/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Here's a strange one.

just wrap your crotch in a compressive bandage and enjoy the evening

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:15

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# ? May 16, 2024 08:49

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

cyberia posted:

Is this information you just happen to keep in your back pocket or is it something a judge ordered you to learn about?

I didn't even catch this at first but are you honestly saying you thought loving 14 year olds was an okay thing to do?

"look at this fuckin rules lawyer tellin me to lay off high school freshmen as a 20 somethin goon"

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:15

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

ArbitraryC posted:

As an addendum i would imagine anyone who'd adopt a rabbit on a whim with 24 hours of seeing one in a pet store is likely not the kind of person who is going to adequately care for their large prey species.

That's what I was thinking too....it's one thing to impulsively buy something non-living and low-maintenance, but it's a living animal that needs care, not a toy or trinket. Dude does sound controlling but honestly I'd be a little peeved if my partner got a pet without my knowledge, especially after expressing disinterest in the idea. They're both pretty dumb honestly.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:17

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Here's a strange one.

I wonder why he gets boners in suits. Was the first time he had sex at prom and now his mind just associates dressing up with sex?

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:19

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

ArbitraryC posted:

I didn't even catch this at first but are you honestly saying you thought loving 14 year olds was an okay thing to do?

"look at this fuckin rules lawyer tellin me to lay off high school freshmen as a 20 somethin goon"

I just liked your caveat of 'in any state' because, to me, it implied that you'd checked them all in case you found a loophole somewhere.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:20

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

boner confessor posted:

just wrap your crotch in a compressive bandage and enjoy the evening

Post / username. Wonderful :golfclap:

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:20

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Post / username. Wonderful

His username makes me less likely to trust his advice on this specific subject.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:26

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Presenting: the most trivial bullshit imaginable, starring two very sad persons

quote:

Me [26F] with my husband [26M] 4 years, lost all my fake money in an online game and thinks it's hilarious

I feel dumb writing this but here we go. My husband got really into this really app where you play pool with strangers but you can also add friends and play them. He was playing it all the time so I thought I'd download it and we could play together, which we did, every day for the few months I've had the app. I really only have this app to play with him and eventually our housemate/friend downloaded it too so we can all play together when we're home and have "tournaments." For reference, I have played 300 games ever. 200 of those were against my husband, and another couple dozen were against our housemate. In the three months I've been playing, I've played against strangers ~75 times because 1) I don't really care for gambling, fake money or not, and playing my husband feels like we're just betting our own money back and forth and 2) I don't really enjoy playing strangers, I get stressed out because I am not very good so it's just throwing coins away. I strictly have this game to play with my husband, who will play throughout the day and has logged about 1,000 games. If he stopped playing I'd delete the app without a second thought.

We have very different strategies. He regularly gets to a point where he has a lot of coins, bets, and loses them all. I have never played a stranger for higher than 100 of my own coins, with maybe 5 exceptions. Today I reached the most coins I've ever had after winning one of those five exceptions and getting 2,500 coins. This is so stupid as I'm writing it but basically I just save my coins and don't find it thrilling to bet them all because there's a high chance I'll lose unless the other person really fucks up. I like opening the app and seeing I have a bunch of coins, and I only play my husband for 50-100 coins unless I'm feeling lucky and bet 500. This doesn't bother me because again, it just feels like I'm sharing coins with him and I'm having fun.

I REGULARLY mention that I am getting free coins/playing low-stakes because I don't want to lose all my coins. I've been playing three months and I only had 14,000 coins because I consistently bet low, and lose more than half the time. My husband said he would play a game for me so I told him not to bet more than 500 coins. I said this multiple times but he didn't respond. I played a game on his phone for 100 coins and won immediately because the other player quit, and I look over and see he's bet my entire fake-wallet. I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing and he just laughed and said, "Winning you more coins!" I walked away and he said, "Don't you want to watch me win twice as many coins as you've ever had?!" to which I said no. I came back a few minutes later and he was up on the other player by four balls, with just the 8 ball left. He missed the shot and what a surprise the other dude won in one turn. My husband laughed, said "Sometimes you just get unlucky! It's fake money, not a big deal!" But...it's not unlucky when you ask someone not to bet above a certain amount and they bet 28x that much and lose. That's not based on luck, that was a decision he made to potentially lose all the coins I've earned, fake or not. I feel really dumb being this upset and I'm clearly not going to divorce him or anything lol, this is just really out of character and I don't know how to express how upset I am...I feel disrespected and that this was inconsiderate. I was really proud of my fake money because I am bad at this game and it was proof I don't lose every time. I feel so stupid being upset about this but I couldn't even form words. I just said I didn't want to spend anymore time together tonight and walked away. This is going to be so silly to most but like I said, this is really out of character for him and this is basically the biggest issue we've had in our relationship in 4 years... Am I overreacting, or is it okay to feel like this was kinda hosed up?

