/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

usually when someone turns lovely it's because they've done a lovely thing and don't want to own the agency of ending the relationship.

This is EXACTLY what I thought. She cheated on him or something and doesn't want to admit it, so is pushing him away so he'll end it without her having to own up to her mistake.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:07

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 19:50

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

WoodrowSkillson posted:

im outside, i have flowers, chocolates, and im not taking no for an answer

:ooooooooooooooooooooo

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:11

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Explain sitting Shiva to me since everyone else here is apparently casually familiar with it.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:11

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Pvt.Scott posted:

Explain sitting Shiva to me since everyone else here is apparently casually familiar with it.

I was going to be a dick and put a LMGTFY link but gently caress it: http://www.kveller.com/article/what-to-expect-at-a-shiva/ and http://www.shiva.com/learning-center/sitting-shiva/

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:12

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pvt.Scott posted:

Explain sitting Shiva to me since everyone else here is apparently casually familiar with it.

Jewish funeral custom. You come by and socialize with the family to distract them from their grief, in essence. The idea is for them to not be alone.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:12

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I know I can google it. I'd rather hear it from a person, sorta.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:15

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Pvt.Scott posted:

Explain sitting Shiva to me since everyone else here is apparently casually familiar with it.

The family stays at home mourning for 7 days while friends and more distant family visits and spends time with them in their home. There's a bunch more but yeah.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:17

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Pvt.Scott posted:

Explain sitting Shiva to me since everyone else here is apparently casually familiar with it.

it's how jewish people hold a wake

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Boyfriend (22M) of 3 years told me if he had to choose between our lives that he'd pick his over mine (22F) I'm really hurt by this

u/choosehimoverrme

The other day I asked my boyfriend who he'd pick if we were in a situation where we had to choose between each other's lives or our own. He replied, without hesitation, "Mine."

I was kind of bothered by his immediate response but didn't press it until later that night. I asked him why and he said, "Well, we're 20, you're gonna be sad for a while, date around, get married and have a family while I'm dead, it's not like you're gonna spend forever mourning or anything so why should I sacrifice my chance at having all that good stuff to? I'll be really sad if you died and it would ruin me but I'd prefer living."

How do I deal with a situation like this? It's been on my mind since and it feels like he doesn't think much of our relationship if he could respond like that with...Idk... a cold, almost ruthless businessman's answer.

tl;dr boyfriend said he'd pick himself over me if it came down to it and the way he said it has me feeling like he secretly doesn't think much of our relationship

this dude owns

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:17

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

From this "raises more questions than it answers" department:

My [21F] boyfriend [22M] of 6 months has a weird habit that makes me uncomfortable, is this a red flag?

quote:

My boyfriend (I'll call him Jason) and I have been dating for 6 months and overall, things have been great. We share a lot of the same interests and really connect with each other in a way I haven't experienced with anything else. We never fight or get angry at each other. But there's one thing he does that I just don't understand, and it concerns me.

When I'm at his place, and I have to use the washroom, he starts acting really weird. He acts nervous and says things like "Are you sure you have to use it right now?" "I thought you were going home soon, you could just use the bathroom at home you know..." He's never stopped me from using the washroom but after I do it, he gets sulky and acts cold and distant. At first, I thought he was worried that I would stink up his bathroom or something, but he's not a clean freak and it also bothers him (although not as much) when I use the bathroom at my apartment or a public place. One time I came out of the bathroom and it looked like he had been crying...

One time I straight up asked him why it bothered him so much and he dodged the question. He said something like "It doesn't bother me, it's just weird you know?" I haven't brought it up again because I don't think I would get anywhere. I'm just wondering if this is a red flag, like a sign that he could be controlling in the future. I've never heard of anyone with this particular issue.

tl;dr: My boyfriend gets upset when I use the washroom. He won't explain why. Is this a red flag and does anyone have insight into this behavior?

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:22

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

From this "raises more questions than it answers" department:

My [21F] boyfriend [22M] of 6 months has a weird habit that makes me uncomfortable, is this a red flag?

Dude keeps forgetting that HU-MON FEMALES also have bodily functions and gets upset when reminded, lol

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:24

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

r/relationshipsRelationships

I'm upset that my [21M] girlfriend [18F] acts no different with her friends than she does when she's alone with me. I feel unspecial.

u/throwaway20394832111

Apologies for confusing title.

I've been with my girlfriend for three years. We are sort of long-distance and have never actually hung out with each others friend groups, albeit we all know of each other. This past weekend I finally got to hang out with her and her friends.

It was all going great until I realized that a lot of what I thought were my girlfriend's "quirks" in relation to me are not actually in relation to me at all. They're just.. her. For example, she does this thing where she'll ask a few times if you really want to do something because she wants to make sure that you're not just saying yes. So she'll say something like, "are you sure? like 100% positive? don't lie to me" but in a really cute, funny way. I thought that she only did this with me but she did it with her friends as well when she offered to put on anime for us to watch. I thought that she only did this with me because she cares about me but I guess not. It's just something that she does in general.

Another thing is how she acts when she's high. We all smoked and she acted the same exact way that she usually acts with me and I was starting to feel really unspecial and like everything that I've ever thought about her has been a lie pretty much. She just kept saying jokes that we'd say to each other and stuff like that.

She also asked her friends boyfriend if he had leg-room in her car when she was driving (before we smoked) and he was sitting in the backseat behind her. I thought that this was unnecessary.

Do I bring this up to her? Am I being irrational?

tl;dr: upset that gf acts the same way with her friends like she does with me

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

From this "raises more questions than it answers" department:

My [21F] boyfriend [22M] of 6 months has a weird habit that makes me uncomfortable, is this a red flag?

goblins, also your boyfriend hates that he got one of the pooping models

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:25

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

From this "raises more questions than it answers" department:

My [21F] boyfriend [22M] of 6 months has a weird habit that makes me uncomfortable, is this a red flag?

She should probably start looking for a cache of piss bottles.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:27

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Ride The Gravitron posted:

r/relationshipsRelationships

I'm upset that my [21M] girlfriend [18F] acts no different with her friends than she does when she's alone with me. I feel unspecial.

Another thing is how she acts when she's high. We all smoked and she acted the same exact way that she usually acts with me and I was starting to feel really unspecial and like everything that I've ever thought about her has been a lie pretty much. She just kept saying jokes that we'd say to each other and stuff like that.

She also asked her friends boyfriend if he had leg-room in her car when she was driving (before we smoked) and he was sitting in the backseat behind her. I thought that this was unnecessary.

Do I bring this up to her? Am I being irrational?

die alone

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:26

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Ride The Gravitron posted:

r/relationshipsRelationships

I'm upset that my [21M] girlfriend [18F] acts no different with her friends than she does when she's alone with me. I feel unspecial.

u/throwaway20394832111

Apologies for confusing title.

I've been with my girlfriend for three years. We are sort of long-distance and have never actually hung out with each others friend groups, albeit we all know of each other. This past weekend I finally got to hang out with her and her friends.

It was all going great until I realized that a lot of what I thought were my girlfriend's "quirks" in relation to me are not actually in relation to me at all. They're just.. her. For example, she does this thing where she'll ask a few times if you really want to do something because she wants to make sure that you're not just saying yes. So she'll say something like, "are you sure? like 100% positive? don't lie to me" but in a really cute, funny way. I thought that she only did this with me but she did it with her friends as well when she offered to put on anime for us to watch. I thought that she only did this with me because she cares about me but I guess not. It's just something that she does in general.

Another thing is how she acts when she's high. We all smoked and she acted the same exact way that she usually acts with me and I was starting to feel really unspecial and like everything that I've ever thought about her has been a lie pretty much. She just kept saying jokes that we'd say to each other and stuff like that.

She also asked her friends boyfriend if he had leg-room in her car when she was driving (before we smoked) and he was sitting in the backseat behind her. I thought that this was unnecessary.

Do I bring this up to her? Am I being irrational?

tl;dr: upset that gf acts the same way with her friends like she does with me

What the gently caress

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:27

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

boner confessor posted:

it's how jewish people hold a wake

this dude owns

loving lol if you wouldn't literally sacrifice yourself for your gf

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:28

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I Was The Fury posted:

Dude keeps forgetting that HU-MON FEMALES also have bodily functions and gets upset when reminded, lol

This is the "obvious" explanation but it doesn't really fit. If it was anger, or disgust, or disinterest, sure, but literal tears? I dunno man...

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:28

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

I Was The Fury posted:

What the gently caress

I don't get this. What is wrong with this guy lol

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic
submitted a minute ago by concernedfather232

My daughter has never had the best judgement, especially when it comes to guys. In high school she would constantly go out with sleazy guys who only wanted to get in her pants. I talked to her a couple times about not getting taken advantage of and she acted like she understood.

Eventually I caught her having anal sex with a "friend" in the basement. I angrily kicked the guy out and grounded her for a month. She told me it was the first time and it wouldn't happen again.

About a year later, I wound up hearing from her younger brother that she's developing a bad reputation at her school for sleeping around. I confronted her about it and she promised me it wouldn't happen again but I didn't believe her. I grounded her for three months and gave her a long talk about respecting herself and changing her behavior.

