Mirthless posted:

why are you comparing a crime where somebody is victimized by another individual to a situation where two consenting adults did something gross?

Moridin920 posted:

He didn't say that whatsoever. Stop it. Both of you.

zakharov posted:

Pick and Mirthless please start your own cage match, the bonesaw is ready

zakharov posted:

Pick and Mirthless please get your own thread thank you

Tolkien minority posted:

yes mirthless sucks huge donkey nuts but can we please not make every other post in here about him, thats just doin exactly what he wants.


For content, a classic game of "buryin the lede"

[26M] very depressed about [6mo] marriage. [22F] wants nothing to do with me.

Pick posted:

i am ok if an incestuoid feels bad about doing their incest. i am ok if they are sad i do not pity them. as in the case of pedophiles, i feel i have a finite amount of pity in my heart and frankly im tired of being told it has to be spend on sex creepos instead of baby kittens whose mommy cat didnt wake up because the car came by so fast and they are meowing because they are hungry and they cant conceptualize that they are alone

Grevling posted:

That woman needs to admit to herself that she's not attracted to that man and shouldn't have married him. And he needs to
Why did they get married in the first place if he noticed she was becoming colder towards him three months beforehand? Nine months together is way too soon to think about marriage anyway imo

Werong Bustope posted:

the kittens are safe now though right? Someone took them and and fed them and put them in a nice fleecy cardboard box and now they're in a warm happy pile, right?

Tolkien minority posted:

yes mirthless sucks huge donkey nuts but can we please not make every other post in here about him, thats just doin exactly what he wants.


For content, a classic game of "buryin the lede"

[26M] very depressed about [6mo] marriage. [22F] wants nothing to do with me.

WampaLord posted:

I didn't say that he "said it was disgusting"

He said it was pitiable. I said it was not pitiable. Try to keep up.

E: To be ultra clear, I get that Mirthless keeps saying "It's gross and I don't condone it." I find it gross that he even feels pity for them.

quote:

You do not have to act on hormones. In any situation.

"Feeling an attraction" does not equal "Must try to gently caress"

Grevling posted:

That woman needs to admit to herself that she's not attracted to that man and shouldn't have married him. And he needs to
Why did they get married in the first place if he noticed she was becoming colder towards him three months beforehand? Nine months together is way too soon to think about marriage anyway imo

china bot posted:

Tolkien minority posted:

For content, a classic game of "buryin the lede"

[26M] very depressed about [6mo] marriage. [22F] wants nothing to do with me.

Play posted:

The best part of this by far is during intercourse this girl is still spewing memes "such sex, much wow, so doge" hahaha. I've read that one before and it really stuck in my mind to imagine what it would be like to have your girlfriend say something like that mid-stroke

Pick posted:

Straight White Shark posted:

I mean I'd hope my partner had a funnier sense of humor than that but if you're not trying to randomly get each other to crack up in the middle of sex you're doing it wrong imo

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

So you don't drink coffee, never eat fast food or go to a restaurant, and don't drink alcohol?

Are you Ned Flanders?

quote:

Sorry, this is very long. I made a list.
Name calling (stupid, oval office, lazy, bitch, etc.)
Repeatedly ignore my feelings even when I'm obviously in distress.
Use past occurrences in my life against me to belittle/humiliate me.
Burning bridges with family members (making me feel lonely) (because i'd need money and hes not working or making me “take back” attempts at trying to go home.
Once put his hands around my neck “to calm me down”
Jealous of other guys talking to me, even ones that are just friends.
Making me feel like I cannot have male friends that aren't HIS friends.
Once through me off the bed on to concrete because he was mad and didn't want to sleep next to me (At 2 AM)
Through food I cooked on to the ground violently because I didn't make it right.
Depriving me of sleep because I didn't work enough for him (even though hes not working at all) or because he thinks I should stay awake because HE'S awake.
Makes me add ex's to facebook only to get angry at me for having a message that they sent me or for mild conversations in which he coerced.
Completely ignoring my distress over a very emotionally draining and hurtful job, and making me feel forced to do that job.
Convincing me that job is better because I get to stay at home with him.
Yelling and slamming things when I show signs of being upset (crying is a big no no which causes him to slam things in front of me, yell, and curse at me)
Once through an ashtray down in front of me because I was crying, broke it, made me clean it up
Food I make is never good enough, or is gross, or is too cold, or is the wrong time to cook it, etc.
Making me feel stupid over above things.
Repeating things back to me I said sarcastically to make me feel stupid/small.
Gets enraged, tells me to leave at the slightest bit of criticism.
Using me as an excuse for everything he does. I'm always wrong, or he doesn't work/cook/chores because I don't do what's expected of me.
Belittles and puts down my friends and family to isolate me
Afraid to talk about things that happen for fear he will kick me out.
Makes me feel like I have to earn love/attention as opposed to being equal partner to me.
Forces me to go everywhere by myself even if I have to walk miles to get there and back carrying food/items/etc.
Puts down all my hobbies/favorite things.
Tells me to leave and move out if I say anything he doesn't like.
If I try to leave, he gets mad and makes me upset. Makes me call off arrangements for leaving.
Makes me feel like I cannot leave him because he is not financially stable enough to be on his own. IE I would make him homeless if I left him.
If we agree I should leave, I always owe him some random sum of money that I don't have or some item I can't replace. (unreal expectation, or expectation which stall me being able to leave)
Makes me feel like my hometown is lovely and he won't ever go see my family with me.
Does little for himself in terms of cooking/laundry/or getting himself water/coffee.
Says he asks me to do those things for him because I “don't do the things I'm supposed to do.”
Have complained for a year that my job was causing me severe depression and stress, expects me to work more when I bring it up. Tells me to just leave if I don't like how it is.
No concept of compromise what-so-ever.
I'm always wrong no matter what. Feels the need to be combatant with everything I say even if it's insignificant. (We once fought over the fact that I liked American cheese, and that means I'm a degenerate and not “classy” like he is)
Playfully calls me bitch, and other names “jokingly” even when I say “bitch is not my name”
Throws me to the wolves whenever we're in a bad situation. Makes me handle all stressful matters. (Like going to court for an eviction) See it makes sense because it's my fault that I'm having a hard time with work, right? Of course it is.
Tells me I'm a loser, and that I'm crazy constantly if I mention this might be abuse.
Says I'M the abusive one and projects it onto me if I'm upset about anything. If I'm crying it's because I'm ABUSING him and “ruining his life/day”
Tells me I'm a baby when I'm upset, that I'm spoiled, that he's “older and knows better”
If something needs to be done, I am expected to do it. Always. Very few exceptions.
Only acknowledged my depression in ways which affect HIM, and make me feel as if I'm purposefully depressed.
Tells me I don't “deserve” to go to school full time because he can't go, or because his family (mother) is abusing/controlling HIM and it is my fault because I live with them. Even though I still was the only one working during this time too. Full time school, work all night, sleep for 3 hours, every day 24/7 and get told its my “choice” and that I'm SELFISH. I would come home to them both screaming at me.
Makes me feel bad about spending money on food/personal items. (even calling me fat for it)
Purposefully silent treats me or won't eat out of spite. (or the food I bought/made wasn't “good” enough) then makes me feel bad when he's hungry and I have eaten.
Yells/follows me when I try to leave or cool off. Forcing me to come inside or go with him.
Switches in between being very kind/loving to being mean/agressive. Essentially confusing me to no end.
Makes me feel like if I just did all the things he asked of me all the time, he would love me and everything would be fine. Once again, my fault.
Does things such as order food, not like the food, and make ME call and complain about it. Gets mad when I don't comply. Says it's because I “don't give a poo poo”
Tell me when and if I can sleep in our bed if he's mad at me. If he says I have to stay up all night because I didn't work enough, have no choice, will not allow me to sleep even if I try to anyway.
Makes me feel like I can't go to mutual friends for help because they are HIS friends.
Makes me feel bad if I tell ANYONE what is going on, to the point where I no longer have anyone to talk to.
Has unreal expectations financially or emotionally. Making me insecure when I cannot reach these “goals”
Love him more than he can see, he doesn't realize I do everything just to try to please him/get approval.
Complains I never dress up or get nice for him (even though I have tried), and he never does this for me.
I am literally 2500 miles from the nearest relative or friend I can stay with. I can't just leave for a night, it's not easy nor do I have the money to just “leave” and he knows that. Hates me working at night because I'm procrastinating. (which I get) but I'm procrastinating because I dread the work I have to do. Like, suicidal dread would rather be knee deep in horse poo poo kind of dread.
I sometimes agree to do things, because I feel I have no choice, emotionally manipulated.
Threatens to call the police on me ALL THE TIME, but gets angry if I do the same.
If police are called by someone else, gets mad/takes it out on me for MAKING him yell at me.
Deletes me or his relationship status from facebook to embarrass me, show off in front of my family/friends.
I really don't want to leave him, but it can't be like this? I genuinely do care for him, and don't want to leave or leave him in a bad situation financially, what do I do?
tl;dr: I think I'm in an abusive relationship, and I don't know what to do.

ArbitraryC posted:

I don't even really understand what problem the guy is trying to post about. I get that he's saying she doesn't want to spend time with him but I don't really see how that relates to the rest of the post, like randomly bringing up chores and work and how will therapy fix her not liking him.

Nazzadan posted:

Hm...I think she's just being overly dramatic

quote:

Public transit operator 1, Pregnant woman on the sidewalk 0 (self.childfree)

I'm a college student & I use public transit to get to class every day.
I'm friends with a few of the drivers (been over to their house for dinner, met their kids, etc...) so I chat them up sometimes if the bus isn't too full. Now, they can ONLY pick up/drop off passengers at their appointed stop locations and can ABSOLUTELY NOT pick people up off the road who try to flag them down (I don't know the exact reason, but I think safety and liability issues may have something to do with it.)
As I was getting out of my morning class and on my way home, I saw a pregnant woman with 2 of her other kids walking down the sidewalk on the right side (passenger side) of the street. She seriously starts waving and shouting for the driver to stop! Nowhere near a designated stop, a few cars already behind us, and seriously against the rules: NO, they are not going to make an exception for just for YOU! I can see her waving and hear her shouting, but the driver just mumbled "nope" and kept on truck'n (... or would it be bus'n?) and the woman flipped us off as we went past.
Weirder yet, this was just a minute or so away from an actual bus stop, so I just don't understand what she could possibly have been thinking.
It even says on the bus itself in bold text that under no circumstances are they allowed to pick people up between stops. Seriously, you're not exempt from the rules just because you chose to breed. You can wait at the proper bus stop just like I DO every day.

The Whoreax posted:

I can't remember the last time I bought any of those.

quote:

There is a friend (22M) in my (21M) friend group who is extremely weird, unsociable, nerdy and awkward to be around, and I don't know how to tell my friends that I really do not like him without sounding elitist.

Ive been friends with my current friend group for maybe 5 years now, its about 15-20 people give or take, with some of them closer to our group and some not as close, some people come and some people go, but the base like 8~ people have stayed the same since we were in high school.

So this guy, Yuri, we have know him for a few years now, he has always been on the 'outside' of our friend group pretty much. Recently, maybe in the past 6 months, he has gotten closer and closer to us, to the point where he is now pretty much there nearly every time we hang out. It was like 3~ or so friends who kept on asking for him to come through to hang out with us, and at first we were like... okay whatever he can come. But its been a while now, and I think he just kind of is apart of our group now. Nobody wanted to tell those 3 friends that he couldnt come, just because honestly there is no blatant reason to dislike Yuri without sounding like a douchebag.

Hes the thing, and i hope i dont sound super pretentious when I say this... Yuri is EXTREMELY weird. He has hair down to his back, he wears pajamas outside constantly with a Dragonforce sweater, he is maybe 100+ pounds overweight, acne EVERYWHERE... I dont mean to be rude, but he is a very stereotypical neckbeard. But its not only that, he is also extremely weird and awkward to be around, he doesnt really know how to hold a conversation, he is quiet when he shouldnt be and too loud and confident when he should be quiet, he CONSTANTLY interrupts people to tell some bullshit story, he sometimes will like, demand our attention to tell some story that lasts 10 minutes to tell, he laughs at things that nobody else laughs at, he seemingly only talks about video games, he can be extremely weird to talk to about things, he lies about CRAZY stories that nobody would believe.

Its just... he kind of ruins our group in a lot of ways. Everytime he comes its like... oh drat now we have to deal with Yuri now. And sometimes he brings his friends to hang out, 2 guys, both of them exactly like him. Its so, so difficult to deal with this. I do feel bad for him, and I know this is like his first friend group that actually does stuff besides play video games and poo poo so im sure this is a SUPER exciting time for him.

We went to a rooftop party like a week ago with 5 friends, it was fun, we were dancing, smoking and drinking, there were beautiful women and it was just a great time. Then Yuri came with 3 of his friends (not sure who invited him) and all of the sudden nobody at the party talked to anyone in our group. The divide was painfully obvious. Yuri got really drunk and just started shouting random bullshit, and it was just so painful to witness, i literally could not stop cringing. People were looking at us like 'who the gently caress invited these guys'. At one point, I tried to seperate myself from the group and talk to other people at the party, and Yuri tried getting my attention and I just couldnt help it, I lashed out at him a tiny bit. Not like bad, but I was just like "yo can you NOT see that im talking here, go the gently caress over there" and I felt like a bully. Ive never done something like that really, but something about him just made me do that.

And im not alone in my dislike for Yuri. Half the people in our group thinks he is kind of wack, hes just... a loser. There really isnt any other way to put it. I want to not be pretentious and say that we accept someone who isnt very attractive or sociable into our group, but its way more difficult than i realized. Just him being there seemingly lowers our standing and social status by half. God this really does sound pretentious. I never really THOUGHT about stuff like social standing or anything like that until he came along, but now whenever he is there its extremely present. We go to parties and nightclubs and bars and warehouse raves and poo poo, and these things are filled with people who are like... you know, not socially underdeveloped or unattractive.

I honestly feel like this whole ordeal is making me feel like pretentious, but i dont WANT to feel this way. I wish I could just accept someone like him for who he is but i cant. The guy wore pajamas to a nightclub.

What do I do? How do I get this guy out of our group without hurting anyones feelings?

tl;dr: Theres a friend in our group who is a very stereotypical neckbeard type person, and i dont know how to tell our other friends that i dont like him around without sounding like an elitist rear end in a top hat.

Werong Bustope posted:

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I haven't brought you anything from childfree in a while


Ha! That'll show that filthy mombie who knew she probably wasn't going to make it to the bus stop on time!

quote:

I've been dating BF for about 7 months. We work for the same company in different departments. He is older than me, if that makes a difference.

I am pretty heavily tattooed- 3/4 sleeves on both arms and a slew of others. I make sure to always cover them at work to the best of my ability because we work in a pretty formal environment, but sometimes one or 2 will show (the tops of my feet when I wear flats, etc). Generally though, they are always covered. BF told me that he "extremely dislikes" tattoos and that I'm not allowed to get anymore. This was said jokingly, but he's repeated it several times.

Frankly, I want more. He knows this. I don't know if getting them anyway would be disrespectful. Another issue I've had is that he's always harping on me to wear more colorful clothes. I haven't asked for his style/fashion advice; he one day told me out of the blue that I look like I'm going to a funeral whenever I'm at work (I actively idolize Wednesday Addams' wardrobe).

Now, the issue is that I want to lose weight and become more fit. I have a desk job and generally feel like crap everyday being so sedentary. He is vehemently against this and insists that he likes my booty and everything else. While the appreciation is nice, I want to feel and look better. I'm beginning to question why he keeps feeling the need to mold me to his standards. I've never asked (or forbid) anyone ive dated to do anything modifying their appearance. I just think it's strange.

We joke around quite a bit and are often snarky to each other, but I never touch on his personal appearance. Am I being too sensitive? Is this a weird controlling issue that he has?

Tl;Dr: bf doesnt want me to get more tattoos and wants me to dress differently. Is now against me getting more fit, claiming to like my body the way it is. Am I being too sensitive?

quote:

When I was 21, I dated a guy who was too old for me. Kevin was 37, an older student in my university program. I'd just gotten out of a bad relationship and thought Kevin was great. Of course, it was red flags all over the place, but I was so naive back then that stupid me didn't question this.

Kevin and I dated for 6 months. He quickly told me that he loved me and asked me (pretty aggressively) to move to his home city to be with him after graduation. Great, right? Still ignoring the red flags.

Except in my last semester, I was diagnosed with cancer and my world kind of fell apart after that. The day I got my diagnosis, Kevin made out with another woman at a party in front of me, and I left the party in tears. He broke up with me that night by email saying that we weren't a good fit anymore because of my impending medical emergency, that he was only with me because he took pity on me after the end of my previous abusive relationship, and by the way, all our friends thought I was annoying and no one liked me. I felt punched in the gut.

My memories of that week are a blur. I had to drop out in the middle of the semester and get a medical leave of absence with the university. In the meantime, Kevin would follow me around campus demanding to know why I wouldn't talk to him and that I forgive him.

I remember looking at him like he was insane. "So you're apologizing for what you did?" I asked.

"Of course not, I didn't do anything wrong," he answered. "But it's not fair that you're angry at me like this."

I told him to go to hell and just focused on getting my paperwork squared away and moving back home for what became a lot of chemo. Honestly this period of my life was a loving nightmare and I don't like thinking about it. I became suicidal and was diagnosed with depression, so I was seeing a psychiatrist while getting chemo. I lost most of my friends because I guess people didn't know how to deal with my illness. A few stuck by me and those people are not only still my friends today but now I even work with some of them.

In the months after I left school, Kevin would badger me over text saying he didn't know what happened between us and demanding again that I forgive him. I was in the middle of more chemo so I told him I forgave him just so he'd leave me alone. As soon as I "forgave" him, he vanished and I never heard from him again. I blocked him on Facebook just to be sure he couldn't slink back.

Later that year, between chemo, I run into this strange woman at a university event off campus. I've never met her before, have no idea who she is. A bunch of students and alumni are having dinner together and she's talking about her fiancé.

Guess who it is? Kevin, of course.

I'm confused because a few months of dating is a short time to know someone before you get engaged, but what do I know since Kevin was very fast in telling me he loved me and asking me to move in with him. But when I ask how long they've been together, she says something crazy like three years.

At this point I'm in total shock and realize Kevin was having an affair with me, that our whole time together was a lie. I had no idea. I left in a daze and cried in the parking lot. In hindsight I should have warned this woman but at the time I was in shock, sick, not interested in starting drama at a table full of strangers, and I was exhausted. I thought later of finding her on Facebook but I didn't know her name and I worried telling her would start another round of harassment from Kevin, so I dropped it.

So the good news is, I'm obviously still here and happily in remission. Two years after leaving school, I finally felt human again and went back to finish my degree. By then I was doing really good. Made new friends, finished therapy, started my career. Life is totally different now. I'm well known in my field and have been invited back to my university as a guest of honor. My professors want me to speak to the students and I'll have a chance to network with other visiting alumni who are a big deal in my industry. It's an amazing opportunity and I was looking forward to it.

Only problem is, I saw Kevin's on the guest list, and so is a woman sharing his last name who I assume is his now wife. When I saw it, my heart sank. The guest list is small, maybe 50 alumni, so we're bound to run into each other. I can't NOT go because this event is important and I already promised I'd be there. Plus, I mean, I don't want to avoid doing things out of fear of running into this rear end in a top hat from my past.

How do I handle running into Kevin again? Do I treat him like a stranger? What if he tries hugging me like we're old friends? It's something he would do. I also have no clue if I should say something to his wife. I don't want to open this can of worms from my past. I'm losing sleep over this and don't know what to do.

tl;dr: Got cheated on by an older guy in college. He broke up with me over email and then harassed me for months. I later found out he was dating someone else while we were together. I may run into him soon. How do I handle this?

quote:

Well, thanks for your feedback, guys. Wanted to give you an update.

So something I failed to mention in my last post is that my mom used to teach at my alma mater before she recently retired. She didn't know about my brief relationship with Kevin years ago. After writing my post, I decided to share with her everything that happened.

Mom immediately got this weird look on her face and said she knew exactly who I was talking about because she used to teach in my department. She said, "I don't think Kevin will be a problem for you." When I asked why, she said, "Trust me, you'll see. That guy is kind of a loser."

So I went to the event, and it was amazing. I took some of the advice here and brought a girlfriend so I would never be alone in case Kevin tried to pull something. I met a bunch of alumni and ran into a couple people who I lost touch with when I got sick. Everybody were thrilled to hear how well I'm doing, and my speech got an ovation when I was done.

Anyway, Kevin showed up with his wife. I don't know how to say this without sounding mean, but he's gotten fat and is going bald. I was surprised at how old he looked until someone told me he's almost 50 now (which means he lied to me when we were dating and said he was younger than he really was). Also, I heard from old classmates that Kevin is still studying for his degree, plus working nights as a security guard now.

Kevin was the only person at the event who avoided me. Like, it was obvious. I thought he was going to avoid me all night until I accidentally found myself alone for 30 seconds, which is when he nervously approached me to congratulate me. I smiled, said thanks, and kept moving. He tried cracking a dumb joke to me later but I just ignored him, which seemed to frustrate him. Overall I just spent the night focused on the people around me and forgot he existed.

Interestingly, he managed to repeatedly piss off a bunch of people (including his wife and one of the deans) throughout the night with stupid comments. It got so bad that people started a running joke about what an insensitive moron Kevin was.

I'm so glad I went and didn't allow one jerk from my past to make me hide. I had a great time and was surprised at how unafraid I felt when I saw Kevin again. The memories from that time of my life were so traumatic but now he's just some jackass I once knew. I'm not sure now WTF I ever saw in him or why I was ever scared of him.

Oh, and by the way, I recently started a great new job that came with a big raise, which means I'll have my student loans paid off this year. Life is good. Thanks for your help, Reddit.

tl;dr: Ran into rear end in a top hat ex and realized he can't hurt me. Had a fun time meeting people and ignoring him.

Werong Bustope posted:

quote:

Except in my last semester, I was diagnosed with cancer and my world kind of fell apart after that. The day I got my diagnosis, Kevin made out with another woman at a party in front of me, and I left the party in tears. He broke up with me that night by email saying that we weren't a good fit anymore because of my impending medical emergency, that he was only with me because he took pity on me after the end of my previous abusive relationship, and by the way, all our friends thought I was annoying and no one liked me. I felt punched in the gut.

quote:

Anyway, Kevin showed up with his wife. I don't know how to say this without sounding mean, but he's gotten fat and is going bald. I was surprised at how old he looked until someone told me he's almost 50 now (which means he lied to me when we were dating and said he was younger than he really was). Also, I heard from old classmates that Kevin is still studying for his degree, plus working nights as a security guard now.

Kevin was the only person at the event who avoided me. Like, it was obvious. I thought he was going to avoid me all night until I accidentally found myself alone for 30 seconds, which is when he nervously approached me to congratulate me. I smiled, said thanks, and kept moving. He tried cracking a dumb joke to me later but I just ignored him, which seemed to frustrate him. Overall I just spent the night focused on the people around me and forgot he existed.

Interestingly, he managed to repeatedly piss off a bunch of people (including his wife and one of the deans) throughout the night with stupid comments. It got so bad that people started a running joke about what an insensitive moron Kevin was.

I'm so glad I went and didn't allow one jerk from my past to make me hide. I had a great time and was surprised at how unafraid I felt when I saw Kevin again. The memories from that time of my life were so traumatic but now he's just some jackass I once knew. I'm not sure now WTF I ever saw in him or why I was ever scared of him.

Ask Me For Warez posted:

They should put her in a sport with absolutely zero homosexuals, like soccer or softball.

quote:

The only thing that bugs me is that my brother was making comments to my son about "asking mommy for some tampons."

quote:

Anyways now that you get some background on the pet situation here is the problem. The guinea pigs had babies ahwile ago. Both her & her bf said they'd get rid of em since the cage is much too small. Its been 3 months since they've been saying that and nothing has changed. In 3 months she has changed their cage about twice!! Seriously their cage is caked with poo poo & piss. One of the babies died because of it and she left it in their for the night!! Its disgusting and I've said something multiple times about it, to which she says I can do something to help. Um no, they aren't my pets. I already go the extra mile and feed/water them because she let them go without water for 3 days!!

quote:

He is already 6 feet long.

Cumslut1895 posted:

wow people on this forum really love the idea that ugly people don't exist.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

[Update] My son (4M) wants his birthday party theme to be "Shimmer and Shine" (girl theme). Hubby and I are Okay with it, but everyone else is telling us we shouldn't.(26F) (34M)

quote:

Anyway, come party time, literally NOBODY gave a drat lol.

Mirthless posted:

missing the bus when you depend on public transportation really sucks.