Chomp8645 posted:

The whole story is pointless because who is right and who is wrong is a value judgement based on their personal dynamics.

Maybe she's one of those "how to adult???" folks who just never knows anything about anything despite being on this earth for 25 years. Those people are annoying and deservedly get brushed off sometimes. Maybe she's constantly hounding him for dumb poo poo she should be able to handle herself and he didn't want to deal with it right then.

WampaLord posted:

He could have compromised and gone home, picked her up, and let her come hang out at the Magic tournament where there's at least power.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Or at least paid for an uber.

zakharov posted:

Maybe I'm a big softie but fears aren't always rational and if my fiancee called me and begged me to come home because she was freaked out I'd go

Nazzadan posted:

He does seem to be a bit too into Magic. Not dropping FNM for his fetus of a gf is understandable, but the fact that he is playing Magic aka spending money on Magic above and beyond a competitive deck 4 nights a week, he's got some issues as well.

Crack might literally be a cheaper habit

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My wife (41F) is obsessed with her friends as if she were a 13 year old. Me (45M).

quote:

When we met, I enjoyed her circle of friends because they partied and drank every weekend, as did I. They made plans every weekend and usually went out drinking two nights a week, sometimes three or four. Eventually, it wore me down. It seemed no fun could be had without getting drunk and I began to resent it, but I truly believed she’d grow out of it, or at least when they reached age 40 they would slow down.

HardDiskD posted:

Wait, what?

LGD posted:

Pretty much my perspective. I mean maybe he's spending too much time/money on his hobby, which is potentially a legit relationship issue, but he was also at a pre-arranged event where a) he'd made a time commitment of several hours and b) he was doing something that wasn't terribly conducive to being on the phone. In this case it was Magic: the Gathering, but there are lots of other hobbies and events that have similar time commitments and practical restrictions on phone access. Expecting him to drop everything for a non-emergency that he would either be completely unable to resolve or that she should have trivially been able to resolve on her own isn't really a reasonable expectation and is predicated on the assumption that his time/money/hobby is less important than being immediately available to assuage her anxiety over a minor inconvenience. I mean at worst she'd be unable to cook something for dinner, so just order takeout or text him and ask him to pick up something on his way back.

Jenner posted:

It's kind of odd that she didn't know where a flashlight was. The first time I got trapped in a power outage during a bad storm I too freaked out a bit and I was also an idiot and completely unprepared. I called a friend and talked a bit before taking a nap. Afterwards I bought a few flashlights and candles and made sure I knew were they were.

quote:

My son and his wife have been together 15 years and had their first child 6 months ago. Since the baby was born he has expressed a great deal of anger and resentment towards me for things that happened 14 years ago when his father and I divorced.

He claims we ruined his life and doesn't want any further contact with either of us. I was shocked, while we made some mistakes, in the end we raised two well educated, self supporting, and well-liked kids.

I met with a professional counselor who offered to see us together. My son will not answer snail mail, phone calls, emails, or texts and did not come to the extended family Thanksgiving get-together.

I'm wondering if he is suffering from depression (his wife seems extremely anxious, too) and how I can help him or help him get help.
TL;DR: son disowns mother after birth of first child.

quote:

His father was doing crystal meth with him and his girl friend. He had also "disappeared" $38,000 from our joint bank account. I figured he was not just using but dealing. When I found out I left and I told my son I would rather see him in jail then addicted to meth. I started asking around to see what ex-H's adult friends knew and was planning to use it against x-H in court. x-H asked to go through mediation instead and we split things up without a court hearing. No body got into any legal trouble.

Pussy Quipped posted:

"and I have no car and nothing is in walking distance to the apartment. "
"would it be alright if he came home since I was sitting in darkness,"

Apparently she doesn't know how to light candles or find a flashlight either.

zakharov posted:

Maybe I'm a big softie but fears aren't always rational and if my fiancee called me and begged me to come home because she was freaked out I'd go

zakharov posted:

Maybe I'm a big softie but fears aren't always rational and if my fiancee called me and begged me to come home because she was freaked out I'd go

bone app the teeth posted:

Adults who can't handle the power going out probably can't handle any other activity without help either.

bone app the teeth posted:

Adults who can't handle the power going out probably can't handle any other activity without help either.

Facebook Aunt posted:

Exactly. That's why you need to teach your kids to handle this stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpURRW80LnM

Trevor Hale posted:

I feel like we're skipping over the "friends have left their wives in the hospital to go play Magic" line. While yes, this was not an emergency, I can see how her mind started racing about what-ifs and realizing he won't give a gently caress.

zakharov posted:

Maybe I'm a big softie but fears aren't always rational and if my fiancee called me and begged me to come home because she was freaked out I'd go

Trevor Hale posted:

I feel like we're skipping over the "friends have left their wives in the hospital to go play Magic" line. While yes, this was not an emergency, I can see how her mind started racing about what-ifs and realizing he won't give a gently caress.

quote:

My wife is in the hospital for a few days because of health issues, so after a few hours of visiting with her on day 2 of 4 I hosed off to my buddys to play Magic

quote:

My Boyfriend [26 M] and I [30F] have been together 6 years and he has admitted to sleeping with his Gay Best friend [28M] last month. He says it isn't cheating and I'm over reacting. Am I?

I have been friends with this guy friend, who happens to be gay, since we were in High School, long before I met my current boyfriend, who I'll call Jay. He was considered a really close friend and we'd continued to stay in touch now for over 15 years. He and Jay actually met through me and they became really good friends over the last 4-5 years. I've known Jay for 7 years and we've been dating for 6.

Over the last year I discovered that my friend had developed strong feelings for Jay and lamented how lucky I was to have a guy like him-- "too bad he's straight." he'd tell me.

I tell Jay what our friend has told me and tell him to be careful about the kind of joking he does around him. Jay reassures me that there is nothing to worry about because he is isn't into guys, and he's used to his friend's come-ons and finds them flattering. I tell Jay that I am uncomfortable with the flirting and it isn't fair to our friend either because he is really infatuated with Jay and has started buying him expensive gifts-- at one point even paying off an $8,000 car loan that Jay would have otherwise defaulted on. The friend then beings sending him sexually suggestive messages via text.

This causes a lot of arguing in our relationship. I tell Jay that I am uncomfortable with him leading our friend on, because that's how I feel. Jay starts accusing me of sleeping around on him with one of my own close male friends! I can't believe it! The jealousy only gets worse to the point that I was berated and accused of sleeping around on him after I decided to stay at my brother's house (An hour and a half away) for New Year's Eve rather than drive home after our Hockey Game let out. (I didn't want to deal with drunk drivers on the holiday and felt safer to stay put)

Then last month he and Jay, went out of town for a weekend convention with his best friend. It comes out that Jay and our gay friend had sexual relations and they intentionally got a room with a single bed for the purpose for 'cuddling.' It was our gay friend that called me in tears and told me everything while apologizing profusely. "He's a great guy, I got him drunk so he'd agree and all he wanted was to come home to you, I'm sorry."

When I asked Jay about it he got very very angry, defensive and at first would not admit to anything. Later he fessed up to everything and confirmed what out friend had told me-- he's not gay, but wanted to experiment. "I learned that I'm most defiantly NOT gay. It only confirmed that I am most definitely into women."

When I asked him if he was sorry for cheating on me he said, "It wasn't cheating because it was with another guy. If you slept with another girl, I wouldn't be mad, I'd pull up a chair! I have nothing to apologize for." He then suggested that if I wanted to get even I had his PERMISSION to go sleep with another girl!

I believe that because he did not openly discuss this with me, had sexual relations with this friend and tried to hide IS in fact cheating and Jay is just in denial. I don't believe gender has anything to do with it. I think it's even worse because he KNEW our friend had romantic feelings for him!

I'm deeply hurt by this because a lack of an apology from my boyfriend has destroyed the future of our relationship because I feel he can't/won't take accountability for his actions. I feel like this relationship is damaged with my friend too because, regardless of his honesty, he knew what he was doing. I'm deeply in love with Jay but I can't forgive someone if they feel they've done nothing wrong. He gets VERY angry when I try to discuss it with him. I personally am unable to have sex with someone I don't love, so maybe I have a biased perspective?

tl;dr: My long term boyfriend slept with his gay best friend, unbeknownst to me, knowing his friend had romantic feelings for him. His friend spilled the beans to me after feeling guilty. Boyfriend says it isn't cheating if you sleep with someone of the same sex but aren't gay yourself. Is it cheating? Am I within my rights to be angry or should I just let it go?

quote:

Boyfriend says it isn't cheating if you sleep with someone of the same sex but aren't gay yourself.

quote:

He then suggested that if I wanted to get even I had his PERMISSION to go sleep with another girl!

Nazzadan posted:

That line could also easily be interpreted as

Context, which she is leaving out, is important.

Syndic Thrass posted:

It's cheating, and he's totally gay

Antivehicular posted:

"It's not really cheating, it was just an experiment -- oh, and we got a big single bed so we could cuddle." Was there also breakfast in bed and a luxurious whirlpool bath? Rose petals? Candles?

Gaunab posted:

Trevor Hale posted:

I think that is kind of poo poo though? Different strokes, I guess.

Nazzadan posted:

I love my girlfriend to death, but if she was in a planned hospital visit for multiple days, I'm not going to spend every minute that I'm not asleep or at work by her side.