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Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
I once read an article about how a man with a micropenis learned to be happy with his micropenis by developing a fetish for people making fun of how small and worthless his penis was. It is the same rationale--oh, I am being mistreated because of something I cannot change, because of the way I naturally am. Well, what if I just accept that, in fact, not just accept it, but pretend that I like it! Convince myself that I like it! Doesn't that solve the problem? And my answer in both cases is, no. You deserve someone who loves you for the way that you actually are. Tricking yourself into thinking that you enjoy the abuse, does not change that it is abuse. Real love comes from, well, love that is grounded in reality. You should not convince yourself that you are happily in love, when you are not and are you not being treated like someone who is loved.

Pick fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Nov 8, 2016

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Lockback
Sep 3, 2006

All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
I think we might have a nice bumper crop coming up


my [17f] boyfriend [16m] is scared of Hillary Clinton winning the election

quote:

hi reddit! excuse any formatting issues, i'm on mobile and this is my first time posting ever. i'm 17f, bf is 16m, we've been dating for 5 months (friends for 8 months beforehand, so we've known each other for over a year).
let me get right to the point: my boyfriend is absolutely terrified of Hillary Clinton winning the election. it's because of the tension between her and Russia, how she wants to go to war with Russia because it'll raise money for the Clinton Foundation, and the fact that this war would probably be nuclear. i have no idea if all this is correct; i follow politics, but not as closely as him. he's read most of the leaked emails and he's just super paranoid.
he's gotten in these horrible depressive episodes throughout the final months of campaigning, where he tells me he doesn't want to live anymore because the world is going to poo poo and he's going to get drafted when we go to war with Russia. i can calm him down from these, they usually take an hour to meditate through. but they're really disheartening to witness. i want him to feel safe and happy. so much so that i have prayed a lot for Trump to win, just so he can be at peace about all this. but i know prayer is going to do very little, if anything, unfortunately.
so my question is this: if Hillary wins, how am i going to comfort my boyfriend? i know i can just be there for him, but i'm afraid that he might be inconsolable. to add onto that, he gets really distant during his depressive episodes, so what if he gets even farther and i can't comfort him this time? this may seem like a non-issue to others, but this is a very big deal for my boyfriend.
any advice is appreciated, thank you so much for reading!!
tl;dr: boyfriend is scared of Hillary winning election, he gets in depressive episodes because of it, i don't know how to comfort him if she wins.

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

still thinking about this....It's certainly common for guys to purposely go after "desperate women", but is it that often that they are self-aware enough to admit that it's their actual plan, let alone articulate it for others to read? Like, subconsciously choosing places to go where they might encounter the less-discerning happens every day I'm sure, but he's so straightforward, affixing "desperate" onto his preferences the way another might add extra cheese to their burger order.

*this space reserved for a joke where I imply that I come to GBS to meet women while not also being depressingly believable based on this place's track record*

I think this is how damsel-in-distress rescue fetishes come to happen, and one day you wake up and realize you are dating heroin addicts, prostitutes, and the homeless.


Chomp8645 posted:

Is this what burlesque is????

If burlesque existed in a vacuum where fat girls just go to feel desirable and have fun, that would be fine. Everyone needs to feel needed sometimes, and everyone needs to have fun. Sadly, fat girls have spent their whole lives developing overpowering and horrifying fat girl complexes so now you get to see truly repugnant human beings dress up as Finn from Adventure Time and wobble their balloon-like badly-tattooed chest at you while telling "jokes" (i.e., reciting lines directly) from Homestuck or Bob's Burgers or whatever. I don't mean to sound like I'm down on women or women's empowerment, but burlesque attracts the worst loving people.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Lockback posted:

I think we might have a nice bumper crop coming up


my [17f] boyfriend [16m] is scared of Hillary Clinton winning the election

Becoming a client state of Russia is certainly a great way to avoid war with Russia

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Lockback posted:

I think we might have a nice bumper crop coming up


my [17f] boyfriend [16m] is scared of Hillary Clinton winning the election

Jeb Lund isn't 16, what the heck?

Lockback
Sep 3, 2006

All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
Not election related, but this woman seems like a rationale human being.


