/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Actually, yeah, "go sit in this loving restaurant and get stood up" is a humiliation instruction, come to think of it. If they were any brighter they could figure out how to integrate their kinks into the relationship.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 19:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 16:42

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Remember the poster whose sister moved in, and OP was worried about her deadbeat boyfriend squatting? I'd post it myself but not sure where it is in this very thread and the original is deleted.

Well.....

quote:

My sister's [22 F] BF [25 M] now apparently lives with us, but doesn't chip in for anything

My sister has this boyfriend who has pretty much moved in with me and my two roommates (1 being my sister and other roommate is a mutual friend). I tried bringing up with my sister a few months ago how I was uncomfortable with her BF being at the house EVERY SINGLE DAY, but she completely flew off the handle, so I knew it was a losing battle. So then I told her I was uncomfortable with him being there when she wasn't there, but she completely disregarded what I had to say.
Anyways, it's been a few months now since we have had this conversation, and things on my end have only gotten worse. Since the boyfriend has pretty much moved in, all of our bills have definitely increased, especially the water bill. We now have 1 extra person in the house who showers, plus the BF has a factory job where he washes his clothes every single day. He has not replaced any of the laundry detergent that he has used, or even offered to chip in for the water bill.
Not too mention all of the food that he eats. Every morning he gets up and drinks coffee- which he also never replaces. Actually, one time he bought replacement coffee, but he hid it because my sister said it was "theirs". Which was super petty, and pissed me off for a couple of days. A stupid thing to get mad about.
Last night I was talking to my roommate whose room is downstairs. I told her I was getting to the point of exploding, especially since I felt like I couldn't say anything, and when I do, it's not heard. My roommate told me she goes back to her home town so she doesn't have to deal with him.
How can I approach my sister and be heard this time? I do not want to be paying utilities and groceries for another person, and I do not think he should be allowed to free load off of us.
tl;dr: Sister's boyfriend lives rent and utility free at our house

# ? Dec 14, 2016 19:33

Agentdark: Dec 30, 2007; Mom says I'm the best painter she's ever seen. Jealous much?

I knew someone who that happened to. Guys girlfriend moved in without either of them telling the roommate. The couple didnt offer to change the share of the bills. So the guy just moved when the lease was up a month later.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 20:36

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Tiny Deer posted:

I admire his sister's inhuman levels of restraint in not ripping his dick off with her bare hands and throwing it into the ocean.

Well I mean they agreed to be childfree, I imagine she doesn't want to birth Aphrodite.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 20:50

stump collector: May 28, 2007

quote:

The majority of you seem to be totally cool with the idea of brother-sister incest.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 20:52

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

stump collector posted:

The majority of you seem to be totally cool with the idea of brother-sister incest.

Yeah, I can't believe no one brought this up, reddit is down with the incest apparently.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 21:11

Presteign: Aug 8, 2004; consent is overrated

Just posting title because I laughed

quote:

I[26 M] this subreddit scares me/ need general advice

# ? Dec 14, 2016 21:12

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

MF_James posted:

Yeah, I can't believe no one brought this up, reddit is down with the incest apparently.

Listen, if you think about it logically, without any dumb predispositions that society has instilled in you, incest is still pretty loving gross.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 21:17

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

Agentdark posted:

I knew someone who that happened to. Guys girlfriend moved in without either of them telling the roommate. The couple didnt offer to change the share of the bills. So the guy just moved when the lease was up a month later.

I did this

But I guess the joke's on me since I'm divorced now.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 21:47

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

[Non-Romantic] Fiance and I [24 M/F] are getting married. My Aunt [50F] got drunk and sent my mother [55F] horrible messages. My dad [56M] doesn't want her invited to the wedding.

As the title says, I [24/F] am about to get married to the guy of my dreams [24/M]. Over Thanksgiving weekend, he and I went and visited my father's side of the family. We discussed with the whole family our wedding details, our plans to send out Save the Dates that week, and told everyone to expect one in the mail soon.

