WampaLord posted:

If they had awesome amazing hobbies they shared with awesome people, they wouldn't be using a dating app, they would have found someone already through those hobbies.

WampaLord posted:

If they had awesome amazing hobbies they shared with awesome people, they wouldn't be using a dating app, they would have found someone already through those hobbies.

artichoke posted:

Untrue. Many are new to the city and are looking to make new friends.

Pick posted:

I love alcohol and wishing I were somewhere else

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

So what's your handle on bumble bb

Pick posted:

I love alcohol and wishing I were somewhere else

Pick posted:

I love alcohol and wishing I were somewhere else

quote:

Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] six months in: She doesn't take good selfies and I feel guilty about wanting her to send better ones.

My girlfriend and I have been dating about 6 months now. We love each other and I'm trying to break some old habits during our time together.

I've cut back on porn consumption because she really satisfies most of my needs. But my issue is one that I've had since I was a teenager.

I LOVE getting sexy photos from my girlfriends.

It doesn't even have to be hardcore, fully nude stuff. I love when I get a photo of my girlfriend looking into the lens with those "I want you" eyes, posing in a way that I can see all her curves. Or, if she's sending me what lingerie she got, that pose where the girl turns her hip, raises a leg slightly, has the camera pointed so her cleavage is what you're focusing on...

I'm spoiled, I'll say that. I've dated quite a few "slutty" women in my day, but now that I've met my girlfriend I really see myself settling down with her. But my issue is, now that I've gotten her comfortable enough to send me sexy photos... they're not good. And I feel like a douchebag for posting that or even thinking it.

Essentially, the photos she sends are blurry, poorly lit and taken at an angle that kinda makes her look like a prepubescent girl. I legit deleted a photo she sent because it looked like someone took a photo of their kid and cropped off the head. The angle gave her no curves, wide shoulders and stubby legs. Essentially, a high angle shot taken directly in front of the subject with dim lighting in the back.

She doesn't take a lot of photos of herself. Almost never, in fact. She didn't really use Instagram/Snapchat until she met me. And when she does take photos, she doesn't look into the lens. She looks down at her own face or mouth when taking a selfie, and therefore gets these really sad eyes... And she's not like that at all. She's beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous! It's a shame she doesn't look at the camera when taking photos.

I know it's a douchey thing to think, especially because she doesn't HAVE to send me anything at all! But, she wants to... so, how can I, appropriately and delicately, tell her how to take a photo properly? Like, I don't want to send her links to /r/GoneMild or something like that... but those are the sort of pics I'm used to getting from other women in the past.

And I'm not leaving my girlfriend because she takes poor selfies. But I just want to find a way to make her feel confident and sexy in them. I'm hoping that, through confidence, her photos could get better.

tl;dr: I feel like a douchebag because I want my girlfriend to learn to take better sexy selfies/selfies in general, but have no idea how to approach her about it.

Gaunab posted:

artichoke posted:

After reading about the Bumble BFF thing last night, I turned to my husband and mentioned it. He said, "you should sign up" lol

So I did. Here's my trip report: 95% (not an exaggeration) of women in my city mention either "adventures", "brunch", or "happy hour".

WampaLord posted:

My (23/M) girlfriend's (23/F) kpop obsession is out of control.


What in the gently caress?

WampaLord posted:

If they had awesome amazing hobbies they shared with awesome people, they wouldn't be using a dating app, they would have found someone already through those hobbies.

Yawgmoth posted:

Are you in minneapolis/st. paul because that sounds like the template from which every loving person in this city was hastily stamped from.

Pick posted:

you feel like a douchebag because you are a douchebag, hth

quote:

Every guy I'm (26 F) friends with is into my "hot" friend (24 F) and it's starting to feel hurtful

One of my best friends, "Lucy", is (I fully admit) pretty and gives off a very open, warm, sexual (I guess) vibe that guys absolutely love. She is an amazing friend but our friendship is starting to cause me some unhappiness in my other friendships with guys.

Basically since every guy who meets her falls in love with her immediately, they've started to see me as the gatekeeper or way in.

A lot of my guy friends have randomly told me how attractive she is and so on, which fine, I don't really care about. But there have been 2 instances that have really bugged me.

