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Schwarzwald posted:This isn't quite that, but maybe it's close enough. Hahah, this rocks. I kind of want more Galactus chilling out on Earth, being effectively omnipotent and talking like Thor. e: Also Uncle Ben on a surfboard
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Jan 3, 2017 05:04
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Hodgepodge posted:Hahah, this rocks. I kind of want more Galactus chilling out on Earth, being effectively omnipotent and talking like Thor. How about Galactus being constantly scolded by Aunt May after making her his herald? 
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Jan 3, 2017 05:06
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:How about Galactus being constantly scolded by Aunt May after making her his herald? I knew about that one. I think giant Galactus walking around and everyone just treating it as totally normal is the best part though.
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Jan 3, 2017 05:08
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:Or if he's in somebody else's What If? story, he just dies. Off the top of my head, one of my favorites is the ridiculously grim what if captain America had slept till today or something to that effect where Super Nazis run the world and Parker was in some kind of mutant concentration camp. He's super hard bitten and even has a barcode tattoo or whatever, and in the end he smothers Fuhrer Red Skull to death with webbing before dying of a gunshot wound. What If was stupid as poo poo and also one of the best parts of mainstream 90s comics. I haven't read much of the original run.
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Jan 3, 2017 05:23
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IIRC when they had the Essentials program going in full swing, they put at least one volume of What If? I mean, if you're gonna do poo poo like Dazzler Essentials and Werewolf By Night, why not?
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Jan 3, 2017 05:26
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I love the title Werewolf by Night. When has there ever been a story where there were werewolves by day?
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Jan 3, 2017 05:32
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DeimosRising posted:I love the title Werewolf by Night. When has there ever been a story where there were werewolves by day? Remus Lupin  (also the twilight series, probably)
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Jan 3, 2017 05:37
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DeimosRising posted:I love the title Werewolf by Night. When has there ever been a story where there were werewolves by day? Gonna need Blade to take them on walkies.
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Jan 3, 2017 05:39
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:IIRC when they had the Essentials program going in full swing, they put at least one volume of What If? I mean, if you're gonna do poo poo like Dazzler Essentials and Werewolf By Night, why not? You didn't just call Dazzler poo poo, did you?
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Jan 3, 2017 05:48
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GonSmithe posted:The most interesting thing about Thor 3 is that Taika Waititi is directing it, and I have incredibly high hopes because of that. Well you shouldn't considering other than James Gunn on GotG every other Marvel movie has basically any sort of creative voice squeezed out to have just the right amount of generic Marvel studios house style feel instead.
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Jan 3, 2017 09:35
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AFoolAndHisMoney posted:Well you shouldn't considering other than James Gunn on GotG every other Marvel movie has basically any sort of creative voice squeezed out to have just the right amount of generic Marvel studios house style feel instead. Even GoTG is a star wars knockoff with better jokes and bit more pathos. It's not like they let him go nuts. He's just talented and skilled enough to still get a very good movie out of a really generic set up.
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Jan 3, 2017 09:47
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AFoolAndHisMoney posted:Well you shouldn't considering other than James Gunn on GotG every other Marvel movie has basically any sort of creative voice squeezed out to have just the right amount of generic Marvel studios house style feel instead. I mean this is fairly true but there's no harm at all in leaving Thor 3 on your 'maybe I'll watch this' pile until it's in cinemas and the reviews start coming out. That's what I'm doing.
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Jan 3, 2017 09:49
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Basically however much you change around Spider-Man's origin he always becomes goodguy Spider-Man anyway because Marvel can't/won't have it any other way, even in a completely hypothetical "What If" story. Babysitter Super Sleuth posted:Which is incredibly dumb, imo, since part of what appeals to me about Spidey's origin is that it scans like a supervillain origin right up until Ben dies. It's especially interesting to contrast this with a good number of the Superman Elseworlds, such as "What if the Waynes discovered Kal-El's rocket instead of the Kents" Superman becomes a despotic super murderer, "What if Darkseid intercepted Kal-El's rocket and raised him as his own" Superman becomes a despotic super murderer, "What if Kal-El's rocket landed in the Soviet Union" ahem... DeimosRising posted:Off the top of my head, one of my favorites is the ridiculously grim what if captain America had slept till today or something to that effect where Super Nazis run the world and Parker was in some kind of mutant concentration camp. He's super hard bitten and even has a barcode tattoo or whatever, and in the end he smothers Fuhrer Red Skull to death with webbing before dying of a gunshot wound. What If was stupid as poo poo and also one of the best parts of mainstream 90s comics. I haven't read much of the original run. There was a whole phase of those ridiculously grim ones in the 90s, like the one where Peter and MJ had a son and it was a really dark mutant take where the kid was growing organic spider-fangs and poo poo and a hunger for raw flesh, or where Juggernaut killed the X-Men and it led to the Sentinels exterminating all humanity and Juggs being the last man on Earth. When they dropped the "What If X Did/Didn't Y?" format and just went Outer Limits with it, things got real 
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Jan 3, 2017 10:07
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AFoolAndHisMoney posted:Well you shouldn't considering other than James Gunn on GotG every other Marvel movie has basically any sort of creative voice squeezed out to have just the right amount of generic Marvel studios house style feel instead. Black Panther and Thor: Ragnarok are the first two movies that I'm hoping are going to become the exceptions to this rule. Because you're right, I shouldn't be excited because from everything we've seen from Marvel what you mentioned does happen, but hiring people like Coogler and Waititi who have such specific voices and ways of making films leaves me hopeful.
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Jan 3, 2017 10:11
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Basically however much you change around Spider-Man's origin he always becomes goodguy Spider-Man anyway because Marvel can't/won't have it any other way, even in a completely hypothetical "What If" story.
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Jan 3, 2017 10:16
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K. Waste posted:Jesus Christ, that's so loving stupid. TetsuoTW posted:Wasn't there some brief series that, IIRC, was a hosed-up Marvel universe which included a Peter Parker who got bitten by a radioactive spider and got the proportional strength and speed of a man who is dead because he got cancer from a radioactive spider bite? It's literally Ben Urich documenting an alternate Marvel universe where all the heroes are dying from either their mutant powers backfiring, or cancer. There's even a scene where he interviews Hulk's best pal, Rick Jones, who is a filthy, dying addict. Ben notes that he's drinking liquid morphine to dull the pain from CANCER. It's the most ludicrously grim and cynical take I've ever seen.
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Jan 3, 2017 15:48
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iirc ruins had a couple of mutants who weren't dying of their own powers but instead were being pimped out by professor x because you can't have mature comics without some needless sexual debauchery ruins was real bad yall
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Jan 3, 2017 16:07
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Just watched BvS for the first time over the holidays. A barrage of images meaning nothing. Liked Batman versus the random mooks though, good action choreography. That's my take on BvS, thank you.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:11
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Ruins is just one of those things you gotta search out for yourself because otherwise you'd never believe they published something like it. Like yeah there's a panel where Urich is having a secret meeting with Nick Fury in an alley in D.C; Fury's anti-aging serum has driven him totally insane and in one panel Jean Grey (?) randomly walks up to them and tries to sell her body and Nick shoots her through the head because flashback (?) and Urich has to run away. The next time we see more mutants it's at this special prison "President X" maintains (with warden Wilson Fisk, who's somehow grown a Texan accent) where he's tried to "cure" mutants of their powers by just amputating limbs (Cyclops is eyeless, Quicksilver is flopping around without arms or legs). Warren Ellis insists btw that Ruins is actually extremely funny 
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Jan 3, 2017 16:13
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WENTZ WAGON NUI posted:Warren Ellis insists btw that Ruins is actually extremely funny honestly knowing warren ellis i could kinda see that as having been his goal, even if it didn't come off like that at all
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Jan 3, 2017 16:16
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There is some humor to it honestly that doesn't come across in a simple description because through it all you have to keep in mind Ben Urich is basically doing the hammiest "MY GOD, MAN! THE HORROR!" reactions to everything he sees.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:18
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Shageletic posted:A barrage of images meaning nothing. "Nihilist Film Critic" could definitely fill the void Film Crit Hulk left when they dropped their gimmick.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:20
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At first, it made me angry, then the sheer ridiculousness of it washed over me. It's so self-consciously edgy 1990s. What if...the Marvel Universe Got...CANCER!" It would make for a pretty edgy Rick & Morty episode.Shanty posted:"Nihilist Film Critic" could definitely fill the void Film Crit Hulk left when they dropped their gimmick. Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Jan 3, 2017 |
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Jan 3, 2017 16:22
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There's an alternate universe in the Marvel multi-verse where death died. It's called the cancerverse
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Jan 3, 2017 16:27
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Halloween Jack posted:At first, it made me angry, then the sheer ridiculousness of it washed over me. It's so self-consciously edgy 1990s. What if...the Marvel Universe Got...CANCER!" It would make for a pretty edgy Rick & Morty episode. That would be a pretty boring issue actually, since cancer is cured in the Marvel Universe.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:28
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I mean, when you think about it, isn't the comics industry just a cancer?
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Jan 3, 2017 16:28
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WENTZ WAGON NUI posted:There is some humor to it honestly that doesn't come across in a simple description because through it all you have to keep in mind Ben Urich is basically doing the hammiest "MY GOD, MAN! THE HORROR!" reactions to everything he sees. It is honestly pretty funny, given that Marvel published it.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:34
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Halloween Jack posted:What If...'s have a discouraging tendency to end with either the same mainstream status quo being eventually imposed, or the world being destroyed. The implications being that we are lucky to be following the best/true timeline and that Marvel is not going to show us a cooler story that readers would have preferred over what we got.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:41
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I want a "What if JJ Jameson got into politics instead of selling papes?"
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Jan 3, 2017 16:46
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greatn posted:I want a "What if JJ Jameson got into politics instead of selling papes?" i think when i was still reading comics jjj became mayor of new york for awhile, it was fun
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Jan 3, 2017 16:48
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To give DC some credit, their Elseworlds get weird like the goregous Superman: Metropolis where he lives in Fritz Lang world and Batman is Nosferatu by way of the Cabinet of Dr Caligari.
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Jan 3, 2017 16:49
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Lobok posted:The implications being that we are lucky to be following the best/true timeline and that Marvel is not going to show us a cooler story that readers would have preferred over what we got.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:12
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Shageletic posted:Just watched BvS for the first time over the holidays. A barrage of images meaning nothing. Liked Batman versus the random mooks though, good action choreography. That's my take on BvS, thank you. This is an anti-take, actually.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:15
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Guy Goodbody posted:There's an alternate universe in the Marvel multi-verse where death died. It's called the cancerverse Was. It got Thanosed. He finally got to kill a universe, and all it cost him was reverting to the same character he was at the start of Infinity War.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:16
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K. Waste posted:I mean, when you think about it, isn't the comics industry just a cancer? Capitalism or industry in general, depending on who you ask.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:30
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Hodgepodge posted:Was. It got Thanosed. If I'm remembering right Thanos gets really mad that playing nice guy with Death and killing a whole universe doesn't get him laid.
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Jan 3, 2017 18:03
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ThePlague-Daemon posted:If I'm remembering right Thanos gets really mad that playing nice guy with Death and killing a whole universe doesn't get him laid. Thanos' pathetic Nice Guy obsession with death will never not be hilarious edit: all I want from the Infinity War movie is for them to include the part where Thanos makes a girl version of himself to be his perfect girlfriend to try to make Death jealous 
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Jan 3, 2017 18:57
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Halloween Jack posted:What If...'s have a discouraging tendency to end with either the same mainstream status quo being eventually imposed, or the world being destroyed.
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Jan 3, 2017 19:20
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That was good, but maybe not as good as the one where Spider-Man kept his six arms because Morbius was killed and eaten by sharks, literally minutes after he became a vampire. That's one of my favourite things in What If..., when some especially geeky writer shows that the mainstream continuity would be vastly different if not for some D-list character's actions.
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Jan 3, 2017 19:33
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What if Spider-Man kept his six arms but also then got possessed by Dr Octopus who put on his four robot arms.
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Jan 3, 2017 19:38
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