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Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

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Andrast
Apr 21, 2010


corn on the cop posted:

TIL my girlfriend is an abusive little poo poo

At least the person posting did the reasonable thing for once and kicked her out

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

corn on the cop posted:

She moved in a last weekend because she had a fight with her parents
i wonder what it was about :geno:

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Bubblyblubber posted:

My girlfriend [25F] has a weird vendetta against our cat[2ish F]

I'm not sure there's any single element of r/relationships funnier than people applying the age/gender rule to pets.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

Splicer posted:

i wonder what it was about :geno:

quote:

Spends too much money. 2 horses, each cost about 250 per week. Plus clothes and general spending.

Apparently telling her to do something doesn't go down too well. Her parents got sick of it I guess, can't blame them. I caved after a week.

wonder what other behavior he rationalized as normal over two years

Helios Grime
Jan 27, 2012

Where we are going we won't need shirts
Pillbug
Horsepeople the reddest of :redflag:

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

corn on the cop posted:

wonder what other behavior he rationalized as normal over two years
I'll be honest I was assuming it was about chores :v:

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Bubblyblubber posted:

A happy ending on this one

My boyfriend [21M] hates my [20F] puppy.


:3:

On the other hand, consider Piney

Sometimes a dog with behavioral problems is just not worth it

corn on the cop posted:

wonder what other behavior he rationalized as normal over two years

:eyepop: $250... a week???? Each???????

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 14:27 on Mar 10, 2017

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"


while I'm grateful for new content maybe if we could avoid stories about HIV+ men having sex with their virgin adopted sons in the future that would be cool

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
How do you even get so entitled that you think you can move into a guy's house and demand he cater to your every request? Demanding he sleep on the couch is hilarious.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Leon Einstein posted:

How do you even get so entitled that you think you can move into a guy's house and demand he cater to your every request? Demanding he sleep on the couch is hilarious.

The only question i have is what drove the ejection from her parents. If it was a long time coming the dude is right to expect her to contribute, but the fact that this happened in a week is a bit of a short timeframe.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
He's right to expect her to contribute in any circumstance. I'm not sure what the parents have to do with it.

NoneMoreNegative
Jul 20, 2000
GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN
MASTER




shit wizard dad

Adam Vegas posted:

Dad gay, so hot

ahem :o:

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

:yikes:

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

If you're mean to animals you cannot live in my home

chumbler
Mar 28, 2010

purple death ray posted:

If you're mean to animals you cannot live in my home

Yeah but what if it's to a horse?

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

chumbler posted:

Yeah but what if it's to a horse?
Hey, if it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

chumbler posted:

Yeah but what if it's to a horse?

Don't be mean to animals!!

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Horses are expensive but the reason people like to spend tons of money on them anyway is they're like huge dogs you can ride. They're super smart and affectionate even if they do some dumb things.

NoneMoreNegative
Jul 20, 2000
GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN
MASTER




shit wizard dad

Horseshoe Heelys, $199.99 the set.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Horse people are crazy but that's not the horse's fault. Horse just wants to eat oats and run around. Be cool to horses.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nuclearmonkee posted:

We had a guy who did this in high school. He would also top shelf the faculty bathroom.

Guy was never caught. We called him the phantom shitter.

Oh man. The first year I lived in college dorms, the dean gathered all of the men on my wing to tell whoever was cumming all over the toilet seats in the building to loving stop, because the janitor was refusing to clean it any longer.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

Oh man. The first year I lived in college dorms, the dean gathered all of the men on my wing to tell whoever was cumming all over the toilet seats in the building to loving stop, because the janitor was refusing to clean it any longer.

I'll never stop :twisted:

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Pvt.Scott posted:

Oh man. The first year I lived in college dorms, the dean gathered all of the men on my wing to tell whoever was cumming all over the toilet seats in the building to loving stop, because the janitor was refusing to clean it any longer.

Well, did you?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Mirthless posted:

Well, did you?

Why would I? I just started jizzing on the dean's desk instead. Come up in my house and lecture a man? Shameful.

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Ugh dorm living, on my dorm floor we had a bunch of kids that clearly never drank prior to coming to college, poo poo got hosed up (people puking in sinks, on the floor, poo poo broken etc), the school's policy was to charge everyone on the floor X amount for each issue. I didn't know my roommate prior to getting assigned to him, but we met a month before living there and quickly became friends because we both enjoyed the same poo poo (drinking, drugs, parties etc) and when we got the "bill" we both went LOLNOPE.

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe

corn on the cop posted:

Is it really that horrible of me to ask my GF (24F) of 2 years who just moved in with me (25M) to do some work around the house?

TIL my girlfriend is an abusive little poo poo

That's cute. She's mashed a bunch of cliches together for her ideas about how things should go. Because it's time to play house now.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
500 posts behind but oh well. This seems more like britain fan fiction than real but it made me laugh.

I [15M] am being well upstaged by my mate from school Declan [15M] and my mum [45F] isn't helping me to get revenge

quote:

So this bloke Declan from my school won't stop trolling and upstaging me and it's getting well annoying. He thinks he freestyle raps better than anyone else but all of his raps are stolen from American artists and his rhythm is bollocks. He thinks his pranks are better but so far they've all been well naff.

