/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Here's two stories that (I like to imagine) are clearly two sides of the same heartwarming brouhaha.

quote:

I'm worried my [23F] estranged mother [50F] is going to ruin my uncle's[56M] wedding because he is a Catholic priest.
Non-Romantic
submitted 4 months ago by controversialwedding

Quick bit of background:
My mother abandoned me when I was 13. Her mother, my gran, had just died and her mental health collapsed and she cheated on my stepfather. She was abusive when I was younger (many people suspect she extended/exacerbated a chronic illness I had as a child for the attention) and she was just generally a bad mother. I have dealt with most of the fallout from her abuse & abandoning me, but we are no contact and have been for a long time.

My Uncle Tim (my mum's brother) is a catholic priest. We got back in touch a few years ago and we're not very close, but we visit each other once or twice a year and keep in touch otherwise. He recently called me with some amazing surprise news - he's leaving the priesthood and moving in with the woman he loves 'Aileen' [mid50s? F]. The wedding is in December and I'm so excited for them! It was pretty clear he wasn't happy in the priesthood and he seems much, much happier now.

He was nervous before he told me and really surprised when I congratulated him and he told me my mother wouldn't be there if I was worried about that. I told him that it was ok for him to invite her if he wanted to, I'd definitely still come to the wedding and be civil. It turns out she's completely disgusted by what he's doing. Their mother, my late gran, was a very devout Catholic and was extremely proud of Uncle Tim when he became a priest. My mother had told Uncle Tim that it was an insult to her memory that he was leaving the priesthood, called his fiance a whore and said "You're both going to rot in hell for what you've done."

Even when I was younger and she was more stable, my mother would ruin family events. She's slapped people, drank too much and always ended up causing a scene and we'd have to leave. I spent a lot of time at family events as a kid holding her hair, or in the bathroom with her when she was crying, or just trying to distract her. She was sloppy and loud at a cousin's wedding (barfed on her buffet plate!!!) and that cousin has understandably never spoken to us again. That was when she was happy about what was being celebrated - I have no idea what she'll do if she shows up at a wedding she thinks is evil.

Practically, I'm not sure what I can do. Uncle Tim had already posted her invitation when he called her, though after her reaction he sent her an email rescinding the invitation. What should I do if she does show up? Would it be worth writing her a letter asking her not to come - she has tried to contact me a lot in the past so I think she might listen to me? Tim seems so much happier now that he's quitting being a priest and he seems to really love Aileen who I only spoke to briefly but is very sweet and funny. I do not want her to ruin this for him and I guess a part of me still feels responsible for keeping her in check. Any advice would be really helpful, thank you.

tl;dr: My uncle is leaving the priesthood to get married. My mother has a history of being terrible at family events and she thinks the marriage is wrong and evil. Is there anything I can do to stop her from showing up? How should I deal with it if she does show up? Thank you.

quote:

[Non-Romantic] Should I [19F] tell my mother [53F] that I know about her secret 9y relationship with a Catholic priest [60M]?
Non-Romantic
submitted 6 months ago by Throwaway_6823

This is a weird one, but hear me out.

So, my (now 19F) parents divorced in 2004 and my dad remarried. My mum (now 53F) took this fairly hard and developed a drinking problem, which was made worse by her new boyfriend Paul (now 55M) who was also a heavy drinker. They eventually split in 2006 but have remained good friends.

In 2007, Mum's behaviour began to change. She stopped drinking and suddenly became a lot happier. Around this time a new priest, Sean (now 60M) joined our diocese. Mum is a devout Catholic so saw quite a bit of him at church, although mostly he worked at our local dock as a priest for seafarers. He started coming round for dinner occasionally, but over a year or so this became at least once a week. Mum said that her own mother (deceased) used to have their local priest over for dinner 'all the time' when she was younger, but still insisted that me and my sister Emma (now 17F) didn't tell anyone about him coming over.

Soon, Mum began to spend all her free time volunteering at the docks with Sean. She'd never expressed interest in this kind of thing before so even at the time I thought it was odd. When he came for dinner she'd hang onto his every word. Then he began to take all three of us out for dinner on special occasions. Sometimes Mum would talk about going out with 'a friend' in the evenings, and I'd often accidentally find out it was Sean. Flowers began to arrive on her birthday from 'someone secret', yet she never seemed surprised and I'm 99% certain they're from him.

That's all speculation, of course. But in around 2012, Mum was driving and asked me to pick up her mobile which was ringing. The caller name said 'Summer' yet when I picked it up, Sean was on the other end, asking about dinner. So he's saved under a false name on her phone. 'Summer' rings and texts Mum every day, still, but I've never told her I know that it's Sean. On top of this, her password for just about everything is 'Summer2007' - 2007 being the year they met. But no matter what else is speculated, a priest is saved on her mobile under a false name and they talk every day. So I'm 100% sure something secret is going on.

Mum's an attractive lady and has had plenty of offers from men over the years but always turns them away. Recently Paul kissed her and she was furious with him, but said she hadn't spoken to him in years when Sean asked about him later on. She's also super paranoid about deleting emails and messages, and when she got rid of her old phone, asked me how to destroy the memory card 'in case anyone found it'. Recently she accidentally butt-dialed me and left me a 3 minute voicemail where you can clearly hear Sean's voice, and she texted me about 5 times asking what exactly I could hear in the message.

Essentially, there's no doubt in my mind that they're at least romantically involved. But Catholic priests can't have any kind of romantic or sexual relationship, which is probably why nobody knows. I've kept quiet for six years, but now I'm older it's becoming increasingly awkward to play dumb. I haven't even said anything to Emma though we're extremely close, which hurts me a lot. A couple of times I think Mum's come close to telling me; the other night over tea, she asked if I'd be surprised if she was in a relationship (Emma was out). I said no, and we shared some long awkward eye contact, but then she changed the subject.

If I say something, though, things will only get more awkward. I'll still have to keep it to myself and probably won't even be allowed to tell Emma. Sean's a nice guy and I don't want to ruin anything for him and Mum by making things awkward when he comes over.

Should I tell her I know? Should I tell Emma any of this? I know it's 'none of my business' but the secrecy and awkwardness is starting to make my relationship with my mum suffer.
TL;DR: For 6 years I've known my mum has some sort of romantic relationship with a Catholic priest and the awkwardness is becoming overwhelming - should I tell her I know or carry on playing dumb?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

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# ? May 16, 2024 09:14

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

I'm glad to be the dumb R&D engineer who some of you get to babysit during business trips.

Usually I'm just drunk in a hotel room though

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:36

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

My mother had told Uncle Tim that it was an insult to her memory that he was leaving the priesthood, called his fiance a whore and said "You're both going to rot in hell for what you've done."

super good Christian right there lol. super devout.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:37

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Moridin920 posted:

super good Christian right there lol. super devout.

Aren't catholics supposed to like, extra not wish hell on other people? Like only God can judge peeps and stuff?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:41

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Bubblyblubber posted:

[Non-Romantic] Should I [19F] tell my mother [53F] that I know about her secret 9y relationship with a Catholic priest [60M]?

Having one less person to sneak around would only make mom's life easier, right?

So would not having an affair with a catholic priest, but hey :shrug:

Bubblyblubber posted:

Aren't catholics supposed to like, extra not wish hell on other people? Like only God can judge peeps and stuff?

the underlying tone of catholicism is generally pretty judgemental and as a result the culture of a lot of churches can be a real den of vipers. this is true of a lot of religious communities in the US but the weight of guilt makes it really common among catholics

e: not meant to be a slam on any religions here, mind you, if we all became atheists tomorrow people would just find something else to judge each other over

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:45

legendof: Oct 27, 2014

Splicer posted:

Mirthless has died on so many hills that you could build a new hill entirely out of the Mithless corpses which Mirthless would immediately die on

This is a good post.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:44

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Bubblyblubber posted:

Aren't catholics supposed to like, extra not wish hell on other people? Like only God can judge peeps and stuff?

Yes, you can never know with certainty if someone is going to heaven or hell, including yourself.

There is a formal procedure for leaving the priesthood, if not neccessarily on good terms than at least on not excommunicated terms.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:46

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Bubblyblubber posted:

Aren't catholics supposed to like, extra not wish hell on other people? Like only God can judge peeps and stuff?

they're not supposed to gently caress kids either but some folks are loose cannons

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:47

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

go post there exclusively anyway

Just for that I'm gonna reply to even more of Mirthless's posts.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:57

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

I could make a joke about Mirthless admiting to loving a kid in three, two, one.

But I'm not an rear end in a top hat, so here's more content courtesy of the word couch

quote:

My (26/m) friend (26/m) actively chooses to be homeless, but frequently asks to crash on the inner circle's couches. How can I say no without guilt.
Non-Romantic
submitted 1 month ago * by Man_on_Unicycle

My lifelong friend chooses to be homeless. He works for an outdoor education program which provides housing Monday - Thursday and then he will normally go camping Friday - Sunday, he is into that.

Unfortunately he will frequently come into the city and ask one of his friends if he can crash on their couch for a night or more. My brother offers his couch frequently but I know this is causing a strain on his relationship with his fianc� and his own personal stress.

His outdoor ed job is on break through the holiday and he has asked if he can crash at my place with the excuse being xmas and "he thought it would be nice to catch up". I know this is BS because he has already asked and been told no by my brother. My roommate and I have already established we didn't want anyone using our house as a crash pad prior to moving in so I know my roommate isn't ok with it.

What is the best way to tell him he can't stay and not feel like a jackass

TLDR: My friend wants to use my house as a crash pad because he chooses to be homeless to avoid paying rent. How do I tell him no without guilt
Edit: thanks for the reassurance all. Just told him no and I don't feel like an rear end at all

HELP ME INTERNET, HOW CAN I REFUSE MY HOBO FRIEND?

quote:

My (22/m) very overweight friend (22/m) sat on my couch and broke it and I don't know how to bring it up that I need money to replace it.
Non-Romantic
submitted 1 year ago by A_throwawayaccnt

I have a friend who is very very overweight and is working on getting in shape. He's a really nice guy and we've been friends for about 4 years so were pretty close and I know he's sensitive about his weight.

Like I said, he's been working on his weight and I've been helping him out by being his gym partner and if my girlfriend cooks a healthy meal, I'll invite him over dinner. Well the other day he came back to my place after we left the gym and he sat down on the couch but because he's really big he kind of fell down on it and it broke.

He was really embarrassed because he broke it and because he was in front of my roommates (3 other guys) and he left. This was 4 days ago and I haven't spoken to him since then, most likely because he's afraid I might bring it up. And I wouldn't bring it up, but the couch is really really broken and it cant stay like that, especially because I have roommates and since he's my friend, they're looking at me to replace it (as they should) but the couch was pretty new and part of a full set, and I cant really afford to replace it right now.

So my question is how can I bring it up to him in a way that doesn't make him feel so bad? I know it's an embarrassing situation regardless, but he still my friend and I don't want to just destroy him.

tl;dr: overweight friend broke my couch when he sat on it and I can't really afford to replace it so I need to ask him for the money to pay for it.

HELP ME INTERNET, HOW CAN I GET RESTITUTION FROM MY FATSO FRIEND?

quote:

Me [22F] with my FWB [28M] of a few months. We attempted a threesome and I ended up on the couch by myself.
Relationships
submitted 2 years ago * by Threesometirade

So I have a sex buddy. We'll call him Tom. We started having sex a few months ago and it is by far the best I've ever had (up until this point of course). Over this short amount of time we've gotten pretty close. He'll come over and we'll have a few drinks, play video games and sometimes we don't even have sex we'll just spend time together. He's become a good friend, not just a hook up.

I'm bisexual and have had threesomes in the past. He expressed to me that this was something he was interested in. I said if he found the other girl I would be happy to participate.
A few weeks go by, he secures another partner, Jessica, and says everything is set up for the three of us. We get together and have about an hour before she shows up. He said if if didn't work out for all of us he would just have her leave and/or sleep on the couch. Basically the both or neither rule. I said that sounded fair but that I was confident it would be fine.

Well it wasn't fine. She came over and we were all having a great time. We all hit it off brilliantly and I was excited about how well it was going. Fast forward a couple of hours and we're all on the couch watching a movie. He starts to make out with her and I start to touch her as well. We move things into his bedroom and before we could get any clothes off she says she's tired and that she wants to go to sleep. I think huh, alright well she must have changed her mind so I say okay, I'll go lay on the couch. I was expecting at this point for Tom to either ask her to leave or to come sleep on the other couch in the living room. Neither of these things happen. I lay on the couch by myself for about 20 minutes until I realize I need my phone charger so I go back into his room and see that they're having sex. I'm immediately hurt and decide to leave the room and go back to the couch.

I end up falling asleep around 3am and wake up to Tom trying to cuddle with me at 6am. I hear someone walk out and it's Jessica in a towel walking to the bathroom. My feelings of rejection come washing back over me and I ask him what happened. He said she refused to leave because she was too tired. I said that I saw him having sex with her. I told him he did exactly what he said he wouldn't do and that it made me feel lesser than and lied to. He said he was sorry and that he made a bad decision and could have handled it better. I told him I wasn't sure if I could be his friend any more and that I needed time to think about it.

So...now I'm stuck. I really don't want to give up on what we have because it's amazing. He's always been respectful and sensitive to my feelings. This is the first time anything bad has happened between us. I just don't know if I can forgive him. I need advice, please help!

TL,DR- I got pushed out of a threesome by a friend and left alone while he has sex with the other girl.

Edit- Thanks for all the input. It's clear that I'm developing feelings for this guy and it's making it hard for me to see things clearly. I do think what he did was disrespectful and careless but I also admit that it's compounded by the emotional investment I've made. I have a lot to think about. Again, I appreciate all the responses. I'm going to sign off now and do some reflecting.

Edit 2- I talked to him briefly. He apologized profusely saying he hosed up and was an rear end in a top hat for doing what he did and that he didn't want to lose my friendship. I told him I wanted to talk to him more about it in person. We're having dinner tomorrow evening. As for me...it may not matter what happens between us regarding what happened. I may have to end it because I'm developing romantic feelings for him and he's made it clear so far that he's not interested in anything more than a FWB arrangement. So...I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow night.

HELP ME INTERNET, HOW CAN I HAVE ALL THE DRAMA OF A POLY RELATIONSHIP BUT WITHOUT THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP PART?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:59

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

re the couch thing I'd just call the manufacturer and claim factory defect and get it fixed/replaced under warranty

re the "ditched you and went to go gently caress" thing, lol

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:01

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Moridin920 posted:

re the couch thing I'd just call the manufacturer and claim factory defect and get it fixed/replaced under warranty

re the "ditched you and went to go gently caress" thing, lol

Per our engineers' specifications loads in excess of 673lbs are a violation of your warranty, sir

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:04

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

I would hire a brother/sister incest team to man an IT heldesk

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Cumslut1895 posted:

I would hire a brother/sister incest team to man an IT heldesk

but they always recommend an inappropriate male-to-female connector...

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:08

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Per our engineers' specifications loads in excess of 673lbs are a violation of your warranty, sir

Yeah but you don't need to tell them a super hefty dude sat on it ya know.

Costco would take it back or exchange no questions asked.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:10

Warbadger: Jun 17, 2006

Subjunctive posted:

My ex-wife used to teach doctors how to use medical reference searches, and many of her $400K+/yr students had to be taught how to scroll a web page.

Yep.

I used to build out US Consulate and Embassy IT infrastructure and provide training for the Foreign Service Officers who staff them (along with the local staff in the consulate). There's a lot of basic level IT support needed even when you're supporting very intelligent and highly educated 20-40 y/o lawyers and such.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Warbadger posted:

Yep.

I used to build out US Consulate and Embassy IT infrastructure and provide training for the Foreign Service Officers who staff them (along with the local staff in the consulate). There's a lot of basic level IT support needed even when you're supporting very intelligent and highly educated 20-40 y/o lawyers and such.

did you ever fill that opening in lybia?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:10

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Bubblyblubber posted:

quote:
We move things into his bedroom and before we could get any clothes off she says she's tired and that she wants to go to sleep. I think huh, alright well she must have changed her mind so I say okay, I'll go lay on the couch.

HELP ME INTERNET, HOW CAN I HAVE ALL THE DRAMA OF A POLY RELATIONSHIP BUT WITHOUT THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP PART?

???????

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:11

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Help, my fat friend crushed my couch and got shart stains on it, I called to check the warranty status but the automated system couldn't figure out what I was trying to say. I tried to return it to Ikea but the teller was just making out with his sister

Content
Should I be a homewrecker?

quote:

So the title is a little over the top, but that's kind of how I view it. I'm 18, female, in high school in California. I'm with a guy who isn't exactly ideal, and told me two months in that he loved me, which is just scary. I've only been in a couple of real relationships, and the most recent ones (this guy and the one before) aren't with top notch guys.
There is someone out there who I have my eye on, who a friend off at college informs me also had his eye on me at one point. However, he's had a girlfriend for the past three years and they claim to be in love, despite my thoughts on that (she's a vapid idiot, but that's probably just my confirmation bias). The friend is excited that I might actually have something worthwhile and is encouraging me to go for it, but I don't know if I want to be that kind of girl. It just doesn't seem like something that I want to be.
Advice?

Comments

quote:

I do agree with lenolium when they said "Odds are none of these relationships are going to survive college." However I don't totally agree that you should go through with it just because of that.
If you would be fine with someone doing the same thing to you then I say go for it, but I doubt most people would be. One positive that would come out of it would be that the other person would find out how their partner really felt about them. While it would suck in the immediate future for them they would at least learn the truth. Just remember though that the one you have an eye for may have a wandering eye and you may not last either.

quote:

I don't think it really would though. I'd be going off to college in the fall to an as-of-yet undetermined place, while he would still be in high school, possibly across the country from me. I'm not sure I'd really be in it for the long haul.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:16

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pick posted:

did you ever fill that opening in lybia?

Too soon, Pick.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:19

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Nazzadan posted:

Help, my fat friend crushed my couch and got shart stains on it, I called to check the warranty status but the automated system couldn't figure out what I was trying to say. I tried to return it to Ikea but the teller was just making out with his sister

Content
Should I be a homewrecker?

Comments

OP

what is with the weird insecurity about telling people you love them? is this really that big of a red flag after two months? and is that really the biggest thing she has to show us her current relationship is a toxic one?

i could see somebody feeling a little rushed but it's not like he asked her to marry him

edit: oh god I read the follow-ups, she wants to destroy somebody's stable relationship for a few gently caress sessions before she goes off to college, what a horrible person

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:36

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Especially in highschool. I dropped the L bomb on a couple HS gfs after like a month. When you get older you realize it's something you kinda hold off on for a bit, but it's pretty clear she is just trash.

Especially when she wants to break up another relationship that has been going on for 3 years just to be with the guy for a little while before she fucks off to college and he's still in HS

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:39

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I dated a girl in HS for a couple months when she said she loved me. I ended up breaking up with her because I was like 'woah that's way too heavy man I'm just looking for a fun time in HS.' I mean I was nice about it but yeah it's kinda coming on strong fairly quick I guess unless you're just like soulmates or something.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:40

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Nazzadan posted:

Especially in highschool. I dropped the L bomb on a couple HS gfs after like a month. When you get older you realize it's something you kinda hold off on for a bit, but it's pretty clear she is just trash.

Especially when she wants to break up another relationship that has been going on for 3 years just to be with the guy for a little while before she fucks off to college and he's still in HS

and she even rationalizes it like she's doing him a favor because he can't possibly love that vapid bitch when he could have her right?

Moridin920 posted:

I dated a girl in HS for a couple months when she said she loved me. I ended up breaking up with her because I was like 'woah that's way too heavy man I'm just looking for a fun time in HS.' I mean I was nice about it but yeah it's kinda coming on strong fairly quick I guess unless you're just like soulmates or something.

I can understand that, but staying in the relationship is weird. It's like she's treating her relationship like a job she doesn't like but hasn't quit yet because she doesn't want a gap in her employment history

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:42

Warbadger: Jun 17, 2006

Pick posted:

did you ever fill that opening in lybia?

We went everywhere, usually a new site every 2-3 weeks. I narrowly avoided a trip to Damascus but never had Tripoli come up. Iraq/Pakistan/Afghanistan were a different story.

I actually moved on to other things because it was very stressful for my fiancee when I'd end up in those sorts of places. Plus, you know, long distance relationships being obviously bad.

Warbadger fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 21:52

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Pretty sure this thirsty, desperate loser fits perfectly in this thread.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/02/06/single-men-are-having-less-sex-than-you-think/

Why yes, I love the sexual marketplace.

Getting laid a couple times a year when you're single is actually perfectly average, this dude's only problem is he buys into the idea of a different fling every week when only a tiny amount of people live that kind of lifestyle.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:54

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Why are all these FWB situations are "we hang out all the time and sometimes when we hang out we don't have sex."

You're in a relationship, stop pretending. If it was just about sex you wouldn't hanging out every weekend and having your own space in the closet.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:57

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

It's because they enjoy each other's company but one or both people are still looking for someone better to come along.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 22:58

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

ArbitraryC posted:

It's because they enjoy each other's company but one or both people are still looking for someone better to come along.

That still sounds like a normal relationship between 20 year olds.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:00

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Lonely Virgil posted:

That still sounds like a normal relationship between 20 year olds.

Eh at least they're more honest about it, much shittier to do that if you've pretended to commit while you're still shopping around.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:00

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Lonely Virgil posted:

Why are all these FWB situations are "we hang out all the time and sometimes when we hang out we don't have sex."

You're in a relationship, stop pretending. If it was just about sex you wouldn't hanging out every weekend and having your own space in the closet.

I've had FWBs where we hung out and did not have sex, we were friends that also had sex, is that a hard thing to imagine? I didn't like, put out applications for a FWB, and then pick the best random person to FWB. These people previously were friends, we eventually started having sex with no assumption of anything more than sex on top of our pre-existing friendship (probably drunk or something)

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:01

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [25M] Wife [22F] has severe anxiety, OCD and BPD. She cannot handle the thought of me masturbating while alone. What things can we do to work on it?

These people have to be Mormons, right?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:01

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

ArbitraryC posted:

Getting laid a couple times a year when you're single is actually perfectly average, this dude's only problem is he buys into the idea of a different fling every week when only a tiny amount of people live that kind of lifestyle.

The average man or woman in their 20s at the upper percentile (like top 20% of "highest" sex-havers or so) has approximately 5 sexual encounters with different partners per year, which means the average person is much lower than that. This guy is incredibly delusional, easily influenced by the media he consumes, and very dumb.

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:02

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

ArbitraryC posted:

It's because they enjoy each other's company but one or both people are still looking for someone better to come along.

yeah basically they don't like each other quite enough to commit

it's usually pretty easy to see in these posts which one of them takes it more seriously than the other one, too!

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:03

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

I kick whoever I have sex with out of my house before 2 am.

Have fun getting a ride Jerome.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:05

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

The average man or woman in their 20s at the upper percentile (like top 20% of "highest" sex-havers or so) has approximately 5 sexual encounters with different partners per year, which means the average person is much lower than that. This guy is incredibly delusional, easily influenced by the media he consumes, and very dumb.

He at least swings around to the right conclusion by the end (that a healthy relationship is the best bang for your buck) but still you think he could take two seconds to google the actual stats and realize that most people are serial monogamists who spend most of the year loving a small number of people and the whole idea of just going out to bars and coming home with a random person is the exception rather than the rule.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:10

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Lonely Virgil posted:

I kick whoever I have sex with out of my house before 2 am.

Have fun getting a ride Jerome.

I had a FWB that I offered to stay the night once because it was so late, and she told me she has a policy to never sleep over.

Atta girl, eye on the ball.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:16

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

I also don't want people using my custom shampoo and conditioner. I spent 40 bucks on that.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:19

Gerblyn: Apr 4, 2007; "TO BATTLE!"; Fun Shoe

Bubblyblubber posted:

Aren't catholics supposed to like, extra not wish hell on other people? Like only God can judge peeps and stuff?

That's all Christians, there's even a parable about it (the Parable of Tares) where Jesus said you should never try and separate sinners from non-sinners, because it's God's job and you'll accuse innocent people by accident. Many Christians ignore it though, since being devout is no fun if you can't gloat about other people going to hell.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:23

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# ? May 16, 2024 09:14

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Pick posted:

but they always recommend an inappropriate male-to-female connector...

# ? Feb 7, 2017 23:41

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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