quote:

i was raised by my mom (now 34f) and my grandma (54f) and got heavy into opiates and methamphetimines when I was 15 and had two very hard years.

Needless to say, we did not have a whole lot of money and my pretty much the only materiel thing my grandmother Ever loved was 1 karat diamond ring that her first husband bought for her. Well being a poo poo head and selfish addict I saw that she left it out one time and stole it and sold it for only enough pills to get hi for a few days. She was always convicted that she vacuumed it up and even now if it gets brought up she will get tears in her eyes, if not cry outright.

Well I'd always wanted to tell her because I felt like she should hate me instead of herself but I've just never found the guts to. She'd been having some health issues and went to the doctor and she has the worst kind of cancer possible, pancreatic. It has almost zero chance of her coming out of it and best case she has six months to live, but she could be gone in one or two months easily. I'm devastated because she sacrificed everything for me and I wasn't even myself to pay her back with kindness for two years, even when I wasn't an addict I was spoiled and rude and talked back to her but she always just loved me and forgave me...she's been my rock through recovery.

My question is this, in light of her diagnosis do I tell her about the ring?

Eldred posted:

I think part of it is giving up control of your finances though. Maybe there's a niche for fin dom where the dom invests sensibly for you in a diversified set of stocks and bonds.

Bonzo posted:

Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 3 months, is it weird for my girlfriend to snapchat non nude pics in the shower to guy friends?

loquacius posted:

Honestly my only reaction to this is "oh, kids"

both "I send all my friends shower pix but it's no big deal haha" and "my girlfriend is doing this weird thing and I have absolutely no context for whether I should be mad about it or not" are both some 18-year-old poo poo

loquacius posted:

Honestly my only reaction to this is "oh, kids"

both "I send all my friends shower pix but it's no big deal haha" and "my girlfriend is doing this weird thing and I have absolutely no context for whether I should be mad about it or not" are both some 18-year-old poo poo

quote:

Married 13 years. I am a sahm to our twin daughters (8f,8f). My husband works full time m-f.

The moment my husband walks in the door from work, it begins. He seems to be constantly performing for me. He needs me to acknowledge what he is doing. Nothing seems natural. Everything is so tense.

He needs me to know he is busy. He doesn't just look at his phone, he looks at his phone with a perplexed-look and let's out an audible, "hmm." He needs me to know he is in the middle of some brain-bending activity at all times.

I know it's some weird defense tactic so I don't ask him to do anything. He hates to be asked to do work around the house (things like, help with yard work, help paint). Any time I ask for his help with a task, he gets stressed. He gives me the silent treatment and huffs and sighs.

He also doesn't seem to notice anything needs to be done. The cabinet door fell off the hinge? He didn't see it. If I mention it fell off the hinge and the pin needs to be put back in, he has to explain that he hasn't been using that bathroom and couldn't have known it fell off the hinge.

Okay, got it. You didn't see it. You're not in trouble. I'm not blaming you for it.

If he does do a task, he makes sure I know how difficult it is. He needs me to notice he is hard at work and that he HATES the work. It's all such a production.

I came up with a strategy. He can do the routine things, like, grocery shop and change the litterbox. I'll do the rest. He's angry. He hates changing the litter box. It's not his cat. If I remind him it's garbage day, and to change the box, he has to give me his defense.

If I ask him to buy a different brand of rice a roni, he has to explain all the reasons he purchased that rice: the selection is limited, he didn't know the kids didn't like it, etc.

Its like, no matter how I bring up the rice a roni, he thinks he's being criticized. Things will snowball in to how ungrateful I am for all he does and he will never grocery shop again - then I'll see how hard it is and learn my lesson for attacking him.

I just don't want to be hated for everything he does. I don't want him to constantly show me how busy he is. I don't want to be involved all the time.

Example: he comes home and the kids are doing homework at the kitchen table. I'm doing dishes. We are all doing our thing. We all say hi, and welcome home.

He will spend the entire time in the kitchen intensely read junk mail while asking himself questions, "hmmm. That's funny. I thought I unsubscribed from this mailing list?"

He needs me to know he isn't relaxing while I'm doing dishes. He is engaged in a task, just like everyone else. He will jump at the chance to refill the kids milk as long as I am also "on duty." If I go off to go sew in my sewing room, he is also "off duty" and wont respond to any requests from the kids - so I get pulled away from sewing over and over. Then, he's right back "on duty" because I am. The thing is, I don't care! Just go do something/anything! I can't take it!

As a result, I usually just go lay down when he gets home and let him take over. I'm not trying to shove work on to him, I just can't take the tension. I can't stand him constantly hovering around, showing me how busy he is.

Please help. He's making me nuts. Is there a name for this behavior? I don't even know how to find a solution because I don't know what this is...

