/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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SpaceClown: Feb 13, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

just lol at mister "my butt must never be seen :ohdear:

" what a loving goober with his obvious abuse issues

also; PAGE 888 BITCHES CHECK THIS TRIPLE SNIPE

:synpa:

# ? Apr 6, 2017 20:54

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# ? May 15, 2024 08:47

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Bubblyblubber posted:

Still going, huh?

I [25F] have never seen my bf's [27M] butt. Dating 3 years. (NSFW/ Trigger warning)

He was totally abused. :smith:

# ? Apr 6, 2017 20:55

small ghost: Jan 30, 2013

WampaLord posted:

He was totally abused.

I choose to believe he has his ex's name tattooed on the cheek she hasn't seen, because the alternative is too sad.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 20:57

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Maybe he just has a real weird butt.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 20:58

small ghost: Jan 30, 2013

Maybe he has a swastika birthmark

# ? Apr 6, 2017 20:58

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

deformed conjoined twin, like Kratos

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:00

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Wrong thread.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:01

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

he has two buttholes like that other guy and is ashamed of it

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:03

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

My butt got put on sideways.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:18

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

none of you saltless calorie counting bitches even fathoms less than a thousanth of a percent of the glory that is indian food

High five fellow basmati eating motherfucker. It's all true. I rubbed myself in Ghee at your post.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:21

Buzzman: Feb 21, 2011

Found an older post, sorry if it's been posted before.

My [26F] fiance's [28M] ex-wife [28F] has cancer. He's moved in with her and postponed our wedding.

quote:

Apologies for length.

"Max" and I dated for two years and have been engaged for 9 months, with the wedding date set for early January. We have a healthy, honest relationship, and I've never had any reason to doubt him.

He and "Caroline" were high school sweethearts who married very young (They were both twenty-two, right out of college). They divorced after two years. Max told me that they got married too quickly and didn't realise how different their relationship would be in the "real world," i.e. when they were both working full-time jobs and struggling to pay the rent. They split up on good terms, but didn't keep in touch. He remained in our home city, while she pursued a modelling career and began travelling extensively.

Three months ago, Caroline contacted Max over Facebook out of the blue, saying she was in town and wanted to meet for coffee. He agreed. Over coffee, she told him that she had recently been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Her odds of survival were low, but she was determined to fight it through surgery and chemo. She said that all she wanted was for Max to be by her side throughout her treatment.

Caroline's parents died shortly after she married Max. She has no siblings and the rest of her family lives overseas. She described Max as the closest thing to family she has left.

I absolutely sympathise with Caroline. The next day Max had her over to our apartment and she was completely lovely, clearly trying very hard to be optimistic even in the face of her life potentially ending before she turns 30. I feel terrible for her and for the situation that she's in, and I fully supported Max being there for her.

Her first surgery was later that month. Max flew across the country (we live on the east coast, she's on the west) and checked into a hotel a few minutes from her apartment. He's a writer, so working from his laptop is no issue. We spoke on the phone or on Skype almost every day for the two weeks he was over there.

Caroline had her surgery at the beginning of June. Unfortunately, it was not entirely successful. Her doctors moved to the next method, chemo.

Max came home after her surgery to tell me this. He explained that Caroline's treatment plan was set to begin in July and end in late January. It would be an incredibly difficult time period for her, and she wanted him with her at all times.

We can't afford to pay for a hotel until January, so he moved into her apartment, sleeping on her sofa. He's been there for the past month and we continue to Skype, though only a couple times a week now. When we spoke yesterday, Max gently told me that based on Caroline's condition, he wouldn't feel right leaving her so close to the end of her treatment. He'd like for us to postpone the wedding until February, at the very least, so that he can stay with her until her treatment is over.

I'm so conflicted. I feel awful for resenting Caroline at all - she has cancer! She's suffering immensely. But the resentment is still there. I resent her for needing Max constantly holding her hand, as though she has absolutely no friends of her own. I resent Max, too, for agreeing to this situation. We won't be seeing each other in person for months now, on top of our wedding being postponed.

I don't know what to do. I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel. Right now I'm just full of anger and guilt, and I don't know how to explain it to anyone else in my life.

tl;dr: Fiance has moved in with his ex-wife to support her during chemo, postponing our wedding as a result. Am I wrong to feel resentful? Is there a better way of handling this?

Edit: Everyone seems to be in agreement that this is a completely inappropriate (if incredibly sad) situation that Max isn't handling very well. I'll speak to him either tonight or tomorrow, whenever we Skype next, and tell him in no uncertain terms that I want him to come home. From there, we can decide what to do, since I don't want to leave Caroline high and dry. But him living there until February is out of the question.

What a loving shitshow.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:40

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

and then they confess their mutual love for each other, minutes before she takes her last breath. brought to you by the Lifetime channel

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:53

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

Buzzman posted:

Found an older post, sorry if it's been posted before.

My [26F] fiance's [28M] ex-wife [28F] has cancer. He's moved in with her and postponed our wedding.

What a loving shitshow.

The update is even better because, as usual in these weird rear end contrived situations, someone was lying all over the place.

[Update] My [26F] fiance's [28M] ex-wife [28F] has cancer. He's moved in with her and postponed our wedding

quote:

First off, thank you all so much for your advice and words of support. I�m sorry that I couldn�t reply to every comment, reply, or PM that I got, but I woke up to a locked post and over 100 unread messages. I promise, I did read through every one of them. Each perspective was incredibly helpful and made me look at the situation in a completely different way. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I spoke to Max this morning. I told him that as terrible as I feel for Caroline, I don�t want him living over there until February. I suggested that we brainstorm some sort of schedule that allowed him to continue visiting her, even postponing our honeymoon and using that money to fund his plane tickets. Several commenters brought up her moving over here for treatment, so I mentioned that as well, offering up our spare bedroom. I emphasised that I didn�t fault him for wanting to help an old loved one in what could be her final days, but that I couldn�t help but feel marginalised, especially so close to our wedding.

Max didn�t speak very much, just listened while I rambled on. When I couldn�t think of anything else to add, I asked him to please say something.

So he told me the truth: Caroline was never stage 4. She was stage 2.

He assured me that the rest of his story is true. Caroline asking him to be with her, the initial surgery being unsuccessful, her chemo treatment plan, etc. But apparently her chances of survival are far greater than he led me to believe.

Max said he lied because he felt it was the only way I could understand his need to be with her. He thought that if her situation seemed less dire than literal life-or-death, I wouldn�t agree to him essentially moving across the country for her.

He admitted to telling her that our wedding had been postponed to next August, giving her the impression that him being away until February would be no problem. He has also been the one insisting on remaining by her side. After her surgery, she had given him permission to return home, saying that it wouldn�t be fair to pressure him into living with her throughout her entire chemo treatment, as much as she would have liked him there. He refused to leave. He told her that I supported this decision fully.

Max swears that he�s not in love with her still, but I just can�t believe that. He lied to my face. Before she visited our apartment back in May, he warned me not to mention her being stage 4 as she was still �extremely sensitive about it.� And I completely bought into that lie. I trusted him.

He put his past with her over his future with me. I�ll be spending the next few months apartment hunting and cancelling wedding plans.

Thank you all for your kind words.

tl;dr: Confronted fiance. He misrepresented his ex-wife�s illness so that he could spend time with her. It�s over.

Edit: I'm blown away by the outpouring of support I'm receiving. I wish I could respond to each of you individually. Thank you so, so much. This is a wonderful community, and I truly appreciate all of your thoughts.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:58

small ghost: Jan 30, 2013

Edit: Oops

small ghost fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 21:58

Pelvic Floor Wax: Jul 21, 2007

edit: whoops, beaten.

What a piece of poo poo though.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:00

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Perfect.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:01

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

fuckin lol

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:02

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Werong Bustope posted:

There's an update.

[Update] My [26F] fiance's [28M] ex-wife [28F] has cancer. He's moved in with her and postponed our wedding.

I know widowers re-marry shockingly fast after losing their partner, but this has to be the first pre-emptive engagement I've seen.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:02

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

that's such a George Costanza way to try to get back together with your ex

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:06

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

boner confessor posted:

this one is a repost and iirc the thread consensus is that he was probably abused

I thought the consensus/joke was that the dude had a cyst scar/second butthole.

E: I'm confusing two different stories, aren't I?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:08

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Batterypowered7 posted:

I thought the consensus/joke was that the dude had a cyst scar/second butthole.

E: I'm confusing two different stories, aren't I?

you're thinking of the one where the OP had been back there and found a second butthole, and wanted to know the ins and outs of dating someone with two butts

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:14

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

ins and outs

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Every person who was involved in the production and dissemination of the television program How I Met Your Mother should be drawn and quartered on live television imo

I believe you in theory but I didn't watch the show so why? Was not changing or growing up a motif?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:19

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

The update is even better because, as usual in these weird rear end contrived situations, someone was lying all over the place.

[Update] My [26F] fiance's [28M] ex-wife [28F] has cancer. He's moved in with her and postponed our wedding

Its nice when there's a happy ending for a change.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:19

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

WampaLord posted:

He was totally abused.

I thought thread consensus was probably pinodeal cyst that makes it look like he has two buttholes and he's afear'd

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:21

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Pick posted:

I believe you in theory but I didn't watch the show so why? Was not changing or growing up a motif?

The main character never changed.

It also bit hard into the perfect woman for him hard.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:21

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pick posted:

I thought thread consensus was probably pinodeal cyst that makes it look like he has two buttholes and he's afear'd

The fear reaction when she snuggled his butt screams abuse to me.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:21

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pick posted:

I believe you in theory but I didn't watch the show so why? Was not changing or growing up a motif?

The ultimate lesson was pine forever for the same person, never learn or grow anything and retain your hideously off putting personality flaws, a wife and two children and completely different life goals are but temporary impediments to true love that are fine to gloss over, and through sheer dogged perservearance eventually she will love you too.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:21

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Teds love life is like 50 different R/relationship posts strung together.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:23

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

The ultimate lesson was pine forever for the same person, never learn or grow anything and retain your hideously off putting personality flaws, a wife and two children and completely different life goals are but temporary impediments to true love that are fine to gloss over, and through sheer dogged perservearance eventually she will love you too.

Sounds like the writer probably has a few stories up on r/r

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:24

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

I think one of the best things anyone ever said about relationships is

People change, just not when you need them to

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:24

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pick posted:

Sounds like the writer probably has a few stories up on r/r

The mother and main character meet for an episode before she dies because the decades spent with her are less important than the first woman he met in New York and pined after.

The writer doesnt post on r/r they are r/r

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:27

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Eponine posted:

I got assaulted in broad daylight, in public, with more than 10 witnesses, in the US, by a man last summer because he thought I did not properly acknowledge his compliment. He screamed at me and my girlfriend and then came after both of us with a 2x4.

Am I terrified 100% of the time? Not really, but I am exceptionally aware of times where I am alone in a place with a man I do not know or when a man forces me to interact with him unnecessarily. Gonna call the cops on me for abusing myself brb.

Andre the Giant playing the victim, again.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:27

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

High five fellow basmati eating motherfucker. It's all true. I rubbed myself in Ghee at your post.

i wanna try making hollaindaise with ghee cuz i had a coconut oil version that was so good it made broccoli acceptable

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

The mother and main character meet for an episode before she dies because the decades spent with her are less important than the first woman he met in New York and pined after.

The writer doesnt post on r/r they are r/r

Wait but he does or doesn't get with new york girl?

also that is effed up

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:33

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Pick posted:

Wait but he does or doesn't get with new york girl?

also that is effed up

He does after the mother dies yeah.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:35

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Not too mention Alison Hannigan's character was like the WORST friend/girlfriend ever, and would go out of her way to seize control of everyone's personal business, and this was treated like a friendly quirk.e

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:36

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Drunk Nerds posted:

Not too mention Alison Hannigan's character was like the WORST friend/girlfriend ever

Yea holy poo poo she was actively awful a lot of the time.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

CharlestheHammer posted:

He does after the mother dies yeah.

what the eff?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:41

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# ? May 15, 2024 08:47

small ghost: Jan 30, 2013

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

i wanna try making hollaindaise with ghee cuz i had a coconut oil version that was so good it made broccoli acceptable

Broccoli is always acceptable :colbert:

I searched for broccoli but it was mostly picky eater nonsense except for this dude who feels apparently feels very strongly about it.

Me 25F with my husband 30M: I wasted some broccoli

quote:

Duration of relationship: 5.5 years dating, 3 years married.

Last night after I got home from work and was relaxing on the couch, my husband walked over to me with some broccoli in his hand. It was turning yellow and clearly not good anymore.

"I thought this was for dinner tomorrow," he said.

"I guess it went bad, I'll get some more before dinner tomorrow," I said.

He sat down on the couch next to me and said something like, "Can you explain this? Can you explain what happened?"

I looked at him confused. He continued, "When did you buy this? Saturday? Sunday?"

I said, "Yeah, I think Sunday? What is going on? What is your point?"

He said, "You bought this Sunday for dinner Thursday. This clearly didn't work. Are you having trouble planning ahead? How can we solve this?"

I just stared at him for a while as he repeated himself and finally he dropped it.

We've never really had an interaction like this before. It just seemed so condescending and nasty, like he was my boss and I was at work and had done something wrong. It was such a stupid petty argument, but it's the next morning and I'm still upset.

Am I overreacting? Is he? Should I just try to forget this happened or should I talk to him about it? What should I say?

tl;dr: I bought broccoli on Sunday to cook on Thursday and it went bad. My husband sat me down to have a very serious discussion about how I could possibly let this happen. I am not sure why he did that.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 22:43

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