Tiny Deer posted:

The result is that after about a month of being "open", my wife has hooked up with a few guys and has a couple more in the works, while I have thus far accomplished zero. 

quote:

My [18F] coworker [21M] choked me while no one was around, don't know what to do or go about it.Personal issues
submitted an hour ago by ontheedgeofinsanity

I've been working at this store for about 8 months, him 6. He flirts with a lot of the females at the store, including me and I have no problem with that, but with me he tends to me more aggressive, grabbing me, and play fighting with me which is not something he does with other coworkers. I play fight back as well but sometimes he becomes too aggressive and that's when I tell him to stop or that he hurt me. Yesterday, he had been more annoying than usual, constantly making comments at what I was saying, being a bit more inappropriate than usual but I wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it, until he choked me, and then apologized and tried to hug me afterwards. He was apologetic the whole night, trying to make it up to me but I don't know how to go about things. I told him I didn't like that he did that, and joked it off considering I still had many more hours left in my shift and didn't want that to ruin my mood, but still I don't feel right about it.

Tl;dr My coworker choked me during a night shift, no one was around, he was very apologetic the rest of the night but I still don't feel right.

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

My [18F] coworker [21M] choked me while no one was around, don't know what to do or go about it.

Pick posted:

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I remember when a guy could flirt without liberals crying attempted murder

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I remember when a guy could flirt without liberals crying attempted murder

Subjunctive posted:

To the licensure board, away!

Snatch Duster posted:

My Fiance of 2 Years Can't Stop Quoting Stand Ups.

tl;dr: If I have to hear the What's New Pussycat routine after sex one more time I'm gonna loving kill someone

Snatch Duster posted:

My Fiance of 2 Years Can't Stop Quoting Stand Ups.

Pick posted:

we are the knights who say "ni!"


NII NIII NIIIII NI NII

Snatch Duster posted:

My Fiance of 2 Years Can't Stop Quoting Stand Ups.

So I have kind of a dumb problem. My fiancé hardly ever does any of those little nitpicky things that drive me crazy. We've been together 3 years, living together for 6 months of it, and we got engaged last month. He does do this one thing though: he'll stop in the middle of a conversation to quote stand up routines out of the blue. He won't quote one line. He'll say as much routine as he can remember.

He will do this with just me, or in a crowd of our friends. He always uses the exact intonation of the comic. He does it loudly in a look at me voice. When he does it, all conversation stops. It doesn't matter if the people in the group are fans of the comic, or even if they know what he's talking about. Our younger, sheltered friend always looks at him like he's going crazy. I don't even think he does it to be funny! He's a very funny person, he comes up with original jokes and makes me and our friends laugh all the time, so I'm not sure why he does this. Out of our friends group he is the most outgoing, funny, talkative one and it's not like he hurts for attention from me or from us as a group.

Three nights ago he and I had just finished having sex. I was laying snuggled up against his side, talking to him about his plans for a new Pathfinder campaign. He asked me a question and I started to answer it, when he rolled to face me and said in a West Indies accent "Somebody get this niglet away from me!" and launched into a long monologue about having never heard this slur before. It's a Donald Glover routine. (Just so you know, we're white, but he doesn't normally quote race routines or comedians who do race jokes. I think he'd just watched Glover on Netflix.) I wasn't interested and I kept trying to answer his question, but he kept talking. So I rolled over to sleep and he kept going. I'm not sure how long that routine is but he was still talking when I drifted off (it doesn't take long for me but it was probably at least 4 minutes).

I've talked to him about him doing this, especially in public when it stops a multi-person conversation in its tracks, but he keeps doing it. I don't know why. Can you guys help me understand? What can I say that he'll actually listen to? Last time I was like "Is there a reason you do that? No one understands the joke and it pulls focus away from conversation." and he got really hurt.

tl;dr: If I have to hear the What's New Pussycat routine after sex one more time I'm gonna loving kill someone

Snatch Duster posted:

My Fiance of 2 Years Can't Stop Quoting Stand Ups.
Three nights ago he and I had just finished having sex. I was laying snuggled up against his side, talking to him about his plans for a new Pathfinder campaign.

Lonely Virgil posted:

She should convince her boyfriend to get tested for autism.