Me [27 F] with my mindfulness group facilitator [31 M] met yesterday afternoon, I think I made a huge mistake playing hard to get!

quote:

Hi. I honestly think I met my soulmate yesterday afternoon at a mindfulness workshop I attended. He was the facilitator .. our eyes were locked almost the entire time and I kept making him blush, I'm sure I was blushing a lot too. He was basically caressing me with his eyes, I could see / feel it .. I just felt so connected to him but mostly his headspace, we have so much in common mentally it just was overflowing because we both obviously find eachother attractive too. So .. before leaving he said .. 'everyone leave your email address so I can send you the videos if you want ..' i didn't leave mine! I'm sure he thinks he'll never see me again but I plan to go next week. I hope he asked for my number then, I am almost certain he proposed leaving email addresses so he could contact me. At this point I'm embarrassed about him seeing through my foolish game. I am hoping that he likes me enough to look past it. My heart is really burning for him, I can't believe I walked away from things like that!
tl;dr: burning desire for mindfulness teacher, he asked class for email addresses and I didn't leave mine, playing hard to get. I feel regret! I am going back next week and Ill see him, I hope he asks me out, I'll be heartbroken if he doesnt. What do you think?

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [34M] wife [29F] cheated on me with her best friend's brother. I forgave her for cheating, but now she refuses to cut off contact with her best friend (who knew about the cheating).

My wife - Kate

Her best friend - Noelle

Her best friend's brother/guy she cheated with - David

My wife Kate & I met at work 5 years ago and got married 3 years ago. We've had a happy marriage up until 8 months ago when I found out that my wife was cheating on me with her best friend's brother. She's known her best friend, Noelle, since high school and they've been close ever since. Noelle's brother David is a few years older than Kate and they always seemed like casual friends nothing more. I found out my wife was cheating, was absolutely devastated, and it took me a month to forgive her and we were on eggshells for a few months after that but finally back to normal.

One of the things that came out after the cheating was discovered was that Noelle knew Kate and David were hooking up, and didn't say anything to me about it. I see Noelle all the time and always treated her like my wife's sister, and felt betrayed by her too.

When Kate cheated, she promised she would cut off David and not contact him anymore. It took a while, but I accepted her apology under that condition.

A few weeks ago, Kate said she was going out with her friends. I asked which friends and she mentioned Noelle's name. I told her calmly that I really don't want her talking to Noelle anymore. Noelle is the sister of the guy my wife cheated on me with, and also Noelle knew about the cheating but never said anything to me about it. She chose to cover up instead for her brother and best friend.

My wife absolutely refused, saying that I couldn't control who she hangs out with and that Noelle is like her sister. My wife said that she stopped visiting Noelle's parent's house entirely (they're from the same hometown, their parents are friends too) and doesn't talk to David anymore, so that should be enough.

I've been upset about it for a while. I know if I push really hard, my wife will probably give in but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable because Kate and Noelle have been best friends for almost 15 years. At the same time, Noelle is literally David's sister and it doesn't get any closer than that. There's no way they don't at least casually bring up David in conversations. I know for a fact that Noelle wants David & Kate together because she thinks they're the perfect couple and that way she and Kate can be family. Noelle used to (jokingly) said it a few years ago, now I realize there was an element of truth to those jokes.

tl;dr: Wife cheated on me with her best friend's brother. Her best friend knew about the cheating. Wife cut off contact with her bff's brother, but is still close to her bff. I want her to cut off contact with the bff too, is that unreasonable?

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Wellllll...poo poo, that's a tough call.

BoonyPC
Feb 19, 2007
^^

sounds like shes already planning the wedding. Run mindfulness teacher, run.

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Lockback posted:

Not election related, but this woman seems like a rationale human being.


Me [27 F] with my mindfulness group facilitator [31 M] met yesterday afternoon, I think I made a huge mistake playing hard to get!

:ironicat:

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

Tiny Deer posted:

I always thought of it as rugby on skates. Is that accurate at all? I had no idea there even were men's leagues. Part of my heart wanted to believe roller derby was solely the province of hard-eyed punk lesbians.

