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Ride The Gravitron posted:need help! My [29f] husband [32m] plays video games 3-4 nights a week and I feel ignored. don't get married to somebody you started dating before you learned how to drive  Ride The Gravitron posted:My [23 F] boyfriend [24 M] is attracted to a video game character and it's creepy. Not sure what to do about this. man there is no way this post is real, I don't know, maybe it's the part where she specifically mentions rule 34 but I feel like that is not common enough slang and also this guy sounds too shameless to be real i'm giving gamers way too much credit, aren't i?
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Jan 13, 2017 15:29
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Oh, God, I was going to make an Overwatch joke, but that dude's a competitive Smash Brothers guy, which is somehow weirder.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:29
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Ride The Gravitron posted:My [23 F] boyfriend [24 M] is attracted to a video game character and it's creepy. Not sure what to do about this. lmao literally can't trust himself not to creep over samus so he had to switch. Also I thought this was gonna be another overwatch post until I remembered how unstable the smash community has literally always been.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:29
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Here's a topic change because the thread is really boring when one poster decides to make a bunch of "theme" posts: My [23f] wife did some fairly nasty things during a short separation we had while dating. I [23m] don't feel great about it. quote:Hey everyone. My wife and I have been together since we were 16 years old. I was her first boyfriend and she was my first girlfriend. We are both from a smaller town but moved into a city together for university, lived together during, graduated together, and now we're both working in a completely different big city.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:30
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r/relationship_advice [30/f]Punched in the back for turning off husbands video game [36/m] u/throwaway533312y My husband of 9 years plays console video games non-stop and has for many years. Today I got home after another long day of tending to the children alone and he was playing. I told him to move it out of the bedroom because I was tired of hearing it all day. Its a very loud explosion and shooting game. I was basically told to gently caress off that I'm not his mother, so I lost my temper and turned off the console. He lost it, because he was in the middle of a round or something, and punched me in the back hard, right in front of our 6 year old son. I told him I was leaving, and he said if I tried to leave with the kids he would call the cops. I didn't want anything else to happen with the kids there so I just said ok. Now I'm sitting here confused and feeling hurt and have no clue what to do. How could a game make him react like that? ETA: I had a long while to stare at the ceiling and think last night. Many of you have said exactly what I needed to hear, that being in a situation like this is of no benefit to my kids, and won't change. Him punching made me realize not only how he truly feels about us, but also the status of our relationship overall. I am incredibly afraid to be a single mum but others have done it and I can also. I am leaving this week during the day while he is at work to avoid any confrontations. Thank you everyone for your advice.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:33
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How important is it for your girlfriend to play video games? u/casper3336y My girlfriend doesn't play video games. I do. We've been together over three years, and lately I find myself playing them more. I'm also getting into graphic novels. She wants nothing to do with any of it. She thinks I'm not into her, but we have a really good sex life. Sex is like the only thing we have at the moment. I'm willing to try some stuff she wants us to do, which includes yoga and couples dancing classes, but I'm conflicted regarding what to do. I am getting frustrated because she isn't a part of the community of gamers/nerds that I am, and I feel like I have to dramatically cut back the time I spend with them so that I can spend more time with her. I'm close to telling her that I'm not into her, and that I really need a girl that plays video games. Is anyone that's in a mixed relationship (nerd/non-nerd) have any advice? I'm really upset.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:36
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Andrast posted:You can get away with liking "kid things" as an adult though. You just have to be a well adjusted person and not have that be your whole personality defining thing. I think you'd be surprised at the kinds of things people will complain about or give you a hard time over. It's way less common with millennials, but gen-Xers really don't seem to get it and boomers only seem to let it go because they don't care anymore. I mean, look at how people reacted to Pokemon Go.  It's a generational thing I think.Antivehicular posted:I don't really get why you wouldn't just message him with "hey, it's (Girlfriend), I'm gonna try and learn this game, want to help?", or just talk to him out of game about it, but... still, so awful. i imagine she probably would have as soon as she figured out he didn't know it was her but the relentless misogyny probably piqued her curiosity more than anything and she had to maintain the farce 100% a reason to exit the relationship and she should make sure he knows why on the way out, lol. What's his excuse - "I didn't know it was you!" ? She knows what he really thinks about women now.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:37
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mixed relationship (nerd/non-nerd)
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Jan 13, 2017 15:38
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Ride the Gravitron I'm convinced you're deliberately attempting to start another video game derail
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Jan 13, 2017 15:39
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Tater Love 
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BF's video game habit is starting to cause problems u/throwaway55425y My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and things have been fine. I don't care if he plays video games and I've never had a problem with what he does in his free time until recently. He plays for several hours every day. He doesn't have a job, but we're both in college. Now that spring semester has started his usual schedule is to play video games until he has to go to class then return home right after class is over and playing video games until he goes to sleep. He plays these video games with his real life friends. When we hang out at his house, he plays video games for almost the entire time except for maybe an hour or two where we'll watch TV or a movie together. All of this I can put up with. The part I can't put up with is this: he'll take short breaks from his gaming when his friends go to get food/drinks/whatever and expect me to want to give him a blow job or engage in other sexy activities with him. If I say no he just shrugs his shoulders and returns to the game. If I say yes then he leaves ventrilo on so all his friends are still talking which is a huge turnoff. It's gotten to the point where I haven't wanted to do anything sex related with him for two weeks. I don't even want to bother "hanging out" with him because what that really translates to is "watch him play video games and try to have sex with me when it's convenient for him." I've told him that I am turned off by him trying to initiate anything when he's clearly just using the break given to him by his friends in the video game. He told me if I suggested other activities for us to do he'd stop playing and we could do that, but when I suggest something he says no without considering it. What should I do?
