/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

supernatural blonde posted:

After they break up I bet that guy would have learned the lesson to never tell the truth about the number of previous sexual partners, he was too dumb to realise he should have lied his rear end off. The only acceptable numbers are 0-5. Everyone is insecure and skeeved out by this poo poo.

lol 0

edit: To clarify, 0 will no longer be acceptable by a certain age

Lone Goat fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Nov 18, 2016

# ? Nov 18, 2016 02:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 19:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I 30F received an anonymous text that my 32M Boyfriend of 4 1/2 years cheated on me on a trip he went on back in March, anon says they have evidence haven't replied, kind of panicking.

Now I want to start off by saying this, about 5 years ago when my boyfriend Blake and I met, we were dating and said we were exclusive but weren't ready to fully commit to 'boyfriend/girlfriend'. But we agreed no hooking up/dating anyone else while we navigate what direction we wanted to go in.

His ex-girlfriend likes to also anonymously text me sometimes, just stupid stuff I ignore it/have blocked her but it drives me nuts and it really stresses him out. She stabbed him when he was 21 (she's out of jail now) and anything to do with her he really just panics. (This is relevant later)

I received an anonymous text during that time that my boyfriend had hooked up with someone. I asked him about it, he confessed he got a blow job, and we worked through it. It was fine, I was hurt, but it was fine. It is not even significant anymore, we have had an awesome relationship. We are looking into moving in together, and marriage in the near-ish future.

Back in March Blake went on a snowboarding trip with his friends, to a big competition. I was not invited, which was no big deal. We were kind of in a rough patch at that time, my dad has just passed away and I was struggling. But it wasn't on the verge of breakup, just navigating through some hard stuff in life. He dropped off the map on the trip.

He has a pretty big snowboarding community of people in neighboring states and Canada, I am happy for him. There is one girl, Ashley, who he has talked to a lot about it. I haven't ever had a problem with it. He didn't tell me though that she was going to specifically meet up with his group of friends. She rode with them the entire time. I was upset because he made it seem like this big guys trip, I have snowboarded my entire life and I would have LOVED to have gone. So I was hurt she was so involved, she had to get stitches and he took her to the hospital, and they just spent a lot of time together.

When he got back all of their text messages were deleted except he sent one that said "sorry if I was an rear end at all this weekend". Not that I was going through his phone, he showed me. He didn't tell me they were together till she posted a picture and I was like oh you met Ashley for the first time? (She lives in a different state then we do). I was a little hurt, and just felt super OFF about the whole thing but dropped it because I trust him, I just felt left out more then anything. Not that he cheated, but that I was left out of a fun event.

He still comments some flirty stuff on her pictures, nothing that crosses the line for me. But still just feels...off. I haven't said anything because I do trust him fully. He is my best friend and I love him to bits.

Now come to this morning, I have a text from an anonymous number saying "Blake slept with Ashley at the snowcon in March, I have evidence if you want to know." My heart sunk. I haven't talked with Blake because I don't want to seem like I am accusing him of anything (I know he will feel that way), and I also feel like I am betraying him by asking for the evidence. If it is his ex-girlfriend I just want to ignore it and not even bring it up to him to stress him out.

Not sure what to do, this might seem stupid but I am just kind of in a panic.

Update 1: Texted anon back and asked for the evidence, as a user said. Trust but verify. Will keep all of you posted thanks for being there for me!

tl;dr: Got an anon text saying my BF cheated on me in March. Not sure how to respond.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 03:02

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Who you gonna believe, baby? Me or those lyin' texts?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 03:23

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

I had to track that one down to see if any resolution, and the lady posting it is dumber than a sack of bricks. This guy's cheated on me before and sets up all kinds of suspicious trips with women, and more than one person has told me he's cheated on me multiple times! I still trust him though, he'd never cheat on me!