Eh there's hitting and stuff, it's a full contact sport and I've heard a lot more bones crack than I'd really like, but I don't know much about rugby to compare it to. There are five skaters on a track per team, one skater on each team tries to lap the opposing team's skaters to score points, and everyone else is trying to hit them and block them - but there's rules to how and when you can hit a skater and nearly as many refs at a given bout as active skaters on the track.

There are definitely hard-eyed punk lesbians who wish it was a woman's-only thing, but that's even farther from the topic at hand than we started at.


54 40 or gently caress posted:

Oh man yeah, it's intense! I can't remember the name but I caught the majority of a documentary on derby culture and it's is definitely interesting. I think the people your referring to are the ones who stay, my town isn't huge so it's definitely not the rule in anyway but there's a decently high dropout rate.

Also I think there's a hard sell on derby being a great way to feel badass and if you're someone who has low self confidence that's perfect

Oh yeah, totally - like I said, it definitely attracts those people. The thing though is that roller derby leagues are (almost always) supportive, practically to a fault. Nobody there is actively trying to prey on people with low self confidence, they want to help you grow it! And if someone fades out and decides it's not their thing or not what they expected, that's fine too - but anyone you see on a track at a bout has at the very, very least passed a standardized minimum skills test involving a bunch of agility checks, safe falling and hitting procedures, several different types of stops, and skating 27 laps in five minutes. At that point, you can rest assured they're not really doing it to feel sexy or flash their boobs around - it takes dedication.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
I like women's hockey, seems like a real cool thing that brings a lot of athletic and self-confident people together. I think it has some similarities.

Nancy
Nov 23, 2005



Young Orc

Lockback posted:

I think we might have a nice bumper crop coming up


my [17f] boyfriend [16m] is scared of Hillary Clinton winning the election

There is literally no way this impressionable 16m has read "most of" the leaked emails. I really don't think that's possible and if he did he is severely mentally ill.

Lockback posted:

Not election related, but this woman seems like a rationale human being.


Me [27 F] with my mindfulness group facilitator [31 M] met yesterday afternoon, I think I made a huge mistake playing hard to get!

This girl is gonna be super disappointed when the facilitator does nothing because she has done nothing except for make eye contact and made the situation awkward. Like, I got my first relationship by starring a lot, but I was also 16 and dumb and at least said something.

Pick posted:

I once read an article about how a man with a micropenis learned to be happy with his micropenis by developing a fetish for people making fun of how small and worthless his penis was. It is the same rationale--oh, I am being mistreated because of something I cannot change, because of the way I naturally am. Well, what if I just accept that, in fact, not just accept it, but pretend that I like it! Convince myself that I like it! Doesn't that solve the problem? And my answer in both cases is, no. You deserve someone who loves you for the way that you actually are. Tricking yourself into thinking that you enjoy the abuse, does not change that it is abuse. Real love comes from, well, love that is grounded in reality. You should not convince yourself that you are happily in love, when you are not and are you not being treated like someone who is loved.

This is a weird one for me because quite a bit of BDSM play revolves around humiliation. What separates this micropenis dude from a dyed-in-the-wool fetishist?

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe
If I was Noelle I probably wouldn't have told the guy either and it's weird how much he expects her to have.


Also, what the hell, a mindfulness seminar?

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion

tactlessbastard posted:

If I was Noelle I probably wouldn't have told the guy either and it's weird how much he expects her to have.


Also, what the hell, a mindfulness seminar?

I wondered the same thing. What do you get, an app that shrieks "Mind your manners! Brush your teeth! Clean your room!" every five minutes?

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

I was under the impression mindfulness is what exceptionally suburban white women call meditation or awareness.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

food court bailiff posted:

I was under the impression mindfulness is what exceptionally suburban white women call meditation or awareness.

The nanny app would be more useful than that!

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
Mindfulness generally refers to mindfulness meditation. It's pretty cool, helps you realize when you're doing stuff out of habit or routine among other things. Mindfulness itself is like, a state of generally being aware of what it is your doing at any given time. I like it, come at me.