It seemed to work for awhile but next year she's going off to college and I'm worried she'll slip up again. I'm not sure what I can do to help her. I'm paying part of her tuition so I might be able to use that as leverage if it comes to it but I don't really have any other ideas. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: My daughter's going off to college next year and based on her past behavior I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:30

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Oh no, my girlfriend treats me like other people she cares for and respects! Does this mean she lets them put it in her pooper too?

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:29

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Pick posted:

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic

loving gross.

The dad, too be clear, is the loving gross one.

"I SAW HIS WEINER SPECIFICALLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE, I MADE SURE"

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:31

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Pick posted:

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic
submitted a minute ago by concernedfather232

It seemed to work for awhile but next year she's going off to college and I'm worried she'll slip up again. I'm not sure what I can do to help her. I'm paying part of her tuition so I might be able to use that as leverage if it comes to it but I don't really have any other ideas. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: My daughter's going off to college next year and based on her past behavior I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.

send me her phone number, i'll talk some sense into her

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:31

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Pick posted:

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic
submitted a minute ago by concernedfather232

My daughter has never had the best judgement, especially when it comes to guys. In high school she would constantly go out with sleazy guys who only wanted to get in her pants. I talked to her a couple times about not getting taken advantage of and she acted like she understood.

Eventually I caught her having anal sex with a "friend" in the basement. I angrily kicked the guy out and grounded her for a month. She told me it was the first time and it wouldn't happen again.

About a year later, I wound up hearing from her younger brother that she's developing a bad reputation at her school for sleeping around. I confronted her about it and she promised me it wouldn't happen again but I didn't believe her. I grounded her for three months and gave her a long talk about respecting herself and changing her behavior.

It seemed to work for awhile but next year she's going off to college and I'm worried she'll slip up again. I'm not sure what I can do to help her. I'm paying part of her tuition so I might be able to use that as leverage if it comes to it but I don't really have any other ideas. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: My daughter's going off to college next year and based on her past behavior I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.

let your daughter get her rear end hosed wtf she's grown

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:34

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

Pick posted:

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic
submitted a minute ago by concernedfather232

My daughter has never had the best judgement, especially when it comes to guys. In high school she would constantly go out with sleazy guys who only wanted to get in her pants. I talked to her a couple times about not getting taken advantage of and she acted like she understood.

Eventually I caught her having anal sex with a "friend" in the basement. I angrily kicked the guy out and grounded her for a month. She told me it was the first time and it wouldn't happen again.

About a year later, I wound up hearing from her younger brother that she's developing a bad reputation at her school for sleeping around. I confronted her about it and she promised me it wouldn't happen again but I didn't believe her. I grounded her for three months and gave her a long talk about respecting herself and changing her behavior.

It seemed to work for awhile but next year she's going off to college and I'm worried she'll slip up again. I'm not sure what I can do to help her. I'm paying part of her tuition so I might be able to use that as leverage if it comes to it but I don't really have any other ideas. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: My daughter's going off to college next year and based on her past behavior I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.

Slut-shamin' mama

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:33

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

I Was The Fury posted:

loving gross.

The dad, too be clear, is the loving gross one.

"I SAW HIS WEINER SPECIFICALLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE, I MADE SURE"

uhh do you have issues distinguishing between an rear end in a top hat and the vagina often?

I mean, it doesn't sound like he went down there an inspected, he loving saw it happening.

boner confessor posted:

send me her phone number, i'll talk some sense into her

this

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:33

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I Was The Fury posted:

loving gross.

The dad, too be clear, is the loving gross one.

"I SAW HIS WEINER SPECIFICALLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE, I MADE SURE"

TFW when your dad squints trying to make sure he's seeing the correct hole

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:33

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Pick posted:

Eventually I caught her having anal sex with a "friend" in the basement. I angrily kicked the guy out and grounded her for a month. She told me it was the first time and it wouldn't happen again.

Uhhh how the hell did he know this. Was he looking that closely at his daughter banging?

Also yes your daughter is gonna bang hella dudes, as is her right as an adult, better learn to deal with it.

Edit: he saw a man and a woman having sex. Figuring out exactly which hole it's going in? Yeah that's not exactly casual across the room stuff, y'know.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:33

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Chill Nazi Frog posted:

Slut-shamin' mama

, actually.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:35

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Pick posted:

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic
submitted a minute ago by concernedfather232

My daughter has never had the best judgement, especially when it comes to guys. In high school she would constantly go out with sleazy guys who only wanted to get in her pants. I talked to her a couple times about not getting taken advantage of and she acted like she understood.