# ? Nov 18, 2016 03:40

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

pfffft it was just a blow job that first time, don't be prudes

# ? Nov 18, 2016 04:04

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I've only had sex with two people, and one of them raped me. So that means you ladies get to mold and shape me. Who's first?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 04:21

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

One of the first rules you gotta learn in life is 'don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to', and 'how many cocks have you pole-vaulted onto' is right up there with 'is my dick bigger than his' in terms of poo poo that I'm perfectly happy living in perpetual ignorance.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 04:42

Doctor J Off: Dec 28, 2005; There Is

I don't know who this guy is but he sure seems to know a lot about me!

quote:

Hey Redditors,

Looking for some perspective on the following situation.

I recently met and started dating a woman and it's been by far the best and most natural connection I've ever had. We're both feeling it very strongly and equally.

While my experience thus far has been incredibly positive, there's one red flag that my instincts are warning me about, so I'm looking for some perspective and advice on how to process it and communicate with her about it as our relationship continues to develop.

One of the first things she told me about as we were getting to know each other was about her male best friend of 10+ years who's completely in love with her. According to her, its an unrequited romantic love...though they are close in a way that is a bit unusual for 2 people who aren't romantically involved. He cooks for her, they have sleepovers, he's her "favorite person in the whole world". If I didn't know her personally and saw her social media accounts, I'd assume that he was her boyfriend. She talks about him to me often, though makes it very clear she has never and will never be interested in him romantically. He seems to be one of the most important people in her life.

Apparently, she's told him about me and he's very aware of our budding relationship...yet it seems that hasn't stopped him from telling her he's in love with her, writing her love letters, etc. It seems she has to consistently have the conversation with him that they're just friends. She mentioned to me he has high functioning autism. Not sure if that has anything to do with his inability to accept that she's not in love with him, and why he acts the way he does. I'm also not sure if she's doing anything to enable his feelings or lead him on. I trust that she is clear with him about her feelings; though there's a part of me that is thinking this might be a red flag and I should confront any thoughts about it now before I let the relationship progress any further.

I'm not typically a jealous, possessive or controlling person and don't feel threatened by her friend. I'm not interested in telling anyone who they can or can't be friends with and defining that relationship for them...people need to make their own decisions. I do believe there is a strong connection between her and I that is worth pursuing and letting unfold.

So Reddit, any advice for how to align my thoughts, feelings, actions and words with this reality? Should I communicate anything now? Should I wait until I meet him and feel it out more?

boldtl;dr: Woman I'm dating's best male friend has been in love with her for 10+ years and I'm not sure what to think about it.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 06:26

snakeandbake: Aug 21, 2012; by exmarx

Doctor J Off posted:

I don't know who this guy is but he sure seems to know a lot about me!

You know drat well what to think about it.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 06:40

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

He's toast

# ? Nov 18, 2016 06:57

BAD ASS minion memes!: Apr 12, 2014

this one is actually from /r/hacking, bur I think it fits.

quote:

any good password cracking tools for password protected microsoft word?

Soo this is my problem. My girlfriend has the tendency to lock up my word document whenever she is pissed or we get into a fight. It is only when I apologies or when she cooled down and feel "generous" enough to give me the password. And since she is using different password for every time since I would try her old password she used, she forgotten this one. Got into another argument regarding this. I need this for my work.

If this helps, these are her previous passwords

Password123 hername<space> herbirthday mynameiswrongandshouldapologise

and a few more

TLDR: My gf likes to lock my microsoft word when we argue. she forgotten the most recent one. Help

# ? Nov 18, 2016 12:01

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

BAD rear end minion memes! posted:

this one is actually from /r/hacking, bur I think it fits.

How's he not severing faster than she could say "I password protected your poo poo." is beyond me.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 14:07

ghosthorse: Dec 15, 2011; ...you forget so easily...

Pvt.Scott posted:

I've only had sex with two people, and one of them raped me. So that means you ladies get to mold and shape me. Who's first?

that's quite the poem

# ? Nov 18, 2016 14:08

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Jack Trades posted:

How's he not severing faster than she could say "I password protected your poo poo." is beyond me.

I was gonna say he can't sever because she's holding his expensive productivity software hostage, but she doesn't know the loving password either which I think is ample grounds for him to instantly forget her existence yeah

# ? Nov 18, 2016 14:10

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

I [25F] am terrified of Whoopi GoldbergPersonal issues
submitted 4 minutes ago by afraidofwhoppi

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dmbe6/i_25f_am_terrified_of_whoopi_goldberg/

quote:

Ridiculous, I know. Obvs throwaway because duh.
Okay, here goes... Disclosure, I have been drinking to deal with my fear and hopefully get some sleep...
I am a vivid & lucid dreamer. I remember 98% of my dreams, they're so vivid it's like watching a movie. I know when I'm dreaming, I can stop & start them, change them if I get bored or want to watch something else, so long as it's a good dream. My nightmares are textbook cheesy movie scary for the most part. Think big spiders, clowns, usual horror movie stuff. What makes them nightmares for me, I can't change them, I can't change the story, I can't make them stop, I can't make myself wake up, I just have to watch it play out.
About 12/13 years ago I had the most terrifying dream, and for some reason involved Whoopi Goldberg. I won't go into much detail about the dream itself, but it still haunts me to this day. I still think and dream about it. It scared me so much that I cannot see an image of her without having a panic attack. I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's true. I have no idea why it was Whoopi. I honestly wish I did. The View was ruined for me when she became a host. She is literally the only thing I'm truly afraid of.
Whenever I get super stressed my mind helps me greatly by making me have nightmares.
Onto the issue, a couple days ago I had another Whoopi nightmare. This one was infinitely more terrifying than the previous one. I haven't been able to sleep since. I get maybe an hour at a time and I can't bare to have the lights on because I feel like she's watching me from the garden.
I want to ask some friends to come look over my building to make sure that there's no-one there, but I feel like a kid asking my mum to check for monsters in the closet.
How do I bring up my fears to my friends and ask for help getting through this without sounding batshit crazy?

tl;dr: Terrified of Whoopi Goldberg, had a vivid nightmare about her again because of stress. Want to ask friends for help with out sounding psyco.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 14:19

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Sounds like Whoopi tbf

# ? Nov 18, 2016 14:28

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

A Moose posted:

I [25F] am terrified of Whoopi GoldbergPersonal issues
submitted 4 minutes ago by afraidofwhoppi

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dmbe6/i_25f_am_terrified_of_whoopi_goldberg/

It's funny but I can't really blame her.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 14:45

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

ghosthorse posted:

that's quite the poem

I'm a cunning linguist.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 15:13

C-SPAN Caller: Apr 21, 2010

Not a Children posted:

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

She... she reported this to the police right?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 15:24

Nitrox: Jul 5, 2002

C-SPAN Caller posted:

She... she reported this to the police right?

Did you read any posts in the thread afterwards?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 15:30

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

C-SPAN Caller posted:

She... she reported this to the police right?

She reported it to the internet. Almost the same thing.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 15:29

SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT: Oct 14, 2016; A thinking, breathing house? You're mad!

C-SPAN Caller posted:

She... she reported this to the police right?

Yes. Her neighbour rescued her and they called the police.

quote:

The police were able to find Robert thanks to me being a weirdo who keeps hers and her SO's license plate numbers memorized and written in my phone just in case. Charges have been filed and I got a restraining order this week. I am safe now, and moved into my own place, closer to school and work and I have my own kitchen that I can keep whatever the gently caress I want in. I feel so much more free and overall, am happier. I don't know if Robert will ever get help for his eating problems, but I am glad to say that it's no longer my concern.

I would not call that a "happy ending", but at least she is in a much better place now.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 15:32

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Leon Einstein posted:

It's a question that will most likely lead to answers you don't want to know.

Right I just had this discussion with someone.

"Will knowing the answer of if they were dating other people when you at the start of the relationship (a few dates in) fundamentally change who they are? If no then don't ask because the question has the potential to make you mad.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 15:36

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

Someone is leaving pubic hair on my [40/m] desk at work. How to resolve?

quote:

Throwaway, for the normal reasons. While this is not a specific, one-on-one relationship question, it does relate to my relationships with my co-workers.

tl/dr: Twice I have found pubic hair in very obvious places on my desk at work. No idea who it is. What to do?

A tiny bit of background: I work in an office with cubicles that have 4 foot walls. Its a very large, national company, & I've worked here about a year. A while back I was at the local Walmart on break picking up a few things and walked by the toy section and right on an endcap there was a Hot Wheels of my car.
Because I was new and I had just bought the car, I bought the toy car and pinned it to my cubicle wall as a decoration (still in the package). Its right in my line of sight above my monitor. Its been up there for months and I stare in its direction daily (its RIGHT there, there's not much else to look at!).

So about two weeks ago I glance up and see that toy car and there is what appears to be a pubic hair right on top of the clear plastic part of the package. I grab the hair for a closer look and it totally looks like a pube! An inch long, a bit of a curl, pointy at one end follicle at the other. Really gross, right? So I toss it, wash my hands and get back to work. No big deal.

Yesterday another department is launching this new product so they have a set up in the cafeteria with tables explaining it, free cookies, a demo, a giveaway contest, etc. So everyone in my group goes over to check it out, but not all of us at once. I went over with 2-3 people, get my cookie and head back. People are coming and going, most are gone when I return. When I get back THERE'S ANOTHER PUBE ON MY DESK. This time right smack in the middle of the space between my keyboard and the edge of the desk. There's no way this wasn't deliberate, it wasn't there when I left and I was only gone 20 mins. I stuck a piece of tape to it and taped it to a napkin (for evidence? I'm not sure yet)

Now, here's the kicker: I'm a 40 year old white guy. I don't feel threatened, but I'm a little weirded out. Maybe its someone with a kink, maybe its someone who gets off on grossing people out. I don't know. I'm concerned it might escalate (more hairs in grosser places, like my lunch that I bring from home).

I was talking to my wife about it last night and she said I should ignore it, that it probly "blew up there" from air current or something. I asked her what she'd say if I were a 25 year old woman and she didn't have a reply. (which is why I left my age/sex out of the title, sorry mods!)

Now look, I'm not threatened, I'm not worried about physical danger. I just find it super gross. Clearly its some form of sexual harassment, but assuming I tell HR what can they even do? They're not going to question everyone and they're not going to put in cameras. And it may not even happen again. I'm pretty sure they aren't going to DNA test the hair to find the person.

I've been trying to figure out who it might be and aside from assuming the two young-ish douchy sales guys might be playing a joke, I have no idea.

For myself, I'll keep an eye out for more pubes and if it happens a few more times, take all of the hairs to HR and see what they can do. I'm also slightly worried about who else might be getting unwanted presents, because I'd imagine this happening to a female employee it might be much more troubling.

Should I bring it up to our department head (who happens to be a woman)? How many times should I let this happen before I make an official report? What would you do?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:04

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

Hey guys just checking are open relationships still bad idea? lets see what reddit has to say!

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dm7cd/me_23_m_with_my_boyfriend_29_m_considered_an_open/

Me [23 M] with my boyfriend [29 M] considered an open relationship, he hooked up with someone, I feel extremely betrayedInfidelity
submitted 2 hours ago by Sublimespectrum

quote:

First of all, let me sell myself as this: I shouldn't have agreed to this without giving it a LOT of thought.
Basically, he hooked up with someone the night that I wasn't with him, and he said he felt guilty about it last night. He didn't say anything about what he specifically said he was guilty about other than telling me what an awful experience it was and how he appreciates me more. I could also tell by how he was acting more lovey-dovey towards me more than usual. I originally agreed to this thinking "I don't think this will make me feel too uncomfortable.. I think I can gain something from this because I haven't had sex with that many people but I really like this guy, so why not?" Now I am realizing I was completely wrong, and I am actually not only uncomfortable with it, it's actually giving me trauma to the point where I couldn't sleep at his apartment.
We agreed to do this because we are both "young" and we should experience a lot of people. He also mentioned that if he were to see a lot of people, it would make him feel better in the future to say "I picked this one person (which is me) over all of these people." While that is a romantic idea, I think that's a little flawed when it comes to developing a long lasting relationship.
I'm glad he was honest with me, and he said he felt bad. However, I realize I can't do this. This isn't in my nature at all. I feel like this really ruined my intimacy with him and I don't know what to do exactly or how to make sense of this situation to him.
What I am most likely going to do is say I feel very uncomfortable with this, and I would rather not pursue an open relationship. Unfortunately, if he says he wants to keep the open relationship, I can't continue this. It feels like he's been tainted by someone else, and I feel like he almost cheated on me.
Am I right for feeling this way? I can't really talk to anyone in my personal life about this because I know they would disapprove completely. Any kind of advice for me would be great. I am really a lover, but I can't marginalize my feelings on this subject.
Thank you in advance for reading this, I truly appreciate it.
tl;dr: Agreed to open relationship, he had sex with someone, he feels guilty, and I now realize I can't do this open relationship.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:05

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Someone is leaving pubic hair on my [40/m] desk at work. How to resolve?

Dude all acting like he's never heard of a webcam before

He doesn't even have to leave the thing running, just get a webcam and put it in a very obvious place and see if the pubes stop. If that doesn't work, start rolling and see what you can see

A Moose posted:

Hey guys just checking are open relationships still bad idea? lets see what reddit has to say!

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dm7cd/me_23_m_with_my_boyfriend_29_m_considered_an_open/

Me [23 M] with my boyfriend [29 M] considered an open relationship, he hooked up with someone, I feel extremely betrayedInfidelity
submitted 2 hours ago by Sublimespectrum

This one actually seems really straightforward. The boyfriend already feels guilty about it, that means he's having second thoughts too. Just say "actually it turns out this was a bad idea" and he'd probably agree, what's the issue v :geno:

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:07

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

"Help! seeing my girlfriend makes me throw up!"
Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 2 Months, Anxiety problemsDating
submitted 26 minutes ago * by jestxeterdamaion

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dmq83/me_18_m_with_my_girlfriend_17_f_2_months_anxiety/

quote:

So I've been going out with this girls for almost two months now. I am happy with her and stuff but my anxiety ruins it. Every time I go see her I get super anxious and end up throwing up. So every time I go out and see her I make sure not eat anything because I don't want to throw up anything. This has caused me a great bit of stress. I have lost 5 lbs. My overall goal was to put on muscle mass but with this anxiety I don't think it's possible.
We only see each other probably once a week but text each other everyday. She usually hangs out with other dudes and video chats with them more than me. She says they're just friends but I always get mad and jealous of that stuff. Especially when she talks about how cute the guy she saw at the store or how the dude her friend is talking to is so sexy. (supposedly this is teasing though, but I've told her to chill with it a little but she keeps going)
So I am just looking for some advice..... I don't know if I should end it. Keep in mind once my initial anxiety settles down I have a blast with her. It's just always the approaching anxiety when I see her..... Do you guys have any tips to reduce that? Should I see her a little more often? What about the dudes she is talking to and calling cute? Should I scold her for that cause it does be pissing me off.
tl;dr: Anxiety before seeing girlfriend makes me throwup. I don't like throwing up. Should I end this relationship because of my anxiety and focus on myself. My number one goal was to gain weight but it's hard with this anxiety. Can only eat normally when I'm not going to see her that day.

... poo poo dude, maybe girls just aren't your thing?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:11

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Maybe he's a sex repulsed aromantic asexual

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:17

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

My (30F) husband (30M) is mean to me. Now our kid (5M) is starting to be mean to me too.[new]
submitted 6 minutes ago by ThrownAwayKid39702

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dmv3g/my_30f_husband_30m_is_mean_to_me_now_our_kid_5m/

quote:

My husband's favorite thing to say to me is: "Are you a moron or just an idiot?" I know I need to leave, but if I can stick it out a while longer, I'll be in much better financial shape to support myself and our children.
Except now my child is starting to repeat what his father says. He calls me "Woman!" And started to berate me yesterday because he got home from school and realized that I hadn't had time to go grocery shopping.
Help.
TL;DR: my husband is a dick, and he's teaching my kid to be a dick too.

This one kind of sad, but somehow I laugh whenever I imagine a 5-year old calling his mom "woman" and calling her an idiot.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:17

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

A Moose posted:

"Help! seeing my girlfriend makes me throw up!"
Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 2 Months, Anxiety problemsDating
submitted 26 minutes ago * by jestxeterdamaion

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dmq83/me_18_m_with_my_girlfriend_17_f_2_months_anxiety/

... poo poo dude, maybe girls just aren't your thing?

I think this was a gag on early seasons of South Park

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:20

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

Me [25M] and ex's [17F] sister hanging out?Relationships
submitted an hour ago by Nickpendu

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5dmhrw/me_25m_and_exs_17f_sister_hanging_out/

quote:

so I [25m] was dating this girl [19f] and it was only in its early stages (6 weeks) and i became suss that the was seeing other guys behind my back so after becoming very suspicious i asked my friend to follow her,
he got pics of her meeting up with 2 other guys and going to their houses whilst i was at work. i called it off after i confronted her about it and she admitted and kept apologising bust i sent her packing.
a few days later her sister [17] comes in to my work just as i was finishing and asked for a ride home, during the drive she said that i didn't deserve what had happen and that she still wants to hang out.
well we had been texting and i decided to take her to the movies, during the movie she put her head on my shoulder and i then put my arm around her and on the way out she reached for my hand and held it as we walked to my car.
that night she stayed at my place and we had sex and she sent a snapchat of herself in my bed to her story, not with me in it but it was very obvious it was my room to anyone that had been in it before, i assume this was to make her sister see?
anyway its been 3 weeks now and she was been staying over every night since and she is a really really good looking girl but 25 and 17 is a bit of a gap, but we really do have fun together and i enjoy her company. what do you think?
tl;dr: Mandatory summary/question!
should i keep seeing a 17 year old?

somehow I can totally imagine this dude's wispy mustache and beat up old car outside the highschool, getting chased off by the police every few days when he waits outside for his "girlfriend".

The comments are beautiful too btw. "she's not like other 17 year olds" "she's mature for her age" "her last boyfriend was 27 and now he's doing time for armed robbery"

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:24

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

loquacius posted:

I think this was a gag on early seasons of South Park

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:47

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Someone is leaving pubic hair on my [40/m] desk at work. How to resolve?

Does this person work with Clarence Thomas

# ? Nov 18, 2016 16:57

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

A Moose posted:

Me [25M] and ex's [17F] sister hanging out?Relationships
submitted an hour ago by Nickpendu

how does "hanging out" translate to "loving" for this guy? she's 17 that seems like a big lede to bury

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:04

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

How does "watching a movie on Netflix with your buddy" translate to "loving" for people? I apparently propositioned several female acquaintances for sex around the time "Netflix and Chill" was becoming a thing. Some people assume hanging out with your preferred gender means sexytime all the time. I just wanted to watch some cool movies and hang out.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:10

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

Dude "come over and watch a movie" has been code for sex long before netflix was around

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:13

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

Fullhouse posted:

how does "hanging out" translate to "loving" for this guy? she's 17 that seems like a big lede to bury

he wanted to get the sympathy card for being cheated on before he drops the "loving underage girls 8 years younger than me" bomb

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:13

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

PokeJoe posted:

Dude "come over and watch a movie" has been code for sex long before netflix was around

Every first hookup I've ever had with a girlfriend happened when I asked them to come over and watch a movie

I lost my virginity by getting someone to come over and watch a movie

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:18

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Guarantee it's not a pube but someone pulling on their beard absentmindedly

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 19:04

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

loquacius posted:

Every first hookup I've ever had with a girlfriend happened when I asked them to come over and watch a movie

I lost my virginity by getting someone to come over and watch a movie

same

There are many movies that I've only seen the first and last 5 minutes of.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 17:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »