boner confessor posted:

or if you really hated someone just order illegal poo poo to their address

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I think you're thinking of a mail bomb. My mom is afraid of them even if she knows who sent the package.

quote:

Hello, . My granddaughter is staying with me and caring for me because I've recently fallen and need help doing things. Today my older sister called, and began to brag about how hard her daughter works.

I told her "well Helen (my daughter and my granddaughter's mother) is busy all the time because she is at home right now with 4 cats and 3 dogs that aren't even hers, they're Elise's (my granddaughter) but Helen is the one who has to take care of them." But then my sister said "They aren't really they are Helen's." I said no they aren't.

It is very easy to hear in my house so I called Elise in and asked her to sit down. She didn't sit down but just asked what I needed. I began to explain everything that I had said, and told her that I didn't want her to think I was fussing on her.

Elise then said "I wasn't listening so I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, "Well I'm glad you weren't listening." Elise said "Uhh, okay?" And then I tried to explain again everything that I had said, and Elise said, "That's not the correct number of pets" and I said I couldn't remember.

Then she said, "I don't really care, but I shouldn't get grief for that. I was a kid when I asked for those pets so if they didn't want them they should have said no." She also said it wasn't right for me to say because she does have one dog that she got last year, and he is her responsibility and he is with her here at my house. And she does always bring him.

Then she left the room and I felt like she was angry with me. So I came out and tried to talk to her but she didn't speak. I told asked her what she was doing and she said working. I asked on what and she said some writing thing. I asked how it works, because she says she works on the computer but I don't understand how you get paid that way.

Then I told her about my sister and how she complains about this and that but I am so much worse than her and she didn't say anything.

tl;dr: My granddaughter overheard me say something raunchy about her

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My[79F] Granddaughter [21F] is disrespecting me, and I feel like I've offended her.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I (26/F) have a boyfriend (26/M) who really wants to be a cat. What do I do?

u/rizzle3451h

I need advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and he desperately wants to be a cat. He constantly meows at me and even hisses. He loves to rub his face up against mine and purr, pretending that he is a cat greeting me and then waits for me to pet him. I am not the biggest fan of cats, but they are growing on me. I just don't know if I should play along with him or tell him that this has gotten out of hand. What should I do?

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I think you're thinking of a mail bomb. My mom is afraid of them even if she knows who sent the package.

quote:

How can I [20F] feel comfortable pooping around my boyfriend [20M] of over a year?

I feel like an idiot posting this but I feel stressed enough about it that I thought I might as well see if anyone has advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and it's my first real relationship (his too). Things have been going very well and I'm so happy and 99% of the time feel more comfortable with him than anybody else, except for one little problem… I cannot poop when he's around, at all. The thing is, I know he's pooping when I'm around for sure (like, he'll be in the bathroom for several minutes and I don't hear him peeing). And he's not the type of guy that thinks girls don't poop, has any issues with bodily functions (we have a normal sex life on my period), or would think any differently of me because of it. Yet I still hate the idea of him knowing that I'm pooping, even though he obviously knows that it happens.

Only recently have I found stealthy ways to poop when we’re spending a lot of time together. We live a couple hours away from each other so usually only see each other on weekends (that’s why it’s been possible for me to not poop around him). Recently, we’ve been able to spend some more extended time together (4+ days in a row) so I knew I wasn’t going to wait to poop for that long, so I'd either a) poop while I'm running the bath water before a shower so the sound is masked or b) while we were out somewhere, I’d go in a public bathroom. I’m a quick pooper so the main thing I’m worried about is him hearing the sound or smelling it.

Neither of us have a scatological sense of humor or talk in detail about bodily functions so I doubt any conversation would ever come up about pooping (like he would never ask me why I hadn't pooped around him & I’m not sure he even realizes that I haven’t). I feel like it’s really time for me to get over this because there’s been a few times where after one of us sleeps over at the others place, the next morning (when I normally poop) I’ll really have to go and will sometimes cut our time together a few hours short (and will come up with an excuse about something that I have to get done).

Not that it’s taken away much of our time together, I just don’t want something that silly/irrational taking away ANY of our time spent together. I’m also worried about the day I inevitably get sick with something where I’m getting diarrhea, and can’t avoid telling him. Plus thinking about the future of our relationship, if we were to move in together, I cannot be afraid of pooping in my own place and avoid it all the time.

Does anyone have advice on getting over this, pooping in the most inconspicuous way possible, etc? There’s been other things in the relationship I was self conscious about before but got over eventually (having sex on my period, not shaving so meticulously or wearing makeup all the time around him) and now I feel stupid for ever worrying about those things. I feel like this is the final hurdle I need to get over to really feel comfortable in the relationship.

TL;DR: I'll take any and all advice for feeling comfortable enough to poop when I'm around my boyfriend; I've so far only done it when we're together while I have water running before a shower, or in public bathrooms.

quote:

tl;dr: My granddaughter overheard me say something raunchy about her

JaucheCharly posted:

Looking him dead in the eye while making GBS threads on the floor.

JaucheCharly posted:

Looking him dead in the eye while making GBS threads on the floor.

Gaunab posted:

How can I [20F] feel comfortable pooping around my boyfriend [20M] of over a year?

boner confessor posted:

no i mean like, if joey down the street pissed you off and you know he's on probation, order some lovely weed to his address and watch him go to jail

Gaunab posted:

P-Mack posted:

Agreed. Grab the bull by the horns.

chitoryu12 posted:

I'm pretty sure there's no "military version" of a Saiga-12 that's banned in the United States. Saigas are pretty common here in all sorts of configurations.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My[79F] Granddaughter [21F] is disrespecting me, and I feel like I've offended her.

scrubs season six posted:

I vaguely remember this story (I think) and my impression was this guy was trying to have a Saiga shipped directly to his house. I could be wrong though. It wasn't that the gun itself was illegal in the US.

Mirthless posted:

Nah, importing the gun itself was also illegal; apparently the Saiga itself is directly banned from import due to sanctions as a result of the Crimea annexation.

boner confessor posted:

no i mean like, if joey down the street pissed you off and you know he's on probation, order some lovely weed to his address and watch him go to jail

Mirthless posted:

it would have to get intercepted, though, and the big vendors on alphabay make 20,000+ sales a year, they know how to ship drugs without it getting detected in transit. USPS can't monitor your mail without a warrant so unless he was on probation for exactly this sort of thing AND they had reason to believe he was back into it they would more than likely never intercept. If you were going to do something like this you'd want to order something detectable (like a large amount of MDMA or Heroin) from the Netherlands or some other country that customs pays extra close attention to, and even then it would have to be a significant enough amount to launch an investigation. There's so much protection in the system against this sort of plan that it's completely infeasible.

honestly at this point I am starting to wonder percentage of parcels shipped in the US are drugs. The number has to be staggering.

quote:

To start off, I need to share a bit of background information. My boyfriend and I use to be very active in the bedroom, but it slowly died down and now I suffer almost unbearable pain when we have PIV sex. (I am going to doctors to try and figure out what's going on). Because of this pain, the bedroom has been dry for at least 6 months with attempts to have intercourse randomly dispersed throughout.
I have also gained about 50-60 pounds since we started dating. I understand that physical attractiveness is a very important part of a relationship. My boyfriend has admitted that he isn't as sexually attracted to me but still calls me beautiful. Even I am unhappy with my body and in no way feel sexy, so I don't hold that against him. I am also currently working very hard to lose the weight though progress is slow. So, add all of these issues with my boyfriend's insatiable sexual appetite (doctors think it's a hormone imbalance) and you get a very frustrated man.
We sat down and had a discussion about it, he wanted to go and have sex with other women, no relationships, just pure sex (we call it going to get coffee). At first I wasn't too comfortable with the idea, but I set a strict set of boundaries and rules which he has followed. He never pressured me into my decision, and he wouldn't have gone behind my back if I had said no. I have to admit, it is kind of nice to having a happy guy to come home to and not be beaten over the head with 'give me sex' all the time. Now, just to ease some worry, if I want to try and have sex he still will try with me. He also still flirts sexually with me and even though I'm not sexy, being around me still physically effects him.
The issue that I need advice on is that he went to go 'get coffee' and the girl got pregnant. He was wearing a condom (which I know is true because he has extreme trust issues and OCD about germs), and she was supposed to be on birth control. We can't tell if she messed with the condoms, or what happened, but it happened.
She is going to get an abortion, it's scheduled for Monday. I'm still in a whirlwind of emotion. I'm angry, scared, nervous. I feel sick to my stomach and I can't sleep. I don't know how to process this. We talked about this potentially happening, but I never thought it would. I want to be angry with him, with her, but deep down, I don't think that I should be because we had a discussion about it and I agreed to him getting coffee. I was just wondering what advice you could give me to help me through this time. I know this was a mistake, he wasn't planning to get pregnant.
Also, we've agreed that he's not going to be getting coffee anymore. I'm also not going to leave him, it was a mutual decision, and I supported his needs. If this had happened behind my back, then his rear end would be on the curb in a heartbeat. I do not see this as cheating since we agreed on it and he was a complete open book about anything I wanted to know.
Any advice on getting through this would be appreciated. Thanks!
tl;dr: Boyfriend got an allowed piece of side meat pregnant. She will be getting an abortion. Need advice on working through this.

quote:

I didn't think I needed to include my rules, but here they are:
Any girl must be told about me, our relationship and know that this is just pure, basic sex.
Never in our house.
Never with a co-work or friend to both of us.
Only in the Doggy position.
Must use condoms. (though he would anyways, it just made me feel better to have it in the list)
No kissing, or cuddling or anything that could lead to romance.
No relationship or real contact outside of the texts/calls of 'hey, let's meet up'.
However, I know he wore a condom with her because it took him two years to be okay with not wearing one with me. The thing is, is we can't be sure she DIDN'T mess with the condoms or wasn't on her birth control. When he first told me, he was convinced that she might have been lying to try and trap him. I told him he needed to tell her that she needed a blood pregnancy test, not just the do-it-at-home kind.
I am also not the lightly walk away kind of person either. Him and I have been through A LOT. I trust him more than almost anyone on this planet. However, if you are right, and there are some dots that haven't been connected though I can't see what they might be. I would leave in a heartbeat. Thank you for your advice though.

Pick posted:

Well it's hard because otherwise you could set people up so easily. They need proof that you solicited whatever the shipment was.

Nazzadan posted:

I don't know what only doggy means.

Nazzadan posted:

I don't know what only doggy means.

Nazzadan posted:

I don't know what only doggy means.

Antivehicular posted:

I presume "you can't have sex in a position that would result in eye contact because that might be romantic."

WampaLord posted:

You don't know what doggy style is or you don't know why she asked for it?

Cause this poster nailed the why:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

lol ever hear the story of why the MD police have to actually report on what they are doing with their SWAT teams

Nazzadan posted:

Jokes on her though, he'll just fall in love with their asses.

Subjunctive posted:

no

Nazzadan posted:

Also, here are her rules about the "coffee breaks"


I don't know what only doggy means.

Leon Einstein posted:

Only doggy is so he can't look them in the eyes while loving them. I guess she's ok with him looking them in the butthole though.

Edit: beaten

Ps. There's no way he followed those rules.