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I remember an episode of House where there was a father and daughter with a genetic disease that made them unable to feel joy. They were functional, capable of working/going to school etc. but literally unable to have any pleasant thoughts. The Beep Boop Couple remind me of that so much. "Baby crying; this is not optimal. Baby comforted. Baby no longer crying therefore everything is optimal. Perhaps eliminating baby so I no longer need to comfort is is the most rational decision? I would not miss baby; baby is like any other possession."
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:16 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 19:18 |
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Perhaps there was a babyswitch at the hospital, and there's a very cold, quiet, logic baby out there scaring the poo poo out of some joyous parents.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:18 |
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well why not posted:Perhaps there was a babyswitch at the hospital, and there's a very cold, quiet, logic baby out there scaring the poo poo out of some joyous parents. Babytron never shits itself because making GBS threads itself would cause discomfort. This is irrational behaviour. Babytron shall time making GBS threads to only occur when parent-unit checks diaper, thus minimising poo poo discomfort time. Beep boop, I am babytron.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:20 |
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Quote-Unquote posted:Babytron never shits itself because making GBS threads itself would cause discomfort. This is irrational behaviour. Babytron shall time making GBS threads to only occur when parent-unit checks diaper, thus minimising poo poo discomfort time. Beep boop, I am babytron. Babytron insists on bottle feeding, as its caregivers' inefficient human breasts are not capable of dispensing Soylent.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:30 |
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Babytron will cry for one minute per day, at precisely 17:45. This is to allow at least a thirty minute break before Babytron enter sleep mode.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:38 |
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Babytron arranges all of its blocks into a tight grid, letter-side up. Ideally, of course, they should be alphabetized, but Babytron is at this point ordering them according to a series of fair die rolls from random.org, until such time as Babytron can level up sufficiently to acquire the Literacy perk (at which point min-maxing can begin)
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:46 |
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well why not posted:I'd love to here the excised list of caveats around "perfect". I'm guessing it involves picking her clothes and some very serious opinions about her friends and co-workers. She has no friends. quote:I feel badly because he gets frustrated when he finds out I go above my calorie goal. When I reach my goal, he treats me like a princess and is so proud of me. He loves to see a change when I weigh in, I'm really good about sharing that with him. Well that's depressing, have a smell related one to make up for it! quote:I [30m] have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after GF [25f] has been in there... Part Two: quote:[UPDATE] I [30m] have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after GF [25f] has been in there...
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:53 |
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Babytron understands object permanence with an 85% reliability, and as such, is satisfied with a game of 'guess who', as Babytron - with 85% accuracy - knows who is there.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:54 |
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A finger in the butt is ok. Wiping poo on the carpet is not ok. Just hit her on the nose with a newspaper and tell her bad girl and stick your finger in her butt while you're sexing afterwards.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:56 |
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That's one of the most updates we've gotten in a while.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:58 |
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Yeah that's gross af but she's already said she didn't want to do it with him, so no harm and no foul except the disgusting feces she wiped on the floor like some kind of sick pet. Like, drat, girl.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 15:58 |
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I'm [22M] in love with [24F]. She's dating my roomate [26M]. I did something and I need help. i have a roomate, he's a chad but not a typical one, i think. he's crazy handsome but has had two long term relationships and his life isn't about loving girls. he's very smart and all that, and not a jerk. what i'm trying to say is that it's not easy to hate him and even being an incel (i'm 22, virgin, have an average dick in size but very very thin, and i'm short. my face is hosed up and i have acne scars. most girls have laughed at me, chads have bullied me. i came close to killing myself last year because of it all.) i still like him because he's a cool dude. he started dating a girl this year. they started hooking up november last year, and january this year they got serious. i guess you know where this is going. i'm madly in love with her. she's just the coolest, prettiest girl i've ever met. she plays the guitar, is in a band that plays classic rock, she's a writer (not the sappy kind, the she can quote nietzsche at the drop of a hat kind) and is into gaming. she's perfect. i have never ever met a girl like her. her body is loving out of this world and i wish i could post a picture just to let you guys see it. she's delicate and gorgeous. she talks to me. she treats me like a human being. we play street fighter together, she hangs out with me when chad is working and she's waiting for him. i don't think she's faking her friendship with me, but i know she'd never date me. i love her. yesterday, she and my roomate went on a trip. she hugged me goodbye and all, and she didn't smell like her perfume, she smelled like my roomate. that alone ruined my day and after they left, i was really sad. i'm not crazy, i know they're dating, but i don't need reminders. anyway, i was really depressed and completely alone and i decided to go through my roomate's stuff just to see if i could find something of hers, something interesting, anything. i was out of my mind with sadness. i snooped around his bedroom, i found some clothes of hers, a couple of panties, a journal dated 2014 with all her poetry from that time. i read some of it, and they're good, really loving good. i was ready to just give up and go to sleep, but for some reason i decided to check the drawer on his nightstand. that's when i found it. it was cd case with a cd inside and my roomate's initials together with hers were written on it with black marker. i knew what it was. i knew exactly what it was and i knew what i would find but i took it anyway and booted up my notebook. of course it was a sex video. i knew it was, but i just had hope that it'd be something else. i should have stopped watching, i know. i couldn't. they were laughing. he was setting up the camera and she was facing it, giggling. she was gorgeous. she was wearing a robe and that's it. i'd never seen her like that, she looked out of this world. he was wearing boxers and already had a boner. she went down on him. i never saw him naked, his dick is huge, and she took it in, she gagged, but she was smiling at him. he was caressing her hair, he was sweet with her. that sort of killed me because i always pictured myself being sweet too. caressing her hair, being gentle. then they did everything else. she got on top of him, teased him, and he started loving her. his hands were everywhere, her arms were around his neck. this wasn't mindless gently caress, they were in love. i got a boner and i'm ashamed to say i started jacking off. i was picturing myself with her, but near the end, he made her cum and she wrapped her legs around him and begged him to cum inside her. he reacted like it was something they always do, but he lowered his head, kissed her and told her he loved her. she said it back. i lost my erection and broke out crying right then and there. i jsut bawled my eyes out. i cried like a child, made myself sick, threw up. i'm crying thinking about it. i'm shaking. this isn't fair. i would treat her nice. she would never have me, not with my thin dick or with my looks or anything else. she wouldn't have sex with me like that. i'd never make her cum like that. why the gently caress is this happening? why can't i have her? why can't i be with her like that? i just want to be loved. it's not my fault i was born like this. is there any way at all i can, maybe, try and go for it? tell her how i feel? i want that with her. i want her. please help me. tl;dr: i love my roomate's girl, i did something but i still want her.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:08 |
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Ugh, cleaning poo poo is loving awful for an animal, how damaged do you have to be to wipe it on a wall where you sleep? I don't get why she thought conspicuously opening the window and doing it while her boyfriend is in the shower is a good idea. At least wait until he is not around and you can do it in the bathtub or something where it can actually be disposed of/cleaned easily.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:09 |
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So her fetish is to play with poo poo while risking getting caught? And redditors are telling him to be accepting of it and her wiping poo poo on his carpet? What the gently caress? Granted, I cant smell so I dont know how much you need to make a room reek of it but itd be a decent amount right? Thats beyond hosed.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:09 |
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who the hell wipes their poop on a carpet!? I'd definitely over that crap.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:14 |
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extra row of teeth posted:
This dude is going to murder them in TYOOL 2017.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:15 |
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I honestly thought poo poo-girl was just letting out world shattering farts while he was in the shower. But then I got to the update, and I don't think I'll ever recover fully.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:16 |
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At least she's not feeding it to their kids and him and making GBS threads herself in public yet Poop fetish is gross and should be shamed due to how unsanitary it is
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:19 |
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underage at the vape shop posted:So her fetish is to play with poo poo while risking getting caught? And redditors are telling him to be accepting of it and her wiping poo poo on his carpet? What the gently caress? Half the replies are like "hey man you should tell her to check out fetlife!" and then other people are replying to that bitching about how fetlife I guess banned scat content.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:21 |
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the gritty reboot of Jessie's Girl is a bit dark for me
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:22 |
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extra row of teeth posted:i'm 22, virgin, have an average dick in size but very very thin, and i'm short. my face is hosed up and i have acne scars. most girls have laughed at me, chads have bullied me. i came close to killing myself last year because of it all. I'm imagining this as his dating profile.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:22 |
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Skratte posted:Half the replies are like "hey man you should tell her to check out fetlife!" and then other people are replying to that bitching about how fetlife I guess banned scat content. Really? That's weird because the Fetlife thread we had here was some of the funniest crap I've ever seen, and a ton of it was poo poo-related: "Interests: being a human toilet (everything to do with it)"
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:23 |
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Yeah uh if a poop fetish is a hard "won't" for him (which it sounds like it is), he needs to get the gently caress out because wowextra row of teeth posted:
I honestly only feel pity for this guy, he's all wound up with resentment and self-loathing but he feels shame properly. Dude needs therapy like no other. Skratte posted:Half the replies are like "hey man you should tell her to check out fetlife!" and then other people are replying to that bitching about how fetlife I guess banned scat content. "I don't have a solution to your problem, but man do I ever have a fetish website recommendation for your girlfriend!"
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:24 |
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underage at the vape shop posted:
Even a small amount of poo poo is noticeable to me most of the time.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:26 |
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Is it a full moon or something? I feel there has been a significant jump in insane stories. Also wow...um. r/incel sure is something As always, if this is bordering on not appropriate for this thread I will remove quote:r/femaleincels proves that women can only mimic the achievements of men. (self.Incels)
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:38 |
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There was another incel sub that got banned for being too creepy. Consider that as you read r/incels posts.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:40 |
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54 40 or gently caress posted:Is it a full moon or something? I feel there has been a significant jump in insane stories. can we make a rule to not post r/incel stuff? wow
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:41 |
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Generally, there's an overall increase in general relationship drama due to the holidays. 54 40 or gently caress posted:Is it a full moon or something? I feel there has been a significant jump in insane stories. Aaaaaaa this made my skin crawl At least they're being Darwined out of the gene pool.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:43 |
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Okay apparently it's a troll, and basically half the sub is troll posts anyway.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:44 |
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extra row of teeth posted:
I love that this dude apparently managed to find the most passionate, heartfelt sex tape of all time. Like, he didn't just see them banging, he saw them unburden their souls to each other with their cum.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:46 |
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Virigoth posted:A finger in the butt is ok. Wiping poo on the carpet is not ok. Just hit her on the nose with a newspaper and tell her bad girl and stick your finger in her butt while you're sexing afterwards. Am I weird for thinking this is an easily resolved issue and nbd? Girlfriend pays for the carpet to be cleaned, they buy a stack of cheap washcloths to tuck under her side of the bed. Use one, throw in washing machine.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:48 |
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Naerasa posted:I love that this dude apparently managed to find the most passionate, heartfelt sex tape of all time. Like, he didn't just see them banging, he saw them unburden their souls to each other with their cum. A couple of people cried troll, which is possible. But if it was it was masterfully crafted so I posted it anyway
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:50 |
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Naerasa posted:I love that this dude apparently managed to find the most passionate, heartfelt sex tape of all time. Like, he didn't just see them banging, he saw them unburden their souls to each other with their cum. It's possible he was reading that part in because he (a) feels guilty for being jealous of what he sees as a perfect idealized relationship, and (b) is a very very lonely man He might not be the most reliable narrator in the world about it in other words
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:55 |
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extra row of teeth posted:
lmao
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:55 |
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extra row of teeth posted:A couple of people cried troll, which is possible. But if it was it was masterfully crafted so I posted it anyway I've reached the point where I no longer care if posts are written by trolls or not. Funny is funny, I don't need to know if there's any truth behind that. Having said that, I do love going into r/sexstories - home of REAL sex stories - and guessing which ones are fake. For example, the one I read last week, written by a '5'8", 120lb blonde with 34DDD breasts she's always been ashamed of' is probably - just guessing! - a fake.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:55 |
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Naerasa posted:Having said that, I do love going into r/sexstories - home of REAL sex stories - and guessing which ones are fake. For example, the one I read last week, written by a '5'8", 120lb blonde with 34DDD breasts she's always been ashamed of' is probably - just guessing! - a fake. Yes, I am quite sure this is the primary reason you love going into that subreddit
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:56 |
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loquacius posted:Yes, I am quite sure this is the primary reason you love going into that subreddit
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:57 |
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Skratte posted:I [30m] have been noticing a strange smell in my bedroom after GF [25f] has been in there...
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:58 |
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Dienes posted:Am I weird for thinking this is an easily resolved issue and nbd? Girlfriend pays for the carpet to be cleaned, they buy a stack of cheap washcloths to tuck under her side of the bed. Use one, throw in washing machine. Yes, you are weird. Even if she was doing it without smearing poo poo everywhere, I would still be concerned because scat play is extremely hosed up and I wouldn't want to date someone who's into it.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 16:59 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 19:18 |
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loquacius posted:Yes, I am quite sure this is the primary reason you love going into that subreddit Trust me, I know where to find good porn on the internet. Reddit ain't it. Unless your fetish is smalldickproblems, in which case Reddit is very much it.
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# ? Dec 15, 2016 17:00 |