well why not posted:

Perhaps there was a babyswitch at the hospital, and there's a very cold, quiet, logic baby out there scaring the poo poo out of some joyous parents.

Quote-Unquote posted:

Babytron never shits itself because making GBS threads itself would cause discomfort. This is irrational behaviour. Babytron shall time making GBS threads to only occur when parent-unit checks diaper, thus minimising poo poo discomfort time. Beep boop, I am babytron.

well why not posted:

I'd love to here the excised list of caveats around "perfect". I'm guessing it involves picking her clothes and some very serious opinions about her friends and co-workers.

quote:

I feel badly because he gets frustrated when he finds out I go above my calorie goal. When I reach my goal, he treats me like a princess and is so proud of me. He loves to see a change when I weigh in, I'm really good about sharing that with him.

I haven't spoken to a GP yet, I recently moved to a new city and haven't found a doctor yet. I'm somewhat isolated and care a lot about his opinion... he's not a monster, he just has an image in his mind and I feel worthless when I don't work to meet it.

I think it's because he likes pro sports and follows cheerleaders. Most of those girls are 100-125lb. He's not dumb and knows I'm taller so he has this magic 130lb in his head. I mean, I can probably get down to that weight. I want to be sexy for him and I want to be healthy but there's this nagging voice in my head that says it's too low.

He just gets frustrated because he thinks I can be more strict and meet our goals. I feel badly when I screw up and overeat because I have numbers to stick to.

quote:

I [30m] have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after GF [25f] has been in there...

Hi reddit, I'm using a throwaway today because I'm a regular redditor and so is my SO. This is pretty awkward so please refrain from making any hurtful comments.

I need some advice about how to handle a delicate situation. Lately I have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after my girlfriend has been in it by herself. Sometimes I will be gone for a really short duration of time (having a shower etc.) and when I come back the room literally smells like poo poo and the windows are open - sometimes a faint smell, sometimes quite strong.

I've asked my girlfriend about this and she always denies any smell being there so I feel like maybe I'm imagining it? Another additional detail is that when I'm getting in the shower or towelling off (I have an onsuite), I can hear the buzzing noise that her vibrator makes. Honestly, I have no problem with her masturbating (it really gets me off when she does it during sex!) but I feel like it might have something to do with the smell.. she does not smell weird during sex though, so I'm honestly unsure what's going on here.

I don't know how to raise this with her, she is a really sweet and shy girl and I feel incredibly awkward about bringing it up.

tl;dr room smells bad after girlfriend has been in there, don't know how to raise it?

edit: Listen, everybody. The reason it's awkward is because my room smells like poop, sometimes for up to an hour afterwards. Not weed - I know what that smells like.

No-one here is really giving me advice about how to delicately handle the situation. Should I talk to her when the smell is there? Or should I wait until later?

quote:

[UPDATE] I [30m] have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after GF [25f] has been in there...

Sorry about the late update. To be honest, I actually didn't end up confronting my girlfriend about this because everything else was going really well and the smell situation had kind of stopped. We actually started having showers together as well.

About a week ago, I had a shower after work and yep, the poop smell was back. We had plans to go out for dinner with some friends so I didn't want to have an awkward conversation in case I upset her. I vacuumed the room the next day and I moved the bed, and there was actually a light (but discernible) brown stain under her side of the bed. WTF. I asked her to come over and pointed it out. She started shaking and went immediately to the bathroom and locked herself in. I stayed in the room until she was calm enough to come out.

She finally came out and said that I would probably break up with her because she's so ashamed. I just kept on pressing her to tell me.

SO...

It turns out she has a serious poop fetish. She doesn't want to do any stuff involving it with me, but only by herself. I think it's a masochistic thing.. but basically she waits until she needs to take a dump and then sticks her finger up her rear end while she masturbates. She was hesitant to tell me this part but she goes on to smell it while she flicks her bean. She likes the danger element of it which is why she does it while I'm in the shower! And the grossest part is that she wipes it under the bed!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do now.. I'm acting like we are okay and it's not an issue but it actually does gross me out and it's also rude how she just thought she could wipe her poo poo on my carpet.

She did apologise and seemed genuinely remorseful though.

I don't know to what extent will this affect our relationship if I just end up embracing it. Everything else is going really well.. however I've stopped thinking about her when I masturbate. Is this something I can get over?

Thoughts? :S

tl;dr - didn't confront gf, smell stopped and then started up again, turns out she likes to smell her poo poo while she masturbates and I'm not sure if I should still be with her

UPDATE 1: Girlfriend has gone home and she said she will leave me alone for a few days while I think it over. To be honest I'm still pissed off about the poo on the carpet. I want to ask her to pay to get it steamed. Right now I think I'm still in shock and not really thinking about being "understanding" of her kink. Maybe I will start seeing the situation more rationally in a few hours

extra row of teeth posted:

I'm [22M] in love with [24F]. She's dating my roomate [26M]. I did something and I need help.

i have a roomate, he's a chad but not a typical one, i think. he's crazy handsome but has had two long term relationships and his life isn't about loving girls. he's very smart and all that, and not a jerk. what i'm trying to say is that it's not easy to hate him and even being an incel (i'm 22, virgin, have an average dick in size but very very thin, and i'm short. my face is hosed up and i have acne scars. most girls have laughed at me, chads have bullied me. i came close to killing myself last year because of it all.) i still like him because he's a cool dude.

he started dating a girl this year. they started hooking up november last year, and january this year they got serious. i guess you know where this is going. i'm madly in love with her. she's just the coolest, prettiest girl i've ever met. she plays the guitar, is in a band that plays classic rock, she's a writer (not the sappy kind, the she can quote nietzsche at the drop of a hat kind) and is into gaming. she's perfect. i have never ever met a girl like her. her body is loving out of this world and i wish i could post a picture just to let you guys see it. she's delicate and gorgeous.

she talks to me. she treats me like a human being. we play street fighter together, she hangs out with me when chad is working and she's waiting for him. i don't think she's faking her friendship with me, but i know she'd never date me.

i love her.

yesterday, she and my roomate went on a trip. she hugged me goodbye and all, and she didn't smell like her perfume, she smelled like my roomate. that alone ruined my day and after they left, i was really sad. i'm not crazy, i know they're dating, but i don't need reminders.

anyway, i was really depressed and completely alone and i decided to go through my roomate's stuff just to see if i could find something of hers, something interesting, anything. i was out of my mind with sadness.

i snooped around his bedroom, i found some clothes of hers, a couple of panties, a journal dated 2014 with all her poetry from that time. i read some of it, and they're good, really loving good. i was ready to just give up and go to sleep, but for some reason i decided to check the drawer on his nightstand. that's when i found it. it was cd case with a cd inside and my roomate's initials together with hers were written on it with black marker. i knew what it was. i knew exactly what it was and i knew what i would find but i took it anyway and booted up my notebook.

of course it was a sex video. i knew it was, but i just had hope that it'd be something else. i should have stopped watching, i know.

i couldn't. they were laughing. he was setting up the camera and she was facing it, giggling. she was gorgeous. she was wearing a robe and that's it. i'd never seen her like that, she looked out of this world. he was wearing boxers and already had a boner.

she went down on him. i never saw him naked, his dick is huge, and she took it in, she gagged, but she was smiling at him. he was caressing her hair, he was sweet with her. that sort of killed me because i always pictured myself being sweet too. caressing her hair, being gentle. then they did everything else. she got on top of him, teased him, and he started loving her. his hands were everywhere, her arms were around his neck. this wasn't mindless gently caress, they were in love.

i got a boner and i'm ashamed to say i started jacking off. i was picturing myself with her, but near the end, he made her cum and she wrapped her legs around him and begged him to cum inside her. he reacted like it was something they always do, but he lowered his head, kissed her and told her he loved her. she said it back. i lost my erection and broke out crying right then and there. i jsut bawled my eyes out. i cried like a child, made myself sick, threw up. i'm crying thinking about it. i'm shaking.

this isn't fair. i would treat her nice. she would never have me, not with my thin dick or with my looks or anything else. she wouldn't have sex with me like that. i'd never make her cum like that.

why the gently caress is this happening? why can't i have her? why can't i be with her like that? i just want to be loved. it's not my fault i was born like this.

is there any way at all i can, maybe, try and go for it? tell her how i feel? i want that with her. i want her. please help me.

tl;dr: i love my roomate's girl, i did something but i still want her.

underage at the vape shop posted:

So her fetish is to play with poo poo while risking getting caught? And redditors are telling him to be accepting of it and her wiping poo poo on his carpet? What the gently caress?

Granted, I cant smell so I dont know how much you need to make a room reek of it but itd be a decent amount right? Thats beyond hosed.

extra row of teeth posted:

extra row of teeth posted:

i'm 22, virgin, have an average dick in size but very very thin, and i'm short. my face is hosed up and i have acne scars. most girls have laughed at me, chads have bullied me. i came close to killing myself last year because of it all.

Skratte posted:

Half the replies are like "hey man you should tell her to check out fetlife!" and then other people are replying to that bitching about how fetlife I guess banned scat content.

extra row of teeth posted:

I'm [22M] in love with [24F]. She's dating my roomate [26M]. I did something and I need help.

Skratte posted:

Half the replies are like "hey man you should tell her to check out fetlife!" and then other people are replying to that bitching about how fetlife I guess banned scat content.

underage at the vape shop posted:

Granted, I cant smell so I dont know how much you need to make a room reek of it but itd be a decent amount right? Thats beyond hosed.

quote:

r/femaleincels proves that women can only mimic the achievements of men. (self.Incels)

Men are trailblazers, builders and inventors. We are the only gender capable of actual genuine, original achievement. Just like how god created the universe and then made women as an afterthought, men build things, and then women try to copy them in their own shallow, pathetic way.
Where men make things, women ask, where is my share??? Where men set up civilizations, women come in a day late and a buck short trying to be part of it too. We male incels did the hard work battling the normies to create a space for our kind on reddit. Now along come women, exploiting our work and benefitting off us like parasites. Not a word of thanks from those cunts as usual.
They pretty much owe us pussy for helping them out but will they offer it to us? No.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Is it a full moon or something? I feel there has been a significant jump in insane stories.

Also wow...um. r/incel sure is something
As always, if this is bordering on not appropriate for this thread I will remove

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Is it a full moon or something? I feel there has been a significant jump in insane stories.

Also wow...um. r/incel sure is something
As always, if this is bordering on not appropriate for this thread I will remove

extra row of teeth posted:

I'm [22M] in love with [24F]. She's dating my roomate [26M]. I did something and I need help.

Virigoth posted:

A finger in the butt is ok. Wiping poo on the carpet is not ok. Just hit her on the nose with a newspaper and tell her bad girl and stick your finger in her butt while you're sexing afterwards.

Naerasa posted:

I love that this dude apparently managed to find the most passionate, heartfelt sex tape of all time. Like, he didn't just see them banging, he saw them unburden their souls to each other with their cum.

Naerasa posted:

I love that this dude apparently managed to find the most passionate, heartfelt sex tape of all time. Like, he didn't just see them banging, he saw them unburden their souls to each other with their cum.

extra row of teeth posted:

I'm [22M] in love with [24F]. She's dating my roomate [26M]. I did something and I need help.

i have a roomate, he's a chad but not a typical one, i think. he's crazy handsome but has had two long term relationships and his life isn't about loving girls. he's very smart and all that, and not a jerk. what i'm trying to say is that it's not easy to hate him and even being an incel (i'm 22, virgin, have an average dick in size but very very thin, and i'm short. my face is hosed up and i have acne scars. most girls have laughed at me, chads have bullied me. i came close to killing myself last year because of it all.) i still like him because he's a cool dude.

he started dating a girl this year. they started hooking up november last year, and january this year they got serious. i guess you know where this is going. i'm madly in love with her. she's just the coolest, prettiest girl i've ever met. she plays the guitar, is in a band that plays classic rock, she's a writer (not the sappy kind, the she can quote nietzsche at the drop of a hat kind) and is into gaming. she's perfect. i have never ever met a girl like her. her body is loving out of this world and i wish i could post a picture just to let you guys see it. she's delicate and gorgeous.

she talks to me. she treats me like a human being. we play street fighter together, she hangs out with me when chad is working and she's waiting for him. i don't think she's faking her friendship with me, but i know she'd never date me.

i love her.

yesterday, she and my roomate went on a trip. she hugged me goodbye and all, and she didn't smell like her perfume, she smelled like my roomate. that alone ruined my day and after they left, i was really sad. i'm not crazy, i know they're dating, but i don't need reminders.

anyway, i was really depressed and completely alone and i decided to go through my roomate's stuff just to see if i could find something of hers, something interesting, anything. i was out of my mind with sadness.

i snooped around his bedroom, i found some clothes of hers, a couple of panties, a journal dated 2014 with all her poetry from that time. i read some of it, and they're good, really loving good. i was ready to just give up and go to sleep, but for some reason i decided to check the drawer on his nightstand. that's when i found it. it was cd case with a cd inside and my roomate's initials together with hers were written on it with black marker. i knew what it was. i knew exactly what it was and i knew what i would find but i took it anyway and booted up my notebook.

of course it was a sex video. i knew it was, but i just had hope that it'd be something else. i should have stopped watching, i know.

i couldn't. they were laughing. he was setting up the camera and she was facing it, giggling. she was gorgeous. she was wearing a robe and that's it. i'd never seen her like that, she looked out of this world. he was wearing boxers and already had a boner.

she went down on him. i never saw him naked, his dick is huge, and she took it in, she gagged, but she was smiling at him. he was caressing her hair, he was sweet with her. that sort of killed me because i always pictured myself being sweet too. caressing her hair, being gentle. then they did everything else. she got on top of him, teased him, and he started loving her. his hands were everywhere, her arms were around his neck. this wasn't mindless gently caress, they were in love.

i got a boner and i'm ashamed to say i started jacking off. i was picturing myself with her, but near the end, he made her cum and she wrapped her legs around him and begged him to cum inside her. he reacted like it was something they always do, but he lowered his head, kissed her and told her he loved her. she said it back. i lost my erection and broke out crying right then and there. i jsut bawled my eyes out. i cried like a child, made myself sick, threw up. i'm crying thinking about it. i'm shaking.

this isn't fair. i would treat her nice. she would never have me, not with my thin dick or with my looks or anything else. she wouldn't have sex with me like that. i'd never make her cum like that.

why the gently caress is this happening? why can't i have her? why can't i be with her like that? i just want to be loved. it's not my fault i was born like this.

is there any way at all i can, maybe, try and go for it? tell her how i feel? i want that with her. i want her. please help me.

tl;dr: i love my roomate's girl, i did something but i still want her.

extra row of teeth posted:

A couple of people cried troll, which is possible. But if it was it was masterfully crafted so I posted it anyway

Naerasa posted:

Having said that, I do love going into r/sexstories - home of REAL sex stories - and guessing which ones are fake. For example, the one I read last week, written by a '5'8", 120lb blonde with 34DDD breasts she's always been ashamed of' is probably - just guessing! - a fake.

loquacius posted:

Yes, I am quite sure this is the primary reason you love going into that subreddit

Skratte posted:

I [30m] have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after GF [25f] has been in there...

Dienes posted:

Am I weird for thinking this is an easily resolved issue and nbd? Girlfriend pays for the carpet to be cleaned, they buy a stack of cheap washcloths to tuck under her side of the bed. Use one, throw in washing machine.

loquacius posted:

Yes, I am quite sure this is the primary reason you love going into that subreddit