Over the summer, a guy I was sort of close friends with started messaging and flirting with me loads.. I was really cautious because it seemed very odd as we didn't have that kind of rs, but then eventually started to think maybe he was actually into me. I sort of opened the subject as to whom he liked and wham, turned out he's in love with my friend Lucy and wants to know if she reciprocates and goes on about his feelings and when he realises I'm getting upset at feeling misled/used basically goes "oh gosh I suspected you might have feelings for me" and basically takes a massive ego boost from it. Even when I tell him it's just that I feel misled he doesn't believe me- he thinks I am upset because I fancy him.

Then the other day, a guy I've always been really close with (but just platonically, he's always had a gf until recently anyway) asked me to hang out for the afternoon and do some fun stuff together. He takes me to some great places and I'm just basking in the good stuff of friendship when he suddenly goes "right, your friend Lucy (whom he'd met the other day) is just drop dead gorgeous" and rambles on for about 20 min about this and asking me to put in good words for him. I tell him flatly he's one of many guys to do this and that I'm not some vessel to get to Lucy but it's completely lost on him. I ask him why he doesn't ask her out and he says he knows she'd reject him if he just asked esp without my putting in some good words. Again I just feel like he had only wanted to see me to get in on Lucy- he even messaged again later that evening asking about her.

These situations become even more ridiculous given Lucy has zero interest in either guy and tbh, even objectively, (but also subjectively from Lucy's view) neither is hugely attractive (although both very clever successful and seemingly nice). Lucy also has a million things always going on with other classically "hot" and much trendier guys too.

I have my own personal life (although both guys knew I was fully single when these convos occurred) but it hurts to feel that my friends have kind of used me to try to get to a girl they know has no interest in them /whom they have little chance with. It feels like they've poo poo on our friendship and used me for their own ego gains, and with no regard to the fact that this is also pretty insulting to me- id never ramble endlessly about their friends hotness to them in case it hit a sore point or made them insecure. But I can't tell them that because then they assume I'm jealous and into them.

Advice ? Starting to feel like the "duff" here

td;lr all my guy friends are into my friend and ask me to help them get her. It's hurtful but they don't understand why.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Got a link for us, boss?

Gaunab posted:

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Minneapolis really, reeeeeaaaaally wants to be Portland, at least last time I was there

purple death ray posted:

If I get on bumble and some lonely accounts payable-rear end lady wants to go on an "adventure" I at least better get a +1 undead slaying ring out of it

Mirthless posted:

everyone should be allowed to make their own choices in life but there should definitely be something in the system to account for the fact that young people are dumb and there are a lot of sexual predators in their 30s and 40s

quote:

okay, excuse the lack of proper caption, i'm tired. this is the problem:

i've known my friend, let's call her S, for a long time. since we were kids, actually. i'll admit i had a massive crush on her, and as we grew up, i fell in love with her. she shot me down in a nice way, meaning she was very straight forward about her reasons and stated that she really loved me as a friend, and crying, told me she'd understand if i couldn't be her friend anymore. i did take a break, one year actually, and got back in touch with her because i missed my friend.

i have a girlfriend now and i do like her very much. the thing is, my best friend, S, also has a boyfriend. a much older boyfrield. a 42 year old man. who used to be our englsh teacher.

i know i'm not supposed to have any feelings over this, but i'm very upset and worried. i have no proof that he's bad to her, but he must be, because what 42 year old man would date a 23 year old girl?

when she introduced us, i did my best to hide my surprise, and i have touched the subject topic with her. of course i disguised it as casual chat rather than concern. i asked her if she was happy, how did she end up dating a former teacher, asked her if it wasn't weird that he's, again, her teacher and knows her since she was 15.

she told me she's very happy, and that's he's nice and that the teacher thing barely comes up or bothers them.

truth be told, there was nothing suspicious about them back then. he never treated her any differently, never preyed on her or any other student. in fact, we (the class) used to love his classes because he was really laid back but not in a 'trying to be your friend' way. of course that doesn't mean anything, really, he could be hiding it.

so last week we went to the beach for a little getaway. me, my gf, S and our former teacher, let's call him K.

we barely saw them, they stayed inside their room all the time. when they did get out, they'd go to the beach where he would sit on the sand, read and watch as S dived in the ocean. it was weird. one day i noticed a bruise on S's thigh and i asked her about it, but she got flustered and tried to change the subject. she made it seem like it was a sex bruise, and yeah, it could be, but it also could be something else. if it is something else, she wouldn't say it.

this is where i think i hosed up real bad:

on the last day there, i went to wake her up because we were running late. i was about to knock on the door but i could hear them in there. yes, they were clearly having sex and i could hear her perfectly. it made me furious, because this isn't the S i know. she's giving in to a creep who i know is a creep (more on that to follow), she's disrespecting people over it (we were a little late, like i said) and she just won't tell me the truth. i got really angry and banged on the door with my fist and realized what i'd done, so i sprinted out of the hallway and into the elevator.

they still took 20 minutes to come down. when they did, S and my gf went to the checkout in the hotel and i was left with K. i tried making small talk, and he'd nod, but wouldn't say much. when i saw they were almost done checking us out, i stretched out my hand to him (we were leaving in separate cars) and he shook my hand but didn't let me go, then he told me that he knew it was me at the door and that he knew what i was trying to do and that i should stop. he let go of my hand, and i was so taken back that i didn't know what to say. he finsihed it off saying he wasn't playing with S. i scoffed at that and saw that the girls were approaching us, so i thought best to leave it at that.

and now here i am. they went away and i haven't seen S much, except she does talk to me the same way she did before, so i'm guessing K didn't say anything to her.

what do i do? i know he's a creep, he's got be. how do i save my friend?

tl;dr: best friend is in a relationship with former teacher. i have a feeling she's in trouble but no proof and i don't know how to talk to her about it. please help.

quote:

i'm not jealous, i don't how many times i have to say it. i should never have put it in the post i had feelings for her. i tookd a break, we didn't see each other for a long while, my romantic feelings for my friend died there.

i'm concerned. the mere fact he's 42 is already worrying enough, but S was never like this before, she was never that 'into' someone, she was always distant and cold when it came to relationships. she broke a lot of hearts because she didn't want a relationship and now she's dating a 42 year old man.

i wasn't furious about the sex, i was furious because she might be suffering abuse.

Pick posted:

They used to refer to themselves as the Portland of the midwest .

Yawgmoth posted:

lol what's this "used to" business? Mpls loving loves to compare itself to various west coast cities. Except the only thing we really have in common with any of those cities is irritating levels of gentrification pushing everything interesting out of the city while driving up prices. Great, another loving chain restaurant, we totally needed that instead of the amazing Thai place run by an actual Thai family!

I moved here to be closer to my friends and they all moved away from this burning as of a city.

Zzulu posted:

Sorry you are 30 years old and I am 40, it is against the law that we have sex. We will go to jail if we have sex.
- goon utopia

Fullhouse posted:

just give her some photography tips, why does this need to be complicated? she's just bad at pictures

Pick posted:

I do low angle 'cause I don't need tricks to look good

Yawgmoth posted:

Are you in minneapolis/st. paul because that sounds like the template from which every loving person in this city was hastily stamped from.

Andrast posted:

Are you saying that my hobby of staying at home playing video games isn't amazing?

Pick posted:

i am so glad we now have a Perkin's nearby bhgjhfsodifdi

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

it's legitimately more interesting than the vast majority of dating site interests, albeit still less so than wild fringey thrill rides like, IDK, stamp collecting.

artichoke posted:

Perkins was the poo poo.

When I was in high school.

In the Midwest.

In the 90s.

Pvt.Scott posted:

For me, a person's hobby or passion isn't necessarily interesting because it's something I'm interested in too, but rather if they light up and get excited and all stoked to be talking about it. I'll chat about stamps if somebody's jazzed up about it. I might learn something.

Yawgmoth posted:

Also good for hangovers in college. Also in the midwest. Early 2000s.

Yawgmoth posted:

Also good for hangovers in college. Also in the midwest. Early 2000s.

Pick posted:

That said, Grand Szechuan in Bloomington. You're welcome.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Who knew young people were so into windsurfing in between their meetings for their 3 startups