To introduce our characters: Stacy [50F] is my father's sister. She has a history of being crazy, causing a lot of family drama. About once a year she gets drunk and disowns everyone in the family.

Anna [24F] is Stacy's daughter, my cousin. She and I grew up together and were extremely close until she married a marine and became ultra-conservative and moved across the country. We were still on great terms. She is my parents' goddaughter. She inherited the crazy gene.

My mother [55F] taught kindergarten for 25 years and is now a hospice nurse. She is the sweetest lady, down to earth and accepting, and has never said a bad word about anyone in her life. She grew up in a military household, moving every year with her father who was in the army (this is significant).

During the gathering, Anna facetimed her brother and the phone was passed around. Everyone had a chance to talk to her, including Fiance and me. I also had a long discussion with Stacy about requesting off of work for the weekend of my wedding. The evening ended, and we drove home.

The next day, my father called to tell me that night, Anna's mother, Stacy, got drunk and began sending my mother horrible Facebook messages. She said that Anna was very upset my mother talked to her at Thanksgiving because my mother had told Anna that she is a "horrible military wife" at another cousin's wedding over a year ago. My father didn't want to repeat the other things that Stacy said, but said that my mother was devastated, shocked, and confused. She vaguely remembers talking to Anna about being a military wife due to their shared experience, but it wasn't a memorable conversation and there was nothing hostile about it.

Stacy sobered up in the morning but refused to apologize, standing by what she said and claiming she was defending her child.

My parents took some time to cool down, and then my father messaged Anna on Facebook saying that they love her and this is a misunderstanding; my mother grew up in a military household and understands how difficult it is to be in Anna's position. They are her godparents and want to resolve this issue. He asked her to clarify what she believed had happened and what she had told her mother. It's been a week and he hasn't received a response.

My family has always been extremely close, and my parents (especially my father) have time and again drilled into my head to never ever cut off family ties, to always try to make peace and work past differences in beliefs, etc. My parents are the no-drama super-chill family members. It came as a huge shock to me when he asked me to refrain from inviting Anna and Stacy until they apologize to my mother.

I talked to my fiance about the situation, and he agrees with my father, and believes that even if they do apologize he would prefer to cut them out altogether because he doesn't want toxic people like that in our life. I should add that both Stacy and Anna are very conservative and have posted things on Facebook before that target my fiance's demographic. They have always been very nice to him, but we believe they think he is "one of the good ones" because he makes awesome baklava.

I agree that I wouldn't want them at the wedding unless the situation is resolved. However, I'm not sure how to bring this up. They were expecting Save the Dates in the mail a week ago, and I haven't sent theirs out. They will be figuring this out soon because I am absolutely inviting Stacy's other children, Anna's brothers [19/27 MM], who do not live at home and are not crazy and dramatic like the women in their family.

I have not personally communicated with either Stacy or Anna since Thanksgiving when I had great conversations with both. I'm guessing they don't realize I know what's going on, since I don't see my parents much and am extremely busy (80 hour work week and full time school). I would prefer not to cut ties permanently if possible because we will be seeing them at all the holidays and I don't want to cause my grandpa distress (he is already dealing with another crazy and hostile daughter along with being the caretaker for his mid-stage dementia wife).

TL;DR: Aunt and cousin are saying crazy, horrible, untrue things about my mother. Dad doesn't want us to invite them to the wedding unless they apologize. Doesn't look like an apology will happen.

Do I let them know they're not invited or just let them figure it out?

Help please, I've never had family drama before!

UPDATE

My dad heard back from Anna. She completely stands behind everything her mother said, and has now added more to it, claiming that we have never supported her marriage because her husband is in the military (???). She also claims that I was a part of this "harassment" at the family wedding way back when, and that she is being the bigger person for forgiving us and moving on (if this is moving on, I don't want to see what the alternative is). She also claims that my mother and I, along with another cousin, told her to "rot in Hell" for her political beliefs. I have literally never talked politics with her, and I don't post anything political on Facebook. She then ended with saying that she's "taking the higher road" and not letting this situation interrupt family relationships and events like my "big day." Which she apparently thinks she's still attending.

Also, I really appreciated the feedback on the whole low-key racism thing. You guys are right, I haven't been giving that part of the story enough weight. While to me it's just "Oh y'know, crazy family," to my fiance and my future children it's a lot more.

Guess who gets to cancel a few invitations and hire a bouncer instead? Yay!

# ? Dec 14, 2016 21:54

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

80 hour work week and full time school schedule. Yeah, that seems legit.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:05

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Christmas is a great time for stories about lovely family members.

quote:

My [38F] husband [36M] works in homicide. My sister [34F] called him Friday night because cops put a stop to her party. She's gotten us uninvited to Christmas because He did nothing to help her

My husband is amazing at his job. He is really well liked and a good cop. He does not make exceptions for family or friends. He works as a homicide detective and he's working right now.

This past Friday he had the night off, we hired a babysitter and we went out for our date night. My sister kept calling me and I kept ignoring it because it was one of the few times we had to each other. Between the kids, my work and his work we hardly get one on one time anymore. He said you better answer to see if everything is is OK. She wanted to talk to him.

She was drunk. She started screaming that the police were arresting some of her friends, how this was a party for her stupid friends son's 21st birthday party from work. She's friends with a 50 year old from he work, she apparently invited her to her son's 21st. She walked to a cop and apparently shoved the phone in her face. She yelled "My brother in law is a homicide detective, he's you're boss and I'm going to get you fired." I could see how embarrassed he was. Then I assume there was a police officer that started to talk to him on the phone. He gave his details or whatever and just told the cop she did a good job because apparently the cop was still new.

The rest of the family has disinvited us to Christmas because he did nothing. They were badmouthing him on how could he have just sat there while they arrested her. Why did he not go down and get them to back off from her party. They told me we are not welcome with the family for Christmas. She herself was not in trouble until she went up and started screaming like a lunatic to one of the cops.

What do we do in regards to the family?

tl;dr: Family disinvited my children, husband and I to Christmas because my husband did nothing to help my sister.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:07

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Leon Einstein posted:

80 hour work week and full time school schedule. Yeah, that seems legit.

There is almost no one on the face of the planet who works an actual 80 hour week.

http://www.theatlantic.com/business...robably/263825/

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:19

insufficient guns: May 4, 2009; personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E

Alright which one of you is this

My [23F] boyfriend [26M] thinks I'm embarrassed of him, and he's kind of right.

quote:

My boyfriend of ten months is upset that I won't introduce him to my friends. There are a couple reasons for this.

First, I don't have a defined "friend group". Most of my friends live in different states or countries. The closest ones are an hour away, and they're very busy - med school, weekend shifts, etc. My point is that seeing my friends is precious one-on-one time. The only group events I attend are my ex's friends' reunions. They invite me, but they're not my friends. So, in general, my SOs don't meet my friends.

Because meeting them is super important to my boyfriend, I've realized I am kind of embarrassed by him. I thought he was cute and fun when I met him, but over the last 10 months he got comfortable and gained ~50 pounds. It's not a medical condition, it's a bad diet of no exercise and constant fast food. He gets too tired to even have missionary sex. He went shopping recently for a rave, and now wears his rave clothes constantly because they're the only things that actually fit him. These are things like black shorts with neon stripes. A friend of his laughed when she saw him and snap chatted him "looking like a gangster". He also picked up smoking behind my back, and grew from a social smoker to several a day. He smells and I hate it.

Overall, if I met him now I would never consider dating him. But I'm in love with him, I just don't want to introduce him until he's back to his early-relationship self. Am I being awful? On his side, he has a very defined friend group that all live in the same city and throw group events constantly. It's been easy for him to include me, and we hang out with them often.

tl;dr: I haven't introduced my boyfriend to my friends, partly because I rarely see them and partly because he's become really unattractive.

She just posted an update that's not very interesting and the tl;dr is that she tried to put them both on a diet, she lost a bunch of weight, he didn't. He bought new clothes, he switched to vaping from smoking and keeps getting jobs and quitting them. It's all okay though because he bought new clothes I guess

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:27

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

There is almost no one on the face of the planet who works an actual 80 hour week.

I worked 73-80 hours for 3 months and its so loving awful I just assume that anyone who says they regularly work close to those number of hours is a terrible person either because they think thats a thing they should and can do or because they are a liar of the highest order.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:28

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

There is almost no one on the face of the planet who works an actual 80 hour week.

http://www.theatlantic.com/business...robably/263825/

I know. I worked 65 for a while and would've killed myself at 80.

She also went to school full time and presumably did her coursework.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:28

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

There is almost no one on the face of the planet who works an actual 80 hour week.

http://www.theatlantic.com/business...robably/263825/

it's possible if you work two or more jobs almost full time. When I was younger I did a good 70+ hours a week with two jobs, a monday - friday 9-5 then like a 6pm - 10 / 11pm in the evenings and some hours on saturdays and sundays as well.

e/ I was cycling between the jobs and also had no time to spend the money I was earning. Was pretty good all in all.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:32

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

I did two 70 hour weeks in retail because one company told me they would give me a bad reference if I left for my new job without two weeks' notice.

I thought it would be a lot more manageable than it was.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:35

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

My boyfriend (m31) is a nihilist and I (f23) can't understand it.

quote:

My boyfriend and I just recently started dating (about 2 months ago) and I knew straight into the relationship he was a nihilist. However, I had no idea that once I started developing stronger feelings for him how much the 'funny' memes he'd send and comments he'd make about life being meaningless would effect me. I agree with him on certain things, however, I'm a teacher and have to lean on the side of optimism for a living; If I see someone seemingly depressed or down, it's just instinct to offer advice and listen. He is depressed, but assures me that his views/ feelings on life have no direct correlation on our relationship or how I make him feel, but I can't help but feel a little hurt that he doesn't see any point in living (ie me).

Nihilists, or those who have had the same issue, am I being too sensitive? I think I am, but I'm just not sure how to cope with this. Any advice or tips from personal experience would be greatly appreciated. I really like him, but I don't want to worry about him or make him upset (by telling him I'm worried) if really there's not anything to worry about.

Tl;dr: boyfriend's a nihilist and I'm not; advice on how to cope/ share similar experiences please.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I know someone who did, and it involved sleeping at night at his workplace and whatnot. It made him completely miserable and I think he made it about a year in that position, which on its own is absurd.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:36

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My boyfriend (m31) is a nihilist and I (f23) can't understand it.

This is one of those posts where I feel bad about myself that this idiot has managed to find a relationship and I haven't.

:v:

"I don't care about anything or anyone"
:swoon:

"Wanna date me?"
:v:

"Not really but I will"
:swoon:

and again with the age difference.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:38

Time: Aug 1, 2011; It Was All A Dream

Barudak posted:

I worked 73-80 hours for 3 months and its so loving awful I just assume that anyone who says they regularly work close to those number of hours is a terrible person either because they think thats a thing they should and can do or because they are a liar of the highest order.

I worked 80+ hours a week for a little more than two years because it basically guaranteed me to be set for life in terms of career opportunities. It was pretty terrible but because of the way my week typically was loaded I got to have a social life. I was just really, really tired

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:39

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Eh depression is a thing, if anything the girl is being a bit selfish by trying to make it all about her.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:40

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

WampaLord posted:

This is one of those posts where I feel bad about myself that this idiot has managed to find a relationship and I haven't.

"I don't care about anything or anyone"
"Wanna date me?"
"Not really but I will"

and again with the age difference.

I mean he is depressed-

quote:

He is depressed. He's had depression for a long time. He also subscribes to nihilism though, and has stopped seeing his therapist since we started dating. He just sees no point in anything and feels stuck in his life. He thinks that the only way for things to get better is if we switch to a communist system and take down the bourgeoisie/capitalism. He's so serious about all that.

but it's still sort of funny

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:40

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

WampaLord posted:

This is one of those posts where I feel bad about myself that this idiot has managed to find a relationship and I haven't.

Just go on a dozen terrible OKCupid dates and you'll find someone. It's ridiculously hard to find someone to date without screening out everyone who is already in a relationship.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:41

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I mean he is depressed-
but it's still sort of funny

He is right.

I like this dude.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:42

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My boyfriend (m31) is a nihilist and I (f23) can't understand it.

Nice marmot.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:43

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

another candidate for coming and posting here on SA

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:43

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

There is almost no one on the face of the planet who works an actual 80 hour week.

http://www.theatlantic.com/business...robably/263825/

corporate lawyers and city bankers call this a slow week but they're not really "people" per se

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:44

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

another candidate for coming and posting here on SA

Which one? The depressed dude or the self centered girl?

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:45

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Mameluke posted:

It's Nanking, 1944. You're spreadeagled over a bed of growing young bamboo, but the greatest torture is the young Japanese officer who keeps sending unescorted Settlers off to where you just saw a Barbarian two turns ago.

I don't know why but this has me crying with laughter.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:51

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My boyfriend (m31) is a nihilist and I (f23) can't understand it.

nihilism isn't the same thing as depression. this guy had clinical depression and is using half baked philosophy to rationalize why he should sit on his rear end and do nothing to improve himself. what a catch. at least people who sit around and smoke weed all day have a goal in mind

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:52

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Just go on a dozen terrible OKCupid dates and you'll find someone.

No, I get that, but do you think this dude did that? He somehow just fell rear end backwards into a relationship with seemingly little to no effort on his part given that he's a depressed nihilist.

I've had depression too and no one offered to date me then.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:53

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

corporate lawyers and city bankers call this a slow week but they're not really "people" per se

Yeah but for the most part people are overestimating how much they work by a lot.

Probably because they're exhausted and can't do math.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:53

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

CharlestheHammer posted:

Which one? The depressed dude or the self centered girl?

The nihilist communist - he's perfect.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:53

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My boyfriend (m31) is a nihilist and I (f23) can't understand it.

this isn't actually that hard to understand

http://english.bouletcorp.com/2012/02/01/darkness/

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:57

Time: Aug 1, 2011; It Was All A Dream

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Yeah but for the most part people are overestimating how much they work by a lot.

Probably because they're exhausted and can't do math.

Yeah. In my industry literally everyone worked a legitimate 80+ hour week that would occasionally stretch into something like 100 hours of legit work, not lunch and poo poo. Even still, everybody exaggerated their hours. Like, you don't need to exaggerate it people. We all know this industry is full of sadists. Don't go around saying you average 100+ weekly to the interns you liar.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 22:59

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Mameluke posted:

It's Nanking, 1944. You're spreadeagled over a bed of growing young bamboo, but the greatest torture is the young Japanese officer who keeps sending unescorted Settlers off to where you just saw a Barbarian two turns ago.

After a week, your perspective changes. You tell the young officer in broken Japanese that you admire his reckless courage and the turns it sometimes saves him.

He smiles and nods politely and closes the laptop without a word and does not return until the next day. On the next day, he proceeds to play a new game, Sim City. You watch him build a prosperous little city until with stunned horror, you watch him defund transportation entirely. Your howls of torment and sobs for mercy fall on deaf ears.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 23:08

Ignis: Mar 31, 2011; I take it you don't want my autograph, then.

New update on the brocest girl

The plot thickens!

# ? Dec 14, 2016 23:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 16:42

Khorne: May 1, 2002

I don't see any nihilism in her post. Just a depressed person. Nihilism has nothing to do with optimism or pessimism.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 23:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »