Improbable Lobster posted:

Yeah, I thought he came clean because of a niggerstomper58 style breakdown

quote:

I'd run out of road. By the end I was advocating turning the US into Ron Paul's own Democratic Kampuchea and shilling for Hitler in his purely defensive war against the Jews, where do you go from that? I'd reached the Mohorovic discontinuity of my own insanity and I was in danger of undoing a lot of the goodwill people had towards me. I never wanted to be annoying or monotonous, I always wanted people to be enlivened either by disbelief or anger or pity or whatever else by the brand of lunacy I was touting. If I couldn't achieve that any more then I couldn't do what I wanted to.

Pick posted:

The Enhydra lutris poster was gold until the end. Another superb work from a superb writer.

"Furious oblong" still gets me .

my dad posted:

Avshalom's posting is still gold, so I see no problem with that.

Oxxidation posted:

Weren't they an Avshalom alt?

Oxxidation posted:

Weren't they an Avshalom alt?

greatn posted:

I don't know how many of you may watch Pokemon XYZ, but this season Ash Ketchum made it to the final round of the championships for the first time in the series 20 year history.

He had the strongest team hr had ever had, and was really showing himself to be a much more experienced and wizened trainer than ever before. He even brought a pseudo legendary, Goodra, and developed a unique ability to bond with his Greninja never before seen in the series or games, making it extraordinarily powerful.

He made it to the last Pokemon vs Alain, who had a mega Charizard, meaning it's most powerful attacks has type disadvantage against Ash-Greninja. Even though the mega Charizard had thunder punch, Ash-Greninja deflected or dodged it every time. It came down to one giant water shuriken vs one giant blast burn.

Mega Charizard won the day. It was Ash's most grueling defeat in the series, but he took it in stride.

What I'm saying here though, and my main point, is Bernie would have won.

Oxxidation posted:

I just skimmed the posts where he came clean and it wasn't anything that dramatic:


Basically, unlike every lovely troll that ever lived, he knew how to quit at a high point.

Jeff Sichoe posted:

when i was a kid drinking beers I peed in a beer bottle but obviously the human bladder is bigger than 330ml so the bottle overflowed and I couldn't stop peeing so I jammed my penis-head against the top of the bottle but it was more like putting your finger on the end of a hose and piss just sprayed loving everywhere

Super Waffle posted:

Antivehicular posted:

Constipation Girlfriend needs to meet Math Girlfriend so they can work it out together with a pencil.

Oxxidation posted:

Weren't they an Avshalom alt?

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Wait, what? Way to go, Oxx, why don't you tell me Santa isn't real next .

Puppy Galaxy posted:

This wasn't funny, but there was a goon posting about his wife's recovery from a traumatic brain injury in GBS earlier this year. He ended up locking the thread after a couple months. Anyone hear from him lately?

Atlas Hugged posted:

I was out drinking with some of the other Bangkok goons as we are wont to do when one of the 140 teachers we had on staff recognized me and decided to hangout. I could barely even remember who this guy was but he got it into his head that one of my goon friends needed to get laid immediately. So he got his phone out and called in one of the girls he knows. He told this goon not to worry, that he'd pay for everything, and to just enjoy himself. My friend panicked, and being a goon, had no idea how to get himself out of the situation.

So he did the first most logical thing that popped into his brain.

He punched me in the face.

The girl at this point wanted nothing to do with the crazy violent farang and the teacher figuring he was paying for it anyway took the girl and left.

Puppy Galaxy posted:

This wasn't funny, but there was a goon posting about his wife's recovery from a traumatic brain injury in GBS earlier this year. He ended up locking the thread after a couple months. Anyone hear from him lately?

Vintersorg posted:

you had 2 triples

what the gently caress did you think would happen

e: you ate basically 6 cheeseburgers wtf

Oxxidation posted:

Weren't they an Avshalom alt?

Rough Lobster posted:

Anyone have the very surreal quote about Obama growing tall and striding impassively across the land, and the Muslims live on the moon?

SuperMechaGodzilla posted:

12:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished. Check for yourself if you don't believe me. Where have they gone to?

There is speculation, of course. Scientists mention a cosmic storm that passed the Earth on January 20. A man says they are all in caves. Certain groups lament a faulty Rapture. A woman says he has taken their power and absorbed it into himself. She means Barack Obama. I doubt it, but he does seem somehow taller. The ground rumbles at times. The breaking news says WASHINGTON DC, with red concentric circles. I'm uneasy, but what can we do? Terror is defeated and if Obama were a Muslim, he'd be just as gone as them. There's no cause for alarm.

Within months, Barack Obama has declared a war on vague unease. It's a good idea, because frankly we could all use some peace of mind. Approval rating is higher than ever now that the Muslims had left, but I don't think we are happy yet. His eyes are shining sometimes, as a deer's eyes shine in a flashlight beam. Small fissures criss-cross the pavement. Trees are swaying, but the breeze is gone. Something is changing in our world.

Aeroplanes don't exist anymore. Scientists explain that the density of the air is too low to support their wings. Then how do we breathe?! We should have died by now, but I think we are evolving. Our bodies haven't changed, but the atmosphere..

One man says it was the rapture after all, and we have since entered the Kingdom of God. Barack is now the size of an oak tree. He sleeps outside since the rains have ceased, and his skin is thick to bullets. Now he wanders through he countryside impassively. He ignores a rural photo-op. He studies a leaf for twenty days. Only a fool would call this Heaven.

Satellites fall to earth like rain used to. No friction burns them away, so we trudge past countless flecks of solar panel and ribbons of golden cloth. It's a silent car crash every few hours, though cars themselves no longer run. No oxygen remains to ignite their fuel. Obama strides across the landscape, taller than the Freedom Tower. We've given up on assassination; all men are immortal now, and guns no longer fire.

I'm starting to wish the Muslims were back.

We found them with a telescope. Images of a colony on the right side of the moon. See the parts that jut from the lower right? I think they're mosques. Soon they are visible to the naked eye, but how? Their cities are enormous. We watch them as they live and die. They have our former atmosphere; the moon is fringed with blue. "Look at how they wield their guns," writes a man. "I always said he'd take our guns away." They eat and sleep like we once did, building worthless ziggurats. We have everything we wanted, but oh how we envy their strife!

It's long been clear that Obama brought this uncomfortable perfection upon us, but I can't bring myself to blame him for it. He's reminded us all of how our lives had been discarded out of fear. I know now why he grows each day. In time, when we are ready he will reach out into space. He will raise us up in his great hand, to this new Earth that gleams like a frozen star. And if Obama does not carry us, we can climb...

Powaqoatse posted:

It's a SuperMechaGodzilla quote


Link to a previous quote thread cause it's all I can find:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3662147&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post434511415

Chichevache posted:

Man, I forgot how beautiful that post is. And eerie.

ommega posted:

phasmid posted:

Ahh, yes. Star Trek politik. Conveniently it comes right about the time somebody would have to furnish proof that the Russians hacked us. "Uhhh, quick! Make a Trek reference! HaHAHA" In truth, that was the only way this thread really could have ended. Not with a bang, but with a sperg.

Stay true to form, nerds. This thread is about liberal tears. If you must talk about Star Trek, why don't you cry about how Mr. Worf only got a ship for three minutes in a bad movie and it got blown up?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Baron von Eevl posted:

This is what 40s are for. Plus everyone expects malt liquor to taste awful and people are usually pretty hosed up at that point anyway, so you can easily trick someone you don't like into drinking it.

Powaqoatse posted:

It's fantastic, that fatalist narration of a world going how they wanted but also not at all how they wanted.

Powaqoatse posted:

It's a SuperMechaGodzilla quote


Link to a previous quote thread cause it's all I can find:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3662147&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post434511415

Bibliotechno Music posted:

When was this discovered/revealed? Anybody got a link?


(Or just PYF Otterman quotes, as I can never Get Enough).

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

If Edward had any balls at all, he've reminded the Church just why they're independant from the Pope.

Rutibex posted:

That wouldn't work. Any time a royal get uppity the prime minister summons them into his office, and brings out the preserved head of Charles I to show them.

Bobby Digital posted:

The last prime minister used it in a very different way.

pog boyfriend posted:

i would be happier if TCC was closed down, the idea that there is a forum that you can watch people slowly decline in life quality until they end up addicted to hard drugs is really disturbing to me and hurts my soul. people say there is funny stuff that comes out of it but that is very rare compared to how usually it is just filled with drawn out sad stories. i have lost a few friends to addictions so i am biased in this matter but i would just figure i weigh in. no particular care towards the goon doctor, to me as long as people respect the rule that people there are not actual doctors giving professional medical advice it seems alright if a little weird

drilldo squirt posted:

I have to agree, tcc is more horrifying than funny.

pog boyfriend posted:

gently caress off. now that drilldo squirt agrees with me i think the drug forum is good. keep it around. gently caress

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

Puppy Galaxy posted:

Grandmother of Five posted:

i absolutely love when bad rear end internet guys does the; you must be real fun at parties or in real life putdown. i imagine that a whole lot of goons must have some kind of idea of real life being a place where everyone greets each other by joyfully shooting automaatic rifles in the air, and a party being a place where people bring their automatic rifules in order to talk about how disgusting fat people are and laugh it up about the newest mt. everestt death toll numbers

Hazo posted:

I need the quote that was a savage response to that dumbass Normandy landing "Male Privilege" image macro shared by MRA dipshits. It basically summarizes World War II and how men were involved at every point, and it ends with something like, "basically, what I'm trying to say is it's all women's fault."

quote:

Hey, I remember that. That was when those men voted for that man who appointed those men who killed those men (because our men did bad things to their men because their men killed our men and other men because someone shot a man) and the men seized the land owned by other men (wash and repeat) and the men who were buds with our men were like "help" and the men were like "no" and these other eastern men killed our men so our men killed their men and also those original men were dicks so our men killed their men and like a loving shitload of Russian men died too killing those men and the men in charge were voted for by the men who could vote and the men supported the men killing because those other men had to die and so lots of men died for those other men until the bad men were dead and the men in charge split up the land of the bad men for the personal and political gain of the winning men and men in suits were locked in a secret war with the other men who won who were once allies and, well, I guess what I'm getting at is that it's all women's fault.

Abugadu posted: