Coolness Averted posted:

Should I post the details or is that too off topic? Since it's technically not on reddit?

Coolness Averted posted:

So it's not on r/relationships (yet!) but I saw a shitshow explode over the past week I wouldn't be surprised to see pop up there.

If he posts it'll be "My girlfriend (21F) dumped me, got me (28M) evicted from my home and stole my friends stuff and money what can I do?" and she might post the follow up "My roommate/ex (28m) got black out drunk and smashed our apartment and everything in it, now I'm (21F) in trouble for a 'self remedy' eviction!"

It really is a bingo card of bad choices made. A 20 year old following her 27 year old boyfriend across the country, addiction, choosing to live with an ex to try and win them back, and punching a guitar.

Should I post the details or is that too off topic? Since it's technically not on reddit?

quote:

Hey,

So I'll keep this as concise as possible, but basically my girlfriend of 11 months told me this morning that she still feels bitter about something I did a couple weeks ago.

In October we had a major blow-up because she wasn't setting boundaries with this new guy-friend she made. We were all in lecture together and I basically had to sit there and watch her flirt with this guy for 1.5 hours; it sucked and I was really upset. She claims that she has no feelings for this guy (and I believe this), and that she didn't have time to set boundaries with him before I blew the issue up. Anyway, we mostly resolved that problem and she doesn't speak to that dude anymore.

She was supportive through the whole ordeal and I think the whole situation boiled down to my insecurity. I'm always checking her social media and his social media to see if there are any breadcrumbs. I wonder if they still chat over FB. Stuff like that, that I'm working hard to get over.

Well a couple weeks ago, I was still feeling insecure about seeing my GF flirt with this guy. I've been dumped in my past several relationships and I'm really invested in her, and I guess that translates to insecurity/fear of losing her. So I did something dumb; I picked a hot chick on Instagram and started a private conversation with her. I sent hearts and she sent some back, we flirted, talked about our hobbies, etc.

Well she found out. She wasn't snooping, but she saw that I'd been messaging this chick and grilled me on it. I didn't show her the conversation but I admitted to her that the messages were flirty. She asked why I did it, and I explaiend it's because I can't trust her about this guy-friend incident (not setting boundaries - who else is she not setting boundaries with??) and that I was feeling insecure. I apologized and admitted it was a stupid thing to do.

She said she wasn't mad but she was kind of shaking. I apologized again later that night.

This morning she told me she still resents me for what I did, and that she is unsure of how to handle this emotion. She said she just wants to know that I understand how lovely what I did was (to which I cited my two apologies). She's also said she's paranoid that I've done this in the past with other women whenever I feel insecure and that I should've told her about my insecurity instead. I don't know how to help her.

Should I unfollow the lady I messaged? I've never met her in person. Should I show her the conversation?

tl;dr: In a moment of insecurity I did something borderline cheating, my GF says she is still bitter about it a couple weeks later, is asking me for help with dealing with her bitterness, I'm not sure what the best action is - but I don't want to lose her.

Leon Einstein posted:

It's another dude, not a woman.

gentle pete posted:

Not relationships but

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

In the meantime let's check out this dumbshit-


my girlfriend is still pissed a month later [35/m ; 24/f]

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

In the meantime let's check out this dumbshit-


my girlfriend is still pissed a month later [35/m ; 24/f]

quote:

Should I unfollow the lady I messaged? I've never met her in person.

quote:

[KY] Laws surrounding giving child up for adoption

I will be consulting a lawyer this week, but prefer to go in with some idea of what to expect.
My wife and I wish to place our 3 month old daughter up for adoption. Are there any laws that could impact this process? Could members of our family file against our decision to adopt out? How long can we expect the entire process to take?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Is that all there is to the post? Jesus Christ.
Well, take solace in the fact that if this is a healthy (white) baby with no disabilities, deformation etc, it will probably find a good home almost immediately.
Most people want a shiny new baby in mint condition.

almightyerin posted:

Not relationships but holy hell these two are a piece of work. The op isn't much but the comments are where it's at. The baby isn't a "good fit" and the wife wants it gone by Christmas so the holidays won't be awkward.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Better the baby is adopted out than being raised by people who hate the child

almightyerin posted:

All there is to the post yes, but get into the comments you find out the kid was planned and the wife can't handle how emotionally needy the kid is. The mother in law would want the baby but they want to block family members from adopting the baby because the wife is afraid that will make the holidays awkward. He was posting looking for advice on how to get this accomplished fast because they want the baby gone by Christmas.

I don't know. Struck me as kinda screwed up.

almightyerin posted:

I get that. My reason for posting it wasn't because adopting out the baby was screwed up, it was the fact that the family all adores this baby and would be willing to adopt it, especially the grandmother and they want to show up for Christmas sans baby and expect everyone to be totally cool with it like nothing happened. Like grandma and aunt Cathy wouldn't be heartbroken.

quote:

I know this sounds crazy. It is crazy, but it is real. My uncle has owned multiple exotic animals in his time (a lion and a bear) and has a permit to own those animals in another state. A friend of his in this exotic animal world has had a litter of lion cubs and "owes [my uncle] a favor" and he wants to GIVE ME A LION. I don't want a lion. I can't have a lion. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have one in Kentucky. He may have already paid for this lion, and he is serious and adamant I need to have this lion cub. I thought he was joking. He was not.

I am desperately hoping we can convince him how horrible of an idea it would be if he actually delivers the lion, but just in case, how do I get rid of a lion?! What would I be facing, legally, if I suddenly were in possession of one? What would happen to him if he were caught in Kentucky with the lion?

Ignis posted:

He also made a post out of concern about his wife's apparent detachment to her daughter, when his own detachment can't be any more clear from his posts

Anyways here's a fun one but not relationships related

KY: SERIOUS: I may need to get rid of a lion.

Gaunab posted:

For some reason legaladvice is more depressing than relationships

WampaLord posted:

In there, people can be victim of circumstances that are entirely not their fault, like lovely neighbors or whatever. You didn't pick and seduce your neighbors, or you did, which is a whole nother r/relationships post.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Is that all there is to the post? Jesus Christ.
Well, take solace in the fact that if this is a healthy (white) baby with no disabilities, deformation etc, it will probably find a good home almost immediately.
Most people want a shiny new baby in mint condition.

Coolness Averted posted:

I think I read somewhere the moment you drive them off the lot, babies lose like 20% of their value.

But back to the story of Oliver (28m) and Barbara (21f)
So, Oliver has a bit of a history with my partner's friend circle, she's known him since he was 15. He's fun enough at parties but an immature loser who has learned 0 life skills, and also burned many a bridge when it comes to roommates or crashing on couches -even his parents have pretty much given up on him. Stereotypical manchild stuff, with alcoholism and some sort of untreated mental illness or disability, since he's smart about philosophy and science but acts like a child with anything remotely related to the real world. Barbara, I don't really know much about, other than she's some kid that moved across the country for a boy at age 20, but since both look young if I told you "One of these two people is 28 years old, the other is 21, talk to them for 15 minutes and guess which is which," you'd probably guess she was the older one.

So after a year of dating as she realizes she's now his mommy and Oliver is not changing, Barbara grows increasingly agitated with and grows to hate him. The screaming matches escalate until she finally dumps him about 2 weeks ago, but they're still stuck living together in a tiny one bedroom. She makes plans to move out after December, but they're stuck with each other until then -both names are on the lease, even though it's month to month, they're poor and all of her support structure in back east. He doesn't have a problem with this arrangement, since he's going to win her back! Seeing Oliver doesn't accept it's over, a few days later Barbara makes plans to go out to a bar and hook up with someone to help hammer the point. Oliver does not take 'his girlfriend cheating on him' well, and retaliates by quitting his job and staying home alternating between drinking himself into a stupor and begging for her to take him back.

A week of this housing arrangement goes by, and Barbara texts my girlfriend since she's going crazy. It's her day off and she just wants to relax without Oliver around, so she wants to go to a cafe with us or hang out at our place -anything to get away. My girlfriend sympathizes, when she was younger she wound up stranded in Canada with a similar problem, and had to rely on her ex's friends for help until she could move back down to the US. Oliver upon finding out she's hanging out with his friends and he's not invited storms off to drink at a bar to prove he can go out too. The last time he went out drinking when he got home they wound up screaming at each other and he smashed his own laptop against a wall. Barbara doesn't want to repeat that, so winds up crashing in our guest room.

The next morning, she gets a call from their landlord, they're being evicted for property damage and keeping all of the neighbors up with their arguing and smashing up the apartment then blaring music all night to the point the cops got called. This surprises Barbara, she did after all spend the night at our place, she bursts into tears since all of her stuff may be ruined and now she's homeless. When she explains this to the landlord, they're surprised it was only Oliver, but he's gone now, and if she'll change the locks and takeover the lease and let them in to survey the damage they'll let her stay after the cops file a report. So she agrees, and we head on over, only for a groggy Oliver to sheepishly peak his head out the door as he asks about what's going on. That doesn't fly since anyone can see his knuckles are scabbed over and bruised from hitting something at this point. He either blacked out and genuinely didn't know what he did, or he's playing dumb about what happened the previous night and denies anything happened. When the landlord makes him open the door and it's clear there's damage to the place, Oliver begins ranting about it not being fair he's being arrested and what he does in his own home is his own business.

Once she finally can see inside and see the damage -their coffee table is flipped, glass coasters are shattered, the ashtray has been poured out on the ground so he could rummage through for smokable butts, there's freshly punched holes in walls, and the screen and blinds and have been torn off the bedroom window- she loses it, practically breaks down crying especially once she notices he's broken her guitar. He didn't rockstar smash it or anything fun, but clearly punched it until the neck began to give and split. Both at this point are increasingly crying sobbing messes, he's flipflopping between apologizing and also trying to justify himself/assert he shouldn't have to go to jail. We separate the two, and I help him get a trashbag and backpack to put the stuff he immediately needs in, but he's a child and frozen unable to even think about what he needs, so I have to make the list of stuff like clothes and toothbrush and have to reassure him he's not going to jail but needs to leave, and the court will help arrange for a supervised pickup, since now the only thing Barbara will say to him is she's getting a restraining order. When he finally starts to understand the situation and pack I step outside. A minute later at most I think I hear the hiss of a butane lighter. Then a cough. A few seconds later another cough. Checking back in Motherfucker was sprawled out on the couch with his feet up on the overturned coffee table and lit up a bowl of resin while waiting for the cops.

In true fake reddit style I have a few updates to post, but jeeze this was a wall of text already so I won't include them here.

I guess also sticking with reddit style, tldr: Dude pushing 30 got dumped by his 21 year old girlfriend for being a loser, so he gets drunk and smashes up their apartment. He then gets kicked out/has no idea how to pack his bags, but knows how to pack a bowl. Oh also he literally punched a guitar until it broke.

Gaunab posted:

For some reason legaladvice is more depressing than relationships

quote:

I'm not gonna state names, let's call him M,

We met in middle school and I was bullied at the time for me acting weird due to me having ASD, we bonded almost immediately and we looked out for each other.

In sophomore year, we hit a very rough patch and I came to the realization that he is disloyal and was talking poo poo behind my back also he was hanging out with my enemies. To add insult to injury, I was going through some tough times academically and personally.

In Freshmen Year of College, I went at him again because he was falling back into the same disloyalty when I was going through tough times and I needed someone to talk to, this year, the day after Prince died we talked it out and we reconciled, then he was telling me how he was going to some church and how it helped him, long story short, I ended up going to a bible study and here's the part that really shook me up a little bit, they would gather in a circle, spread their arms out and they allegedly "feel" God throughout them with a mix of fortune telling and prophecy. I went a few times after that and I wasn't accustomed to it, My dad warned me about cults and how it is easy to get hooked into them, I would find out later that he was right all along.

I am an Orthodox Christian, so I was exposed to Christianity from a young age, and I do believe in God but this is about him, not me

Some acquaintances that go to the same CC as I do, were telling about him texting them to go to this thing of his and some people actually went and it confirmed my suspicions of it being a cult, one guy told me that the situation reminded him of the 2014 film "The Master" and even someone talking about how M texted him a long paragraph of how he should come to his thing and he was so freaked out and it was too much for him to handle that he had to leave him on Read and not reply.

So, last week, I was duped to going to his thing again while i was convinced that I would just hang out, before we got to his house, I asked him to detour to Wendy's because I was hungry, he told me no, and even on the way back, I am starting to believe that he's becoming selfish with not only me, but with everyone except the people in the cult

I am seriously considering ditching him and look for a new best friend, but I am too shy but that's for another thread.

But I won't give in without a fight, How do I save him and his family from this?, What should I do? and If it's too late, how should I cope with it?

tl;dr: Me and my best friend fell out, we got back together and he was duped into joining a cult

Me [24 M] with a girl I met on Bumble [25 F], went on a date and, after kissing her, my mouth went numb. Is this cocaine? Or could it be numbing lipstick?

I met this girl through Bumble and we messaged for a few weeks. We got along great, had some similar interests and some mutual friends. We decided to go for drinks last night.

Drinks went well, it seemed like we got along pretty well. She got fairly tipsy at the restaurant, like noticeably intoxicated but not stumbling around or anything. After drinks, we went back to her place and she went to the bathroom and came back out and we made out and I noticed a chemical taste in her mouth. Then my lips and face went numb for about half an hour. I have done coke one time and the numbness felt very similar to what I experienced when I tried the drug. The taste of her mouth tasted like coke too. I called her out at the time and she said "Oh, I noticed that too, I think someone might have put something in our drinks at dinner". She said this in a very casual and strange way. She then went back to the bathroom, came back out and she had a mini panic attack saying that she was afraid that someone was going to break in (this makes no sense we were in a locked apartment on the 10th floor). I had to hold her while she hyperventilated.

Looking back at our date, she did go to the washroom maybe 5 times. She was talking pretty quickly too.

Talking to her today, she has said that she may have put on numbing lipstick and thats what it could have been. She says that she does not remember anything from when we got home and unequivocally denies doing coke last night. She does say that she has used it in the past.

I am wondering if any coke users could weigh in on whether the symptoms I experienced were coke related? Also can numbing lipstick create this effect?

Personally, I just think she's lying and did coke throughout our date, but would love to hear some other opinions.

tl;dr: Went on Bumble date and cant figure out whether my date was coked up? Or just using numbing lipstick?

Ignis posted:

He also made a post out of concern about his wife's apparent detachment to her daughter, when his own detachment can't be any more clear from his posts

Anyways here's a fun one but not relationships related

KY: SERIOUS: I may need to get rid of a lion.

Jack Trades posted:

Ask her to share.

Better Fred Than Dead posted:

lol numbing lipstick