I'm not attempting to funny, just reminds of that aspie husband who recited a Churchill speech when his wife demanded that he interact with her.

Pick posted:

we are the knights who say "ni!"


NII NIII NIIIII NI NII

quote:

Me [24F] with my old best friend [23F], she thinks she's in an epic romance but it's obviously a very toxic situation. How can I help her realize this?[new]
submitted 4 hours ago by stephcrash

I really need some advice on this.
From the beginning: My best friend May has a lifetime STD that was given to her by some jerk she was seeing when she was young. She was pretty devastated after contracting it and thought she would never find anyone that would love her because of it. I told her all the time that it wasn't a big deal but she wouldn't believe me and decided to join a dating site for other people like her. Anyways, she ended up meeting some questionable ones but finally connected with what seemed like a really great guy. They started meeting and eventually started dating. Around the second date or so, he told her that he has some charges against him and that he's an illegal immigrant brought to our country and ditched by his parents. He met a girl and she became his surety, keeping him in line and with a roof over his head. He said they used to date but things had ended between them. Despite it, she stuck around and began falling more for him. Fast forward a few months later, Christmas. The other girl, let's call her "Carrie" contacted May and told her that they were in fact still dating, and sleeping together and he actually didn't even have the same problems as May. She was devastated but decided to move on.

About a week later, she receives a call from him in jail, apparently, Carrie was pissed that he was cheating and decided to pull bail which put him back behind bars. May told him she wasn't going to help and told him to leave her alone. Carrie finally gave him and got him out and he ran back to May after a while because his relationship with Carrie was so bad. He said he was leaving her but had to keep her happy while she was his surety or else he'd end up back in jail.

One night, he and May decide to go over drinking with his neighbours in a bad part of town and they get into an altercation and the neighbour ends up stabbing Mays "boyfriend".

May was scared for him after that, and despite everyone telling her it was a bad idea, she decided to get an apartment with him. Here is where I come in. I helped her move her things out of her parents house and she then asked me to help move his things. We pull up to his old house and he gets out of the car and starts screaming towards the neighbours house, calling him a coward, etc. I got really scared at this point because the neighbour was already capable of stabbing him, I didn't want to think of what else he would do to me and May!

I decided to take a step out of her life after that day which I know was lovely but she honestly didn't see the harm in what he was doing and I eventually want a family and I NEVER want him around them. Eight months later, I heard some things through the grape vine and I reach out to her to see how she was doing. We decide to meet.

In the last eight months, poo poo has gone down. She started by telling me that he joined Tindr about a month after they moved into their apartment and began disappearing for "weeks at a time." His excuse was that his surety needed him. In the meantime he was seeing another woman who had a couple children. "Living a double life," as she put it. She found out, ended it and went back home with her parents. She began dating a really nice guy from her past who wanted to begin a life with her. In the meantime, the other guy was sent back to jail and who else does he call but May? She "couldn't get the [dangerous guy] out of her head." She broke the nice guys heart and bailed dangerous guy out. She took over as his surety (putting her car on the line) and then found another place for them to move into.

She told me that she bailed him out so that she could make his life a living hell. She then told me that they're probably looking at buying a house and getting married at the end of the year.

The kicker? The other woman is pregnant and doesn't want to abort the baby. Oh and May also got pregnant but lost the child. Her words "I'm not trying to get pregnant, but if it happens I won't be upset." She apparently loves him so much and can't imagine a future without him. I honestly just sat and listened, stunned. What the heck? While we were sitting having coffee, he texted her calling her a loving liar because he didn't believe her when she told him where she was (which she did lie to him about). She also told me that things are really bad between them despite him saying he was going to try and make it right with her. Everything she said contradicted herself. She's with him in spite but she loves him.

tl;dr: My friend is in a very toxic relationship that she thinks is an epic romance and I'm honestly scared for her future. Is there anything I can do to help or is it too late for her?

Antivehicular posted:

Now I'm flashing back to that recent thread in E/N where a dude was "struggling with how to tell" an online friend that (he'd decided that) the fact that she had cold sores since childhood meant she had been molested and repressed the memory. That thread was a winner.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

dude c'mon you know you can't just say this poo poo and not post a link

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

dude c'mon you know you can't just say this poo poo and not post a link

Pick posted:

woogh!

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Not sure if y'all will find this interesting but I do. I'm with her - they've got some real issues but this arrangement sounds exhausting.

My [26M] girlfriend [25F] wants to move, thinking it will solve all of the issues we're currently having.

quote:

She is incredibly moody, and doesn’t have reasonable reactions to situations. Example: A few weeks ago my mum was expecting my sister to come round. My girlfriend came home from work and mum went to see who it was. When my girlfriend walked in through the door mum said something like ‘oh, you’re not Tess!’. From that point on, my gf was miserable and sulky for a good hour, because she interpreted that as ‘i’m not Tess, so your mum wasn’t happy to see me’.

quote:

She’s not really a morning person, and a little while ago my mum said ‘good morning’ to her when she got up. My girlfriend didn’t respond, so mum asked why. She told my parents that ‘I’m not a morning person, so it would be better if you just didn’t talk to me in the morning.’.

Eponine posted:

It's the kind of behavior that, if she were there for a week or two, would be rude. Considering that this supposedly her home, asking her to constantly be a guest in someone's home is cruel. The boyfriend doesn't have this hard of a time because he grew up in this environment and he knows how to act.

If they are going to ask her to "pay rent" by constantly acting like she's a guest in their home and doesn't belong there, she should bug out now because that is massively unfair. I have no idea why she agreed to this arrangement in the first place, but it seems like a nightmare.

Elfgames posted:

bringing this from the past but nobody mentioned the issures she causes


people are upset that she's being sulky for an hour after something that at least i consider to be pretty rude to do to someone

quote:

I don't really know if this is a problem or not but I felt it was worth sharing since it may or may not be a symptom of a larger problem.

Yesterday my husband and I got to talking about dating after a partner's death and I jokingly suggested I would immediately marry his cousin, who is quite handsome. My husband laughed, so I assumed he knew I was joking, but then as our laughter died down we got to talking about it seriously.

My husband, as it turns out, does not intend to date again if I die first and doesn't want me to date again either. He believes a relationship doesn't end with death and that people who truly love each other will stay loyal to one another forever. I told him that if I died first, I wouldn't want him to be sad and lonely and mourn me for the rest of his life, I would want him to move on, be happy again, and share the rest of his life with another person whom he could love and cherish, and that I expected him to want the same of me if he were to die first. He asked me if I intended to date again after his death and I answered him honestly- even though I hope we can grow old and die together, yes, if he died early, after some time I would date again and try to love again instead of wearing black and stewing on his death forever. I also mentioned that our 3 children would need a father figure and a provider. His response to this is what's particularly troubling to me, and this is it, almost verbatim:

"Look, you can date again if you want after my death. Do whatever you want. You can replace me with some other guy and have my kids call another man their dad, whatever. If that's what you want, do it. But if there's an afterlife and when you die you try to reunite with me there? Get the gently caress out. I would want absolutely nothing to do with you. Nothing at all."

I was baffled and in disbelief at what he said, but then he told me to not to worry about it and focus on the present and he wouldn't entertain any further discussion of it.

Here I am today, still wondering why my husband has these beliefs and if they mean anything about his insecurity. I love my husband deeply and if there is an afterlife, I would imagine our reunion there to be very sweet and beautiful, not him telling me to gtfo. I feel I should confront him about this but he doesn't want to discuss it any further. Do I just forget this and keep living life or probe further?

tl;dr: Husband said if I remarried after his death and we both met up in the afterlife, he would tell me to gtfo.

WampaLord posted:

Behold, the dumbest argument ever:

I [41F] had a somewhat troubling conversation with my husband [42M] about dating after the death of a partner, married 14 years.


Lady, just lie and say you'll never remarry. This is one of those white lies we all tell, like "You're the best sex partner I've ever had." Then you can do whatever if he dies, because guess what, he'll be dead.

tactlessbastard posted:

Also, the people criticizing him over the Japan ski trip are glossing over the fact she went to Fiji.

Mirthless posted:

Keep defending the 26 year old man who literally refuses to move out of his parents house and begrudges his girlfriend one hour of netflix a night