Tl;Dr: my husband hovers around me, showing me how busy he is. He hates when I ask him to do anything because he isn't good at the task/ I can't be pleased/ he hates the task... He makes me feel responsible for how miserable he is. I go to sleep when he's home to get away from him. I don't want to go hide out all the time.

Lockback posted:

I think we might have a nice bumper crop coming up


my [17f] boyfriend [16m] is scared of Hillary Clinton winning the election

quote:

Hi all, the title seems pretty terrible, but let me lay it out. My GF just started working at her first professional job and was excited. As such, she suggested that she buy both of us Apple Watches as we've had our eyes on them for a while. I was gracious and ecstatic as this was an extremely generous offer. I spent some time thinking about it and felt bad, so when she passed the bar, in addition to some other items, I got her the Apple Watch for her, rather than having to buy both. She was upset that I stole her idea, but loved the watch and came around. Fast forward a week, she starts making it seem like she didn't really want to get it for me, as she learned she had a credit card bill to pay, among other things, and saying that since I ruined it, she wasn't as excited. I really have had my eye on it for almost two years and have been patient but really wanted one. I asked if she would be upset if I get it for myself, and she says, no for a number of reason. So I go ahead and order it, and am supposed to pick it up from the Apple Store.

Then, I ask her if it makes sense for her to pay me back for hers. I didn't say this part, but I thought it made sense as she said she would get both, and I was trying to be nice, but didn't want to end up paying for both. She's livid for me asking and thinks I'm taking a gift back among a host of other things. I do kind of see where she's coming from, but I also think that I was trying to assist her the entire time and maybe I could've handled it better, or had more patience, but I'm just not sure.

Any advice and comments are appreciated.

tl;dr: Girlfriend got her first new job, said she's buy us fancy gifts, I got it for her after she passed the bar, she indicated it made less sense for her to get it for me, so I got it for me, asked her to reimburse me, which has led to a poo poo storm.

Bonzo posted:

Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 3 months, is it weird for my girlfriend to snapchat non nude pics in the shower to guy friends?

Jeff Sichoe posted:

That lady seems loving crazy

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me 25M with my girlfriend 25 F, have known each other for a long time and together for about a year. I preemptively bought her a gift that we were going to buy together but now am asking for her to repay me

quote:

My [20M] gf [18F] made a comment and it's been bothering me ever since.
I [20M] was walking home with my gf [18F] of 5 months. We were walking back from college and she was talking about her previous relationships and mentioned one that stood out to me. She mentioned that while she was dating her ex, she was also sleeping with his best friend at the same time. Then went on to tell me "i could be cheating on you and you wouldn't even know"
Is this a warning sign and should i break up with her because this is all i can think about now. She was showing me picture she took on a recent trip (before we were together) and while swiping i saw several dick pics.
Or is this a sign that she is comfortable with me now and trusts me by telling me this information? I should also add when she went to her hometown for Christmas she kissed her ex and didn't tell me about it. I found out about it later by looking in her phone.
TL;DR: she said she can cheat on me and i wouldn't even know its happening

quote:

update

Thank you first and foremost to everyone who commented. It was really eye opening for me after reading other people's perspective.
I asked her to meet with me and when we did i told her "I need to end this because i don't trust you". She took it really badly and accused me of "playing her", not caring about our relationship, and then said she's going to kill herself if i break up with her. I got really scared when she said this so i started to comfort her and she tried to kiss me and ask if we can still be together.
I stood my ground and told her we aren't getting back together but i can be her friend if she needs support. This made her angry and she started swearing at me and said i cheated on her. i didn't. She gets very jealous when i would talk to girls. She made me choose between her and my other female friends. Obviously i chose her and I'm upset i ruined my friendships because of this one person.
I asked her what i meant when she said i cheated and she said all the times i was talking about current events with my friend who is a girl. She thinks i cheated because i talk about current events over the phone. I don't talk about current events with my gf (ex now) because she says they are boring.
I accused her of cheating because i know she is after looking at her phone. She was flirting with 4 other guys and talking about having sex with them and she responded with "that's how i talk with all my friends".
She made me so angry. I'm sorry if my writing skills aren't great. English isn't my first language.
I got up and left. I blocked her on everything.l because she keeps contacting me. I found out she told all her friends i was scum to her and cheated on her and now her friends and some of our mutual friends don't like me anymore.
I got tested for sti's and they came back negative so i am happy about that.
Thank you again for everyone who helped me. I feel more confident in myself. I am still sad about her but i hope this feeling of sadness/anger goes away
When i get sad i try to get angry instead by thinking about what she did. Is this a right thing to do?
TL;DR: i broke up with her and she threatened to kill herself and all her friends don't like me and i got negative sti test results.

