts like he's a meal ticket who has been holding out on him.

Sounds like a pretty clear cut situation of two people who don't belong together. He wants to save all his money/spend it on charities, she wants someone who will be open about their income (and who will spend money on her). He doesn't feel he can be honest with her, she feels betrayed because he lied. They'd both be happier if they broke up. Open and shut case.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 00:50

Van Kraken: Feb 13, 2012

My (30M) dog (1M) ate all of my girlfriends (25F) shoes

# ? Nov 5, 2016 01:04

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

did he seriously put [1M] on the dog or is that your joke please let that be your joke

# ? Nov 5, 2016 01:12

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

My [28M] dog [2M] barks at bees [~0F]. What can I do?

# ? Nov 5, 2016 01:26

Erethizon_dorsatum: Nov 14, 2009

A 1 yr old dog is still pretty much a puppy and anyone who allows a puppy around shoes is a gosh darn fool.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 01:26

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Husband (M,penguin) brutally attacked the man (M,penguin) he caught me (F,penguin) sleeping with

not reddit, but it seemed appropriate

# ? Nov 5, 2016 01:40

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

A 1 yr old dog is still pretty much a puppy and anyone who allows a puppy around shoes is a gosh darn fool.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 02:08

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

Puppies are universally terrible if you're the one raising them/forced to be around them for more than 15 minutes

# ? Nov 5, 2016 02:17

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Tender Bender posted:

On the one hand hiding the fact that you are donating hundreds of thousands of dollars to charity, from someone you are marrying, is kind of a big deal.

On the other hand responding to that with "you should just spend it on me instead, also 1/3 of our expenses is too much, I should be spending 1/10" is hilarious. Dump her and find a nice girl who's a good person.

He sounds like a living saint and I want to be his best friend.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 02:29

Alpha Man: Jun 23, 2010

china bot posted:

Husband (M,penguin) brutally attacked the man (M,penguin) he caught me (F,penguin) sleeping with

not reddit, but it seemed appropriate

At least it tries to defend its dignity after getting cucked. The reddit version would be just staring at the female come out of its burrow with cum on her and squawking pathetically.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 02:49

Ignis: Mar 31, 2011; I take it you don't want my autograph, then.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

did he seriously put [1M] on the dog or is that your joke please let that be your joke

He seriously did put [1M] on the dog

# ? Nov 5, 2016 02:54

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

P-Mack posted:

Yeah if some guy knocked on my door asking me to listen to a secret tape of my daughter's friend's mom I'd tell him to gently caress off , because why would I want to do that and what kind of weirdo would even ask.

That lady is probably right that people have started treating her differently, but a bit mistaken about the reason.

Yeah, I probably wouldn't be convinced by some rando coming around telling everyone that one of the mothers of a kid in my kid's class was crazy. I've seen the woman in question at school events for years, and she's always seemed pretty normal, while I've never seen this guy before in my life. I've never heard her in a screaming fight, so I can't even be sure that voice on the tape is hers. I have no reason to believe his story.

But I might start avoiding that woman anyway, because she has a psycho ex. I'd rather my kid stopped hanging out with her kid, because I don't want my kid to become collateral damage in that family's drama. If he's going around trying to ruin her life through gossip, the next phase could easily be violence, and I don't want that in my life. I'm not risking my family's safety for a women I barely know.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 02:57

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Chichevache posted:

He sounds like a living saint and I want to be his best friend.

Just don't expect him to pick up the check. He's always broke.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 03:04

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Facebook Aunt posted:

Just don't expect him to pick up the check. He's always broke.

So am I!

Should I [25F] reach out to my abusive ex-husband's [27M] new girlfriend [2?F]?

quote:

We aren't even divorced yet. It's only been a year! He had to list her as his roommate and girlfriend on the crappy settlement his lawyer was pushing on me because they live together.

It's a girl he works with. He was definitely cheating on me with her. And I genuinely don't care about that. He's very charming and an excellent liar so it's not her fault. I'm sure she knew he was married though. Everyone at his work knew me.

I didn't see this until a few days ago. I had to delete all of my social media because he was using it to abuse me and then harass me.

I left in the middle of the day while he was at work. I grabbed my dog and some clothes and literally ran. The night before he had choked me until I passed out while he screamed in my face and occasionally hit me. Then he threatened me with his shotgun. Then he literally held me against him all night saying he wanted to cuddle but not letting me move so I couldn't run. I convinced him I had calmed down and he went to work. He had considered staying home. Luckily he gave me my phone back. He usually took it away and hid it or turned it off online so I couldn't call the cops.

I can't begin to describe the reproductive/financial/physical/emotional abuse that led up to that. Three years of being beaten down. I didn't get my degree because of him. I lost most of my family and friends because of him. I'm still struggling because he took all of the money but left me with out debt. I have nothing but my dog and a crappy apartment with roommates.

He won't give me my things. Not my moms dishes, not the quilt my grandmother made me, not my winter coats... I don't have the money for a lawyer so this is just going to be endless court dates of me refusing to sign that bullshit settlement. I don't know where he lives so I can't show up with the cops to take back my things.

My stomach felt like a ball of fire when I saw her name. I'm so scared for her. We are still technically married. He refuses to give me my things. He almost killed me.

But before all of that? I was madly in love with him. He could do no wrong. There were red flags sure, but it was so intense and he's such a good liar I didn't realize how important those were until he dropped the facade. After we were married. I believed him when he said his ex was insane. He told enough of the truth that I thought the lies validated. No duh he hated his family and said they didn't like him. They would have told em the truth. I would bet my life he told he accidentally hit me once so when his grandma brings up how I came running to her for help his new girlfriend doesn't worry about it. He said something like that to me about his ex.

I want to warn her. This is so fast! And I'm getting deja vu. We lived together after three months. Married after a year and a half. He forced me into a lot of things.

So yeah. Would she listen? Or should I protect myself first and let it go? I'm scared of him but... The thought of him doing that to someone else breaks my heart.

TL;DR: my ex husband is a monster. I guarantee he is lying to her about probably everything. I'm really worried and scared for her. Should I send her a letter? Would it matter?

# ? Nov 5, 2016 03:32

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Chichevache posted:

He sounds like a living saint and I want to be his best friend.

No, he isn't. He's a cheap bastard who forgets that charity begins at home, and has own his charity set up to avoid taxes. He wants to look good in the eyes of others. My FIL was the same way. He didn't make good money, but what he did always went on some charity or church; he went to every drat church he could. I guess he thought he was hedging his bets. Anyways, he'd sponsor these kids in Africa or Chile while the bills went unpaid and there was no food in the house. Grandma, who lived on a little farm, would send money to help out and the bastard would sign it right over to some charity.

Mr Saint Lawyer here is deliberately hiding money. Maybe she's a grasping bitch, and maybe she's in a crummy neighborhood where her stuff gets stolen and she feels unsafe. Either way, it wouldn't kill him to move to a place where you don't need a machine gun to clear a path to the kitchen.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 03:39

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Chichevache posted:

So am I!

Should I [25F] reach out to my abusive ex-husband's [27M] new girlfriend [2?F]?

God drat dude, not funny at all.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 03:44

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

WampaLord posted:

God drat dude, not funny at all.

And now when a funny one gets posted it will relieve the tension of what I posted. The juxtaposition of these two will increase the levity you feel, improving the next story that much more.

tl; dr- you are welcome :smuggo:

Khazar-khum posted:

No, he isn't. He's a cheap bastard who forgets that charity begins at home, and has own his charity set up to avoid taxes. He wants to look good in the eyes of others. My FIL was the same way. He didn't make good money, but what he did always went on some charity or church; he went to every drat church he could. I guess he thought he was hedging his bets. Anyways, he'd sponsor these kids in Africa or Chile while the bills went unpaid and there was no food in the house. Grandma, who lived on a little farm, would send money to help out and the bastard would sign it right over to some charity.

Mr Saint Lawyer here is deliberately hiding money. Maybe she's a grasping bitch, and maybe she's in a crummy neighborhood where her stuff gets stolen and she feels unsafe. Either way, it wouldn't kill him to move to a place where you don't need a machine gun to clear a path to the kitchen.

E/N is that way

# ? Nov 5, 2016 03:52

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Khazar-khum posted:

Mr Saint Lawyer here is deliberately hiding money. Maybe she's a grasping bitch, and maybe she's in a crummy neighborhood where her stuff gets stolen and she feels unsafe. Either way, it wouldn't kill him to move to a place where you don't need a machine gun to clear a path to the kitchen.

Except they're doing totally ok financially, so this seems like you're projecting a little bit. It doesn't sound like they live in the ghetto either, in her post she's all but explicitly jealous she doesn't get to live in the ritzy part of town like her boyfriend's coworkers, and resents his giving to charity because of that.

It's true their car got broken into but that can happen pretty much anywhere, especially of you leave expensive stuff where anyone can see it.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 03:52

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1091559400926857&id=388360461246758

# ? Nov 5, 2016 04:36

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

Khazar-khum posted:

No, he isn't. He's a cheap bastard who forgets that charity begins at home, and has own his charity set up to avoid taxes. He wants to look good in the eyes of others. My FIL was the same way. He didn't make good money, but what he did always went on some charity or church; he went to every drat church he could. I guess he thought he was hedging his bets. Anyways, he'd sponsor these kids in Africa or Chile while the bills went unpaid and there was no food in the house. Grandma, who lived on a little farm, would send money to help out and the bastard would sign it right over to some charity.

Mr Saint Lawyer here is deliberately hiding money. Maybe she's a grasping bitch, and maybe she's in a crummy neighborhood where her stuff gets stolen and she feels unsafe. Either way, it wouldn't kill him to move to a place where you don't need a machine gun to clear a path to the kitchen.

yeah uh maybe just a liiiiiiitle bit o projection here

# ? Nov 5, 2016 05:04

client: Aug 19, 2010

these threads are good because they always encourage weridos like that guy to come out of the woodwork and own themselves

# ? Nov 5, 2016 05:17

timefly: Apr 29, 2008

What are all these "I think my boyfriend hates me, we only have sex twice a week"? My boyfriend only wanted it that much when we first got together :/

# ? Nov 5, 2016 05:57

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

When you have work or a tough study that can do a real number on your libido sometimes, also yeah some guys just don't want sex all the time

# ? Nov 5, 2016 05:59

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Have sex all the time gets boring. Like come on give me a breather so I can think, maybe come up with some new sex moves.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 06:06

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

I don't think it's that earthshattering of a revelation that people have wildly varying sex drives, regardless of gender.

I'm guessing that's not the problem with porn watching dude's relationship, though.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 06:12

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

loquacius posted:

I can't really fathom having to be told multiple times not to piss on the floor

even accounting for whatever combination of weird biology and lax upbringing led him to do it habitually in the first place, how do you survive one conversation with your girlfriend about how you're getting piss all over the floor without being so mortified you do everything in your power to prevent it from happening again

Well, la dee dah. Look at the queen of England here, that's never had to wade through piss in order to use the toilet at 2 AM.

FYI: some people get a bit of piss on the floor because we're drunk a lot. And we're drunk a lot because we're alcoholics. And last I checked alcoholism is a disease.

why don't you go make fun of type 1 diabetics for not being able to process sugars properly while you're at it, you monster.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 06:36

kaschei: Oct 25, 2005

loquacius posted:

Also, why are they "open romantically, not open sexually" if they don't have sex with each other

She's okay with him dating other women and doing the same thing with them as he does with her as long as he never gets laid, what the hell is happening here

It's gotta be Jesus here, she's trying to "save" him from sexhaving

Doesn't "open romantically" mean "we're open about our feelings" rather than "open to romances outside the relationship?"

CharlestonJew posted:

also why the gently caress didn't she call the cops after he pulled a gun on her

She said their last contact was the weapon assault charge so I think she did

# ? Nov 5, 2016 07:03

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Alpha Man posted:

At least it tries to defend its dignity after getting cucked. The reddit version would be just staring at the female come out of its burrow with cum on her and squawking pathetically.

That penguin gets mad props. He took out eyes and poo poo. If that ho wants to shack up with a cripple, fine. Pengy's gonna go get him some mad blubbery trim with those wicked scars and a sob story down at the watering hole.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 09:12

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

If nature mad you a penguin, you're born cucked.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 09:58

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Khazar-khum posted:

No, he isn't. He's a cheap bastard who forgets that charity begins at home, and has own his charity set up to avoid taxes. He wants to look good in the eyes of others. My FIL was the same way. He didn't make good money, but what he did always went on some charity or church; he went to every drat church he could. I guess he thought he was hedging his bets. Anyways, he'd sponsor these kids in Africa or Chile while the bills went unpaid and there was no food in the house. Grandma, who lived on a little farm, would send money to help out and the bastard would sign it right over to some charity.

Mr Saint Lawyer here is deliberately hiding money. Maybe she's a grasping bitch, and maybe she's in a crummy neighborhood where her stuff gets stolen and she feels unsafe. Either way, it wouldn't kill him to move to a place where you don't need a machine gun to clear a path to the kitchen.

I feel you man. My gramma Kitty spent her twilight years this way. I think she was trying to make up for being a shitheel her whole life. Any inheritance that my grandpa worked his whole life to have for his children and grandchildren (I would've given mine to my cousins because they have families) was spent on her healthcare, bibles for American Indians, and bags of rice for Africans. Good cause, bad reasons. She could've gotten government assistance but was too proud to take it until right before she died.

I live on disability and still give homeless people twenties when I can, mostly because I'd waste it on dumb poo poo. If a bum wants to get drunk or high, I've been there, I'm an alcoholic. I'd rather they make their life better for an hour or two than have me get a new game on Steam I'll play once and forget about. I have three hots, a cot and entertainment, and I don't need much else. Maybe I'm a sucker like the guy in that post. I dunno.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 10:10

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

MF_James posted:

This exactly, we've talked about it (I've been with my girl for 8 years, we also dated another 2 years in college), but both agree that we could not share each other and would get jealous. I'm not a super jealous dude, but I don't think I can handle the reality of some rear end in a top hat trying to make love to her.

If you love your wife and are not a sexist pig you will let other dudes pound her vag into hamburger. hth

# ? Nov 5, 2016 15:26

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

scrubs season six posted:

If you love your wife and are not a sexist pig you will let other dudes pound her vag into hamburger. hth

Please don't hamburgerize any vags. Thanks.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 15:42

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

Pvt.Scott posted:

I feel you man. My gramma Kitty spent her twilight years this way. I think she was trying to make up for being a shitheel her whole life. Any inheritance that my grandpa worked his whole life to have for his children and grandchildren (I would've given mine to my cousins because they have families) was spent on her healthcare, bibles for American Indians, and bags of rice for Africans. Good cause, bad reasons. She could've gotten government assistance but was too proud to take it until right before she died.

I live on disability and still give homeless people twenties when I can, mostly because I'd waste it on dumb poo poo. If a bum wants to get drunk or high, I've been there, I'm an alcoholic. I'd rather they make their life better for an hour or two than have me get a new game on Steam I'll play once and forget about. I have three hots, a cot and entertainment, and I don't need much else. Maybe I'm a sucker like the guy in that post. I dunno.

There's a real difference between being generous and being taken advantage of. You giving that homeless dude ten bucks for a forty and a hot dog, that's just being human, letting that homeless guy snake an extra twenty off you after you already gave him money, that's being taken advantage of.

# ? Nov 5, 2016 15:53

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

Van Kraken posted:

My (30M) dog (1M) ate all of my girlfriends (25F) shoes

My (38M) roommate's (29F) cat (15M) has moved in and now there's cat hair everywhere

Maybe I should post on reddit :v:

(No, not really. She vacuums up the hair, takes care of the litter box, and I love the little guy and try to help out despite my allergies - she even bought me a couple boxes of claritin.)

# ? Nov 5, 2016 17:00

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [23F] boyfriend [26M] of 10 months ditched me on our date

So last night my boyfriend and I were meant to go on a date but it ended up turning into a sort of group thing with mutual friends, I was disappointed seeing as we've barely had alone time and haven't had a date in over 2 weeks. My boyfriend reassured me that he will still make sure apart of it was a date for us and that it will be fun so I thought why not? and we headed off to the pub.

Things were going great for the most part but about 1hr in I had to go to the bathroom. The pub was busy and there was a line in the girls bathroom so I waited and I was in and out in about 10 minutes. Well, when I left the bathroom I couldn't see my boyfriend or our friends anywhere so I looked for them and I still couldn't find them. I checked my phone and there were no texts from any of them so I went to the bartender and just asked him if he saw them leave. He said they told him to let me know they left to go to a club but he couldn't remember which one (I assume to the club we planned to go to).

Anyway, I was real hurt by this. I was only gone 10 minutes so they could of easily waited and to make things worse my boyfriend was the one who drove me there so I either had the option to walk in the middle of the night by myself to get to the club or call for an uber, which I did. While I waited for the uber, I shot my boyfriend a text asking him why he didn't wait for me and if they were at the club but he didn't reply. I even sent a text to my best friend but she didn't reply either. I called them as well and again, neither of them answered :/

anyway, it took a while for my uber to arrive and by this point I was tired and my boyfriend and my best friend still hadn't answer so I just ended up going home. I showered, cooked myself some food and then got ready for bed. By this time, I had been around an hour since I had left the club and my boyfriend still hadn't replied to any of my texts or answered my calls. I was getting worried that maybe something happened to I called him again, no answer. I called my bestfriend, no answer and I ended up calling 2 other people there and again, no answer.

I ended up going on facebook and saw one of the friends I had called had uploaded photos of all of them at a totally different club, not the one we planned to go to. I was so hurt and angry at this point I just sent my boyfriend a text basically telling him that how horrible it was for him not the even send me a text to let me know where they went and I told him that for future reference, not to drag me along somewhere just to ditch me by myself and not even bother to wait for me or even call me to make sure I am okay.

at this point it really hit me how messed up all this was. Not only did they all ditch me, they went to a different club so If I had went to the club we originally planned to go to, I'd be looking for them all night. It also really pissed me off that I was gone for over an 1hr and my boyfriend wasn't worried about me at all. Wouldn't most people be worried that they left there SO at a pub and hadn't seen them in 1hr? If situations were revered, I would of checked my phone and called because I would of been worried.

so I ended up going to bed and when I woke up my phone was flooded with texts from my boyfriend. He apologized, saying the bartender was meant to tell me where they went and they couldn't hear the phones in the club.

I replied back to him saying how messed up it was that he left me and how thoughtless he was by not even sending me a text. I told him it was ridiculous for him to rely on a bartender who was extremely busy to tell me something he should have told me himself. He texted again telling me he is sorry, that he didn't mean to ditch me as well as a bunch of other excuses and apologizes but honestly they just annoyed me more.

Now I'm not sure if I'm overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. I'm also not sure if I should sort this out with my boyfriend and forgive him for this or if I should just dump him. I'd really appreciate any advice.

TL;DR: my boyfriend and I were meant to go on a date but instead went to a pub with friends where they ended up ditching me and ignored all my calls/texts when I got worried. He sent me a bunch of texts apologizing but now I'm not sure if I should forgive him or dump him

EDIT/UPDATE:

I've been texting one of my friends that was there last night and she admitted that they all ditched me on purpose. They all decided at the pub that they wanted to do some hard drugs and they thought I'd kill the mood and that I'd be uncomfortable so rather than doing the decent thing and giving me a heads up, they decided to completely ditch me and ignore me. Rather than wait to see him tonight, I called my boyfriend to see if he would admit to it and he did. He said they were doing me a "favour" and he knows I have a bad family history with drugs (3 family members died from overdoses) which I still think is a poor excuse for what they did. They could of just been honest with me rather than basically abandoning me at the pub. I also asked him why did he ignore me and he just said he wanted to enjoy himself without feeling guilty. He kept apologizing but I was just done at that point. I broke up with him and its safe to say I will also be ending my friendships with my so called "friends"

In all honesty, I wouldn't care if they were doing drugs as long as they were safe. In fact, I would of liked to be there just so I could keep an eye on them and make sure they stayed out of trouble but oh well