For example the other day the headmaster told us the teacher was gonna be a few minutes late to class and Declan gets up on his desk and says "suck these bollocks" and everyone thought it was so funny even though I was the one who started "suck these bollocks" in year 9!

Also he always tells me he's boned my mum and I know he hasn't but I told my mum about it in the hopes that she would help me to prank Declan back at school so he'd stop having a laugh. She said I should be working on my lessons and stop bumming about with Declan but bloody hell he is so annoying and he's completely ruining the street cred I have at school. The only girls who like me aren't even fit and it's because Declan keeps stealing the fit girls for himself and telling them stupid stories like that I have a small todger (which i don't)

I don't want to go to the headmaster because he's still well cheesed off because I made a joke earlier this year that I boned his mum (obviously a joke but he didn't find it funny). So I don't want to involve him. I just want to show Declan that he should stop messing about. Also do I have the right to be angry with my mum that she hasn't done gently caress all to help me??

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe
If he's asking for support in getting her to help out he's miles from understanding she's just dumb.

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

500 posts behind but oh well. This seems more like britain fan fiction than real but it made me laugh.

I [15M] am being well upstaged by my mate from school Declan [15M] and my mum [45F] isn't helping me to get revenge

I want to hear a rap that includes all of those British words.

bloke
bollocks
naff
headmaster
me mum
todger
cheesed off
stop messing about
mum won't help me run the streets

Head Master as the title

Anagram of GINGER fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Mar 10, 2017

TheKennedys
Sep 23, 2006

By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

500 posts behind but oh well. This seems more like britain fan fiction than real but it made me laugh.

I [15M] am being well upstaged by my mate from school Declan [15M] and my mum [45F] isn't helping me to get revenge

Is this incredibly Irish (from the name, I'd guess) or incredibly chav because I genuinely can't tell

sout
Apr 24, 2014

TheKennedys posted:

Is this incredibly Irish (from the name, I'd guess) or incredibly chav because I genuinely can't tell

this sounds english to me
that being said i don't know anyone who says "todger"

The_Franz
Aug 8, 2003

MF_James posted:

Ugh dorm living, on my dorm floor we had a bunch of kids that clearly never drank prior to coming to college, poo poo got hosed up (people puking in sinks, on the floor, poo poo broken etc), the school's policy was to charge everyone on the floor X amount for each issue. I didn't know my roommate prior to getting assigned to him, but we met a month before living there and quickly became friends because we both enjoyed the same poo poo (drinking, drugs, parties etc) and when we got the "bill" we both went LOLNOPE.

The floor some of my friends lived on the first year had a phantom shower shitter and every time he did it they billed the cleanup cost to everyone on the floor. At the end of the year everyone owed about $400 just from the shower poo poo cleanup alone. Between that and the other general assholery of a handful of people (smashed ceiling tiles, puke, etc...) the whole floor was on the brink of losing their place in the housing lottery for the next year.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

500 posts behind but oh well. This seems more like britain fan fiction than real but it made me laugh.

I [15M] am being well upstaged by my mate from school Declan [15M] and my mum [45F] isn't helping me to get revenge

idk why but I'm lollin hard at this one

quote:

I've been keeping my ear to the streets
The UK run out of ideas
Everybody doing covers of American beats
If it ain't the Ace Hood "Hustle Hard" flow
Then it all sounds like Rick Ross to me
This is the poo poo I'm supposed to respect?
gently caress that n---- SMD
P A U S to the E
Dunno who you're pretending to be
I don't care what gun you bang
I don't care what drug you sell
gently caress you man

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

500 posts behind but oh well. This seems more like britain fan fiction than real but it made me laugh.

I [15M] am being well upstaged by my mate from school Declan [15M] and my mum [45F] isn't helping me to get revenge

the new harry potter books really suck

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
Did I(17M) cheaton my girlfriend(18W)?

quote:

TL;DR; : this is a long question about if i cheated on my girlfriend last night, please be honest

Hi I'm in a relationship for the first time in my life. We have been together for 4 months but now she is on a trip for 2 days so I went on a party and drank a little too much

There were only me, some friends and a couple of girls i didn't know there. We decided to play truth or dare and when it was my turn i chose dare, i got kiss the person next to you for 5 seconds. so i did. I didn't think about it then but did i cheat? I only did it for the game and nothing else. the girl tried to kiss me again like 20 minutes later but then i denied it and said i have a girlfriend.

my girlfriend is furious now and I am truly sorry. i love her with all my heart and i would never ever have done it if i knew that this could be considered as cheating. so... did i cheat and am I a horrible person?

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
Someone wanted more wedding drama. Well,

quote:

Sorry if this comes out in a confusing wall of text.) My FH come from a very conservative religious family. It's a small church. We are living together. FIL are pissed when we get engaged (they happened to be there). We didn't even get a congrats. Our wedding is in May. His brother and gf are getting engaged soon and all of our wedding plans have been shoved aside while they are already working on the brothers wedding in October. They've announced it on FB how excited they are for them and can't stop telling everyone. Like WTF. Wanna know something even worse?. The brother is 30 and the gf won't be 18 until the end of July.

Let my FMIL see our engagements, she saw one of us ALMOST kissing and her exact words were "that's extremely racey! You shouldn't be kissing until you're married!". I texted the gf and she said that her and the brother kiss all the time and my FMIL is okay with it!!!!! I'm 26 FH is 24. But we can't kiss and the 17 year old and the 30 year old can. What the actual gently caress.

My FMIL invited every female member of her church to my bridal shower (that my side of the family is having). I don't even know any of them. FFIL is insistent that we have to have more than 40 people at our wedding and we need to include all their church people. We need to have 2 pastors at our wedding, one to talk and one to marry us. They want our ceremony to be 1+ hrs. Told me that his siblings would be pissed if we didn't ask them to be in our lines (we asked, they wouldn't be), after I told them we weren't having bridesmaids and groomsmen. This all happened when FMIL invited me over to show her my dress while FH was at work. They kept me there for hours and bombarded me with information and tried to get me to agree to things. I kept telling no to things and reminding them we wanted to elope originally, so having a small intimate ceremony the way we want it is something they have to deal with.

We hire someone to bring dirt for a fence we put in so our puppy wouldn't get out. He happened to be from future in laws church. He says to FH, "I don't know what you're doing but you need to pull your head out of your butt. I married my wife when she was 17 and pregnant with our first baby and I thought the marriage would fix our problems but it didn't. So this isn't going to fix your problem. You shouldn't marry her!" My FH was like "I don't know what problem you are referring to (assumed to be living together) but we aren't getting married to fix any problem. We are getting married because we love each other. I don't know where you got that info from but that's definitely or the case. So you can go tell whoever you heard that from that. This is exactly why we will never be back to that church because instead of talking to us like adults people have to talk without having facts and judge us". Thank god he stood up to him. I texted the gf and she said the entire church has been talking about it and even FIL's feel that way. Are you freaking kidding me?? ( I guess one would question if the gf is lying but clearly from the attitudes and comments she isn't making the info up.)

I hate that we are dealing with this. I hate that they're not excited for their son. I'm emotionally exhausted and seriously want to bitch someone out. I'm tired of being nice. We both knew what we were getting into when we moved in together, and the drama that will probably continue with religion our entire lives. But the double standard is ridiculous.

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

TheKennedys posted:

Is this incredibly Irish (from the name, I'd guess) or incredibly chav because I genuinely can't tell

If it was Irish I think they would say 'mam' instead of 'mum'.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

zakharov posted:

Someone wanted more wedding drama. Well,

yyoooo lol that dude is a pedophile

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sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan
What the gently caress is with people trying to indenture their close friends into wedding servitude?

quote:

"Honourary Groomsmen/Bridesmaid" Duties. Is this normal?

u/ConfusedThrowaway494

Throwaway for reasons.

So a little over a year ago two friends of mine got engaged. They have I think 8 or 9 groomsmen/bridesmaids each and then on top of that asked myself, two other friends of mine and a bunch of other people to be “Honourary Groomsmen” and ”Honourary Bridesmaids”.

We didn’t really know what that meant. The groom said it was a way to honour friends who didn’t make it into the wedding party, and we would all just wear the same colour tie and get to skip all the photos and usual stuff that goes along with being in a wedding party. We then get added to the wedding party Facebook group and it is quiet until about this past December when the bride posts what is expected of the honorary groomsmen/bridesmaids.

Essentially we are asked to help setup the reception hall on the Friday before the wedding (wedding is Saturday), arrive an hour and a half early to the ceremony on the day to help decorate the church, hand out programs, and seat people, and then after the ceremony immediately drive the half hour to the reception hall to help out there, even though the cocktail hour doesn’t start till 6pm and the ceremony is at 3pm. Duties she described included putting appies out, clearing plates and glasses during cocktail hour, knowing the schedule for the day if people have questions (we’ll all be wearing the same colour tie so they’d know to ask us) making sure people are signing the guest book, and making sure people know where to put gifts. For reference there will be probably 200 people at the reception.

Myself and my two other friends who were asked to do this were pretty baffled at the whole thing as all three of us are going to be bringing our significant others so we’d have to drag them along to all these places early as well, and theoretically not be able to hang out with them during the time we are expected to be working at the wedding. Never mind the fact that we had no idea this was what we were getting into when we said yes to being Honourary Groomsmen. I personally don’t really think your guests should have to work at the party you’re throwing for yourself.

So we sent a very polite text to the groom basically saying we’re sorry, but we’d rather just attend as guests. Now we’re getting other friends coming up to us asking why we bailed out of the wedding. The people asking us about it are equally as confused about the whole “Honourary” thing as us.

So my question to you fine people is: Is this normal? Are we jerks for bailing? I’ve never heard of “Honourary” anything besides giving the nod to someone you wanted in the wedding party who couldn’t make it.

TLDR: Got asked to be an “Honourary Groomsmen” without knowing that meant helping setup the wedding and working during cocktail hour. Is this normal?

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