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Jan 13, 2017 15:41
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WampaLord posted:Here's a topic change because the thread is really boring when one poster decides to make a bunch of "theme" posts: Ouch. I mean, she did tell him what her plan was and what had happened, but it'd still suck to hear. I'm not sure what people delude themselves into thinking happens when couples go on a break, but it is always loving other people.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:41
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WampaLord posted:Here's a topic change because the thread is really boring when one poster decides to make a bunch of "theme" posts:  I will never understand the people who "take a break" for a week and go out and gently caress as many people as they can In the case of this story it sounds like she just wanted to cheat on her boyfriend guilt free after he said no to an open relationship. That's lovely and manipulative and the fact that she doesn't even feel bad would lead me to believe it's going to happen again and again as long as this guy is enough of a doormat to let it go. "I didn't have an affair!" "I didn't cheat!" she says - after her boyfriend specifically told her if she wanted to have that level of freedom, their relationship was over. Joking about the threesome isn't an admission, it's a way to feel like you told the truth instead of actually telling the truth.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:45
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Leon Einstein posted:Ouch. I mean, she did tell him what her plan was and what had happened, but it'd still suck to hear. I'm not sure what people delude themselves into thinking happens when couples go on a break, but it is always loving other people. Seriously if, heaven forbid, my partner and I take a break I'm gonna make sure we're really loving explicit about what is cool and not cool on the break
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Jan 13, 2017 15:46
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WampaLord posted:I'll agree with this, in the sense of if someone actually calls themselves a "gamer" that is a big no. literally never date someone who has played a videogame.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:47
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or if they are otherwise obsessed with video games.
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:no. literally never date
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Jan 13, 2017 15:48
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mfcrocker posted:Seriously if, heaven forbid, my partner and I take a break I'm gonna make sure we're really loving explicit about what is cool and not cool on the break He absolutely did though: quote:I told her at the time that if she broke up with me, our relationship was over. I said that she could do whatever or whoever she wanted, but we were done and I didn't want her back for doing this to me. I asked if that's what she wanted. She cried and said she just wasn't ready to decide on a marriage partner. She left to live with her aunt a few miles away and I was alone in the apartment. That's what's really hosed up about this. She knew the one thing that was absolutely a deal breaker was her loving somebody else - they'd already had the open relationship argument. To him, a break was "some time apart for breathing room" - her loving other people would have been a break-up. She said she didn't want a break-up, but she still hosed other people.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:48
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:no. literally never date someone who has played a videogame.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:49
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Mirthless posted:He absolutely did though: And then he hosed up by taking her back after promising he wouldn't. I'm also not a fan of someone who defaults to "Yes, you loving slut!" when stuff like this comes up. They're both bad, but her move of "jokingly" admitting to the threesome took a lot of gall.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:50
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lol at these women who just let their guys play games for hours and hours and completely ignore them. if you have a girl, you pay attention to her and that means cutting back on your gaming. or you can just not have a girl. why is this so hard?
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Jan 13, 2017 15:52
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WampaLord posted:And then he hosed up by taking her back after promising he wouldn't. I think "you loving [term for someone who has no sexual standards]" is a pretty appropriate emotional response to somebody who got into a gangbang during a four day break from your relationship after you made it specifically clear monogamy was important to you He probably wouldn't have taken her back if he'd known what her definition of a short break was
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Jan 13, 2017 15:52
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She [22/f] thinks my [26/m] hobbies are useless and garbage. roughest fight we've had. Is there a way to meet halfway? u/chestaf3d So context on what happened with me first to help understand what led to the moment of the fight. Also, TL:DR at the bottom below my question. I recently moved to Vancouver, BC all by myself because I'm chasing job experiences and the job also had really good pay. For those of you who don't know, Vancouver is pretty drat expensive to live in. I believe it's the most expensive place to live in, in all of Canada. I used to live at home with my parents in Kamloops where my GF lived as well, in her own apartment. I have been working at this new place for about 8-9 months. Ever since I've moved here, a few things happened. 1) I started renting an apartment 2) I got my first newly owned car 3) I started eating/cooking healthier 4) I started exercising more. So with all this combined with me living on my own the first time, I believe it's understandable why it's hard to save when I don't have a career yet. I'm also an avid gamer. I like to follow games and do research before making my purchases both on PS4 and my gaming rig. So anyways, fast forward to Tuesday, January 3, 2017. I had time off from work so I visited my gf and my family in my home town. I spent money on food and clothes for my gf and had a good time. Saturday the 7th, I came back to Vancouver and when I arrived, I noticed my car was vandalized. My windshield wipers were bent while one was snapped in half and my side doors were key'd on both sides. I explained that I had to pay $500 deductible as well as an increase in my premium from $210 to $311 monthly because of a hiccup with the insurance broker who initially sold me my insurance. This basically meant that I could not save any money for this month since the money I planned on putting aside is going to my deductibles and to the increase in my premium. So while I was walking around and about, I stumbled upon EB games and found out 4 games I was tracking over the years. Those 4 games are : For Honor, Horizon: Zero Dawn, Ghost Recon Wildlands and Mass Effect Andromeda. I told my gf these are the only 4 games I have been looking forward to this year and that I plan to purchase them. She then went on a crazy rant about how my hobby of being a video gamer is trash, useless and garbage. My gf isn't as much of a gamer as I am, as you can tell from her language. She plays League of Legends casually and that's about all the "gaming" she does. At first I was ok with her insulting my gaming and I tried explaining to her that you can't assess the value of gaming the same way as you do clothes or other materialistic things. Clothes, houses, cars and other things. When you buy those things, you make a 1 time purchase and use them for who knows how long right? I tried explaining that video games are entirely different. You pay to experience the emotion and the hardwork developers put into the games. You get to experience living inside someone else's shoes and seeing a different world and enjoy things that aren't possible in real life. She however kept saying "you're useless, and you'll never amount to anything" despite me trying to explain that I have been financially stable without the support of my family and my gf. My older brother in Calgary is being supported heavily by my parents and my younger brother in Burnaby is being spoon fed money and food. I have also started living healthier working towards the goal of working for RCMP or Calgary Police. Despite me presenting these points, she still kept raging about how useless my hobby is and that she doesn't care if I'm happy with my video gaming or not. This triggered me and rubbed me the wrong way. when I get mad, I start swearing and saying names. I understand this is not healthy nor is it a good way to vent anger. I called her things that I shouldn't have out of anger and I have now deactivated my facebook and have gone social media quiet to calm my nerves. My question is this, do any of you think that I still have a chance to fix this relationship? Is it worth fixing a relationship where neither of us see eye to eye when it comes to hobbies? TL:DR my gf thinks my hobbies are garbage. I blew up and called her names and swore. now we're on a break / maybe on the verge of break up. need advice.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:54
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WampaLord posted:And then he hosed up by taking her back after promising he wouldn't. She passed it off as a joke, not as a serious, real thing she did. If she said, "no really, I had a threesome at a party our mutal friends were at, we were on break, and I feel i that i did not cheat on you, how do you want to handle this?" and he still married her, than yes, he's an idiot. Instead she we "lol not much happened just a cahrayzay threesome lmao" and hoped no one would ever tell him. Drama happens in relationships, and people do not always literally mean everything they say, or change their minds, especially once you semi-break up and both regret it.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:56
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WampaLord posted:And then he hosed up by taking her back after promising he wouldn't. Yeah, it's a stretch to say this was a properly agreed-upon break. They broke up and he took her back 4 days later
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Jan 13, 2017 15:57
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Ride The Gravitron posted:She [22/f] thinks my [26/m] hobbies are useless and garbage. roughest fight we've had. Is there a way to meet halfway? this post reads like this guy is developmentally disabled in some way and this: quote:I have also started living healthier working towards the goal of working for RCMP or Calgary Police. you're an out of shape 26 year old dude who plays video games all day, this ship has sailed and your girlfriend wants you to grow up and figure out what you're going to do with your life before you're 30
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Jan 13, 2017 15:57
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I just don't get why he thought she'd remain chaste when she literally told him her agenda.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:57
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Leon Einstein posted:I just don't get why he thought she'd remain chaste when she literally told him her agenda. Because he was naive and trusted somebody he loved to not manipulate him or abuse his trust.
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Jan 13, 2017 15:58
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Mirthless posted:this post reads like this guy is developmentally disabled in some way Well yeah, he's a gamer
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Jan 13, 2017 15:59
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if you're ever with someone and they admit they've played Overwatch, call the police
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Jan 13, 2017 16:00
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My (30m) fiance (28f) offended my friends, now they're threatening to not come to the wedding. u/gfmadethemmad1y This all feels like the most juvenile poo poo in the world so excuse me if my tone seems annoyed. I don't know how to handle this because it's not something that's ever happened before. Anna and I are getting married in about 6 months. We've been together for three years, met while I was in a temporary work assisgnment that became permanent. As such, my friends are all in one place, I'm in another. Anna hadn't met them until very recently. The night was going great. We'd gone to visit together so I could introduce her and all that. Personally, I'll be honest. I've been outgrowing my friends steadily for a long time if feels like. We all met loving video games and as I grew up, I felt less of a need to hide away in the video game world. They still play games as their main/only hobbies, spending days and nights at their computers. Anna didn't know this. She knew I used to play games a lot, and that I still do, on a very very light basis. There's so much else to do in the world that I just can't justify sitting on my rear end in front of a computer screen for hours at a time anymore. There's food to cook and eat, beers to drink, hikes to take, things to build, scarves to knit, books to read, etc. Anna doesn't have any problem with when I play a game, I might play an hour here or there. But she also would have a problem if I sat playing a game for 6 hours a day until I finished it or anything like that. She wouldn't be interested in a relationship with me if that's how I was, and I don't blame her. It's not attractive, and I see that. So when we were all out drinking, the subject of one of her exes comes up. I've met the guy and there was nothing terrible about him, they're still on friendly terms. But Anna jokes, "I'm glad I got out of that before I locked it down, he's 28 years old and still sits on his butt playing video games all day." My friends were uncomfortable, but gave no indication to her that they were upset. At least not at first. She ended up making another disaparaging remark about him, lighthearted, saying that "Oh, he was just one of those guys who goes on that Reddit site all day looking at all the naked girls and arguing over who's the nerdiest. It's so sad." It was in reference to people we wish would grow up. My friends were then pretty annoyed, I guess. I couldn't tell, and neither could Anna. In my mind, the rest of the night went fine. After Anna and I got back home, my friends pulled me on Skype to talk so much poo poo about Anna. I was horrified, personally. They were saying really awful things about the girl I'm planning to marry. How she's so judgmental and "cunty" how she's a frigid bitch, how she must feel insecure about her own intelligence if she has a problem with nerds. The whole time I was in awe that this was happening, and when I finally made sense of them, I told them to all knock off the insults against her. Then they said "You're picking some dumb blonde chick over your bros." and that's when they said that if I dont have her apologize for offending them, they aren't coming to the wedding. I'm stuck between just telling them to move on with their lives and let me live my new life in peace, and wondering if there's more to this story that I didn't get. Because by all rights, saying you aren't attracted to nerdy gamers isn't offensive, at least I don't think so. Hell, I know if Anna was the type to game all day and Reddit all night, I'd be extremely turned off. So I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? tl;dr: GF offended friends back home by insulting her ex-boyfriend, who was an avid gamer. Friends are saying it's essentially her or us, or an apology or they won't come to the wedding. I have no clue what to do.
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Jan 13, 2017 16:05
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Serious question: has anyone ever went on a break and it actually helped the relationship? I feel like anytime I read "we went on a break" it's just a prelude to a break-up or a terrible relationship
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Jan 13, 2017 16:05
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mfcrocker posted:Yeah, it's a stretch to say this was a properly agreed-upon break. They broke up and he took her back 4 days later Literally this. He told her he'd break up with her permanently if she went out to "be free" and she chose to break up anyway, so it was kind of clear what both their intentions were. I don't think calling it a regular "break" is warranted. He ended up taking her back but she had a threesome in the meantime. I don't think her sleeping around when she's technically partnerless makes her a slut or whore or any other dumb word like that. As for the passing off as a joke, don't forget it's the dude's version of events. Maybe she said it straightfaced but he assumed it was a joke and he then acted like it was one, and she either was relieved he didn't see it as a big deal or didn't feel like getting further into it once she saw his reaction. Also I don't think it's fair for one partner to sit around waiting for the other partner to figure out what they want, so I don't think it's really cheating to gently caress other people during a break up. Just because they got together afterwards doesn't make her a cheater. edit: WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:Serious question: has anyone ever went on a break and it actually helped the relationship? I feel like anytime I read "we went on a break" it's just a prelude to a break-up or a terrible relationship
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Jan 13, 2017 16:05
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Yeah, realistically there are a bunch of steps before "go on break" to take, and "just split up you dweebs" is a better suggestion anyway by that point.
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Jan 13, 2017 16:09
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When fictional idiot and relationship destroyer Ross "I have a divorce attorney on retainer" Geller has a better conceptual understanding of what being on a break means you need to seriously reevaluate your life.
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Jan 13, 2017 16:10
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:Serious question: has anyone ever went on a break and it actually helped the relationship? I feel like anytime I read "we went on a break" it's just a prelude to a break-up or a terrible relationship Normally it's just the precursor to the end of things, but yeah, sometimes both parties need to have a short time apart and get themselves in order, and start fresh. Relationships can be hard, and sometimes you need a bit to decide if its worth pursuing.
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Jan 13, 2017 16:10
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Is it cheating if she knew he was going to take her back? The whole situation just feels like it was deliberately contrived by her to absolve herself of guilt. It's about the intent, I don't know.Clocks posted:I agree on this as well, if your relationship is bad enough that you feel like you need a "break," you may as well just break up. yeah, this, seriously don't break up and get back together, and don't take "breaks". if you are the point where you desperately want to be apart and gently caress other people your relationship is over and you're just going through the motions out of convenience and comfort (edit: obviously there are poly people and people who make open relationships work, before anyone decides to "um, actually" the "gently caress other people part". that's not who I am referring to)
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Jan 13, 2017 16:11
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lol oh 'gamers'. Why am I not surprised when that one guy was a competitive Smash player, the worst. When I say my husband has seen the ugliest side of me, what I mean is he's seen "Dark Souls induced rage" side of me. We have a system with the Soulsborne games since we both love them where the ps3/4 is just basically never off, basically playing in shifts. But I don't loving suck at videogames like SOME SCRUBS I GUESS quote:[TX] Parent's neighbor saw me let the dog out at 3am in my underwear, now she's calling police. Imagine being this tightly wound
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Jan 13, 2017 16:13
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54 40 or gently caress posted:lol oh 'gamers'. Why am I not surprised when that one guy was a competitive Smash player, the worst. lol not only is it not illegal in texas to let your dogs out in your underwear, as long as you're edit: Holy poo poo Texas is one of the four most progressive states in the country for female nudity, it's completely legal to go topless anywhere in texas men can just some rear end in a top hat cop on a power trip telling a woman what she can do with her body Mirthless fucked around with this message at 16:21 on Jan 13, 2017 |
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Jan 13, 2017 16:16
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Ride The Gravitron posted:Well yeah, he's a gamer Yes, I think the obsessive gamer to the detriment of relationships trope has been thoroughly covered. Knock off the vidya gamez dumps. A few pages back, I can't get over the phrasing in the murder house story. OP states his grandpa 'discovered' he was too old and had to be put in a home. I'm still hung up on g-pa suddenly realizing one day, 'poo poo, I got old!' Happens to us all, mate. Also, I don't particularly like the word 'slut' and never use it but to be quite frank, getting spit roasted by a couple of Jersey Bros is just about the sluttiest thing on the planet. This thread has gotten so fast lately! Even farther back, that girl who doesn't want to tell her dad and brother she has a boyfriend because then they'd assume she was getting penetrated and that would be 'girly'.... There it is kids, actual real life internalized misogyny.
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Jan 13, 2017 16:21
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tactlessbastard posted:Yes, I think the obsessive gamer to the detriment of relationships trope has been thoroughly covered. Knock off the vidya gamez dumps. I imagine with grandpa now that his wife passed he realized how much harder it is to live independently. Happens a lot when one spouse dies after being together for so long. Plus, id also probably come to that realization given the nature of it  Agreed to the internalized misogyny, that story is fuuuuuucked Mirthless posted:lol not only is it not illegal in texas to let your dogs out in your underwear, as long as you're
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Jan 13, 2017 16:27
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Mirthless posted:
Business as usual, then.
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Jan 13, 2017 16:28
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