Eventually I caught her having anal sex with a "friend" in the basement. I angrily kicked the guy out and grounded her for a month. She told me it was the first time and it wouldn't happen again.

About a year later, I wound up hearing from her younger brother that she's developing a bad reputation at her school for sleeping around. I confronted her about it and she promised me it wouldn't happen again but I didn't believe her. I grounded her for three months and gave her a long talk about respecting herself and changing her behavior.

It seemed to work for awhile but next year she's going off to college and I'm worried she'll slip up again. I'm not sure what I can do to help her. I'm paying part of her tuition so I might be able to use that as leverage if it comes to it but I don't really have any other ideas. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: My daughter's going off to college next year and based on her past behavior I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.

Daughter's anal slut, so what?

Get over yourself, old man. She's a legal adult and if she goes to college, you should be glad she's a backdoor lady. Lower risk of grandchildren.

Your unsullied angel doesn't exist any longer. Deal with it. You were probably pounding her mom like a jackhammer in high school or college.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:35

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Pick posted:

My [48M] daughter [18F] is going off to college next year and I'm worried she's gonna start sleeping around.Non-Romantic
submitted a minute ago by concernedfather232

What a disgusting creepy rear end in a top hat excuse for a father. I feel really bad for this girl and I hope she finds some happiness far away from him. :smith:

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:36

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

feedmegin posted:

Uhhh how the hell did he know this. Was he looking that closely at his daughter banging?

Also yes your daughter is gonna bang hella dudes, as is her right as an adult, better learn to deal with it.

Edit: he saw a man and a woman having sex. Figuring out exactly which hole it's going in? Yeah that's not exactly casual across the room stuff, y'know.

I think he is just assuming based on position, which is kind of sad.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:35

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

It was probably just doggy style.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:35

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Boyfriend (22M) of 3 years told me if he had to choose between our lives that he'd pick his over mine (22F) I'm really hurt by this

u/choosehimoverrme

The other day I asked my boyfriend who he'd pick if we were in a situation where we had to choose between each other's lives or our own. He replied, without hesitation, "Mine."

I was kind of bothered by his immediate response but didn't press it until later that night. I asked him why and he said, "Well, we're 20, you're gonna be sad for a while, date around, get married and have a family while I'm dead, it's not like you're gonna spend forever mourning or anything so why should I sacrifice my chance at having all that good stuff to? I'll be really sad if you died and it would ruin me but I'd prefer living."

How do I deal with a situation like this? It's been on my mind since and it feels like he doesn't think much of our relationship if he could respond like that with...Idk... a cold, almost ruthless businessman's answer.

tl;dr boyfriend said he'd pick himself over me if it came down to it and the way he said it has me feeling like he secretly doesn't think much of our relationship

this is an amazing response

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:37

Sotar: Dec 1, 2009

Another gem from r/childfree

Breeders on the traine

I got the train to work today. It's about an hour ride away.

opposite me were to parents, one male, one female. The guy looked bored AF and depressed. Like he's checked out and was disinterested in the kid. She was fussing over the kid, every whimper, noise, movement elicited a coo of excitement from her.

The drunks trolley came along and I asked for a coffee. The Mother suddenly pipes up "could you not?I don't want thelittle one to knock the cup over and hurt herself".

The kid was about a year and a half old and so not old enough to know better, unless the parents told it to.

I said "can't you just parent your kid?" and he replied "it's hard" and before I can shut myself up, I replied "well, you had 24 weeks to have an abortion and another 16 to get ready to be a parent. Not my fault you're not prepared".

His jaw drops and the Mums eyes filled with tears. He then looks away, flushing bright red.

I don't even feel bad. having kids is a choice. Not my fault if breeders can't be arsed to monitor their kids.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:38

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

He taste-tested the dude's dick. Come on people use your dang brains.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:37

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

ArbitraryC posted:

this is an amazing response

Girlfriend was just pissed that he doesn't want to die as much as she does.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:39

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Cthulu Carl posted:

He taste-tested the dude's dick. Come on people use your dang brains.

Gay dad just insanely jealous his daughter is pulling all the strange

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:38

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Maybe they had the towels and lube and were screaming about butts being hosed while brown slurry was spraying everywhere. Seems like the sort of details the dad would skimp on for obvious reasons.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:40

sout: Apr 24, 2014

CharlestheHammer posted:

Gay dad just insanely jealous his daughter is pulling all the strange

. so what

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 11, 2024 19:50

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Sotar posted:

I said "can't you just parent your kid?" and he replied "it's hard"

lmao

# ? Mar 29, 2017 20:40

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