Leon Einstein posted:

It's amazing how many of these women receive dick pics and talk to their friends about banging them platonically.

quote:

We have been dating for about 5 months he's my first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend. We're both pretty nerdy and share a lot of nerdy hobbies together (game of thrones, star craft, star trek) however one area where we never bonded was his love of anime. I tried numerous times but could never get into it. He says his to favourite animes are Naruto and Attack on Titan. He occasionally will do marathons of anime and i won't hear from him for a few days.
Today he asked me to take a picture of him with his phone while he was posing and the background was the blind girl from Naruto (usually he has an anime background picture). Now I take a bunch of pics and one came out super bad so I go into gallery to delete it but when I do I see a folder called "Best" and the thumbnail is a naked drawing of the blind girl from naruto. I click on it and it's literally just hundreds of pics of her all the same character. I am in shock.
It hits me that he never made me his phone background it's always the blind girl from Naruto. I don't want him to think I was creeping so I don't say anything but he can tell somethings off. I tell him i'm just feeling a bit sick and he drives me home and we kiss goodbye.
Now I know porn is pretty common for guys even though I told him that I won't have sex before marriage I let him no porn is still okay with me for him to watch. But I never heard of cartoon/anime porn to this degree. I don't think there was any human porn in his phone. We're both virgins and I don't really talk about sex with other people so is it common because it seems a bit weird. The other thing that gets me is it's all the same girl and he never has me as his background image but it's her instead. Our relationship is pretty known and I'm friends with his sister and his mom so it's not like he has to keep it secret.
Am I thinking too much into this?

tl;dr: I think my boyfriend is in love with the blind girl from Naruto more than me.

quote:

She's not blind, that's her byakugan when it's not active, it's a clan trait.

ikanreed posted:

This thread occasionally makes me so irrationally distrustful of my girlfriend who has never done anything suspicious because everyone here is just so broken.

Tears In A Vial posted:

TOP COMMENT

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Uhhh isn't the blind one like a young teen or something

ikanreed posted:

This thread occasionally makes me so irrationally distrustful of my girlfriend who has never done anything suspicious because everyone here is just so broken.

Chichevache posted:

I think they are all actually cartoons.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Uhhh isn't the blind one a cartoon young teen or something.

Bonzo posted:

i (18f) am an addict in recovery. About a year ago I stole my grandmothers (54f) prized ring for drug money. I've wanted to tell her but she just got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has less than six months to live. Does she need to know the "real" me or do I carry this guilt alone forever?

Anony Mouse posted:

Ugh, tough one. I think she should come clean though. It'll be better for both of them. I'm sure granny will forgive her, and can finally stop blaming herself for "vacuuming up the ring." Meanwhile if OP doesn't confess before granny dies she'll have to live with crushing guilt for the rest of her life. And then of course there's the likely scenario that granny already knows that her drug addicted teenage granddaughter stole her ring and kept it to herself and then OP will be in even better shape by confessing.

tactlessbastard posted:

Good grief, no no no. You take that secret to your her grave and never tell anyone.

Anony Mouse posted:

Ugh, tough one. I think she should come clean though. It'll be better for both of them. I'm sure granny will forgive her, and can finally stop blaming herself for "vacuuming up the ring." Meanwhile if OP doesn't confess before granny dies she'll have to live with crushing guilt for the rest of her life. And then of course there's the likely scenario that granny already knows that her drug addicted teenage granddaughter stole her ring and kept it to herself and then OP will be in even better shape by confessing.

Pivotal Lever posted:

Tears In A Vial posted:

I (23F) feel too old for sex with my husband (24M).

Jack Trades posted:

Excuse me?!
Is she under the impression that every man is a pedo or something?

quote:

I [29F] just found out that my fiance [30M] has been selling my panties behind my back

We have been engaged for 4 months and dating for 2 years. We decided to move in together about 3 months ago and everything has been going wonderfully. Throughout the last 3 months I have noticed my underwear going missing every now and then. I thought nothing of it because I probably have 50 pairs and I usually keep a pair or two in different bags/purses in case of monthly accidents. So sometimes I will be looking for that red lace thong, but can't find it so I just assume it is in a purse/bag. Or so that was my reasoning.
This morning I was looking for the matching panties to a bra I was wearing. I looked all over and could not find them. I asked my fiance to check the dryer in case they were in there. He chuckled and said he had sold them. I assumed he was kidding and laughed and asked him to look for me. He then goes "babe, I am serious." I could not believe what I was hearing. I was beyond upset and hurt. I pressed him for details and he said he has been selling my worn panties to random people from CL!! I packed a bag and went to my sister's house for the night. I feel sick to my stomach about this. We aren't even broke or strapped for cash. His reasoning was that he wanted to make extra money to get me a nice wedding band.
I need advice about what I should do. I am at a loss right now.

TL;DR: Fiance admitted he has been selling my panties behind my back.

Pivotal Lever posted:

cyberia posted:

There's ^*clap* no ^*clap* such ^*clap* thing ^*clap* as ^*clap* closure ^*clap*

Tears In A Vial posted:

I (23F) feel too old for sex with my husband (24M).

SirSamVimes posted:

A reddit.com/r/relationships success story.