There's an e/n thread here:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3773224

Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Nov 9, 2016

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

quote:

My [21F] boyfriend [24M] wants to break up because he doesn't like me enough to marry and have kids with me

Me and my boyfriend are doing long distance right now, and would be doing it for the foreseeable future (depends where our education/jobs take us). He ignored me for 3 days and today I asked him what's up.

He said that he isn't sure if he likes me 'enough' as I like him very much and do so much for him, and is thinking if he doesn't like me enough to continue on being with me as he doesn't do much for me.

He then continued with saying he still likes me a lot, and thinks he would regret it if we just became friends but not sure yet. Also said that he can't really see a future (marriage, kids) future with me and that's what's making him think he doesn't like me 'enough'.

My problem with this is - not only have we dated for only 6 months, but, we are still both so young. Honestly speaking he isn't someone I can see myself MARRYING, but isn't that normal for our age + duration of relationship??? Like doesn't the thought of marriage, kids, the whole nine yards come later on, not something you base your relationship off early on???

I'm feeling kind of weird because I don't know if it's just bullshit. Having said everything, I also feel kind of hurt he says he can't see a future with me to that extent (even though I can't either).

I don't know how to make of this because he seems pretty sure about his thoughts. How should I handle this situation? I don't want to persuade him into staying but I think if the reason for leaving is because he can't see himself marrying me, that it's kind of... not worth it? Especially as we are very happy together. What should I be thinking? Is he being weird?? Should I fight for it or just let it go... because if someone is doubting the relationship you can't really do anything about it anymore anyway right?

TLDR: BF wants to dump me because he can't see himself marrying me and having children with me. I am hurt but don't see that as a reason to leave especially as we've been only dating half a year and still very young.

harmless enough. then she posts this in the comments:

quote:

Does it make a difference that we are in an open relationship? Just up until last week we were chatting and even sexting as normal. I just dont know what changed.

ah yeah, that might've been helpful to note. i wonder what could have happened in your long-distance open relationship of six months

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
I like the updated stories because they usually have somewhat of a conclusion.

quote:

Me [34M] with my wife [32F] of five years. I know she's cheating on me, I can't bring myself to confront her.

I (34m) met my wife (32f) seven years ago at a party. She was the "out of your league" girl no one hit on, and I was the awkward boy in the corner trying to not stare. Eventually she was introduced to me by the host, we bonded over a shared love of darts, went on a few dozen "platonic" outings together, and after one beer and darts filled night a year later we wound up in her bed and in a relationship. A year later she proposed to me(!).

She's the power person in our relationship. I am working as a chocolatier, she's a Vice President in a larger corporation. She works long days and longer nights, I cook and keep the house clean, and work five days a week in a small artisanal shop downtown. We're pretty high end, so I am making good money, but she's making way more than twice of my salary. So she buys the "toys" for the house, including a new set top box for the TV.

The set top box has a "screen saver" mode where it rotates pictures in your Apple photo library. Last week, she was still at work, I came home from my day and the TV, which I'd used to watch a YouTube video that morning and definitely had turned off, was on screen saver. On it were pictures that must come from her phone, showing her, in our living room, one of our female friends, and a guy I've never met in very explicit poses. The pictures moved around the room, so I think there must have been a fourth person, taking pictures with her phone, but I didn't see that person. What was weird, was that she was wearing a bandage on her hand, something she'd done that morning after complaining about RSI.

I left the TV on and was very shocked, but decided to leave the screen saver and see what she had to say when she came home later that evening. When she came home, the pictures seemed to have disappeared, they haven't shown up anymore since then on the TV.

I asked her if she'd been home during the day, because the TV was on, and she said she'd come home during lunch to pick up a USB stick she'd forgotten in her computer at home. I tried to ask her about the pictures, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Now, I have to add something. I am not a very experienced person in sex matters. I am an introvert and barely had relationships before her. Our sex life is though, even for my experiences, very "vanilla." I never have had oral sex in my life before and only twice since we met. Suggesting it to her usually meant that she'd lecture me about not doing those things and sex for the night was a no-go. In those pictures she did all the things she never wanted to do with me.

Since that day I have tried to confront her a number of times. She stays out longer, lately (not just since last week, for the past four months maybe) and she's often "too tired" for anything romantic, even just cuddling, and when she comes home she often disappears in her office and comes to bed long after I have fallen asleep.

But even during the time we had together, like this weekend, I can't bring myself to confront her. I am worried about what I might hear and what this would mean for our relationship. I still love her very much and can't imagine a life without her. How can I summon the courage to do this? Is there a way out of this?

tl;dr: My wife is cheating on me and I saw pictures of it on our TV. I can't bring myself to confront her.

quote:

[UPDATE] Me [34M] with my wife [32F] of five years. I know she's cheating on me, I can't bring myself to confront her.

So, lots to tell. First off, however, a few things. Before I wrote this, I didn't know what a "red pill" was. Now I do. I kind of wish I didn't, but a few dozen messages kind of made that happen. You know those "debt solution" letters you get when you're known to the county to owe money? That's how those things came in, fast and furious. Some others assumed that my throwaway having the word "red" in it meant that I was a sockpuppet for them. I am not. I don't think they've got a solution that isn't worse than the problem it pretends to fix.

Well, what happened? I left the house that evening for a walk (she wasn't home) and called around for lawyers. It was pretty late already and I got a lot of voice mail, but one picked up. She asked me to get mt financial statements and a lot of other things together and see her the next morning. I then decided to confront my wife that evening.

That didn't happen. She came home very late and disappeared to take a bath almost right away. I snuck into her office and took her phone out from her purse. It had a fingerprint scanner, but her PIN was the same as she uses for the garage and our safe which she set up, so that was easy. There was nothing on the phone that I could find, pictures in Apple Photos and Google Photos were all from things we'd done together and some for her job. No messages or so, either. Just as I wanted to put the phone back, her bag buzzed. She has another phone! That one is an Android and had a pattern, so I couldn't log in. But on the screen was a message, phone number only, no name, with a "<3" on it.

Put that back. Decided to postpone confrontation until after lawyer, but took a photo of the message.

Next morning I talked to the lawyer and she spent about half an hour to just go over possible outcomes and what I can expect next, then another 45 minutes talking about finances and so. We don't have kids and she's the big earner, so I stand to either be just out of the relationship or be out and owed some money. It'll be months, maybe even more than a year, until all this is dealt with. Takes five minutes to marry, a year to unmarry, it seems.

I'd walked by my work and told boss and I was sick. I look like poo poo, from not sleeping and some crying, so that was pretty convincing. We work in food, being sick is a bad idea at that job. Went home and unplugged the Apple TV and took it to a friend who runs a small computer store. He confirmed what you'd told me, the pictures on the screen saver are from her Apple Photos. He's also the first I told and he immediately offered me to stay at his place with his wife and kids if I had to leave for a while. Then he called the number the text on my wife's other phone came from and told me a guy named "Rob" had answered it.

Walked home and texted her if she'd be home for dinner. She texted back, that she'd have to do some "extra work" and it could be late, so I told her to please make an exception and come home, I had important news. We'd been looking for a house for a while, I figured she'd think I finally found one.

Well, dinner came and went, and she didn't show. She came home around 10, smelling of cigarettes. She was all happy and asked me what I wanted to talk about, so I asked her to sit down. I'm 99% to making something up about a house and avoid the confrontation, but then, I guess for the first time, I felt a little anger. So I told her.

I said "I know you've been cheating for a while, now. I've been working with an attorney and we'll have to talk about these things at some point, so now is as bad a time for that as ever."

She didn't blow up and deny it. She just... deflated and started to shake. A lot of your PMs, my attorney, and my friend, all told me not to press for details, and not put that on me as well. But I really wanted to know, so I said "tell me about Rob." She told me they'd met through Ann (the friend on the couch with her) and Ann wanted to have sex with him while he had a crush on my wife, so they hatched this threesome plan. That was ... 14 months ago. Apparently they've since included Rob's wife (that's the mysterious fourth person who took the pictures) who is "polyamorous" with that Rob guy.

The picture thing was solved, too. She'd handed the wife her phone to take a few pictures and didn't remember the whole screen blanker thing. When she was at work, she'd uploaded them and deleted them from the phone. By then, by chance, I'd seen them. She had the second phone for precisely the reasons I thought, as one that isn't on our shared contract where I couldn't see the incoming and outgoing calls in my statement.

She also had short affairs with other women and a few men, and a most of her "weekend work things" were actually her and Rob going on short trips together. Through all this, it felt like she was giving me as much detail as she could in an effort to hurt me, and it worked but I think I kept a pretty good poker face.

I told her that I would leave the house, that I had photographed and cataloged everything and was hoping for an amicable separation. She simply declined, told me she'd leave and take a hotel for the time being, and put her keys on the table. She packed a few things and left. That was it. As this one guy /u/jluster says, it was like the dentist, it hurt less than I thought it would but still hurt drat much.

Today I have about 15 missed calls from her and 150+ messages, all asking me for forgiveness and if we could make it work again. I agreed to meet her next week, but only to divide our possessions. As far as I am concerned, this is over. Except for my one friend no one knows, yet, and I want to wait with making it public knowledge while I sort my stuff here and decide how I go from here. Might actually be hitting the gym, no intentions for a rebound relationship, and the rest we'll see.

TL;DR: Confronted wife, she admits to cheating, rest is in the hands of my attorney. I'm broken but I'll get better.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Gaunab posted:

I like the updated stories because they usually have somewhat of a conclusion.

Glad the chocolatier gathered up his self-respect and ended that farce. Good for him.

Serephina
Nov 8, 2005

恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー
That's sad, as in sorrowful, but good for him (and her?) for being adult about it, change of pace from what normally gets posted

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
Poor guy couldn't even get a blowjob while she was out for over a year sucking robs big ole dick

gently caress why would she think for a SECOND that he would entertain getting back with her

he must be loving ugly or something i guess

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
And Rob must be really really good looking. I'm jealous.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
So, you guys are saying I should check out the local burlesque scene for some easy trim? Derby girls are probably more my type, but they could beat me up if I said something stupid.

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Illegal Hen
glad things worked out for the chocolatier cuckolatier

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
Well if Rob is that handsome then the chocolate man should have thrown down into that 3F + 2M pile (Correct ratio to ensure chance of balls touching is low enough to be deemed an acceptable risk)

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
My [20/f] date [25/m] turned out to be much shorter than it said on his profileDating

quote:

I'm 5'8 so I'm pretty tall, and it's always a bonus when a guy lists his height on a dating profile because then I know if he's taller than me. This might sound shallow, but I don't feel too terrible about it. Some guys don't wanna date me cause I'm not athletic enough or for other reasons and that's just fine, everyone has preferences!

25/m from title had his height listed as 5'11 in his bio. We talked for about a week and then met up at a cafe. He was much shorter than me, about 5'5 I think. I ignored it and continued our date. It was fun, but I didn't really feel a spark. The height thing was a let down, but besides that I'm not even sure if we'd be dating. I just didn't feel it.

He texted me if I wanted to go out again. After thinking it over I texted him back something I saw on Reddit before: 'thank you for going out with me, I really enjoyed it. Unfortunately I didn't really feel a spark though. I wish you the best in the future'. Within 1 minute he texted me back 'is it because of my height?'

I don't know what to text back, really. I don't blame him so much for lying about his height because insecurity is a bitch. However I do feel like it's not fair that I'm put in the spot like this and I don't want to deliver bad news. I don't want to cause someone to feel bad about themselves. What do I do?

TL;DR; my date mislead me about his height. I didn't feel a spark, and tried letting him down kindly. He's now asking if it's because of his height. I don't know what to say.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

Pvt.Scott posted:

So, you guys are saying I should check out the local burlesque scene for some easy trim? Derby girls are probably more my type, but they could beat me up if I said something stupid.

That's the best part!

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [26F] with my b/f [28 M/F] together 2 years, basically he's telling me he will not commit to us if I do not get rid of my best friend (27m)

Me [26F] with my b/f [28 M/F] together 2 years, basically he's telling me he will not commit to us if I do not get rid of my best friend (27m)

Our relationship is great other than for this one issue. John and I have been together for 2 years and we match on every single level. We have talked about kids, marriage, everything and we agree on almost every single thing.

However last night when the conversation came up about us moving forward with our lives he flat out tells me that he will not commit to us (meaning propose marriage) until I get my lifelong best friend out of life. He said he is not giving me an ultimatum (I disagree I believe he is) because he said that he can continue as we are with no problem. But if I want something more that I have to pretty much stop seeing Tom.

Tom and I grew up on the same block, our parents knew each other and we have been the best of friends since the 6th grade.

I have no romantic feelings for Tom and I have always prioritized John whenever a conflict comes up.

Where John has problems is that when we were teenagers Tom and I had a sexual relationship. In fact we took each other virginity. This lasted until each of us went to college and even then we had a few encounters. It all stopped when I started seeing someone else while I was in school, not John (this was another guy who I saw for about a year and a half).

Tom and I have not been sexual with each other for almost 6 years. But we still see each other once a week for lunch to catch up and many times we will see each other at party's or at our parents houses.

A year and a half ago when John and I had only been together for about 6 months we all went to a party and Tom and I were a little drunk and he came up from behind me and grabbed me around the waist and held onto me. He did this right in front of John and I did not move fast enough to get away from him and by the time I did it was very obvious he was aroused.

John broke up with me on the spot. It took me begging for almost 2 weeks before he finally relented to even talk to me again. But I apologized and we moved on from there. He has never said anything about Tom other than at that time until last night.

Now I don't know what to do. I do not like having ultimatums stuck in my face but when I spoke to my sister about this she said that she doesn't know a man alive who would be okay with my relationship with Tom. Talking with her really shattered my confidence because come to find out she feels our relationship is very inappropriate because of our past.

So basically I have to decide if I want to move forward with John I have to pretty much cut Tom out. If I want to just live the way we are living now I can do that but John was very clear that this is all it is ever going to be. Or do I tell John that I will not let his insecurities run my life and just hope for the best

tl;dr: b/f refuses to move forward with marriage as long as I stay friends with my life long best friend.

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Illegal Hen

does she ever explain what she means by [M/F] when shes talking about her boyfriend

im cute
Sep 21, 2009


I know this is trite, but it's a truism for a reason: you simply cannot go below the waist with your friends and have poo poo not get weird. They did and things were probably ok for a long time, which is extraordinarily lucky. But now those chickens are coming home to roost, because to her boyfriend and every other person on earth, Tom isn't her BFF. He's her ex-gently caress buddy.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
I wonder how long she let him rub his boner on her butt.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

CharlestonJew posted:

does she ever explain what she means by [M/F] when shes talking about her boyfriend
ugg there's some submission template and that usually means they forgot to edit it

Bamabalacha
Sep 18, 2006

Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

Pick posted:

Being involved in burlesque and etc is the biggest loving red flag. Empowered my rear end. It is about seeking validation that you are sexually attractive. If you were in a happy monogamous relationship, why exactly would you need that?

I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Pick. Chicks who get super into burlesque are sad and pathetic and looking for validation that they will never find.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Pvt.Scott posted:

So, you guys are saying I should check out the local burlesque scene for some easy trim? Derby girls are probably more my type, but they could beat me up if I said something stupid.

Sounds right up my alley. Where do I sign up?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
lol just lol if you're a man and haven't experienced the euphoric pleasure of being savagely beaten by a plus size woman in a leather and/or rockabilly outfit.

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016

Goddamn people should really :sever: from people they've slept with but stopped seeing. Clean break, everybody moves on, next partner doesn't have to see your stinky exes hanging around, it's doing everyone a favor.

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


update from lego boyfriend, to the surprise of absolutely no one he's a massive manchild

My bf [25M], of two years claimed he couldn't travel with me [22F] because he wanted to save money. he just spent a tone of cash on toys


quote:

Sorry guys I can't seem to update normally, it gets locked out that it needs to be one update (it is the one/only update so not sure ?) and placing a link to the old post is also locking the post so please check history if you'd like to see it.
But the tldr was basically :
tl;dr: Bf told me he didnt want to travel cause he wanted to save money, turns out he doesnt care about saving money but he just didn't want to travel. Wouldn't give much else to go from there.

Before I update, there was a lot of assumptions made in my OP and I want to correct that.
I have no problems with his hobbies/interests, Ive made every effort to play video games with him and build lego with him. I usually gift him lego sets he doesn't have but really wants because I know thats what hes into. I am supportive of how he spends his free time. We are both introverts so we don't go out much either way and I'm okay with that.
But this vacation thing would be once in a very blue moon. 5-10 years I might want to go somewhere. I don't think I was asking for much. We had talked about going away together in our first year and he was okay with it but I guess when the time came to actually make plans he started making excuses for not wanting to go.
I had a long discussion with him, some of you had guessed it- he was not thrilled about Asian countries. Now I had given him the option of choosing elsewhere but turns out he is just not someone who ever wants to visit any country outside of Europe.
He sees it as a waste to visit anywhere else and hes sure he wont enjoy anywhere else. Hes European himself.
I don't want to be restricted to going to ONLY Europe my entire life. I'd like to see what the rest of the world is like eventually. I love Asian culture and love watching travel videos on it. It is unique, vibrant and the people really seem to be down to earth.
The problem is my friends are the same they only ever want to go to Europe. They don't want to go to Asia either- they think European culture is superior which I just dont agree with (Did I mention I'm from a small town in Europe).

I am scared of traveling alone though and I sort of imagined Id be traveling with my partner.
I can't make him do anything though so I decided to just travel on my own and break up with my bf because his unwillingness to take part in something that means so much to me 8-9/days every 5-10 years just didn't sound right to me.
But before I had a chance to tell him this, i think he sensed it was coming because all of a sudden I woke up to links to several places that he thinks he wouldn't mind going to in february or march.
I didn't jump at the idea, instead I questioned why the change of heart and he said he loved me and wanted us to compromise. He said he was stressed out from work and the idea of going to asia stressed him out and didn't sound relaxing.

He says if we go to Europe he'll stay for as long as we can cause he loves it there but if we go to Asia, he wants to make it 1 week maximum trip.
I told him he didn't have to do that and I was okay going on my own but hes upset that I'm not letting him be part of this now. he keeps telling me that I can't break up with him over this because we love each other and he is trying to make it right now and I should focus on that. He says he will be honest with me regarding his reasons from now on too.
I love him I really do and I dont doubt he does too but its not enough. I can't force someone into doing something they don't want to do. I feel to guilty taking him up on this offer so I don't think I can travel with him. But I also don't want a partner who can't make the effort to be with me on an amazing once in a lifetime trip. I can't believe he couldn't put his prejudice and judgement of what he thinks a place is aside.

He is someone who is scared of change though, he sticks to the same few foods that he'll eat and refuses to try anything different or new unless I cook it. The thing that really frustrates me is that hes like a child at times. When he does end up trying a new thing - he ends up loving it !. but getting to that stage is just too much effort.
I don't know what I'm doing. He knows somethings up so he keeps sending me things and is acting like he really wants to go somewhere and Ive just sort of remained silent as I don't want to go but I dont know if breaking up is a bit too extreme. Should I take him up on the offer and go somewhere ?
tl;dr: he doesnt ever want to travel outside of Europe. After a conversation he wants to travel now but I don't anymore. I think we are incompatible but not sure if breaking up is too extreme

quote:

He has nothing against traveling as long as its to Europe.
I didn't put his reasons in the post cause they're down right silly and borderline racist. Its because he watches stupid videos on liveleak on how animal cruelty is very common in these places and how they eat dogs and bugs and other weird things. He also hates fish so a country like japan scares him too.
But ultimately hes actually really not interested in experiencing new cultures regardless of what he thinks theyre like. He thinks hes seen Europe- its great, its fun, why see anywhere else or go anywhere else when you can go to Europe

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china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop

Tolkien minority posted:

update from lego boyfriend, to the surprise of absolutely no one he's a massive manchild

My bf [25M], of two years claimed he couldn't travel with me [22F] because he wanted to save money. he just spent a tone of cash on toys


lego boyfriend posted:

why see anywhere else or go anywhere else when you can go to Europe

:wow:

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