tl;dr: My husband likes to make and gamble away lots of fake internet coins. I do not. I told him he could play a game for me but not to exceed 500 coins. He bet my entire wallet, 14,000 coins, and lost. Doesn't understand why I'm upset because it's just a game. Am I overreacting or not?

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:27

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Presenting: the most trivial bullshit imaginable, starring two very sad persons

gently caress..... i mean does it get any bleaker than that?

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:29

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Wait Ted seriously ends up with Robin? I stopped watching that show years before it ended, I knew the mom dying thing but not that he gets back with Robin. Isn't she married to Neil Patrick Harris?

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:31

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Tender Bender posted:

Wait Ted seriously ends up with Robin? I stopped watching that show years before it ended, I knew the mom dying thing but not that he gets back with Robin. Isn't she married to Neil Patrick Harris?

Their marriage ends up failing so that she can be single for old Ted to go win her. It's one of the worst endings I've seen in media, it's absolutely awful. The alternate ending they came up is much better:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoHUs8J7x94

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:36

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Presenting: the most trivial bullshit imaginable, starring two very sad persons

Cut off he dick and throw him in a trash compactor.

reddit posted:

fiance (25f) and I (23m) of four years were on our way to breaKing up. I was becoming ok with it but she dumped me by Facebook tagging me in a pic of her and the guy she was cheating with. ( ) How in the world do I recover from this?

u/Facebookbreakdown

Morning edit: the post is gone from her Facebook sometime overnight. I did take a screenshot so she can't deny she made it. I'm going to meet with the legal aid office on campus to find my options for getting the ring back so I can get rid of some (maybe all) of the credit card it was on. All of the advice was really good and except for the ring, I'm going to do my absolute 100% best to ignore her.

Try to make this quick because the details are not that unique. Was with my fiancé for 4 years. First two were awesome, third was miserable and she convinced a very naive me that out problems would be fixed by getting married. Year four was ok while she took over and planned our wedding. About two months ago the hairs on my neck tingled that she might be cheating. After some denial I looked into it and had all but the smoking gun that something was up.

I was building the nerve to end things with her and was going to officially ask for the ring back and go as non-contact as earthly possible on Monday when she was back in town (she had supposedly left to visit her cousin across the state line or one town over essentially).

About noon today my phone starts going crazy. On the lock screen I see about 50 different Facebook icons...all of which say "mom commented on a picture you were tagged in," "Sara commented..." And so on. I knew something was up because I'm not that active on FB and I looked at the pic it was her embracing the guy i suspected all along and the post of "THIS IS HOW YOU END THINGS...gently caress YOU ANTHONY"

I stared for a long time and read and reread the comments (her friends telling her how "fierce" she was and my friends and family telling her off) looked at all the licks and shocked faces for the better part of an hour. My mom called me, my grandma called me, my aunts, cousins and friends all called--and all adding to my humiliation.

Im still getting notifications. The last one was calling me a "cuckold f****. I honestly don't know what to do long term or short term. I feel like crawling under a rock and dying.

tl;dr : fiance dumped me over Facebook viciously. I'm so embarrassed I have no idea what to do

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Apr 7, 2017

# ? Apr 7, 2017 02:41

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My wife [24 F] is basically a frat bro and I [27 M] feel a little grossed out and inadequate

quote:

I've been married to my wife for about 3 years now. We were best friends for a long time before we started courting and eventually got married; she's a really stereotypical "tomboy" and when we were younger I always just considered her as "one of the guys." Our relationship is great because I still see her as my best friend and I can really be uninhibited around her, but at the same time this also means she acts pretty much just like an average "frat bro." She drinks a lot of beer socially, leaves her marijuana paraphernalia lying around, gets loud and rowdy, loves big crowds and loud noises, and can get pretty gross (burps openly etc).

I'll be honest, she's amazing and freaking fun to be around 99% of the time. It's also not like she doesn't take care of adult responsibilities, since she makes more money than me and can be very presentable when she needs to be, but lately I've been feeling like I'm slowing her down or I'm just "not as cool" as she is anymore. Loud parties have started to annoy and tire me, but she's still as excited about them as when we first met. Weed bores me now, but she still smokes fairly regularly (granted she has an actual prescription). Sometimes when we meet up with friends and family and I meet other people's wives who are girly and graceful I can't help but compare them to my wife, who thinks those kanye shutter shades are still a thing, openly watches porn and tries to engage me in conversations about "good places to bang in," and calls literally everyone (her boss, my dad, EVERYONE) either "dude" or "bro."

Our friends don't understand my problem at all, so I really don't have anyone to talk to. All I get from them are really blank stares or even "dude Krista's awesome" and I've been feeling pretty invalidated. I've tried to talk to my wife about this, and she told me that she wasn't going to be young forever and wanted to squeeze in as much fun and chaos as possible until inevitably she grew too old for crazy parties, drinking, and being rowdy. While I can understand this I can't help but feel inadequate since I don't enjoy these things as much as she does anymore, and I also feel like I

"missed out" on having a more traditional, quiet and sweet wife.

tl;dr: My wife enjoys a crazy party lifestyle and acts like a frat bro (even the gross aspects), and I feel like this is gross and unfair for me since I've grown up from that phase.

The cool girl speech from gone girl.txt

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:08

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

La Brea Carpet posted:

pretty gross (burps openly etc)

lmao yeah aging is why this guy isn't cool

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:12

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

La Brea Carpet posted:

Get real leafy bitch

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:14

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

sounds like she's gonna hang onto a college lifestyle long after it's inappropriate, I'm sure people will rush to defend her but that kinda person is honestly a real drag to hang out with after 25 or so.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:16

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

ArbitraryC posted:

sounds like she's gonna hang onto a college lifestyle long after it's inappropriate, I'm sure people will rush to defend her but that kinda person is honestly a real drag to hang out with after 25 or so.

yeah, if she was like trying to hang with college girls and inviting them over to the house for flip cup until she winds up puking in the bushes every Saturday night

look at his examples of her awful bro behavior again

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:19

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

ArbitraryC posted:

sounds like she's gonna hang onto a college lifestyle long after it's inappropriate, I'm sure people will rush to defend her but that kinda person is honestly a real drag to hang out with after 25 or so.

Move it to the bar with the rest of losers, jesus.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:18

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

ArbitraryC posted:

sounds like she's gonna hang onto a college lifestyle long after it's inappropriate, I'm sure people will rush to defend her but that kinda person is honestly a real drag to hang out with after 25 or so.

quote:

Our friends don't understand my problem at all, so I really don't have anyone to talk to. All I get from them are really blank stares or even "dude Krista's awesome" and I've been feeling pretty invalidated.

Don't you think if she was being a drag all of her friends would bring it up to him and not go "Actually, she's great?"

I think he's feeling invalidated because he's just wrong and a square.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:25

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Stop having fun, some of us are trying to listen to chamber music here.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:25

fbsw: Mar 3, 2016

krista will realize her dude was pretending the whole time and will call him a human being and stuff until he cheats on her and cries about it.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:27

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I dunno "loud parties shes still excited for" kinda tipped me off but maybe I'm reading too much into it based on people I knew in grad school. Not sayin you should stop having fun as you grow up but I think certain things are only really supposed to be fun when they're new and you're young. That's p much why I said I expected people to defend her tho I think it sorta boils down to your life experience.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:38

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Hahaha just read this bit:

grey person from reddit posted:

I'll be honest, she's amazing and freaking fun to be around 99% of the time. It's also not like she doesn't take care of adult responsibilities, since she makes more money than me

He can suck a dick, she's awesome.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Apr 7, 2017

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:38

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

My wife [24 F] is basically a frat bro and I [27 M] feel a little grossed out and inadequate

The cool girl speech from gone girl.txt

Oh gently caress you you stupid rear end piece of poo poo moron, go gently caress yourself and eat poo poo and die :murder:

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:42

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Gee if only it was possible for one partner to stay home sometimes when the other wanted to go out. Seems insurmountable.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

blehhhh I'm a boring loser who doesn't make any money or have any friends bleehhhh why didn't i get a slave girl instead of a woman with interests bluhhhdhhhhh

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:45

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

b-b-but i wanted a stepford wife, like all my friends definitely actually have :qq:

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:47

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

lol

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:48

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

ArbitraryC posted:

sounds like she's gonna hang onto a college lifestyle long after it's inappropriate, I'm sure people will rush to defend her but that kinda person is honestly a real drag to hang out with after 25 or so.

nah it's actually appropriate for people in their mid 20's to squeeze out what's left of their college youth while they can. sucks to be her idiot ungrateful husband who doesn't appreciate his cool wife. with any luck he'll succumb to greener grass, she'll divorce his dumb rear end and find someone better

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:48

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

all that nonsense is well and good when one is but a bairn, but some of us have matured and set aside childish things, like burping and openly acknowleging liking sex to your husband

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:54

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

quote:

tries to engage me in conversations about "good places to bang in,"

Like holy poo poo dude, how many men are bitching about lack of sex in their relationships and you're mad about this?

# ? Apr 7, 2017 03:57

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

at the wise age of 27, i have tired of my foolish young wife and her impulsive, pleasure seeking behavior

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:04

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

WampaLord posted:

Like holy poo poo dude, how many men are bitching about lack of sex in their relationships and you're mad about this?

she isn't supposed to want it, she's supposed to meekly acquiesce to my manly power, lie back, and think of England

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:04

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

pikachu posted:

Log in / Register

r/relationshipsRelationships

Me [32 M] with my Wife [32 M/F] together for 4 years. Pokemon Go and some choices surrounding it are causing issues. Need Advice!

u/blobanatorw

Funny enough Pokemon Go has led to some weird issues between me and my wife.

My wife basically plays Pokemon Go at 90% of moments she isn't working or texting a friend.(Level 32?) This isn't hyperbole. The phone is just out most of the time.

I would say our relationship is really healthy in that I can bring up the amount of time on the phone, and we handle it appropriately. But lately Pokemon Go has made this a little more difficult.

The main issue is that she has started meeting men our age 1-2 days a week to go catch Pokemon. All day. From 12pm - 7pm sort of hours.

I've asked her if she is planning to continue to do it if it makes me uncomfortable ("yes, would like to")

I've asked her if she would be comfortable if I did this with other women ("not sure/no answer")

I've asked if she could reserve catching with the guys so I could go with them, I don't play though.("Yes, I don't know, it'd be weird")

I've asked her if the guys and her and I could meet for drinks with their fiances/girlfriends(didn't love that suggestion, but seemed okay with it)

I will admit I am being insecure. Just not sure what to do. It's clear as of now they are meeting up for Pokemon GO. I'm not giving any ultimatums. Just communicating to her that I'm uncomfortable with the set-up and looking for ways to work it out. I'm also just still processing it. It's the first time it's come up in our relationship. Also, I've gone out of the way to not put myself in situations like this with other women, when I could have a billion times. So just a little miffed it's not being reciprocated.

Any advice?

tl;dr: Wife plays Pokemon Go basically all the time. Now is meeting up with guys her age on her days off to catch all day. I'm insecure about it.

Got to catch ~~them~~ all _{the penises}

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 04:11 on Apr 7, 2017

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:08

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I dunno all I'm just saying is let's consider that the op is bad at expressing themselves and not merely humblebragging. I can think of people who I'd consider didn't grow up, maybe you can too.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:08

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

I totally do, but she's outclassing him socially, financially, and also sounds like her self confidence is way higher. She's only 24.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Sounds like she's rad and he sucks and she should dump his stupid lame garbage rear end

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:16

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I guess that's fair, she's makin more money than him he has no right to complain.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:20

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

ArbitraryC posted:

I guess that's fair, she's makin more money than him he has no right to complain.

Me (39M) and ArbitraryC(??) Disagree about stuff on SA, now i have erectile dysfunction

It's the only definition he used for functioning well as an adult. If he said she isn't able to hold down a job due to her lifestyle, I could see that being a problem.

TLDR: It's the closest I've got to "functioning as an adult".

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 04:36 on Apr 7, 2017

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:24

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# ? May 16, 2024 08:49

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pokemon Go is apparently what Ashley Madison wishes it could have been.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 04:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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